Operator:
Thank you for calling Pizza Shack. May I have your System Identification Number?

Customer:
Hi, I'd like to place an order.

Operator:
May I have your SIN first, sir?

Customer:
My System ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.

Operator:
Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's NA-UCAS/SEA-4942366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is NA-UCAS/SEA-7452302 and your cell number's NA-UCAS/SEA-2662566. Which number are you calling from, sir?

Customer:
Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?

Operator:
We're wired into the system, sir.

Customer:
(sighs) Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.

Operator:
I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

Customer:
What do you mean?

Operator:
Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your Corporate Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

Customer:
Darn. What do you recommend, then?

Operator:
You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like that.

Customer:
What makes you think I'd like something like that?

Operator:
Well, you downloaded 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from the public library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

Customer:
All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

Operator:
That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is 50:nuyen:

Customer:
Just pull it off my credit balance.

Operator:
I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit balance is over its limit.

Customer:
CASH?! Who uses cash these days?! I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.

Operator:
That won't work either, sir. Your account's overdrawn.

Customer:
Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?

Operator:
We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes. If you're in a hurry, you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

Customer:
How the heck do you know I'm riding a bike?

Operator:
It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed.

Customer:
@#%/$@&?#!

Operator:
I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2056 conviction for cussing out a Lone Star officer.

Customer:
(speechless)

Operator:
Will there be anything else, sir?

Customer:
Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2-liter bottle of Coke.

Operator:
I'm sorry, sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics

Heh.

Let that transcript be a lesson to you! There's more stuff on a SIN than where you live!

*Applause*

~J

Oh, and I must admit, that's stolen from some other anonymous joke circulating, which I just modified into Shadowrun terms.

That is funny. actually im gonna copy and e-mail it to someone.

Just mind you that when the pizza is okayed for delivery, it will be conducted to the orderer in a custom high-speed vehicle manned by a samurai sword weilding decker wiz followed by a guy on a bike with a nuke and a 14 year old girl with a hard to understand name.

Ain't the future great?

To paraphrase either Raygun or AK404: you have entered a Gibsonian zone. Please leave all Stephensonian items at the door.

~J

hell with that. i take my gibsonian with a hearty dash of stephensonian--and sometimes vice-versa!

I myself prefer Swanwickian with a healthy dose of Gibsonian, seasoned with Nietzsche to taste.

~J

W. Gibson mixed with P. K. Dick renders a flavor I find most palatable. I can also recommend a little T. Sturgeon for those with discriminating taste. Especially "More than Human".

PS: I get the rest but who the f-ck are Swanwick and Stephenson.

Stephenson would be Neal Stephenson, author of Snow Crash, Diamond Age, and Cryptonomicon, among other less relevant novels. Snow Crash is the source of the references in RangerJoe's post.

Swanwick I don't know, but Google suggests Michael Swanwick... Amazon lists a book with he and Bruce Sterling, so it seems likely.

Awesome. Simply awesome. k1tsune, will you give me permission to post this on http://www.wiredreflexes.com?

LOL. Beautiful, just beautiful.

That damn right,in shadowrun you'll have characters with no hope of beating NPCs,getting help by other NPCs.You will get the heros of your story to be backed by people,who wind up doing all the work,leading players to wounder,why bother?Further more,why would the uberly power bakers waste their time on dienablle assets, if they leave paper trails?...

Gibson,the greatest...Um No.

Gimme,some Stevies.Give me sword welding hackers,with religous lovers.Give a hero,that is a dying bread,that is doing what he thinks is right.Give me bad guys who,think they are making the world a better place.Give me female characters,that aren't men with boobs.I demand,that characters use weapons for partical reasons,and still be cool.I demand that anything that is worthless,in practical means,but looks cool not be used in practical ways.But mostly I demand a setting in witch one of the biggest deal is computer,have an authur, who at least can prove he knows how to work one!

Give me a space after a "," or "." or "?" or "!"

Sure, steal at will. All I did was modify a joke I found into SR terms.

Swanwick is Michael Swanwick. I agree. Swanwick=yummy.

<edit>And on a side note, wiredreflexes is a beautiful site. Kudos. If only I had the time/persistance to make something pretty for my group.

Must... control... fist of death....

GRR.

That's her right eye. And Kitsune's is triangular. And stuff. That's creepy.
*crawls off*

*cowers in acorner trying to hide from the puns* *whimper*

I'd say we all chipped in -- I certainly wouldn't take the dip by myself.

You might say all the humor is flour-ishing.

-Siege