Comical Shadowrun phrases to live by, come on I know we all have some good ones Options

[Pendaric]

Expect the players will be twice as stupid as you would hope and twice as clever as you would like.

Never bring a RIVAL ganger into Halloweener turf for safe keeping.

Without trust there is no respite. Without trust there is no betrayal.

Dont up the calibre, up the accuracy.

[Platinum Dragon]

When you pull the pin on Mr Grenade, he is no longer your friend.

A grenade's explosion radius is always one foot greater than your jumping distance.

5 second grenades have 3 second fuses.

No plan survives contact with the players.

I think that's a little more accurate.

There are three solutions to any given situation: the two that the GM anticipates and plans for, and the one the players will eventually devise and use.

[kanislatrans]

"If every crime syndicate in the city has a bounty on your head, it might be time to change tactics...or move."

"A Johnson in hand is way too much information"

" I trust you like a brother... but then, my brother is a chiphead and a thief."

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif)

[Black Mamba]

This is "Old School" from SR1.

"Is that a Panther Cannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

[Thal'aen]

Wow, I'm a little surprised that some of these are missing:

1: Friendly fire - isn't.
1b: Suppressive fire - doesn't.

2: The law of supply and demand as it applies while on the run:
Whatever you have, you won't need.
Whatever you need, you won't have.

3: The Boys in Black invariably show up on two occasions:
a) When they're good and ready, and
b) When you're not

4: If you're short on everything except incoming rounds, you're on a run...

5: Odd objects attract fire; never take cover behind one.
5b: Odd objects attract fire; yes, this means YOU are odd.

6: Professional killers are predictable; the world, however, is full of dangerous amateurs

"When you pull the pin on Mr Grenade, he is no longer your friend."
7: Grenades are equal opportunity weapons

8: Any runner's story that starts "So, there I was,...." will be either true or false.
8b: Any of these stories that end with "and that's the way it happened, no drek." was neither true nor false.

In regards to whether Trolls or drones go in first:
9: Don't be the first one in, don't ever be the last in... and whatever you do, never, EVER volunteer to scout ahead.

10: There is always a failsafe way into the highly-guarded corporation's KoS zone ... the problem is that it never works.

11: Any drekhead off the street can be used to safely clear a boobytrap for you .... once.

12: Walk softly, but forget the big stick. Carry a belt-fed weapon.
12b: When you see the gillette carrying the Panther Assault Cannon, remember: the raw damage output of the weapon is always inversely proportional to the IQ of it's wielder.

13: If it's stupid but it works - it wasn't stupid. (Youse just a lousy slot wot can't admit it were a damn good idear!)

14: The easy way in is ALWAYS mined... or worse.

15: Your fellow runners all serve their own purpose in each and every run; they give the enemy someone else to shoot at.
15b: Never draw fire; it tends to irritate everyone around you.

16: There are very few times when your opponent cannot actually hear you: when he's dead, when you're dead, or when you're not there.

17: If you can think clearly, know exactly what's happening, and are in total control of a situation while on a run... you're not on a run.

18: The terms "bullet-proof" and "personal armor" are mutually exclusive.

19: When purchasing gear for the next run, remember that you can get it:
a) Cheap
b) Fast
c) In good condition.
Pick any two

20: If at first you don't succeed, redefine "success."

[Blade]

To each problem its grenade.

[Chrysalis]

"When you look left, look right. When you look down, look up. When you look straight, look back."

[BookWyrm]

No good deed goes unpunished.
Just when you think you've had enough, there's always more.
Even when you're on-time, you're late.

[crash2029]

No plan survives contact with the players.

I think that's a little more accurate.

When I get to play, my brilliant, admittedly eccentric, plans are almost always shot down by the GM.

And because nobody has said it yet:

"Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, make a deal with a dragon."

And one of mine:

If that seemingly meek target you're interrogating starts mumbling to himself, you have three choices.
1: shoot him, in the head, many times
2: run
3: die

[Chrysalis]

If you have to keep the mission with no mortality rate, knock the guard unconscious steal his clothes smear Ky jelly on his hand and butt and stick a broom up his ass. Take pictures and leave them in the break-room.


Murphy's rules for combat

[ Spoiler ]

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. If you can see the enemy, they can see you.
3. Incoming fire has the right of way.
4. Friendly fire isn't.
5. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
6. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. This is why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets.
7. There is always a way.
8. The easy way is always mined.
9. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
10. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
11. The enemy only attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them, and when you're not ready for them.
12. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
13. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
14. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
15. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
16. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
17. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
18. If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.
19. When in doubt empty the magazine.
20. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
21. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
22. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
23. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
24. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
25. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
26. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
27. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
28. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
29. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
30. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
31. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
32. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
33. You are not a superman.
34. No plan survives the first contact intact.
35. If you are forward of your position the artillery will always fall short.
36. The important things are always simple.
37. The simple things are always hard.
38. No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
39. Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
40. Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equals 37 enemy KIA.
41. Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
42. Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
43. Tracers work both ways.
44. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
45. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
46. If it moves, shoot it.
47. If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.
48. Overkill works.
49. Murphy was a grunt.

"Yeah it sucks, but then, everything sucks."

[psychophipps]

Cassidy: "And what is it with you and that ridunkulously gigantic axe?"

Bulldog: "It's not the size of the axe, it's how you use it."

Mac: "Yeah...whatever. Your axe is flippin' huge!"

Bulldog: "Well, they never go on to say that having a big axe is a bad thing..."

[masterofm]

Never trust anyone who says "trust me."

Always bring more weapons then you can possibly use.

Violence is generally the first and last resort.



There is almost always an inverse proportion of how runners tend to botch the easiest runs, but rock all over the hardest ones. Why is this? If you asked them to protect a person from a small gang that has been hassling their store generally half the block will end up being destroyed, the shop keeper killed, and on Lone Stars hit list. However if they are taking on a heavily guarded facility (the challenge) they will at least do a decent job of it and at least rip all of your cleaver plans to shit. If not at least they will always have done better then protecting the shopkeeper against like five guys on bikes carrying light pistols.

[Tachi]

When in danger, or in doubt; run in circles, scream and shout.

[psychophipps]

"Happiness is a warm gun." - Unknown

[AllTheNothing]

For a 'run you need a plan, a secondary plan, a reserve plan, a contingency plan, an emergency plan and always a good pair of sheos to get the f**k out of there running like hell for your own life.

Shadowruns are named after their regular conclusion: running or dieing.

If the run was succesfull something something didn't go as intended.

If the run was succesfull something, it means that dreck hit someone else fan.

A runner is likely to be worth more money once dead than living, but than everyone is.

Let the SINless throw the first granade.

[AllTheNothing]

When betryed:
Tu quoque Bruto filii mignottarum.

[AllTheNothing]

"Happiness is a warm gun." - Unknown

Happines standes always on a very specific end of the barrel.

[de4dmeta1]

This one co-opted from one of the group's GM's for my most recent character (who drives around in a stolen LS cruiser, wearing a dead cop's uniform) - also works for actual LS cops;

"Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law!:

[merashin]

"so what's plan B?" "shoot everyone and throw some grenades" "i like plan B, lets just skip plan A"

[LostProxy]

"Runners dont have friends, only resources."

"Ambush is just a fancy word for your an idiot"
-----

"Ok plan C"

"What about plan A"

"Plan A and B always fail so I'm just saving us time and skipping straight to C"

[wind_in_the_ston...]

If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, shoot it til it moves.

[wind_in_the_ston...]

Nah, it's DGIF, unless the troll really wants to get shot up.

A drone that goes in first gets shot up (rigger complains that this is comming out of someone else's pay) and can be repaired or replaced. The troll gets shot up, chopped up for body parts and is then sold to the local Tanamous dealer. Ok..TGIF, unless you actuall like the troll.

Sounds like your trolls aren't very good.

[TKDNinjaInBlack]

According to the SR4 BBB:

The scariest words in the English language are, "It'll be easy."

[hosh]

When in doubt, shoot.
Never bring a bow to a gun fight, unless you are a troll with a 15 strength.
And my ever favorite answer when asked by a NYPD officer what I do for a living. "I catch bullets."
Also what everyone missed. The Spirit goes in first.

[Warlordtheft]

Sounds like your trolls aren't very good.

It is not that they aren't any good, it's just that nothing short of a dragon can take full auto butsts from HMGs in gunports. Drones are expendable, your troll isn't (unless he is really really stupid).

Forgot one of my favorites:

Rule#1 in shadowrun:Geek the Mage.
Rule#2 in shadowrun:Geek the other Mage.