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> Dwarf jokes, ...gimme, gimme, gimme
Machiavelli
post Jan 17 2010, 12:01 PM
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Yesterday we discovered once more that dwarfes are nothing more than perfect targets for jokes. So please, if you have experienced the same, give me your best jokes on them. I will start with one on my own:

- why do dwarfes always sit on the cargo area of a car instead on one of the seats? Because there are no baby seats for people with a body above 4.^^
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Cardul
post Jan 17 2010, 12:15 PM
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Make fun of dwarves all you want, but remember: short people hit lower...
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Machiavelli
post Jan 17 2010, 12:32 PM
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Do you know why so many dwarfes become hackers or technomancers?
- because they couldnīt do runs in heights above the 30th floor. The buttons of the elevator are too high. ^^
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hobgoblin
post Jan 17 2010, 12:49 PM
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"hey, did a half pint just walk in the door?" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
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hobgoblin
post Jan 17 2010, 12:50 PM
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QUOTE (Cardul @ Jan 17 2010, 01:15 PM) *
Make fun of dwarves all you want, but remember: short people hit lower...

bah, no self respecting runner leaves his safehouse without the proper protection in place (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

and if that fails, there is always cyber (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Stahlseele
post Jan 17 2010, 05:16 PM
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Dwarves sure come in handy, if you are short handed.
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lonewolf23k
post Jan 17 2010, 05:16 PM
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Here's something for the Dwarves..

A Human, an Elf and a Dwarf are sitting at a bar, when they decide to talk about their "performances" with their respective wives.

The Elf says, "I had sex three times with my wife last night. This morning, she made me a delicious pancake breakfast, and told me she loved me so much..."

The Human smirks. "That's nothing. I had sex five times with my wife last night. This morning, she slept in, told me she loved me, and that I should get breakfast from a drive-through."

The Dwarf just chuckles. "You think that's good? I had sex ONCE with my wife, last night!"

The other two just stare at him. "Just once? What did she tell you this morning?"

And the Dwarf has a dirty smirk as he answers, "Don't stop now, you bastard!"
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Draco18s
post Jan 17 2010, 05:19 PM
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I love how there's a visual gap on a slope in that thing (the double-space after the periods). Also, very funny.

Now:

Why are dwarves always lonely? Because short people got no body to love.
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Old_Man
post Jan 17 2010, 06:31 PM
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Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?!!" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!
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Acidsaliva
post Jan 17 2010, 08:08 PM
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From Terry Pratchett (one of my all time favourite authors)

*There is a old dwarf saying "All trees are felled at the same height".

The contemporary translation of this is "When your enemies arms are above your head, his crotch is level with your teeth".*
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Cardul
post Jan 18 2010, 08:01 AM
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QUOTE (hobgoblin @ Jan 17 2010, 08:50 AM) *
bah, no self respecting runner leaves his safehouse without the proper protection in place (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

and if that fails, there is always cyber (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Then, I guess you should hope the Dwarf is not a Street Sam (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
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Dakka Dakka
post Jan 18 2010, 09:33 AM
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QUOTE (Cardul @ Jan 18 2010, 09:01 AM) *
Then, I guess you should hope the Dwarf is not a Street Sam (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
Or a cybered unarmed adept
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The Jopp
post Jan 18 2010, 11:02 AM
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Usefulness of Dwarf Runners
- Fits through the Catdoor
- Have a concealability rating under the Trolls longcoat
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hobgoblin
post Jan 18 2010, 11:22 AM
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QUOTE (The Jopp @ Jan 18 2010, 12:02 PM) *
- Fits through the Catdoor

now thats a fat cat...
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The Jopp
post Jan 18 2010, 11:33 AM
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QUOTE (hobgoblin @ Jan 18 2010, 12:22 PM) *
now thats a fat cat...


Phisics - I defy them... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/grinbig.gif)
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hobgoblin
post Jan 18 2010, 11:36 AM
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someone call his isp and tell them to block anything lolcat related... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/silly.gif)
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Draco18s
post Jan 18 2010, 02:18 PM
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QUOTE (hobgoblin @ Jan 18 2010, 06:36 AM) *
someone call his isp and tell them to block anything lolcat related... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/silly.gif)


You mean like The Lolcat Bible?
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The Jopp
post Jan 18 2010, 02:28 PM
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QUOTE (Draco18s @ Jan 18 2010, 03:18 PM) *
You mean like The Lolcat Bible?


And my world just like....Asploded in kitties. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/twirl.gif)
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Draco18s
post Jan 18 2010, 03:37 PM
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QUOTE (The Jopp @ Jan 18 2010, 09:28 AM) *
And my world just like....Asploded in kitties. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/twirl.gif)


Hehe. Didn't already know about that one?
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Orcus Blackweath...
post Jan 18 2010, 07:43 PM
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OMG, Liek I Nevar heerd about LOLcats Bible!

I think I just took 5 stun from Dumpshock!

Kthxbai!
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