I know it's been ages since I've been by, but then, I've been busy.

I thought I'd share a few quotes from some of the gaming sessions I've been involved in, and encourage others to share their experiences, as well.

btw, I missed you guys.


---Shadowrun--

"Can I make an Intelligence roll to figure out if they're d**king me?"
- Nezeroth, as the CAS version of LoneStar had detained him, in response to their "negotiation" offer

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm tired. I came up with two good one-liners; I'm done."
- Seamus (a.k.a Fire Hawk), co-GM'ing an SR session after successfully pulling off the "dead Rigger Storage" reference

"Hey, Seamus! What's the ghoul virus again?"
"HMHVOH, F**K!"
- Seamus and James, discussing plausible Narcoject compounds

"Daisy-eater isn't an elf-boy?!"
- James, in-character, upon discovering that Robs' character is, indeed, not an elf

"Seamus, I seduce the table!"
"It's an inanimate object, James."
"I'm gonna do it anyway!"
"O-k-a-y. Roll."
*James rolls 6,6,6,5,6*
*Seamus' jaw meets floor*
"The table is no match for your wit, and wily charm."
- James (playing a sim-pornstar), during a lull in a session I GM'd

I've got a few from other games, but I can't find them, at the moment.

"Can I keep the dwarf sex tape?"

After a player of mine successfully rolled a 24 on his charisma test and seduced the hot dwarf.

"We'll freeze the head. An ice chest!"

"I'M A SHAMAN!!!!!!!"
An OOC response from a new player when we asked him if he was human. It went on for an hour before he understood that shaman wasnt a race.

"Im going to attack the ghoul with my oral slasher"
Different guy than the shaman but still funny

I love my group their is just never a dull moment in or out of character

"What do we need guns for?" Combat mage, on his last ever run

"HOLY S**T"
Uttered by player, PC and NPC alike after seeing Brick (my bod 10 human physad) stage down to nothing damage from everything from Ruger Thunderbot bursts, shotgun blasts, being hit by cars, MMG Gel round bursts, taser shots, and up to and including being set completely head to toe on fire and all his ammunition blowing up on him.

Long night trying to steal a heavily-protected prototype car. There's an unguarded vehicle pool nearby. Eventually the Rigger suggests just stealing a car and escaping. The Southern semirigger's response?

"I'm stealing a car, all right. I'm stealing that car!"

~J

From tonight's session: "How much damage does a bag full of heads do?"

I think it's better without any explanation.

Oh yeah, it's like the bag of kinks bombs my dad kept under his operating table.

"This country sucks"
Theo the samurai, after a run involving hordes of Loup-Garou in polluted Tsimshian

"How bout we ask for some help from the Red *SLAP* Samu- *SLAP* -rai *SLAP SLAP SLAP*
Sticks the Renraku Rigger being slapped by Tanaka the Team leader for suggesting that the team ask for Red Samurai help (They are Renraku Spec Op team)

Blue - "Shhh, be quiet, we don't want any casualties and we don't want to raise the alarm"
GM - Ok, the doctor notices your presence, and after a hesiation heads for an alarm swich on the wall
Samurai - "I shoot him"
Blue - "No!"
Samurai - "Oh, right. I shoot him in the lungs, that way he can't scream"

Theo : "How much we gettin' paid for this?"
Tanaka Team Leader : "For the last time, we DON'T get paid extra!"
(Tanaka, explaining to Theo every damn mission that they don't get paid per mission)

Theo : "TEAM LEADER IS DOWN! Finally, I'M in charge!!!"
Theo : ...
Theo : "Team leader, what do we do...?"

A classic:

"Spells?!?!? I have spells?"
New player trying out a shaman.

Fourth game session:

Rigger - "You have horns?"

Other PCs - "What?"

Green-skinned Elf Sammie - "What, you didn't know? It's right there on the character sheet."

Rigger - "That's like saying 'My character never wears pants. What, you didn't know? It's right there on the character sheet.'"

We only found out about the fangs and the tail after the character was gone.

Ah, another one (I love quotes):

"Crackerjack, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!"
(Tanaka panicking after Crackerjack blew up a chunk of concrete wall, put on his gas mask and forgot to turn off Ultrasound vision, thus giving the impression they were burried alive due to the US waves boucing back after travelling an inch.)

"What do you all have with you?"

"I've got my katana and assault rifle."

"Didn't you take the bus to the meet?"

"...Maybe..."

~J

"My name is Gorka-Morka"
Gorka-Morka the ELVEN decker.

"I'll use a tampon to stop the bleeding"
Candy, upon discovoring no one packed a first aid kit for this run (This was in reference to a gunshot wound, sickos).

"He's 15? I'll seduce him."
The French Teacher, an honest to god french teacher turned radical anti-corp activist.

"Really, it killed him? What will happen if I slot it?"
Gorka-Morka upon discovering a friend using 2XS.

"I'm gonna take a !@$& in the middle of his living room. No, wait, I'll hide it in his fridge!"
Leone, Mafia fixer (The less said about him the better).

P-"What do you mean 2 karma!"
GM-"Everybody died"
P-"That was what the run was about."
GM-"Your entire team is dead."
P-"There was more of the bad guys."
GM-"It isn't a football match, you can't win on points."

"Yeah... It'll be like the Chinese version of Zorro. Freedom Cowboy, righting wrongs, tellin' a moral story to kids every episode!"
'What kind of morals would he share? He's a hit man!'
"His moral would always be 'Fuck the gwailo!'"
-Dr. Hong Kong, Simsense producer, to Bulgari, freelance sadist and lawyer, during our Triad game set in Hong Kong.

"I'd sleep with ya, baby, but then I'd have to kill you and eat you..."
-Freedom Cowboy, Triad hit man, Simsense star, Spider Shaman.

"How much do you cost?"
-Atkinson, Hermetic Mage, to a Yakuza thug, shortly before shooting him and throwing down 5000 yen to 'pay for clone he just ventilated.'

"I either need to sue a very rich man, or torture a hooker to death. I can't decide."
-Bulgari, Triad Lawyer.

"Why is it that I can be shot by a missile and be fine, but one guy with finger razors and I get all antsy?"
-Atkinson, eyeballing a wired-to-hell street brawler.

Mine's the same situation as Kagetenshi's

"Ok, I pull out my ingram valiant"
"... so you rode the bus and came into the bar with an LMG?"
"Yeah. Oh and my Ares Antioch"
(this was the first session with players who had only played D&D, these were the only 2 weapons he had)

Also, regarding The French Teacher, did you get that name from this movie?

Imagine this in a brilliant Australian accent.
"OK, we need a rape victim (looks at only female player)"
Riddle after immerging from planning his "distraction".

Honnon: "Is he hurt?"
Riddle: "Well, he is bleeding from his hole"
Honnon: "HOLE!!??"
Riddle: "Hey, I shot em with a gel round"
Honnon: "He is dead, how close were you?"
Riddle: "Well, the silencer adds about 4 inches."

Riddle and Honnon, the Bear Shaman, after the pistol adept nails a random sleeping troll.

[After checking the sewer grate in the basement of their squat]

Ernest: Damn ghouls popped the lock again. (Starts stacking refrigerators on the grate, again)

Gateway: Anyone smell dryer sheets.

Ernest: We have ghouls doing laundry in our basement. We need a new squat.

[Later ...Ernest hears a loud crash while in the shower and steps out to look]
[Sees two Jaguar guards standing over a troll. Who quickly turn and run]

8Henry: Put something on, your scaring the guests.

Seamus: <on cell phone> "Hey Frank, I'm calling from a box of frozen chickens in the Big Easy!"

Seamus couldn't resist calling his friend while sneaking on board a ship in New Orleans.

"You forget to get the shotguns?"
"They weren't on the list..."
Team members trying to execute an otherwise perfectly orchestrated patsy setup on discovering that the one thing they were depending on no-one had thought to get. How, as a GM, I chortled.


"Look, if God had meant me to fly, he'd have given me a JET FIGHTER, wouldn't he?!"
Skidmark the landophile rigger.


Team mage: "OK so you've worked out how to destroy the big land stripper. But you've forgotten something - we still need to get the people out, don't we?!
Rest of team in unison: pause... "BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAH!" followed by hysterical laughter for more than a few minutes.
Just couldn't get their heads round the idea at all.

"Ok Frank, grab the egg".

This said to Frank, our resident gun guy after Simon Drake, a professional thief of mine managed to open the glass case in a museum to get a piece of art that happened to be a mega powerful magical focus of some kind that would fuck with your head without setting off the alarm. Oh, and there was the pressure sensitive trap under it. Did I mention that it was right accross the street from a mega corp seattle headquarters?

And never the two words a shadowrunner should NEVER utter. what?, huh?

A team with four people one of them being a Troll bouncer type who is more horny than we..really horny, and a human shaman.

"Okay, we have five "Cats" who need to eat a lot of meat, does anyone know where we will get any?I mean it......"

The troll runs to the room with the cats,and well.They were cats in the terms of tiger merged with bugs.The troll lived, but only because of hit thick skull...


"I have one big $^@ hand gun, with four clips.In these clips there things like salt rounds that will make you unhappy,too things like dumb dumb rounds witch from my tests will make most people wish they hadn't woken up today.So the ball is in your court, do you want to go out of here with a few love taps, or do you want to go away in a bag?Now tell me why you set me up two years ago?"

It was for a parking ticket...

My first time playing Shadowrun I was doing a typical Troll Meathead. We're on the roof of a building and a Chopper flys up with guys inside, guns blazing. What do I do? Shot back? Heck no. I leap from the building, into the chopper and kill everyone inside. Then the GM says.... "Everyone is dead including the pilot. Do you know how to fly a chopper?"

Oops.

"Next time guys we go in with Intelligence."
From a player whose usual solution was to bust the door down and kill everyone.

"Somethings are just best left to chance." My character Chance a cocky as hell chaos mage.

"So you invited the hitchhiker into your car?" "Yeah!" "And gave him an armour vest?" "Of course!"

Minutes before being shot by a bug spirit cleverly disguised with an armour vest.


Same character, same player OOC

"how much C-4 do you need to blow up a city block?"

"Hey did we have a plan for getting out?. . . . . *^%"
A prison break goes very very wrong.

"Hey, you didn't happen to grow those eyes in pairs did you?"
Enchanter after his second encouter with fireballing law enforcement.

"Lets just ring the doorbell and shoot out his kneecaps"
After several hours of logical planning and legwork, you could have guessed they would have ended up on this method of payback.

-------------------
CannonBall, Troll with a Flail
"This heres' Howlitzer. . named her after my mother."

retreating to the elevator after a firefight with our selves, involving several flash bangs with no protection in a parking Garage in Chicago. Now sitting in the dark.

John FSBO(Orc Sam) "Hey, I think we still have team member out there."

CloverMan(Human Mage) "No every ones here."

H2O(Human Decker) "Lets get a head count"

FSBO "We, are definitely missing some one."

Cloverman "No we got every one"

H2O "1-2-3, hey did I touch you all ready"

Cloverman "we definitely have every one"

FSBO "Dudes, where is Tonka and Crystalchick"

Cloverman "we have every one!"

H2O "1-2-3-4, Drek I lost count again."

FSBO "I am going to open the door"

Ashley(Elf Face/physad) "Who ever touches that door is going to get cut!"

out side laying on the cold floor of the Garage eyes still trying to focus. Tonka sits up right.

Tonka(Troll Sam) "What the Drek just happened"

Crystalchick(human Shaman) "I don't know but I think we are alone......I hope we are alone" Staring into the darkness.

GM: Alright, guys, you all manage to cram into the elevatar. It starts moving upward. There's a tinted glass panel in the corner, and you can faintly see a red, blinking light behind it.

Sammie: I examine the light more closely while waiting for the elevator to stop moving.

GM: Blinky blinky blinky.

Wooist: Maybe I can roll a perc check?

GM: Sure. <rollings> It's red. It blinks. Steadily.

Mage: I'm moving the Hell away from these two.

GM: You're in an elevator. With a troll.

Troll: Sorry.

Sammie: I try to peer into the tinted glass. Maybe I'll see something behind it.

GM: ...

Sammie: What?

GM: Blinky blinky blinky.

Sammie (to Gun Bunny): Well, whaddya think? Should we shoot it? Or what?

The sammie earned ten karma, right on the spot, for basically summing up the entire street samurai philosophy in a single line. "Well, whaddya think? Should we shoot it? Or what?" I later took it away, naturally, because he actually shot the light, and the simple surveillance camera behind it. The damage alerted more security forces and resulted in ambush and the messy death of the gun bunny.

Well, there we were, doing a stealth run. The last run I did, so it kind of sticks in my memory. To set the scene; we have a decker (me), a young mage, a mad mage, two samurais and a walking tank (NPC with about 300 Karma). Average karma for the team (except the tank) is about 5...

We have to break into a manor house. I have managed to get us in undetected and we are just inside the electric fence that just went live again.

GM: Those of you with thermal vision can see two heat sources lying nearby.

(it may be worth noting that I am the only one with thermal vision, NPC hands out some thermal goggles from his pack)

Me: What are they doing?
GM: Sleeping, you think.
Me: Do I recogn...
Sam1: I pull out my Viper and shoot the nearest one.
GM: Yes, you do recognise it. They are Hell-Hounds. They are both awake now, looking at the party.

(at this point, I have a beretta in my hand but a silenced rifle in parts in a storage case.)

Me: I sit down, open my case and frantically put together my rifle.
GM: You will not have a chance to align the sights.
Me: (withering gaze) I don't think that bothers me right now. It is the only quiet weapon I have...
Mage1: I shoot the nearest dog.
GM: What are you using?
Mage1: Er... An Ares Predator.
GM: Do you have a sound suppressor?
Mage1: No. I took it off...
Me: Why didn't you just cast a spell?
Mage1: I don't have any, I am a thief.
GM: Give me that sheet... No, you are a mage...
Mage1: Well, I will save my mana.
All: ???
GM: You hear more sounds running toward you...

(cue: every guard and dog in range vs. us. Somehow, we survive... Luckily, the windows are sound-proofed and so we are not caught. I get the door unlocked and move back, sight down the barrel of my rifle an give the order for the Main Samurai to open the door.)

Sam1: I push it open, what do I see?
GM: About 6 guards. Wildfire (Mad Mage) panics, roll for effect.
WF: Immolation (rolls d10 for power) Power 10...

---

Later, there is another memorable quote.

Me: I open the safe gently, then look inside.
GM: You hear a click and then the door swings open.
Me: What do I see?
GM: Well, you see the words "This face toward enemy"...
Me: Yeah, makes sense...

Between two mages, a samurai with biotech and a med-kit, I survived. Just...

Picture the scene: South African bodyguards Dancer (Elf martial artist, absolutely stunning but without a sex drive) and Thorn (brick-outhouse sniper with no sense of tact) are checking their messages. Two weeks ago Dancer was slipped a mickey by a simsense starlet who had taken a shine to him during a previous job. There's one message for Dancer, from said starlets stating quite simply:
'...I'm pregnant.'
As the bottom falls out of Dancer's world, the only thing Thorn can think to say:
'I'm going to be an uncle?'

-JH.

Situation:

The groups Street Sam wins initiative on the first round of a combat facing against 4 opposing runners. They have no idea who the opposing team is, or what their abilites are; other than that they are opposing runners.

The Quote:

The Sam begins to point at each of the 4 runners down the line...

"Lets see, Big gun, Deck, Cybereyes.... I shoot the mage."

the plan ambush the target vehicle by rappelling from a bridge. As the ambushers get hosed down by targets bodyguards. the lead Sam after being riddled with bullets, grabbing a hand hull of dice "So how much do I have to resist for the fall."

"Die you fragger!!!!"
.......that ganger in Redmond!

we found a dead body, one of our samurais asks to borrow a knife

"i stab the body to see how dead it is."


heres one of mine

we were running from a HTR team of some sort, we made it to the roof of a building on a motorcycle. across the building was a hotel, shorter than the building we were on with a pool on the roof.

me, to the guy on the back of the bike: "were gonna jump it"
guy"what are you crazy! we can't make it!"
me"are you kidding? I do this kind of stuff all the time, its childs play"
guy"can you at least go and look, and make sure its close enough?"
after a minute i reluctantly check the distance and jog back to the bike, put on the helmet
guy"so were still jumping?"
me"of course not, we can never make that. what are you nuts"

also:
"i don't think your hair can take another perm"
"on the bright side, at least it doesn't have chainsaws for hands"
and the famous
"don't worry, i saw this on the trid last week"

"What are you brining to the meet?"

"Just my Grenade launcher."

Later after Lonestar impounds the character's house.

"I'm going to call my Lonestar contact and ask him to get my machine guns and missile launchers from my house."

Slider (Decker):"This is the stuff legends and epitaths are made of. "

Hatori(Ninja):"So far we have a hundred bad ideas... let's just pick one"

Slider(Decker): "I blame these people for making me deck AND rig..."

Seven(Street Sam):"I will win this game of gay chicken... BAAKAAH "

Angelique(Face):"How much do they pay the smart runners to do these jobs?"

Slider(Decker): "I think I need another encephalon"
Angelique(Face): "Um, didn't your last one give you selective amnesia"
Slider(Decker): "You think I want to remember this run?"

Typical run conversation with the most incompetent Team EVER.

GM: "So how do you all get to the meet with the Johnson?"
Adept: "I fly there using my force 2 levitate anchoring focus."
A young naive Japanese man in flowing traditional robes and holding a Boken.
GM: "You fly there? For one thing, you could walk faster and it is downtown."
Adept: "I fly over the buildings"
GM: "I see." (sighs deeply while reaching for dice"
Mage: "I guess I go with him."
An albino Gnome in a merlin with distinctive style.
GM: "How does that work?"
Merc: "Well, I just drive there."
An orc that drives a huge bison and is usually seen wearing a gyromount.
Narc: "Hey can you give me a ride?"
A bland man with camera eyes who exists to sell out the group.
Merc: "Sure, I pick him up."
Narc: "I take pictures of the rockets, LMG, law, and amunition in his van
and email the photos to lone star with our team name and meeting location
and I tell them there is more to come."
GM: sigh

Needless to say the Johnson tried really hard to kill us, and we never noticed.

Here's the scenario.

Dead Troll, back alley, a few streets down the panic buttons have been pushed.
This is my first game. I am rather flustered by the fact that we killed a group member, who had just tried to kill us. I say
"What next?"
I here a voice with something that sounds like wisdom. Next thing you know,
"I'll call lone star"
Imagine my surprise when the living team members ditch me and run away? Too bad I didn't notice the voice belonged to the dead troll's player.

Here's the favorite ones from the group I GM:

"I grab the cat and throw it into the razor wire"
~Unfortunate soul who tried to get rid of an Accident Cat, and spent the rest of the run slipping and tripping over himself.

In an encounter with the Scatterbrains (same run), another one of the runners spent 15 minutes entertaining them with exploding cigars/two-foot flame lighters.

I swear, the most entertaining weapon ever created is the car-mounted pie catapult...

Trying to get past a perimeter fence with a delay fence behing it and microwave links in the middle, Jake and Acteon hop on the Blitzen after using the toyota elite and some plywood to make a ramp.

Jake : "Don't worry, I saw this in a movie once."

Acteon : "Really? What movie?"

Jake : "Ok you caught me, just hold on."

(In a discussion between the sammy and the physad as to why cyberclaws were more telegenic than magic.)
Bobby Z (the sammy): "Silly adept, *snikts* are for trids."

Yngvi: "Hey kids, here's some bullets! Don't spend them all in one place."

(while throwing white phosphorus around in a candy warehouse)
Bobby Z: "'Melts in your mouth, not in grenade-induced oxidization reactions,' just doesn't have that marketing zing."

Sven: "We need to use your C12 more often."
Aaron: "It's only C4."
Sven: "Oh. Well, we need to get some C12, and then use it more often, then."
Aaron: "Yes."

Aaron: "Did you say computer? I thought you said shoot people in the face."

Kinneas: "His favorite movie is 'Snow White', but it's the Humanis Digital Remastered edition, without the Seven Dwarfs."

Kinneas: "Can you get carpal tunnel from firing pistols too often?"

(planning an extraction)
Sven: "Well, we go in, we shoot all of the bad guys, however many of them there may be, we grab all of the good guys, however many of them there may be, and wherever they may be located, and we leave. Easy."
Dalassa(GM): "Would someone other than the psychotic dwarf PLEASE plan?"
Bobby Z: "Well, we go in, we shoot everybody, and resuscitate the good guys."
Aaron: "That seems to be a reasonable summary of our plan thus far."
Dalassa(GM): "So you are going to charge fully armed into a city corp compound..."
Bobby Z: "Uh, in a manner that respects the rights of all sentients, of course."

Bobby Z: "These cupcakes are filled with volatile explosives."

Mikhail: "This is why we need slave midgets."

Dalassa(GM): "A middle and an teenage elf get out and start walking toward the helicopter."
Sven: "How do you tell the difference between a middle-aged elf and a teenage elf, anyway?"
Dalassa(GM): "Piercings."

Sven: "Now you know as much as I do."
Kinneas: "And knowing is half the battle?"
Aaron: "No, scientific testing has proven that knowing is roughly 15% of the battle. The vast majority is kicking ass, with around 5% being 'looking cooler than everyone else'."

More here. Er. Whenever my server's connection comes back up.

GM: A three meter tall squirrel, dripping blood, appears in the campfire.

To Gm: What do you mean, a PACK of juggernauts?

Setting the scene: It's around 2 AM on the docks of Seattle, where the party is trying to gather for a meet with a J. Thud, the troll adept, would normally be at home in this environment, but has just managed to get a Rule of 1 on a Stealth Test (this is in 1st Edition, when Stealth was not an Open Test). He has alerted a guard, who corners him and says, "What are you doing here?" Thud looks down at the puny human guard, shrugs, and says, "I'm a tourist... and I'm lost."

"EAT FOOT!"
-- Gau Ban, the only adept who doesn't have Killing Hands (he has Killing Feet)

Another scene: We're doing a beachfront landing on a corporate-guarded property. The first one out of the landing craft is the mage with the Increase Reflexes spell going faster than all the sammies. He gets out, nails one corpsec goon with a spell, and the guards start shouting, "Geek the mage! Geek the mage!"
Next person out of the boat is my character, Neil the Ork Mercenary, who fires off a grenade launcher while sprinting for cover. Due to an abnormal amount of successes -- I think I didn't roll any failures -- the grenade explodes at just the right point to take out more than half a dozen corpsec guards. When he sees this, the corpsec commander starts screaming, "Forget the mage! GEEK THE ORK!!!"

GM: You see a small round object come bouncing down the corridor.

Taris (Ork Decker): (Free action to speak a word right?) I yell "GERRRNAAAADDDDE!!" at the top of my voice and dive back into my room.

Zephyr: Do I hear Taris yelling 'grenade'?

GM: Girl, people in Abu-Dabi heard Taris yelling grenade!

--------------

Hugh (sammie) : My enhanced hearing is picking up what sounds like a security drone around the next corner.

Zephyr (mage): It's ok, we're invisible (Improved invis.).

Taris: Wait, maybe they have ultrasound. (To GM: I stick my cyberarm around the corner and wave at the drone)

(Frantic die rolling)

Taris, pulling back severely ventilated remains of cyberarm: "Guys... uh.. bad news, they got ultrasound..."
-----------

"Fragging low-tech, techno-peasant scum!"
- Taris, after being nailed by a shotgun on a string behind a door.

First runs are fun.

Scenario: I just used a manabolt on the corp exec firing at us, killing him with one casting.

Bob (yes, that is his name) (Sammy): That's the guy we need to kidnap for Johnson. He's unconcious, right?

Me (Shaman): Uh...

-----------------------------------------------

Scenario: We're trying to escape from the building where we were supposed to kidnap the exec. Naturally, we're pinned down by guards. So, using my intelligence for once, I decided to try a risky plan.

Guard 1: Hah! Look at that! He's barely armored and carrying a Slivergun!

Guards: (Laughing openly.)

(Insert sounds of a Manaball going off in the center of the guards and their screams of pain and anguish as they die.)

Me (turning to Bob): I told you the Slivergun would be effective.

------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Mr. Johnson refused to pay, naturally, and was about to escape. I had just fireballed his car, causing it to explode and kill him. Of course, nothing else inside would be salvageable.

Suprasun (Decker, calling on phone): Whatever you do, don't damage his car. That's where he keeps the cred sticks.

You sir, are allowed no-where near our team.

Meh. It was just a case of the world's worst timing. My first mage character was killed, just after the meet with Johnson, because Bob was trying to clean his gun and rolled badly. Naturally, no one bothered to give the replacement any info on their target.

One last addition I just found:

Bob (surveying the burning car): I would pay anything to have this day wiped from my mind forever. What the frag were you thinking anyway?

Me: Hey, I didn't know until a minute after he was dead. Talk to Suprasun.

Suprasun: Don't blame me! I tried calling your other cell phone, but it wasn't answering! I tried six times!

Bob: Other cell phone? Suprasun, you drek-eating idiot. You tried calling the dead mage!

Suprasun: Oh. Right. I forgot he was dead.