Post your crazy-ass theories about what happens at Dumpshock to manipulate the crowd.

Here's my first one. The Master Shake for Product Line Developer thread was allowed to live as long as it did because it pissed off the Dumpshock community and drummed up support for FanPro. The reason that Master Shake posted only rarely was because he doesn't exist as a separate entity; he's an alias for Adam or one of the freelancers. The reason I was banned was because after the hatred for Master Shake died down, this fact would become obvious to the watchful observer.

Your turn.

I think emo is secretly trying to stretch the limits as far as he can with these last two threads, trying to see how far he can go before getting banned again.

That and every member with "James" in their name is actually one person.

Well, I'm a sick, evil fuck. What's your excuse?

For what? Being one person? I've got the best excuse possible: it's genetically impossible for me to be any different.

Besides, we know "you're" just posting to prove "you" aren't "me."

I think that James posting smilies everywhere is his way of hiding the fact that he hates us all.

I don't have a single smiley in this thread. Maybe we're coming out of hiding?

That settles it. This thread is the site of the ultimate battle between good and evil. All bets are off.

Nope, sorry. We've hit our off topic, bandying back and forth with emo limit for the week. I'd prefer not to get banned, at least not with this alias. I'm my favorite.

Or is it?

Emo, the effort is… something… and all, but this really isn't good enough to get you permabanned. To do that, you need to start multiple threads calling the community to piracy and then start new accounts to post when you get banned. This is a two-weeker at most, barring repeat offense penalties.

~J

Dude, I'm not trying to get banned. I'm just trying to incite people to theorize stupidly. I'm not flaming people, and I'm not posting repeatedly without response like with the Master Shake thread. And even that took several days to actually incite anything.

Emo has multiple personality disorder, and I am one of his alternate personalities.

You don't post smilies. You have NEVER posted smilies.

Yes, but only he hates you. My other aliases don't.

I can accept that. That means when I track you down for all your transgressions against forums decency, I'll have to lobotomize rather than kill you; I can't take an innocent life, after all. It's the runner creed. It's right there behind "Never use more syllables than you need to" and "Always file down your ruler when measuring your penis against those of others."

Well, the point still remains: I hate you all.

I'm sorry, SL, but your flame war is in another thread.

The half I won't cut out of your brain with a screwdriver and a bread knife?

A hug from Bubba the Love Troll! It'll be a big, big hug!

And here I thought this section was for valid bug reports and real feature requests..

Somebody needs a huuuuuuuugggg!!!

Everybody on this thread but me is the same person. You are posting as several people solely for my amusement.

Except for AH, he is an AI (...I comes right after H in the alphabet!!) that evolved out of the millions of archived posts and wiki to become the epitome of SR knowledge.

Let's make anagrams.

Hmmm... dumpshock..... phd scum ok... Holy shit, this site is for the express purpose of validating competent but morally repugnant individuals!!!

Also, SL_James, or some other guy, is RK Milholland, which explains the anal-retentiveness of at least ONE poster.

Butterflies are AWESOME.

I am not who I seem to be. *Twirls handlebar moustache and hides face behind cape.*

None of you guys exist, not even me. This is all just a dream some being is having in a completely different realm of existance. When it wakes up, you'll see, and everything we have ever done, will just be something for it tl talk to it's analyst about.

But to change to subject a bit (back to the original subject) there is a Dumpshock Conspiracy Theory I'd like to explore. Imagine this, if you will:

One of the Admins, I'm not going to name names but suffice it to say they are real, is actually a secret spy for the government sent to this forum to report on future potential developments about Shadowrun, since, I imagine, some of the people that work for fanpro, probably post here every now and then. Now why would the government care? Because they are scared that shadowrun is slowing becoming closer the thier own future forecasts and they want to know how the FanPro guys know. It's very diabolical really.

It also explains why there are occasional hiccups in DS, see they use the server itself to send thier reports sapping precious CPU cycles from the processors on the Server. It make perfect sense to me.

But that of course is purely theory and probably contains more have truths than anything else.

But emo, no offense actually I kind of like some of the things you do around the forums, but your crazy.

Egg salad brains mash many puppies. The monsters protecting them have filed a complaint with the bureau of not getting shit done, which has been shut down because of the scandal associated with having actually moving the complaint over to the police and army, despite this happening a whole year after the original complaint. A cruise missile strike on the island of the egg salad brains is imminent, and predicted to cause a third world war in which no picnic will be safe.

case in point, lol

Fortunately, this prediction is unrealistically dire; since they are egg salad brains, they are unlikely to use egg salad missiles, since they are devoted towards protecting their own. Unfortunately, they intend to retaliate with conventional weaponry, like nuclear missiles and laser "defense" satellites constantly trained on each and every one of the world's capitals. Whether or not they actually have the technology they intend to use is another matter.

I'm not too sure.

The primary export of Egg Salad Island as we all know is flan. So that lends to the idea that Flan importers would hire lobbyists to fight the attempt to destroy the Egg Salad Brainians, in hopes of improving commerce between thier own interested and the nation in question.

Also if you look at the recent isometric data, and telemetry reports from Egg Salad Brain Island, then you would notice that there has been a 45% increase in hair loss in the population over the last ten years. Which means that the Egg Salad Brainians would more than likely come to some type of treaty as long as we let them join the Hair Club for Men.

Dude, flan would only enrich any picnic it's launched at. This goes against the newest intelligence on the Hill.

And Egg Salad Brainians are far too proud to join the Hair Club for Men. Even if they did, it is well documented that it does nothing for Egg Salad Brainians. They would be even angrier than before and would move to shooting rancid potato salad.

Well we could deal with rancid potato salad, so long as they didn't resort to the jello cannons they recently bought from Espana. Besides Egg Salad Brainians are naturally peaceful nation, and have only bought weapons of mass production to defend against our far dealier weapons. Now I have heard through various sources, who are reliable, that thier army is currently training an elite division of mimes, code named "white face silent people". This coupled with growing antimime sentiment in the US, and that's the real threat.

Excuse me. E-mail to Randy Milholland, which he posted on LJ. I nearly peed myself laughing so hard.

link

I just posted a response to it. My response was awesome, which paled only in comparison to the banality of the preceding discussion. Thanks for the link.

@Kiedo: Those mimes are trained in the way of swordsmanship; no amount of antimime sentiment will ward them off. What we need is an army of hungry golden retrievers to neutralize the source of the problem: the egg salad brains themselves. America has the manpower, and the training is simply baiting the dogs with pieces of food to move them out from under tables and pulling them out of the way again. After this much denial, they will jump at the opportunity to consume the mimes' dark masters.

Here's a theory. James McMurray was hired to talk to me so that nobody else has to.

I wonder if O ever posts here. Nah, can't see he'd have the time. More's the pity.

Well unlike everyone else here, I do exist, and I'm not anybody else. And I can only assume that this is the reason that the tumbleweed wafts by after 95% of the posts I make!

<-------- SEE!! --------->

*stops tumbleweed with foot.*

This forum ain't big enough for the both of us.

You and me, or you and the tumbleweed?

The tumbleweed. That thing's fucking huge.

Ah yes, the SL James "look at me, I'm a meanie" maneuver. It would be funny if it weren't such a blatantly obvious cry for attention.

It's not that he's an asshole so much as he's an uncreative one. "BLARGH MONOSYLLABIC HATRED I WRITE BETTER THAN AH KEKEKEKEKE!!!

Plus, he fears me. He really does.