Lines you never want to hear while playing SR, Uh oh, it just hit the fan ... Options

[Tanka]

[Sahandrian]

[snowRaven]

Scene: runners are stealing the Scrolls of Ak'le'ar from the lab in the DIMR building

GM(Me): The alarm has gone off, what are you going to do?

Player: While the others run I set a charge to eliminate any evidence.

GM: You are doing what, exactly?

Player: I have 4 kilos of C12 with me - I set the timer to 20 seconds, that should be enough time for us to get out...

[Lindt]

GM: sure, go for it. Let me give you a TN. *gets out adding machine*

[thunderchild]

GM "How do you calculate light naval damage again?"

Rigger "what do you mean "economy"?

Sammy *BLAM, BLAM, BLAM* TAKE THAT COPPER!!! *BLAM, BLAM, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK...* craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

Shaman "My totem says I need to have some chocolate cake RIGHT NOW!



My favorite one that ever happened in my game was this.

gunfight in an office building and the entire team piled into an elevator to escape the Steel Lynx that was chasing them through the corrodors. Two trolls (one a cyber monster, the other holding a prototype engine), an ork, a heavily cybered human, an elf and a dwarf.

so it breaks down like this

Troll 1 - 400kg
Troll 2 - 400kg (counting engine)
Ork - 170kg
Human - 180Kg
Elf - 90Kg
Dwarf - 120Kg (loadsa gear)

so thats 1360Kg

and the dumbass playing the elf says "I wonder if the lift can hold us" now an evil grin crossed our GM's face, a positively drek eating grin. we all stared daggers at him. I looked at the gm and shook my head, he decided to err on the side of caution, and the fact that he knew that that it wouldnt have been unfair if HE had thought of it, but since it was a players stupidity, he said the elevators flrro was bowing and the cables were making some funny groaning noises.

[Jimmy_the_Fixer]

here are a few good ones:

"oops, I forgot to use my silent spell..."

"Hey, isn't that a sketch of you on the T.V.?"

Street Sam. #1 "Why did you just hang up on the Johnson? you do realize he was really pissed off, and is really powerful?"
Street Sam. #2 "Uh... so what? He won't do anyhting to us..."

GM: "Wait how many dice are you rolling?"

PC: "I pull out my cell phone."
GM: "Did you buy a cell phone?"
PC: "I thought we just got them>"
GM: "No, you have to buy them"
PC: "Its the future, everyone should have cell phones!"

and here are some situations that have ended in dead PCs:

1.
PC: "Uh... I use power bolt."
GM: you realize if you do that you'll be knocked out, and there already a ton of guys on thier way, all with guns."
PC: "So..."

2.
PC: "I shoot the orks before they walk inside the building."
GM: "Okay... wait do you have silancers on your pistols?"
PC: "No, does that matter?"

3.
PC: "I charge him head on, how long will it take me to get to him?"
GM: "It'll take a round"
PC: "Okay, I'll run at him, I have enough in my Body stat to handle it"
GM: "Do you have any idea what a machine gun that size will do to you?"
PC: "I'll survive it."
GM: "Are you going to roll any of your combat pool to dodge it?"
PC: "No, I'll use it when I really need it..."

4.
GM: "You wake up in a plain white room, your covered in blood, its coming from your mouth and head, theres a couple of corp guys, two of them obviously cybered, the normal one asks you why you were trying to break in, and about those gaurds you killed."
PC: "I laugh, and then spit blood in his face, then I moan really loud, and slur insults at him."
GM: "Wait here, I have to go print out another charicter sheet."

[Phaeton]

[Phaeton]

"Future Juushichi: Don't make me turn this into a game of Canadian Pirates.

Future Juushichi: Fine. You play your normal characters and deal with THE COMPLETE AND UTTER INSANITY YOU HAVE BROUGHT UPON YOURSELVES!"


I don't think I need to say more. :biggrin: :grinbig: :rotfl:

[Shanshu Freeman]

[Phaeton]

[Talia Invierno]

[moosegod]

Now, on the flip side.

GM brings in Aguilar Attack helicopter.

Player has two fighter drones.

GM is like "no big deal, Aguilar should be fine"

Player fires 2 military grade AAM's.

Aguilar goes down in flames.

GM cries.

[Zeel De Mort]

We now use overdamage rules for melee combat, just the same as firearms. A rule we just instituted last week...

GM: He beats you by 10 successes.
Me: Okay, how much damage does that do?
GM: 22 deadly plus 10.

[BumsofTacoma]

GM: Alright you have taken 7 box's of lethal. 5 of stun.

PC: And how many guards are left?

GM: You got 2, wounded 2, so there is one left operational. The wounded ones ran away.

PC: OH!
GM: The alarm go's off and you hear footsteps. lots of em.

PC: Um, how long will it take to perform sepeku with a survival knife and a body of 9?
------------------------------

pc:I leap from this roof to the next one.
GM: the next building is only three stories high!!!!
pc:SO!
gm: but the one your standing on is...
pc: yeah yeah, i got an 8, 9, and a two 4's do I make it?

GM: Yeah, you plummet 30 stories plowing through the roof of the appartment complex. As you land in the basement wash room, the cloths dryer dings.
-------------------------------------------------

gm:I was thinking about running palladium tonight instead of SR

-----

[Shev]

Two GM's (a main and an assistant) were running me and my friends first run. We enter a corp building the hard way, blasting our way through the guards (it was the riggers idea :P ) at the front desk. As we proceeded to the elevator, a rotating gun turret popped out from the ceiling, and began revving up to fire. Rolling the highest initiative, (armed with nothing but a sword and a crossbow) I got the first action before bullets started spraying.

Me: Hmm...I make a running jump and grab onto the gun to keep it from firing.
(Stunned silence)
Assistant GM(to GM): Um, can he do that?

I actually made the jump, and kept the gun from firing long enough for my chummers to disable it.

[Kesh]

"Hey guys, I just finished watching this great movie! Gave me some real good ideas, so I think this'll be a fun session."

Now, the real horror of this phrase depends on whether he just finished watching:

A) Robocop
B) Se7en
C) Hellraiser
D) Urutsukidojii: Legend of the Overfiend

:D

[Spookymonster]

E) Ernest Goes To Jail

[MuscaDomestica]

GM: When you do a search on your team mates identities you see 3 avitars of people wearing armor telling you to stop and see identification.
PC: I take out my black hammer utility and wave it at them to scare them off...

It went downhill from there....

[Fahr]

Gm: You failed your will roll, The Spirit commands you to put your Pistol to your head.
PC: Ok
Gm: the Spirit commands you to Pull the trigger...
PC: *click*
Gm: now your pistol does.... wait... click?
Pc: yep, ran outa ammo on the pistol three rooms ago, so it goes click.
Gm: #&$% !@&

- when counting ammo is a GOOD thing....

-Mike R.

[Tanka]

[John Campbell]

Situation: Two human PCs, Phil (me) and Kiera, in an ork bar, being not-so-politely asked to leave by a large, angry troll.

Troll: "What're you fragging humans doing in here?"
Kiera's player (to GM): "I hand the troll the business card we took off the Humanis guy we killed."
Kiera's player (calmly, to me): "Run."

[Reaver]

Situation. Player Troll is in a blimp which is being attacked by enemy fighters and see's one approaching.

GM: You can see and F-16 making an attack run on the blimp.

PC: Remember that assault cannon I said I brought? I shoot it!

[boodah]

[boodah]

[Talia Invierno]

Player 1: You know that electrical fire / sewer explosion you wanted me to set up? I hope you wanted that only for distraction purposes ...
Player 2: Why?
Player 1: Well, it was a really good explosion and all, and the electrical fire is shooting flames 30' into the air ... but the building lights are still on.


(Reference to a real life occurrence this week - one which ended up evacuating my building - which I had to interpret into SR terms ;) Incredibly, not one person was injured, and the power never so much as blinked.)