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> How many schlongs can fit on a character?, This is seriously baking my noodle.
ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 09:01 PM
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Okay, so, in an IRC conversation, the concept of Mr. Dicks came up. I did some quick maths, came up with the number of 101, and someone said he thought that the number was over 200. So I threw all sense of fiscal responsibility out the window.

Take a male character (that's one penis,)
Give him the Cybertaker positive quality (-10% Essence cost.)
Give him EPE Adapsin before any other augmentations (-10% Essence cost.)
Give him two Deltaware Obvious Full Cyberlimbs, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 19x2)
Give him two Deltaware Obvious Full Cyberlegs, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 24x2)
Give him a Deltaware Obvious Cybertorso, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 14)
Give him a Deltaware Obvious Cyberskull, Bulky (rating 2) (Capacity 6)
Between Delta, Adapsin and Cybertaker, this guy has spent 1.88 Essence on Cyber, and 0.2 Essence on EPE Adapsin. He has 106 Capacity distributed head-to-toe, all of which is spent on Penile Implants.
He has 4.02 Essence remaining, allowing him to fit 50 additional Deltaware Penile Implants, at an essence cost of 0.08 each; 4 total, leaving him with a total Essence remaining of 0.02.
Thus he has 1 (natural) + 106 (Capacity) + 50 (Essence) = 157 penises. I don't think it's possible to get any more on a character, and he already costs 5,620,000 (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) .

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Tanegar
post Aug 5 2013, 09:05 PM
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OH GOD, WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 09:06 PM
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QUOTE (Tanegar @ Aug 5 2013, 05:05 PM) *
OH GOD, WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!


Because you have more nuyen than God, a desire to horrifically and permanently traumatize a crack team of Deltaware Clinic cybersurgeons, and a desire to enter the live-action hentai sim business.
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Lionhearted
post Aug 5 2013, 09:12 PM
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Call me desensitized... But could you weaponize this well endowned... thing?
Come to think of it, nevermind the puns would be to much...
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 09:21 PM
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Actually, I screwed the pooch.

Take a male Nartaki.
Give him the Cybertaker positive quality (-10% Essence cost.)
Give him EPE Adapsin before any other augmentations (-10% Essence cost.)
Give him four Deltaware Obvious Full Cyberarms, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 19x4)
Give him two Deltaware Obvious Full Cyberlegs, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 24x2)
Give him a Deltaware Obvious Cybertorso, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 14)
Give him a Deltaware Obvious Cyberskull, Bulky (rating 2) (Capacity 6)
Between Delta, Adapsin and Cybertaker, this guy has spent 2.48 Essence on Cyber, and 0.2(/2) Essence on EPE Adapsin. He has 144 Capacity distributed head-to-toe, all of which is spent on Penile Implants.
He has 4.02 Essence remaining, allowing him to fit 42 additional Deltaware Penile Implants, at an essence cost of 0.08 each; 3.36 total, leaving him with a total Essence remaining of 0.06.
Thus he has 1 (natural) + 144 (Capacity) + 42 (Essence) = 187 penises. He now costs 7,110,000 (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) .
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Bearclaw
post Aug 5 2013, 09:30 PM
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He said "noodle" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
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Mantis
post Aug 5 2013, 09:30 PM
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You have waaaaaaaay too much time on your hands.
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Sendaz
post Aug 5 2013, 09:31 PM
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QUOTE (Mantis @ Aug 5 2013, 04:30 PM) *
You have waaaaaaaay too much time on your hands.

That's not time on his hands....


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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 09:32 PM
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Okay, full-on down the rabbit hole, mind-bending, rules-lawyering time.

I realized that there wasn't any rule stating that you could only put a cyberlimb where there was a regular limb before... So...

EPE Adapsin, Cybertaker.
42 Deltaware Lower Legs, Bulky rating 4 (42x16 Capacity): 5.88 Essence.
EPE Adapsin: 0.1 Essence.
Penises: 1 (Natural) + 672 (Capacity) = 673

Total cost: 24,390,000 (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) , 100 SAN
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Stahlseele
post Aug 5 2013, 09:35 PM
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QUOTE (Tanegar @ Aug 5 2013, 11:05 PM) *
OH GOD, WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!

so i'm guessing you did not get the memo when we did this months ago then? ^^
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Jaid
post Aug 5 2013, 09:36 PM
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QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685 @ Aug 5 2013, 04:01 PM) *
Okay, so, in an IRC conversation, the concept of Mr. Dicks came up. I did some quick maths, came up with the number of 101, and someone said he thought that the number was over 200. So I threw all sense of fiscal responsibility out the window.

Take a male character (that's one penis,)
Give him the Cybertaker positive quality (-10% Essence cost.)
Give him EPE Adapsin before any other augmentations (-10% Essence cost.)
Give him two Deltaware Obvious Full Cyberlimbs, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 19x2)
Give him two Deltaware Obvious Full Cyberlegs, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 24x2)
Give him a Deltaware Obvious Cybertorso, Bulky (rating 4) (Capacity 14)
Give him a Deltaware Obvious Cyberskull, Bulky (rating 2) (Capacity 6)
Between Delta, Adapsin and Cybertaker, this guy has spent 1.88 Essence on Cyber, and 0.2 Essence on EPE Adapsin. He has 106 Capacity distributed head-to-toe, all of which is spent on Penile Implants.
He has 4.02 Essence remaining, allowing him to fit 50 additional Deltaware Penile Implants, at an essence cost of 0.08 each; 4 total, leaving him with a total Essence remaining of 0.02.
Thus he has 1 (natural) + 106 (Capacity) + 50 (Essence) = 157 penises. I don't think it's possible to get any more on a character, and he already costs 5,620,000 (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nuyen.gif) .


you forgot to give him shiva arms. and a cybernetic balance tail.
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Mäx
post Aug 5 2013, 10:05 PM
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QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685 @ Aug 6 2013, 12:01 AM) *
He has 4.02 Essence remaining, allowing him to fit 50 additional Deltaware Penile Implants, at an essence cost of 0.08 each

I'm not sure i want to know, but where are these ones going, as you can't install stuff that cost essence in cyberlimbs.
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Cynewulf
post Aug 5 2013, 10:26 PM
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You have created a Shoggoth of Dicks, a creature that could traumatise even Cyberzombies. I applaud you.

I can imagine this 'thing' shambling into a crowded mall, ripping off it's oversized trenchcoat, and pumping DMSO out of it's multitude of appendages (since the rules state each implant is fully functional). It would be like the original ending of Watchmen.
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 10:44 PM
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QUOTE (Mäx @ Aug 5 2013, 05:05 PM) *
I'm not sure i want to know, but where are these ones going, as you can't install stuff that cost essence in cyberlimbs.


Don't ask!

You don't want to know.

QUOTE (Cynewulf @ Aug 5 2013, 05:26 PM) *
You have created a Shoggoth out of dicks, a creature that could traumatise even Cyberzombies. I applaud you.

I can imagine this 'thing' shambling into a crowded mall, ripping off it's oversized trenchcoat, and pumping DMSO out of it's multitude of appendages (since the rules state each implant is fully functional). It would be like the original ending of Watchmen.


A Shoggoth of Dicks. I like that. Nice one.
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Lionhearted
post Aug 5 2013, 10:59 PM
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QUOTE (Cynewulf @ Aug 6 2013, 12:26 AM) *
Cyberzombies.

That would open up endless possibilities now wouldn't it?
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 11:18 PM
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QUOTE (Lionhearted @ Aug 5 2013, 06:59 PM) *
That would open up endless possibilities now wouldn't it?


Literally as endless as you feel like manufacturing delta-grade lower cyberlegs full of 16 penises each.

Though, if you're going the CZ route, you want to lose as much Essence as possible, as fast as possible, so whole cyberlegs would probably be better.
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Sendaz
post Aug 5 2013, 11:19 PM
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QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685 @ Aug 5 2013, 07:18 PM) *
Literally as endless as you feel like manufacturing delta-grade lower cyberlegs full of 16 penises each.

Though, if you're going the CZ route, you want to lose as much Essence as possible, as fast as possible, so whole cyberlegs would probably be better.

The Human Centipenis?
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 11:20 PM
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QUOTE (Sendaz @ Aug 5 2013, 06:19 PM) *
The Human Centipenis?


Who needs the Horrors? We're perfectly capable of manufacturing something that will drive people insane. We can build it. We have the technology.
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Sendaz
post Aug 5 2013, 11:22 PM
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QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685 @ Aug 5 2013, 06:20 PM) *
Who needs the Horrors? We're perfectly capable of manufacturing something that will drive people insane. We can build it. We have the technology.

Actually when the Horrors show up we might just throw this at them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif)

They might just decide to find a more friendly/sane environment. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

It would sort of be the porn version of the old Blood Elves with their Thorns.
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 5 2013, 11:25 PM
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QUOTE (Sendaz @ Aug 5 2013, 06:22 PM) *
Actually when the Horrors show up we might just throw this at them. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nyahnyah.gif)

They might just decide to find a more friendly/sane environment. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)


Horrors: OH GOD! IT'S FULL OF PENIS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
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Sendaz
post Aug 5 2013, 11:36 PM
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QUOTE (ShadowDragon8685 @ Aug 5 2013, 06:25 PM) *
Horrors: OH GOD! IT'S FULL OF PENIS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Honestly the only way it could get worse is if we made each implant into a launchable drone with some sort of flight capability.
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toturi
post Aug 5 2013, 11:48 PM
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What is the plural of penis?
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ShadowDragon8685
post Aug 6 2013, 12:35 AM
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QUOTE (toturi @ Aug 5 2013, 06:48 PM) *
What is the plural of penis?


Penii.
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Vegetaman
post Aug 6 2013, 12:43 AM
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This topic just cracks me up. Wow.
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FuelDrop
post Aug 6 2013, 12:57 AM
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This is just wrong on so many levels...

Hey, if you take biocompatibility (cyber), way of the burnout (bio), then [can't remember what it was called from way of the samurai] (cyber), would that work? Could get some more penises (Penii) squeezed on!

EDIT: Oh man I should have said that this will be 'Hard' to top. After all, with something like this inviting bad puns it's either laugh or cry, right? Pass the brain bleach.

EDIT EDIT: Could you do a human centipede thing with wires so that all the bodies are controlled by one brain (and probably an altered digestive tract for long-term survival)? I bet you could do a LOT with +- 18 essence...
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