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Ancient History
post May 23 2005, 04:45 PM
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Mallory's Divinations
Quentin Mallory was a young, undeniably brilliant theoretical thaumaturgist of the Pythagorean school, who effortlessly mastered the intricacies of magical mathematics and post-quantum physics. Mallory's doctoral theses for MIT&T set a record as the move thought-provoking, ground breaking, and utterly useless thaumaturgical text to ever be written. In exceedingly bad taste, Mallory went on to have the text mass-produced and sold as an advanced textbook on chronothaumaturgical mathematics and physics.

Mallory spends an incredible 1,917 pages proving, through precise and mind-bending multi-dimensional mystical mathematical formulae that sorcery as we know it cannot warp time or space. To compound the utter uslessness of this gargantuan paperweight, described by many students as "Spinecrusher, Breaker of Souls," it concludes with a motley of the most inane and ill-conceived magics ever invented. Most infuriatingly, according to Mallory's arcane computations, each of them should work perfectly.

These spells (all at Force 3) include:
align chronometer
analyze black hole
analyze wormhole
chronothaumturgical analysis
detect alternate timeline
detect space/time fold
detect teleportation
detect time travel
detect wormhole
measure speed of light


Many students suspect professors assign this book to encourage them to develop and utilize levitate spells, or for basic exercise.

Publisher: MIT&T Press
Price: 300 :nuyen:
Availability: 4/24 hours
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Posts in this topic
- Ancient History   Mallory's Divinations   May 23 2005, 04:45 PM
- - Herald of Verjigorm   I can see some actual uses for a few of those spel...   May 23 2005, 05:03 PM
- - Aku   but it's MEASURE speed of light, not OBSERVE t...   May 23 2005, 05:04 PM
- - Herald of Verjigorm   No, the speed of light in a vacuum usually measure...   May 23 2005, 05:10 PM
- - Eyeless Blond   Actually we measured the speed of light in a vacum...   May 23 2005, 05:10 PM
- - BitBasher   QUOTE (Aku) but it's MEASURE speed of light, n...   May 23 2005, 05:10 PM
- - Aku   goes to show just how much I paid attention in sci...   May 23 2005, 05:12 PM
- - mfb   at least you didn't ask why people with ultras...   May 23 2005, 06:54 PM
- - Ancient History   My boredom knows no bounds. Incidentally, Quinn di...   May 23 2005, 07:03 PM
- - BitBasher   On the general subject, what does the presence of ...   May 23 2005, 07:09 PM
- - Czar Eggbert   QUOTE (Ancient History) My boredom knows no bounds...   May 24 2005, 01:24 AM
- - Eyeless Blond   QUOTE (Czar Eggbert) QUOTE (Ancient History ...   May 24 2005, 01:45 AM
- - Mortax   QUOTE (Czar Eggbert) QUOTE (Ancient History ...   May 24 2005, 03:29 AM
- - toturi   I thought there was something familiar about the n...   May 24 2005, 04:20 AM
- - DocMortand   Oh I am SO having this book be discovered in the R...   May 24 2005, 06:59 AM
- - Crimsondude 2.0   QUOTE (Ancient History) Publisher: MIT&T Press...   May 24 2005, 07:06 AM
- - hyzmarca   What exactly does the spell Chronothaumturgical An...   May 24 2005, 07:36 AM
- - Eyeless Blond   I suppose it detects and analyzes any magical effe...   May 24 2005, 09:06 AM
- - toturi   QUOTE (Ancient History) Publisher: MIT&T Press...   May 24 2005, 11:20 AM
- - Demosthenes   QUOTE (Eyeless Blond) I suppose it detects and ana...   May 24 2005, 11:24 AM
- - Ancient History   QUOTE (toturi @ May 24 2005, 11:20 AM) QUOTE ...   May 24 2005, 12:56 PM
- - Slacker   QUOTE (toturi) What if we observe light in a vacuu...   May 24 2005, 01:24 PM
- - Eyeless Blond   QUOTE (Demosthenes) Of course, if it detects nothi...   May 24 2005, 01:34 PM
- - RangerJoe   The presence of strong gravity wells "affects...   May 24 2005, 01:37 PM
- - Demosthenes   QUOTE (Eyeless Blond) That or, y'know, analyti...   May 24 2005, 02:00 PM
- - Herald of Verjigorm   QUOTE (Demosthenes) But would the Analyse Chronoth...   May 24 2005, 03:45 PM
- - Edward   If the spell detects changes in space and time wit...   May 24 2005, 06:09 PM
- - Jrayjoker   Does it matter? They are effectless if you believe...   May 24 2005, 06:17 PM


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