A Human an Ork and an Elf walk into a bar., anyone got any 6th world humor??? Options

[OneTrikPony]

Is racism ok here if it's 6th world racism? I think I'll try it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Where did the Ork Family go for thanksgiving? No where, McHughes isn't open on holidays.

What's the diference between an Ork and a Pizza? A pizza can feed a family of six.

How come Trolls are so fast? Cause all the slow ones are in prison.

Two Elves are walking down the street when one looks over and sees a large dog in a front yard hunched over and tenaciously licking himself. One elf says; "Wow, I shure wish I could do that!" The other elf says; "Me too! Maybe he'll let us if we pet him first."

OK, so these are just retreads, but someone here has to have some good sixth world humor.

Any takers?

[Brazilian_Shinob...]

Will I go to 6th World hell for laughing at all these jokes?

[Ravor]

The Sixth World IS hell, so knock yourself out.

[tisoz]

Here's some.

[Blade]

I've come up with a lot of Shadowrun jokes and especially jokes that aren't just new versions of existing jokes... The problem is that they're French word-play and can't be translated.

[pbangarth]

I've come up with a lot of Shadowrun jokes and especially jokes that aren't just new versions of existing jokes... The problem is that they're French word-play and can't be translated.

So post a couple. We can make a pass at understanding them.

[Method]

Guy walks into a bar with a new set of cyber ears.
Waitress says "Hey Ned!! New hardware huh?"
Ned says, "Yep, brand new with all the bells and whistles. Select sound filter, high and low frequency, the works. Got em off my street doc at a great price."
Waitress says "Thats great. How much did they cost?"
Ned says "About 12:30... what's that buzzing sound?"

[Method]

Guy walks into a bar with a box and a tiny little man on his shoulder. The little man is about a foot tall and wearing a miniature tuxedo. The guy pulls a stool up to the bar and orders a drink.
Bartender says "Hey Larry, what's with this little guy? Is he a gnome or somethin?."
Larry say "Not exactly. You know how custom illusions are all the rage now-a-days? Well I saved up my money and went and talked to ol' Ned and he quickened this little fella for me." Larry reaches into the box and pulls out a miniature piano. He sets it on the bar and the little man in the tux starts playing a beautiful concerto.
Bartender says "Wow thats great! Is ol' Ned still having issues with his cyber ears?"
Larry say "Yeah! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"

[Critias]

Why do Trogs smell so bad?

So blind people can hate them, too!

[Cardul]

An elf, human, and ork walk into a bar...the dwarf steps over them...

[TeOdio]

Adapted this one from Gran Torino.
A trog, halfer, and tusker walk into a bar. The bartender says, "get the fuck outta here!"
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif)

[TeknoDragon]

A drake, a technomancer, and a ghoul walk into a bar.

The GM says, "Oh Hell No. I didn't approve those."

[BookWyrm]

Jesus saves.....somebody check those dice!

How many Lone Star officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Well, first you fill out the requisition to get the lightbulb from Supply.....

A human, a dwarf and an elf walk into a bar.....
The ork inside held the door closed.

[kanislatrans]

My GM decided to remove anything dumpshockers didn't like about Shadowrun...we are now playing a group of guys who gather up the carts in a walmart parking lot..... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif)

[Ol' Scratch]

My GM decided to remove anything dumpshockers didn't like about Shadowrun...we are now playing a group of guys who gather up the carts in a walmart parking lot..... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif)

I don't like that.

[Blade]

So post a couple. We can make a pass at understanding them.

Ok:
"What's a (meta)human with a yellow fur that smells like lemon? A victim of la GRUME." (The SURGE was translated to la GRIME ("se grimer" means "to disguise himself") and "agrume" is the French word for citrus)
" Two street samurais are paid by check. Le premier l'encaisse, le deuxième l'esquive." ("Encaisser" means "cash-in" as well as "take a blow")

Those are the most famous.

[Straight Razor]

The junior sarariman was assigned to Renraku's security staff induction centre, where he was to advise new recruits about their corporation life insurance policy, especially their Security Crew Revised Estimated Withholdings and Evaluated Dividends (SCREWED).

It wasn't long before the centre's security chief noticed that the sarariman had an almost perfect record for insurance sales, something which had never happened before. Rather than ask directly about this, the security chief stood in the back of the room and listened to the sarariman's sales pitch.

The sarariman explained the basics of SCREWED to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have the SCREWED policy and end up protecting Renraku in battle against shadowrunners and are killed, Renraku has to pay 200 k nuyen.gif to your beneficiaries. If you don't have this policy and are killed while protecting Renraku, our corporation only has to pay your beneficiaries a maximum of 6 k nuyen.gif .

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send against the shadowrunners first?"

i remember a better version of this joke.

[CanRay]

"What has eight legs, four arms, a dozen eyes, and venom dripping fangs?"

"I don't know... Hey, why are you running away?"
***
"So, I went to Chicago awhile back. It was a nice enough place, but terrible for picnics, the bugs were horrible."
***
"What do you get when the Johnson screws you in the end?"

"Business as usual."
***
"Ever hear of the Corp with good moral values? Nah, me neither."
***
"Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?"

"It was stapled to the Ork Punker's ear."
***
"What do you call eight Humanis members shot dead?"

"A good use of eight bullets."

[Neraph]

Ok:
"What's a (meta)human with a yellow fur that smells like lemon? A victim of la GRUME." (The SURGE was translated to la GRIME ("se grimer" means "to disguise himself") and "agrume" is the French word for citrus)
" Two street samurais are paid by check. Le premier l'encaisse, le deuxième l'esquive." ("Encaisser" means "cash-in" as well as "take a blow")

Those are the most famous.

Those really are funny.

[Stahlseele]

here's a bit to waste time with
http://griffjon.com/sr2/?latest

[Ryusukanku]

And the Brave Boys in Body Armor....



A Lone Star Offider pulls an Elf over and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the Elf over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"

The Elf gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

***********************************

A Lone Star Officer stops an Ork and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing corrective lenses."

The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."

The Officer replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

***********************************

As for this last one, Forgive me if I don't know any other law enforcement companies in Shadowrun other than Lone Star. For some reason they get all the press in our games.
If anyone knows any other groups feel free to suggest them. Thanks.



The Lone Star, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. Dunkelzahn, tired of the endless bragging and arguments, decides to give them a deciding test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

Lone Star goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten Troll. The Troll is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

[Ryusukanku]

Johnny was a 'Runner
But Johnny is no more.
What he thought was water
Was H2SO4

[Neraph]

As for this last one, Forgive me if I don't know any other law enforcement companies in Shadowrun other than Lone Star. For some reason they get all the press in our games.
If anyone knows any other groups feel free to suggest them. Thanks.

They're not really talked about too much, but Knight-Errant, an Ares subsidiary.

Ares specializes in law enforcement (Knight-Errant, one of the two biggest private security corps in the world, is a subsidiary)...

[McAllister]

Ryusukanku: Erm... there's Knight Errant, and ahm.... I don't know, local military forces? I think Knight Errant would be the ones to burn down the forest, we ARE talking about people who work for the corp that nuked Chicago.

[Tachi]

Uh, HardCore or HardCorp. Something like that.