 How may gamers get laid?, Reversing destiny |
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 Jan 11 2008, 09:03 PM
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#51
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Awakened Asset  Group: Members Posts: 4,464 Joined: 9-April 05 From: AGS, North German League Member No.: 7,309  |
I do not think you need practice. What you describe says you perfected some skill already. Try to enjoy giving your partner good feelings, concentrate on yourself while you do it. Darwinian Failure... nonsense. If you don´t like it, don´t do it. Enjoy making love, but don´t force sex. Nearly forgot to mention. I´m living in with my favourite female gamer, one player in my group brought his new gf into the group, and one is freshly taken by one that has played in the past but no interest in restarting. The reason may be that we don´t fit the cliche at all - one does physical labour and is thin, one recently qualified for something like an ATF-squad, and one pushes weights three times a week. Shore up those dump stats indeed. |
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Jan 11 2008, 09:12 PM
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#52
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Genuine Artificial Intelligence Group: Members Posts: 4,019 Joined: 12-June 03 Member No.: 4,715 |
Another solution to the Darwinian failure vs. undesirable sex issue is to invest resources in blood relatives. Set up a college fund for a niece or nephew, if you have one. Help your brothers/sisters have successful lives and babies. If you invest resources into increasing the odds of your blood relatives reproducing and being successful you're still successful in the Darwinian model, as those blood relatives are carrying some of the same genetic material as you and you're helping make sure it's passed on. Just a thought. |
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Jan 12 2008, 12:00 AM
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#53
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Man Behind the Curtain Group: Admin Posts: 14,871 Joined: 2-July 89 From: End of the Yellow-Brick Road Member No.: 3 |
This thread has ventured way outside of relevancy to gaming. While the conversation is civil and possibly even therapeutic, the graphic content is not appropriate to this board.
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Jan 12 2008, 03:49 AM
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#54
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Old Man of the North Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 10,006 Joined: 14-August 03 From: Just north of the Centre of the Universe Member No.: 5,463 |
Redjack, with the thread title being what it is, I cannot imagine how the discussion could be considered off-topic.
You make a point about the subject matter possibly being beyond the range appropriate for young readers, but that's actually sad. A community of caring individuals discussing something germane to the lives and perceptions about gamers, and actually talking some of us through difficult questions should be held as an *example* for young readers as counterbalance to so much of what bombards their senses daily. I guess there were a few off-colour moments, though. But again, with that title, what did you expect? The orange text should have appeared right away, then. |
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Jan 12 2008, 06:59 AM
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#55
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 533 Joined: 26-February 02 From: In a hot tub, with lots of bubbles and champagne waiting for you. Member No.: 1,972 |
my name is on the birth certificates so i'm up a creek either way. At least i know she DOES the dipsey doodle
She feign interest while we were going out. Made it a point she didn't like it after marriage. Could never get her interested, she is a woman after all. And that brings us full circle folks. girl gamers is an oxymoron, believe it! |
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Jan 12 2008, 09:55 PM
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#56
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Man Behind the Curtain Group: Admin Posts: 14,871 Joined: 2-July 89 From: End of the Yellow-Brick Road Member No.: 3 |
The original posts in this thread were humorous, metaphoric and definitely rated PG. Several of the posts above were graphic to the point of NC-17+. What we expect is people draw a reasonable line. |
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Jan 13 2008, 01:03 AM
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#57
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Deus Absconditus Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 2,742 Joined: 1-September 03 From: Downtown Seattle, UCAS Member No.: 5,566 |
I think Snow Fox and Pistons might disagree. |
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Jan 13 2008, 01:45 AM
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#58
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Prime Runner Group: Retired Admins Posts: 3,929 Joined: 26-February 02 From: .ca Member No.: 51 |
Don't feed the troll.
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Jan 13 2008, 04:15 AM
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#59
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 533 Joined: 26-February 02 From: In a hot tub, with lots of bubbles and champagne waiting for you. Member No.: 1,972 |
silly goose, well of course they'd say different. If they told ya da truth they'd reveal one of their secret mechanims for ensarement. They remain coy and mysterious, all the better to draw ya in. then KABLAMO! they put the kaybosh on ya and the one ring, the shackle of servitude, is placed upon your ring finger, and never again to know of a day free of nagging. My wife, I never knew what hit me. Blind sided, bushwhacked, flim flamed, grifted, bamboozled, hoodwinked, and.....er....other such words... |
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Jan 13 2008, 09:44 PM
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#60
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Old Man of the North Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 10,006 Joined: 14-August 03 From: Just north of the Centre of the Universe Member No.: 5,463 |
My first wife played D&D for years, until our child grew to toddler-size, and then she wanted to spend time with the kid instead. We learned rol-playing together, after marriage.
My second wife played D&D before me, and D&D, Shadowrun and Changeling with me for years, and continued to play/GM after we split. My third wife plays Shadowrun, as long as the games don't go marathon length. My fourth .... oh .... still on number three..."AND STAYING THERE FOREVER MORE, SWEETHEART!" |
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Jan 13 2008, 09:49 PM
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#61
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The ShadowComedian Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 14,538 Joined: 3-October 07 From: Hamburg, AGS Member No.: 13,525 |
ah yes, women . . can't live with them, can't live without them . .
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Jan 14 2008, 02:40 PM
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#62
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Incertum est quo loco te mors expectet; Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,546 Joined: 24-October 03 From: DeeCee, U.S. Member No.: 5,760 |
I WISH my wife would lose interest in gaming now and again.
She gives me 1 hour when I first get to work, then up to half an hour before I leave plus lunch. The rest of the time she's online asking me 'what happens next'. |
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Jan 14 2008, 05:37 PM
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#63
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 983 Joined: 20-February 06 Member No.: 8,286 |
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Jan 16 2008, 05:22 PM
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#64
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,245 Joined: 27-April 07 From: Running the streets of Southeast Virginia Member No.: 11,548 |
You aren't the only one... not from a lack of trying either. Though I did have sex before marriage... with my girlfriend who I ended up marrying 5 months later. Still together after 12+ years too. |
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Jan 19 2008, 12:24 AM
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#65
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 103 Joined: 21-August 07 Member No.: 12,814 |
Wounded Ronin, that you seemed to enjoy porn is interesting. It is as if you enjoy the concept, would like to enjoy sex, but the execution turns you off. Now, porn is very different than true sex. Porn often involves things your partner would not be comfortable with and it can also be very unrealistic when it comes to the enjoyment factor. (Most of us don't have two cameras, a makeup crew, and a company paying your partner thousands to be beautiful and do everything you might want, including pretending to like things they don't). Is the 'realism' of real sex the problem? You mention anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. Anxiety over your looks? Performance? Expectations? What the person thinks of you? From what I understand, these types of things take a long time. If you trust them, turn to your partner for support. A good partner will be more than glad to be reassuring. While they likely don't want someone without a backbone at all, that doesn't sound like you. We all have places where we need help, and it sounds as if you can perform - you just need love in return to let you know that what you are doing truly is good and that you are truly appreciated and admired. I once heard a friend ask this of another friend, and i thought it was something worth thinking about for anyone. Do you feel as if sex is supposed to be about one thing, but is actually about another? What are those things? In the end, you want sex to feel like what it actually is, and for both partners to feel that way. Sex is important in a relationship, and being on the same page (which requires communication) is very important. This is especially true in heterosexual relationships, since men and women often have libido levels that change over time. Keeping wants and needs clear is a key to happiness.
Sex, for most people, is not about pain, tests of willpower, or pressure (in the sense of trying to perform). It certainly can be, but this is more about B&D and SM. Those can be fun for the right people, but seldom have the staying power of romantic passionate sex (which is the type of sex most commonly desired, especially by women). More forceful sex is certainly ok, but it is worth making sure that this is desired in a good way and that it is not a way of expressing deeper psychological feelings that may not be healthy. If you find yourself pulled to sex that is not consensual or not the type that is painful to your partner, you should look into counseling. There are great specialists out there that can really help you have energetic and great sex without one or both persons being hurt. Counseling can be a great idea for anyone that sees differences between expectations, or just for dealing with anxiety.
Count me in as someone not wanting a punch to the face. I'm not saying you can't find partners out there that want that, but just be open to whether this is something healthy (and you just need to find that needle in a haystack person) or unhealthy (and you want to turn to someone that can help you refocus those desires into something that aligns with what most partners want). It does sound like you have good physical outlets, so perhaps a partner that enjoys combative physical exercise (working out, sparring) but then can help you draw the line (now we are in bed, it's more about being together and enjoying each other) could happen.
Not correct. The important part is for offspring to be produced in a way that is non-threatening to the species. The species is trying to maximize. Therefore A) the offspring do not need to be yours, and B) the species should not increase if this is not good for the species. This speaks to our need to be responsible and caring for others, and to ensure the species prospers. There are lots of examples of this in nature.
I could not disagree more, and here's why. The secret to happiness is not mechanical execution. You won't fool any partner over the years that way. You will get yourself into an unhappy situation. I would instead suggesting focusing on the opposite of sex; learning about partners and what they want and about yourself and what you want. Can you find a common ground? Can you find ways to overcome your anxieties? There are people out there waiting to love you, but there are other people out there to be found as well. In the Darwinian sense (of sorts) there is a competition for mates. Partners insure wellness, regardless of the desire for offspring. A soulmate is a wonderful thing to have. There are tons of people that don't desire sex, if that's what you want, but my read (from what you have written) is that you do want sex. What you want seems to be the path towards good enjoyable sex without feeling like a misfit. That's a path many have survived/completed, and you can too. Like anything else, it takes work, dedication, and time, but if you take one small step at a time and keep an open mind, you will get there! |
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Jan 19 2008, 12:44 AM
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#66
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Uncle Fisty Group: Admin Posts: 13,891 Joined: 3-January 05 From: Next To Her Member No.: 6,928 |
This is one of those threads that hedges the line, then steps over it, then goes back, then makes a token effort to maintain, then goes over, then back then ... you get the picture. We try to give Gen Gaming some leeway, but then there are ones that are like this one, where here's the line -> ------- and here's where the subject has gone ---^_______ :D ========== :D
[ Spoiler ] So without further ado, this topic's closed. This really has nothing pertinent anymore, as amusing as it was. If you really want to debate your sex lives, feel free to do so via PM or personal chat. Thanks. |
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 25th November 2024 - 03:55 AM |
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