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Just as a little fun, Everyone think up the strangest, stupidest things that could happen in the shadowrun universe, and post em here.


In the headlines today:
  • Hestaby: I'm Pregnant with Dunklezahn's Baby!
  • Lucien Cross to fly around the world in Hot Air Balloon
  • Ghostwalker and Lofwyr: Lovers?
  • Nadja Daviar really a Man!
Former Red-Samurai Ninja SimPorn Star rescues world from Ancient Astral Kitten Horrors with a Dikoted Plastic Spork

Damien Knight discovered to actually be Chuck Norris!
Harlequin: The Tears Behind the Laughter - Who has Broken this old elf's heart?

Ehran IS Lofwyr! Proof That Elves & Dragons are One & the Same!
Woman pregnant with dikoted ally spirit's child!

Aztechnology performing ritual sacrifices! (no one would believe it, anyway)

Deus coded by genius 12 year old boy in his basement!
James McMurray
Shadowrun pulled off without hitch! Johnson thoroughly pleased!
Recipe for Swordfish Mustard Ball revealed!
The Drop Bear Menace Spreads!

Scientists discover potency with Troll tusks!

Cross' secret ghoul lover reveals all!

The True secret behind Disneyworld: Drop Bears!
Mystery mage paralyzes guards with "mass orgasm" spell. Mona Lisa stolen.
Mass carnage at Boy Scout Jamboree, Suspected Shedim attack.

'I've always thought that camping on the old indian burial ground was a bad idea...' -unnamed source
NERPS is made from people!
Elvis and Howling Coyote spotted in the Ork underground men's washroom.

Ghost of Monika Lowinsky spotted in presidential chambers again, this time she's pregnant!!

Drawf couple has 79th baby.

Axel Rose the 5th torches yet another stage, sued for 19 million
QUOTE (James McMurray)
Shadowrun pulled off without hitch! Johnson thoroughly pleased!

Dunkelzahn's ghost spotted haunting the White House!

Madonna3, latest clone of the 20th Century pop star, files suit against Maria Mercurial for copyright infringement.

Matrix users claim "ghosts" of Crash 2.0 haunting the net!

Local Otaku tribe sues Technomancer for "reckless abandonment"!

Mysterious clown leaves "surprise" in Ehran's palatial estate!

Frankenstein corp-scientist has brains of children in jars!

Mages claim meta-spirit teaches human sacrefice!

Damien Cross not dead! Corporate CEO spotted living the sweet life in Carib League!

Deckers claim Matrix no longer compatible with their gear!
Kremlin KOA
Escaped Aztechology Cyberzombie claims to be the reincarnation of Dunkelzahn

Ghostwalker Meets with Cyberzombie, 'No Comment' On reincarnation Claims
Alamaise announces he will go for transgender surgury quoting, "I just cannot live this lie anymore."
Kremlin KOA
Cyberzombie Carries Seriously Injured Ghostwalker from Aztechnology Assasination attempt

When help was offered he is quoted as sayong "He's not heavy, He's my brother."
James McMurray
Alamaise's "life as a lie" found to be former surgery. Alamaise now returning to original sex.
Kremlin KOA
Orkish girl, 13, Great Great Grandmother
Straight Razor
magic clinic now offering 15 min sex change spell.
Corporate Court dissolves! All assets to be nationalised!
Kremlin KOA
Lofwyr really a philanthropist
All corperate maneuvering really to prepare metahumannity to survive coming apocalypse
Kyoto Kid
Likeness of Virgin Mary appears on NERPS
Kremlin KOA
Awakened lemmings found to have innate flight powers, centuries of cliff diving explained.
Deus reappears, apologizes for Arcology "Drunken Escapades"
Woman trapped in UV host whole life escapes, unsure of what is real and what is not. Known to be able to wax anybody's ass in the Matrix.
James McMurray
UV Escapee takes job as ass waxer. Still unsure whether she is in the real world or not.
Kremlin KOA
new breed of hellhound Chihuahua discovered
Being used as lighter for havana cigars
Hellhound Chiuauas known to have bark bigger than bite. But new use has been discovered - when fed five grams of C-12, hellhound chiuahas turn into kamakize bio-drones.
Kamikaze Bio-Drones Found to Have Horrible Stomach Ulcers. PETA Sues.
PETA mysteriously drops suit. "No comment" they claim. Sources inside PETA mention that it may have something to do with the daughter of the PETA president being horribly maimed when a "rescued" kamakize chiuaua hellhound blew up in her face.
James McMurray
Evidence confirms "PETA" acronym for Passions Expected To Arrise. Connatations are still unclear
Bondage enthuesists taking no chances on being left out again, signing up for PETA in droves.
"The old wives tale about a man's foot size is completely true.", says Sasquatch's new bride.
Splinter group of bondage enthusiests call new PETA-BDSM members "Kettles".
Ares to produce Spray-on clothing!

Dolphin buys Stock in Saeder Krupp: Lofwyr furious!

Troll recieves Doctorate in theoretical physics!
Organleggers undercut local butcher's prices!

Watcher spirit found something!

Great Dragon Lofwyr blew up summoning a force 10 spirit! (crazy edge rules)
Dick Clark revealed to be an immortal elf
Baldness found to be caused by the increase of mana.

AI granted citizenship in Russia.

Wireless Technomancer virus spreads the common cold.
Titanic sails into New York Harbor, 158 years late!
"Better late than never", comments Harbormaster.
Kremlin KOA
Board of Aztechnology being nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
Man sues God ... and Wins!
Kyoto Kid
BuzzCola sheds kilos away
God refuses to pay up in lawsuit; UCAS federal court debating how best to assess punitive damages.
"Yahtzee" Effect causes massive explosion in Puyallup, blamed on malfunctioning Panther assault cannon!

Dunklezahn's Will a fake: Real one found, gives entire estate to pet goldfish!

BTLs found to be Addictive!

Man sues Lofwyr... and is eaten! His estate has decided not to proceed with any lawsuits.
Lofwyr sues estate of eaten man, Dragon quoted as saying "Could've used more tabasco."
Kremlin KOA
Mage Sues Aztechnology

Mage wins case

***6 months later***

Mage reinvests damages back into Aztechnology

"I feel so differently about the new board, I feel like we share a strong bond now, like we have the same blood flowing in our veins"
Aztechnology kills 1.5 million babies per year.
Kremlin KOA
Shadowrunner shows remorse over murdering beloved pet dog

Skeptics from MIT&T disprove theory that shadowrunners can feel remorse
Chupacabra's existance confirmed by para-zooologists, surrenders to UCAS patrol seeking asylum from Hellhound chihuahuas.

Aztechnology claims Guiness World Record for "Most Murdered Babies In A Single Year."

Terrorist group Winternight attempts claim on Matrix 2.0 and Wireless revolution patents. Entire planet gives group a classic 'What-The-Frag?" look.

Rocky Horror Trideo Show celebrates joint 81st anniversary with it's 20th century predecessor, the legendary 2-d film the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Seattle RHPS/RHTS fan club, largest in UCAS territories, march through Downtown in full regalia. Winner of "Best Frank" contest goes to troll Chuck Mileston, seen here with human wife Carlie "Janet" Mileston (image: full-sized troll in complete Frank-N-Furter costume, hoisting up 'Janet' on one shoulder and a trophy in the other).

Group of alleged "ghost-hunting" teenagers, along with pet Barghest, ejected from Ares HQ. Group claims reports of Ares building 'haunted' by man in mask unfounded. Reports of Barghest actually talking remain unconfirmed.
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