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[Fire Hawk]

I know it's been ages since I've been by, but then, I've been busy. :)

I thought I'd share a few quotes from some of the gaming sessions I've been involved in, and encourage others to share their experiences, as well.

btw, I missed you guys.


---Shadowrun--

"Can I make an Intelligence roll to figure out if they're d**king me?"
- Nezeroth, as the CAS version of LoneStar had detained him, in response to their "negotiation" offer

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm tired. I came up with two good one-liners; I'm done."
- Seamus (a.k.a Fire Hawk), co-GM'ing an SR session after successfully pulling off the "dead Rigger Storage" reference

"Hey, Seamus! What's the ghoul virus again?"
"HMHVOH, F**K!"
- Seamus and James, discussing plausible Narcoject compounds

"Daisy-eater isn't an elf-boy?!"
- James, in-character, upon discovering that Robs' character is, indeed, not an elf

"Seamus, I seduce the table!"
"It's an inanimate object, James."
"I'm gonna do it anyway!"
"O-k-a-y. Roll."
*James rolls 6,6,6,5,6*
*Seamus' jaw meets floor*
"The table is no match for your wit, and wily charm."
- James (playing a sim-pornstar), during a lull in a session I GM'd

I've got a few from other games, but I can't find them, at the moment.

[Artemus]

"Can I keep the dwarf sex tape?"

After a player of mine successfully rolled a 24 on his charisma test and seduced the hot dwarf.

[FrostyNSO]

"We'll freeze the head. An ice chest!"

[Joker9125]

"I'M A SHAMAN!!!!!!!"
An OOC response from a new player when we asked him if he was human. It went on for an hour before he understood that shaman wasnt a race.

"Im going to attack the ghoul with my oral slasher"
Different guy than the shaman but still funny

I love my group their is just never a dull moment in or out of character :)

[Kremlin KOA]

"What do we need guns for?" Combat mage, on his last ever run

[Catsnightmare]

"HOLY S**T"
Uttered by player, PC and NPC alike after seeing Brick (my bod 10 human physad) stage down to nothing damage from everything from Ruger Thunderbot bursts, shotgun blasts, being hit by cars, MMG Gel round bursts, taser shots, and up to and including being set completely head to toe on fire and all his ammunition blowing up on him.

[Kagetenshi]

Long night trying to steal a heavily-protected prototype car. There's an unguarded vehicle pool nearby. Eventually the Rigger suggests just stealing a car and escaping. The Southern semirigger's response?

"I'm stealing a car, all right. I'm stealing that car!"

~J

[Krieger]

From tonight's session: "How much damage does a bag full of heads do?"

I think it's better without any explanation.

[Sandoval Smith]

Oh yeah, it's like the bag of kinks bombs my dad kept under his operating table.

[Backgammon]

"This country sucks"
Theo the samurai, after a run involving hordes of Loup-Garou in polluted Tsimshian

"How bout we ask for some help from the Red *SLAP* Samu- *SLAP* -rai *SLAP SLAP SLAP*
Sticks the Renraku Rigger being slapped by Tanaka the Team leader for suggesting that the team ask for Red Samurai help (They are Renraku Spec Op team)

Blue - "Shhh, be quiet, we don't want any casualties and we don't want to raise the alarm"
GM - Ok, the doctor notices your presence, and after a hesiation heads for an alarm swich on the wall
Samurai - "I shoot him"
Blue - "No!"
Samurai - "Oh, right. I shoot him in the lungs, that way he can't scream"

Theo : "How much we gettin' paid for this?"
Tanaka Team Leader : "For the last time, we DON'T get paid extra!"
(Tanaka, explaining to Theo every damn mission that they don't get paid per mission)

Theo : "TEAM LEADER IS DOWN! Finally, I'M in charge!!!"
Theo : ...
Theo : "Team leader, what do we do...?"

[Chance359]

A classic:

"Spells?!?!? I have spells?"
New player trying out a shaman.

[Ed Simons]

Fourth game session:

Rigger - "You have horns?"

Other PCs - "What?"

Green-skinned Elf Sammie - "What, you didn't know? It's right there on the character sheet."

Rigger - "That's like saying 'My character never wears pants. What, you didn't know? It's right there on the character sheet.'"

We only found out about the fangs and the tail after the character was gone.

[Backgammon]

Ah, another one (I love quotes):

"Crackerjack, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!"
(Tanaka panicking after Crackerjack blew up a chunk of concrete wall, put on his gas mask and forgot to turn off Ultrasound vision, thus giving the impression they were burried alive due to the US waves boucing back after travelling an inch.)

[Kagetenshi]

"What do you all have with you?"

"I've got my katana and assault rifle."

"Didn't you take the bus to the meet?"

"...Maybe..."

~J

[heliocentric]

"My name is Gorka-Morka"
Gorka-Morka the ELVEN decker.

"I'll use a tampon to stop the bleeding"
Candy, upon discovoring no one packed a first aid kit for this run (This was in reference to a gunshot wound, sickos).

"He's 15? I'll seduce him."
The French Teacher, an honest to god french teacher turned radical anti-corp activist.

"Really, it killed him? What will happen if I slot it?"
Gorka-Morka upon discovering a friend using 2XS.

"I'm gonna take a !@$& in the middle of his living room. No, wait, I'll hide it in his fridge!"
Leone, Mafia fixer (The less said about him the better).

[Botch]

P-"What do you mean 2 karma!"
GM-"Everybody died"
P-"That was what the run was about."
GM-"Your entire team is dead."
P-"There was more of the bad guys."
GM-"It isn't a football match, you can't win on points."

[Adarael]

"Yeah... It'll be like the Chinese version of Zorro. Freedom Cowboy, righting wrongs, tellin' a moral story to kids every episode!"
'What kind of morals would he share? He's a hit man!'
"His moral would always be 'Fuck the gwailo!'"
-Dr. Hong Kong, Simsense producer, to Bulgari, freelance sadist and lawyer, during our Triad game set in Hong Kong.

"I'd sleep with ya, baby, but then I'd have to kill you and eat you..."
-Freedom Cowboy, Triad hit man, Simsense star, Spider Shaman.

"How much do you cost?"
-Atkinson, Hermetic Mage, to a Yakuza thug, shortly before shooting him and throwing down 5000 yen to 'pay for clone he just ventilated.'

"I either need to sue a very rich man, or torture a hooker to death. I can't decide."
-Bulgari, Triad Lawyer.

"Why is it that I can be shot by a missile and be fine, but one guy with finger razors and I get all antsy?"
-Atkinson, eyeballing a wired-to-hell street brawler.

[Axe]

Mine's the same situation as Kagetenshi's

"Ok, I pull out my ingram valiant"
"... so you rode the bus and came into the bar with an LMG?"
"Yeah. Oh and my Ares Antioch"
(this was the first session with players who had only played D&D, these were the only 2 weapons he had)

Also, regarding The French Teacher, did you get that name from this movie?

[SilverWolf_assas...]

Imagine this in a brilliant Australian accent.
"OK, we need a rape victim (looks at only female player)"
Riddle after immerging from planning his "distraction".

Honnon: "Is he hurt?"
Riddle: "Well, he is bleeding from his hole"
Honnon: "HOLE!!??"
Riddle: "Hey, I shot em with a gel round"
Honnon: "He is dead, how close were you?"
Riddle: "Well, the silencer adds about 4 inches."

Riddle and Honnon, the Bear Shaman, after the pistol adept nails a random sleeping troll.

[Arz]

[After checking the sewer grate in the basement of their squat]

Ernest: Damn ghouls popped the lock again. (Starts stacking refrigerators on the grate, again)

Gateway: Anyone smell dryer sheets.

Ernest: We have ghouls doing laundry in our basement. We need a new squat.

[Later ...Ernest hears a loud crash while in the shower and steps out to look]
[Sees two Jaguar guards standing over a troll. Who quickly turn and run]

8Henry: Put something on, your scaring the guests.

[Garland]

Seamus: <on cell phone> "Hey Frank, I'm calling from a box of frozen chickens in the Big Easy!"

Seamus couldn't resist calling his friend while sneaking on board a ship in New Orleans.

[spotlite]

"You forget to get the shotguns?"
"They weren't on the list..."
Team members trying to execute an otherwise perfectly orchestrated patsy setup on discovering that the one thing they were depending on no-one had thought to get. How, as a GM, I chortled.


"Look, if God had meant me to fly, he'd have given me a JET FIGHTER, wouldn't he?!"
Skidmark the landophile rigger.


Team mage: "OK so you've worked out how to destroy the big land stripper. But you've forgotten something - we still need to get the people out, don't we?!
Rest of team in unison: pause... "BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAH!" followed by hysterical laughter for more than a few minutes.
Just couldn't get their heads round the idea at all.

[psyberian]

"Ok Frank, grab the egg".

This said to Frank, our resident gun guy after Simon Drake, a professional thief of mine managed to open the glass case in a museum to get a piece of art that happened to be a mega powerful magical focus of some kind that would fuck with your head without setting off the alarm. Oh, and there was the pressure sensitive trap under it. Did I mention that it was right accross the street from a mega corp seattle headquarters?

And never the two words a shadowrunner should NEVER utter. what?, huh?

[Cynic project]

A team with four people one of them being a Troll bouncer type who is more horny than we..really horny, and a human shaman.

"Okay, we have five "Cats" who need to eat a lot of meat, does anyone know where we will get any?I mean it......"

The troll runs to the room with the cats,and well.They were cats in the terms of tiger merged with bugs.The troll lived, but only because of hit thick skull...


"I have one big $^@ hand gun, with four clips.In these clips there things like salt rounds that will make you unhappy,too things like dumb dumb rounds witch from my tests will make most people wish they hadn't woken up today.So the ball is in your court, do you want to go out of here with a few love taps, or do you want to go away in a bag?Now tell me why you set me up two years ago?"

It was for a parking ticket...

[Ecclesiastes]

My first time playing Shadowrun I was doing a typical Troll Meathead. We're on the roof of a building and a Chopper flys up with guys inside, guns blazing. What do I do? Shot back? Heck no. I leap from the building, into the chopper and kill everyone inside. Then the GM says.... "Everyone is dead including the pilot. Do you know how to fly a chopper?"

Oops.