 Ordering Pizza in 2060, For the SINned, that is. |
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  Feb 15 2004, 09:55 PM
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#1
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Moving Target  Group: Members Posts: 302 Joined: 20-October 03 Member No.: 5,740  |
Operator:
Thank you for calling Pizza Shack. May I have your System Identification Number? Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order. Operator: May I have your SIN first, sir? Customer: My System ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610. Operator: Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's NA-UCAS/SEA-4942366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is NA-UCAS/SEA-7452302 and your cell number's NA-UCAS/SEA-2662566. Which number are you calling from, sir? Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information? Operator: We're wired into the system, sir. Customer: (sighs) Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir. Customer: What do you mean? Operator: Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your Corporate Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice. Customer: Darn. What do you recommend, then? Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like that. Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that? Operator: Well, you downloaded 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from the public library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion. Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is 50:nuyen: Customer: Just pull it off my credit balance. Operator: I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit balance is over its limit. Customer: CASH?! Who uses cash these days?! I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your account's overdrawn. Customer: Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take? Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes. If you're in a hurry, you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. Customer: How the heck do you know I'm riding a bike? Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. Customer: @#%/$@&?#! Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2056 conviction for cussing out a Lone Star officer. Customer: (speechless) Operator: Will there be anything else, sir? Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2-liter bottle of Coke. Operator: I'm sorry, sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics |
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Feb 15 2004, 10:39 PM
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#2
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 608 Joined: 9-July 02 From: California Member No.: 2,955 |
Heh.
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Feb 15 2004, 10:43 PM
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#3
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 402 Joined: 23-April 03 From: London, UK Member No.: 4,491 |
Let that transcript be a lesson to you! There's more stuff on a SIN than where you live!
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Feb 15 2004, 10:44 PM
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#4
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Manus Celer Dei Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 16,950 Joined: 30-December 02 From: Boston Member No.: 3,802 |
*Applause*
~J |
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Feb 15 2004, 10:44 PM
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#5
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 302 Joined: 20-October 03 Member No.: 5,740 |
I mean, you'd assume there would be. Think of all the stuff one can find out about a person just with their SSN today! |
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Feb 15 2004, 10:46 PM
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#6
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 302 Joined: 20-October 03 Member No.: 5,740 |
Oh, and I must admit, that's stolen from some other anonymous joke circulating, which I just modified into Shadowrun terms.
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Feb 15 2004, 11:19 PM
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#7
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Shooting Target Group: Members Posts: 1,512 Joined: 16-August 03 From: Northampton Member No.: 5,499 |
That is funny. actually im gonna copy and e-mail it to someone.
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Feb 16 2004, 12:56 AM
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#8
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Immoral Elf Group: Members Posts: 15,247 Joined: 29-March 02 From: Grimy Pete's Bar & Laundromat Member No.: 2,486 |
While that's true, Pizza Shack won't have access to it. At best, they'd be able to access various consumer information and spending patterns, as well as determine your ability to pay (but not your actual banking details). There is no way that they'd be able to get the details of your medical history or police record. There are various categories of information attached to a character's SIN. Some of it is accessable to a wide variety of people/corporations/etc., while other details are only made available to specific parties, such as Lone Star or appropriate medical personnel. |
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Feb 16 2004, 01:00 AM
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#9
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 749 Joined: 22-June 02 From: Parts Without Member No.: 2,897 |
Just mind you that when the pizza is okayed for delivery, it will be conducted to the orderer in a custom high-speed vehicle manned by a samurai sword weilding decker wiz followed by a guy on a bike with a nuke and a 14 year old girl with a hard to understand name.
Ain't the future great? |
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Feb 16 2004, 01:22 AM
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#10
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Manus Celer Dei Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 16,950 Joined: 30-December 02 From: Boston Member No.: 3,802 |
To paraphrase either Raygun or AK404: you have entered a Gibsonian zone. Please leave all Stephensonian items at the door.
~J |
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Feb 16 2004, 01:28 AM
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#11
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Immortal Elf Group: Members Posts: 11,410 Joined: 1-October 03 From: Pittsburgh Member No.: 5,670 |
hell with that. i take my gibsonian with a hearty dash of stephensonian--and sometimes vice-versa!
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Feb 16 2004, 02:40 AM
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#12
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Manus Celer Dei Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 16,950 Joined: 30-December 02 From: Boston Member No.: 3,802 |
I myself prefer Swanwickian with a healthy dose of Gibsonian, seasoned with Nietzsche to taste.
~J |
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Feb 16 2004, 02:47 AM
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#13
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 777 Joined: 18-February 03 Member No.: 4,110 |
Oh, that's sig worthy man! Too funny! |
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Feb 16 2004, 06:40 AM
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#14
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Target Group: Members Posts: 61 Joined: 2-February 04 From: Louisville, KY Member No.: 6,050 |
W. Gibson mixed with P. K. Dick renders a flavor I find most palatable. I can also recommend a little T. Sturgeon for those with discriminating taste. Especially "More than Human".
PS: I get the rest but who the f-ck are Swanwick and Stephenson. |
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Feb 16 2004, 06:59 AM
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#15
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Running Target Group: Members Posts: 1,028 Joined: 9-November 02 From: The Republic of Vermont Member No.: 3,581 |
Stephenson would be Neal Stephenson, author of Snow Crash, Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon, among other less relevant novels. Snow Crash is the source of the references in RangerJoe's post.
Swanwick I don't know, but Google suggests Michael Swanwick... Amazon lists a book with he and Bruce Sterling, so it seems likely. |
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Feb 16 2004, 09:12 AM
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#16
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 714 Joined: 26-February 02 From: .nl Member No.: 116 |
Awesome. Simply awesome. k1tsune, will you give me permission to post this on http://www.wiredreflexes.com?
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Feb 16 2004, 10:13 AM
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#17
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Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill. Group: Dumpshocked Posts: 6,545 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Gloomy Boise Idaho Member No.: 2,006 |
LOL. Beautiful, just beautiful.
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Feb 16 2004, 10:54 AM
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#18
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 156 Joined: 16-August 03 From: Santa Cruz Member No.: 5,500 |
That damn right,in shadowrun you'll have characters with no hope of beating NPCs,getting help by other NPCs.You will get the heros of your story to be backed by people,who wind up doing all the work,leading players to wounder,why bother?Further more,why would the uberly power bakers waste their time on dienablle assets, if they leave paper trails?...
Gibson,the greatest...Um No. Gimme,some Stevies.Give me sword welding hackers,with religous lovers.Give a hero,that is a dying bread,that is doing what he thinks is right.Give me bad guys who,think they are making the world a better place.Give me female characters,that aren't men with boobs.I demand,that characters use weapons for partical reasons,and still be cool.I demand that anything that is worthless,in practical means,but looks cool not be used in practical ways.But mostly I demand a setting in witch one of the biggest deal is computer,have an authur, who at least can prove he knows how to work one! |
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Feb 16 2004, 10:58 AM
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#19
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 714 Joined: 26-February 02 From: .nl Member No.: 116 |
Give me a space after a "," or "." or "?" or "!"
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Feb 16 2004, 01:51 PM
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#20
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 302 Joined: 20-October 03 Member No.: 5,740 |
Sure, steal at will. All I did was modify a joke I found into SR terms.
Swanwick is Michael Swanwick. I agree. Swanwick=yummy. <edit>And on a side note, wiredreflexes is a beautiful site. Kudos. If only I had the time/persistance to make something pretty for my group. |
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Feb 16 2004, 02:16 PM
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#21
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 400 Joined: 26-February 02 Member No.: 825 |
And a few less of the ",". |
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Feb 16 2004, 03:54 PM
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#22
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 714 Joined: 26-February 02 From: .nl Member No.: 116 |
Ah, cool. If you want me to put up a link to your page, or your email address, let me know. Ordering Pizza in 2060 @ wRx
Thanks. I appreciate it. :) |
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Feb 16 2004, 04:34 PM
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#23
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 777 Joined: 18-February 03 Member No.: 4,110 |
Hey Fox, I was reading your character description, on the same site that hosts the Run From Hell. I gotta say, I love what you came up with. Her "Deck," with Linux is too precious. Awesome, awesome character. BTW: Are you a fan of that old cartoon Gargoyles? |
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Feb 16 2004, 04:50 PM
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#24
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Moving Target Group: Members Posts: 392 Joined: 26-February 02 From: Hamburg, Germany Member No.: 1,270 |
A dying bread? Cool! Now that's innovative. Never have seen a bread that's alive, let alone dying! :rotfl: Sorry, just had to. :oops: |
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Feb 16 2004, 05:37 PM
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#25
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Dragon Group: Members Posts: 4,065 Joined: 16-January 03 From: Fayetteville, NC Member No.: 3,916 |
The bread might not have been heroic, but it did rise to the occasion. It was the yeast it could do. -Siege |
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