Gaming Session quotes, Got any great moments to share? Options

[Sabosect]

Tonight's session.

Scenario: We are on our way to the meet with a new Johnson. Sadly, Suprasun's directions managed to get us lost. He managed to find four roads that don't exist on his map.

Soycaf (Elven sammy with rigging gear): Guys, I'm asking directions. (Pulls over beside a Lonestar cop.)

Lonestar Cop: (Goes wide-eyed as he sees a street sammy with over 500,000 :nuyen: of illegal cyberwear and a fully automatic assault rifle on her back lean out the window of a van.) May I help you?

Soycaf: Yes. I'm looking for directions to the Novahigh Apartments. Could you tell me how to get there?"

Lonstar: Sure. Go two blocks up, take a right. You can't miss it.

Soycaf: You are so nice. Thanks.

Bob (as we turn around the corner): Are you fragged?!? He's going to have a whole SWAT team there!

Soycaf: Good for him. Our meet is one block east of there.

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Scenario: Actually at the meet.

Johnson (holding up a photograph): And this is the guy I want you to kidnap. I can give you all of the information you need to catch him.

Bob: Say, isn't that the Johnson you killed last week?

Me: Yes, I think it is.

Soycaf: Great. Another mission you fragged by killing the target.

[DocMortand]

*chuckle* From tonights meet:

We were talking about winches, and I swear it sounded like he was talking about wenches...so of course things got out of hand.

"I haven't rolled enough successes for a wench yet" and "I've consulted the wench capacity table" were two of the most priceless. :)

Situation: Radio shock jock, armed to the teeth, with "Distinctive Style" flaw (talks like a Harvard grad) is trying to talk to two gangers...and they can't understand what the heck he's talking about. After 5 or so minutes of this, the rigger chimes over the com "Look, you gotta speak their langauge!" Jim, the shock jock immediately tells the gangers "Apparently I've just been asked to lower my dialog to your level."

Things stopped for a bit after THAT one.

[Backgammon]

Jazari(sammy): Legwork ain't my thing. I prefer trigger-finger work
Dee(decker): This man has the most muscled finger I've ever seen.
Jazari: *flex*

[Sabosect]

More from last night's session.

Scenario: Johnson just learned the kidnapping target was killed last week.

Johnson: Well, you are certainly... efficient. I have another run in mind for you. A rescue mission.

Soycaf: Wait. We're so incompetant we fried the previous run a week before you gave it to us and you're giving us another one?

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Scenario: Planning how to break a guy out of a LoneStar building.

Me: I have an idea. We'll use 2000 kilograms of C12 to blow up something. That'll distract them.

Suprasun: How about the Renraku Arcology? I always hated them.

Bob: Sounds good. But we don't have enough money. How will we get it?

Soycaf: We can always steal it.

Bob: Okay. We need to plan from where.

GM (OOC): I swear to God I will sell all of you to a dragon as love slaves if you even dare finish that.

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Scenario: At the LoneStar building in question, waiting for Suprasun to open the doors. Suprasun is two hours late.

Suprasun (calling on cell phone): It's been two hours! Why the frag haven't you arrived yet?

Soycaf: We did arrive. You haven't openned the door yet.

Suprasun: I opened every door in the place! And you're not in my camera view!

Soycaf: Drop the drek. Where the frag are you?

Bob (at hearing the address): (Stands still with mouth hanging open in shock.)

Soycaf: You fragging drek-for-brains moron! That's on the wrong side of town!

Bob (as he is getting in the group's car): That's it. I'm going to have a private chat with him.

Fast forward thirty minutes...

Bob (as he gets out of the car, having just got back): I solved his problem.

Soycaf: How?

Bob: I fired a warning shot at his forhead.

Soycaf: ... That is wrong on so many levels. Now how are we going to get in, dumbhoop?

Bob: Uh... I have a plan!

---------------------------------------------

Scenario: After trashing the base of some gangers, we convinced them several LoneStars from the building we were trying to infiltrate did it. Then we stole a DocWagon and spent two hours waiting for the gangers to show up.

Bob: Drek! My plan went south.

Soycaf: If we don't get paid, I'm taking my cut out in services. And you won't enjoy serving me.

Me: That van is travelling fast for approaching a police station.

Everyone: ...

Me: That is a big boom for such a tiny van...

Soycaf: Half the fragging building is gone! Think our target is dead?

Me: Can't be. I haven't had a chance to kill him yet.

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Scenario: Posing as DocWagon employees, we successfully extracted our target and left the scene without even having to say a word. Unknown to us. DocWagon decided they wanted their vehicle back and sent a few people to collect it.

Sofa (Target): That was wiz! Real wiz! You guys are pure pro!

Me: The credit goes to Bob. He came up with the bomb idea.

Sofa: But the way you disguised everyone? I didn't even know you guys were comming to get me out! (Turns around.) Can I get something for this bleeding? Fragging metal sliced me.

Me (pulling out a knife to cut open a box of med supplies): Sure. Hold on.

Suddenly, the entire craft jerked upward and back down again, accompanied by explosions.

Me (seeing the knife embedded at the base of Sofa's skull): Frag! Fragfragfragfragfragfrag!

Soycaf (entering the room): Now what? (Looks at me, then at Sofa. Looks at me again and then back at Sofa. Gives me a third look and looks at Sofa a final time.) I don't even want to know.

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Scenario: Trying to get paid after me killing the latest target.

Johnson: Let me get this straight. You stole a DocWagon vehicle, blew up half a LoneStar building, got in a firefight with DocWagon that was broadcasted all over the news, and accidentally killed you objective? You have thrown half this city into chaos with your antics!

Soycaf: Great. So we're not getting paid?

Johnson: I'll give you an extra 50,000 :nuyen: to make the body disappear.

Soycaf: What body?

Me (on way out after getting paid): Did that make sense to anybody?

Soycaf: Tonight didn't make sense. I swear, if we could package our incompetence and sell it, we'd drive Saeder-Krupp out of biz.

[Morphling The Pr...]

This one came from yesterday's session.

"Since this stuff is duct-taped to me, I consider it mine."

[FSBO]

[Glyph]

I think a lot of my favorite lines came from the Cage Fight game, over in the Welcome to the Shadows Forum. This is from when the motley crew of 40-build point "runners" is in Ehran the Scribe's inner sanctum, and way out of their depth...


Rat: Belches, then grins at Ilian "Man, that was a good one. That had to have impressed her," he thinks.

Ilian: Raises an eyebrow at him. "I presume you are here to see the Master. Do you have an appointment, or should I inform him of the nature of your business?" she asks politely.

Rat: "Whoa. Did ya call that old guy "master"? Damn. And I gotta pay for that kinda stuff." A vision of Ilian in "slave girl" garb suddenly pops into his head, but Rat tries to focus. "Um, anyway, yeah, we need to see the dude. Don't worry, we ain't here ta hurt him or nothin', we're just messengers. We gotta talk to him face to face, though - in person-like. Is he around?"

[bit_buckethead]

These quotes occurred after the wounded mage makes a spectacularly bad driving roll coming to the rescue of the other wounded team members. She wound up running over and coming to a stop on top of the rather rotund unconscious dwarf weapons specialist after failing a crash test.

Elven Face: "Dwarf Skidmarks. Eeeewwww."
Human Decker: "Congratulations, you have managed to high center our only means of transport and escape on a dwarf."
Crazed Human Sammie: "Man I love this car. It stops on a dwarf."

[lorthazar]

Whisperdeath just killed a plain clothes Cop for touching his new Saab Dynamit. The realizes he might get cuaght.

Whisperdeath "I'll just tell them it was self defense."
All: Uncontrolled laughter for 10 minutes
Wolf: "You can't even get 6 of your friends to stop laughing, the jury is gonna fry you."

*******************************
Our group all guys just breaks into a rather unique PoliClub of militant gays. We accidently trip the alarm and are now surrounded by forty heavily armed men. Wolf, our shaman and sometimes hippie, casts Mob mind to influence them.

Wolf: "Make love, not War."
GM: "You sure about that?"
Wolf nods
GM: "Half of them put down their guns and start advancing..."
Quickdraw" Some of us would have preferred War."

***********************************
A Johnson has kidnapped Quickdraws sister in an attempt to blackmail him into a job. He shows the video of his sister tied to a chair and gagged.

Johnson: "I'll kill her unless you do this run for me."
Quickdraw true to his name pulls a gun kills the man "Okay I want the fragging boss."
Bodyguards: "That was the boss."
Quickdraw. "Frag now I am an only child. Mom is gonna be pissed."

[draco aardvark]

"We're good girls, there will be no penetration!"
- said by a male player playing a male character.
They were using physical mask to turn the team into girls so they could claim to be groupies. Some rich guy got drunk and bet the Spankies would loose to the Blue Socks, so they got hired to make sure he didn't loose the bet.

me: "I have to make concentric shugar circles so that the evil gnomes don't turn my hair purple. If my hair's purple the demons will get me" - my excuse for why I couldn't meet the Johnson during the day
GM: "roll perception" ... "you don't believe him, well - you don't believe that he believes himself, he's obviously lying"
the guy I'm on the phone with: "no, he's clearly insane - I don't care if he sounds like he's lying, I'm sure he's making shugar circles."

[Speedy]

Luceo (Fire Mage) "how many of those Gangers did you take out?"
Cross (Phys Ad) "16.... and look.... I took all their pants!"
Harvy (Rigger) " their credsticks?"
Cross "no.... just their pants."

I couldn't hold back the Karma, it was just to funny.

[Sahandrian]

A bunch of random quotes.

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Exact quote, word for word. I'm the GM.

Rigger: "...Any other limits or information?"
GM (as the Mr J): You hear him lean back in the chair. "You're surprisingly accepting for a runner. Most I've seen go through a lot of trouble to figure out who's hiring them, why, and for how much..."
Rigger: "...Who are you, come to think of it? Do I know you? ...Or DID I know you? And what's the pay, why do you want this done, yadda yadda yadda..."
GM (as the Mr J): "...you didn't think of any of those questions until I brought it up, did you?"

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Later. This one's paraphrased a bit.

Rigger: I continue to my contact's place with all my gear.
GM: ...with all your gear appropriately concealed to avoid police attention while riding through the middle of Bellvue with automatic weapons.

(I'm a nice GM. Sometimes.)

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Rigger: "If they start shooting again, I'll shoot right fragging back at them."
Decker: "Right, then you misfire and we all die faster."
Fixer: "Shut up for a while, Sahandrian (decker/me)."

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Adept: "Sweet! VIOLENCE, YO!"

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Adept: "AHHHHHH! GHOSTS! Wait... Just my phone."

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Adept, referring to a dwarf NPC: "What Would Shorty Do?"

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Rigger: "If they can't say it was you, and you don't look suspicious yet, all is well."

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Rigger, about the group hunting him (Hunted 2 flaw), which he referes to as his "fan club": "I feel loved. I'll sign their autographs at the end of my fragging shotgun later..."

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The GM (Me) and Shinji (the adept), out-of-character. Exact quote.
Shinji: You bastard. I'm pretty sure you're going to have them try and get Shinji or something if he goes, right?
GM: Whatever gives you that idea?
Shinji: Its you, that's what gives me that idea.
GM: And you can't even see the mad grin on my face.
Shinji: Which gives me the knowledge that you will do that.
GM: You think I will.
Shinji: The mad grin makes me think that.
GM: Never trust my mad grins.

[iPad]

After a meet at a really posh club the Johnson leaves but he has paid for us to have VIP tickets so we stay and enjoy the night. Two character drink themselves silly and then ask our Cat shamen to cast invisibility on them. They eventually get thrown out for harrassing the bouncers while being completely nakid.

Half way through a run and the group meet up to plan something. The Were Eagle adept desides to fly to the meet. He lands on the deck of the boat the meetings on, changes into human and hands over a dead rabbit to the Cat shamen:

Wraith (Cat Shamen): Whats this?
Sol (Were Eagle): Its err a err present.
Wraith: Yeah Umm thanks for that. - puts it to one side.
Sol: It was a kingly rabit.
Sol: It was very hard to hunt.
Wraith: Oh really.
Sol: It must of been a kingly rabit it had its own woodern house and took me ages to get into it.

The group pissed ourselves laughing.

Later on

Sol: So whats a pet?

also

Sol to a Wolf Shamen: So you belong to a flock of Wolves?

[iPad]

After completing some foot work the team is in two groups, Sol is with Cooper (Dwarf Sam) and Wraith is with Canis (Wolf Shamen).

Sol is riding with Cooper and Wraith has already got back to the boat. He manages to phone Wraith.

Sol: Miss Wraith where are you?
Wraith (jokingly): Ive been kidnapped by Stuffer Shack.
Sol: Miss Wraith I will rescue you at once!
Wraith: Yes its at (gives address).
(Wraith and Canis burst out laughing).
Sol hangs up the phone.
Sol: Cooper we need to go to (address) and recue miss wraith from Stuffer Shack.
Cooper: Ok. (wtf?????)

So Cooper drives there and waits in the car while Sol marchs in.

Bored Student Type: Can I take your order please?
Sol: I want Wraith back.
BST: That isnt on the menu can I take your order please?
Sol: You have kidnapped Miss Wraith and I want her back.
BST: Wait a second I'll get my manager to deal with your complaint. Mr Murray!
Mr Murray: What seems to be the problem here?
Sol: You've kidnapped Miss Wraith and I'll kill you if you dont give her back!
Mr Murray: Security! (and hits the panic button, a barrier shoots up from the counter). Sol leaves.

[Snow_Fox]

Gm to the player whose character is holding the rear,
"Ok Bill you've got two troll on you."
"Oh no, They've got me on them!"

[Gyro the Greek S...]

GM: "One of the gangers comes around the corner, blocking your escape. Electric bolts are beginning to sparkle around her hands."

Submachinegun Adept: "I pulp her."

'nuff said.

[Sandoval Smith]

Just in case it can still see me, I pick up the severed head and make faces at it to piss it off.

[John Campbell]

[Spook]

"Oh, I only wear my armor when I sense danger..."

This was quickly followed by sounds of gunfire and the words, "AUGHOW! DANGER!"

*sigh*

[Spook]

"Oh, I only wear my armor when I sense danger..."

This was quickly followed by sounds of gunfire and the words, "AUGHOW! DANGER!"

*sigh*

[Sepherim]

One of the first runs (both as I a GM and my players playing SR) had gone way astray... and I mean REALLY out of place. And, in one of the moments, every player was seeing that one, hiding in the car, was going to blow. The copter gets into position, a missile flies out the lateral... I roll the die: perfect impact on the car. And so, I mostly just or trying out the sistem, ask the player:

-¿What Ballistic armor do you have? To see the Dificulty and all that...-

-¿Armor? I'm a female-elf assasins, female-elf assasins don't use armors!-

:grinbig: :grinbig: I still don't know where he got that idea from...

[Sepherim]

[edit]Sorry, double posting, my web browser's going nuts.

[Demosthenes]

My apologies that this isn't an SR quote (but it could be, if you're that way inclined...):

Player: 'But I'm not a foul creature of the night that feeds on the blood of the innocent! I'm a vam.......oh....'

:spin:

[U_Fester]

Here is a good site that has been up for years that has nothing but SR quotes and allows you to add as well.

http://www.griffjon.com/sr2/

[DeadNeon]

It's an OOC comment, but it's become a running gag in my game:

"Run! Its the hose of a thousand men!"

as for IC conversation, i have only this:

Omega the Minotaur: Hmm....

Contact: Don't you mean "moooo"?