Hey chummers....I'm new on the boards so I wanted to start my first post regarding some character ideas I've been tossing around with regard to the new ruleset (4th edition). So far, I really dig the Build Point system. Its very open ended and I can pretty much make any character i can think of. I'll be posting my character ideas here, so please check them out and let me know what you think. Even though I've been a fan of shadowrun for a long time, I've only really played the 1st edition rules back in the day with any real regularity. Given that I'm so new to the 4th ed. rules, my math is prolly off and I may not have followed every rule as I'm still not completely familar with them all yet. If I've made mistakes, please be constructive.

Ok....on to my characters....enjoy!


Name: Nick "Heist" Harrison (450BP)
Archetype: Custom (Physical Entry Specialist)
Metatype: Human (0BP)
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Nuyen: ¥
Phys. Cond. Mon: 8+1/2 body =10 Boxes
Stun Cond. Mon: 8+1/2 willpower = 9 Boxes
Total Karma: 0
Current Karma: 0

PHYS. ATTRIB. (90BP)

Body: 4 (30BP)
Agility: 4 (30BP)
Reaction: 3 (20BP)
Strength: 2 (10BP)

MENTAL ATTRIB. (110BP)

Charisma: 5 (40BP)
Intuition: 5 (40BP)
Logic: 3 (20BP)
Willpower: 2 (10BP)

SPEC. ATTRIB.

Edge: 2 (0BP)
Current Edge Points: 2
Essence: 6
Initiative:

POSITIVE QUALITES (15BP)

First Impression (5BP) - +2 dice for Social Tests at the first meeting.
Home Ground (10BP) - +2 dice for Active skill, +4 dice for Knowledge for home ground.

NEGATIVE QUALITES (+35BP)

Addiction - Nicotine (MILD - +5BP)
Addiction - Alcohol (MILD - +5BP)
Allergy - Lactose Intolerant (Uncommon/Mild - +5BP)
Allergy - Penicillin based antibiotics (Uncommon/Severe - +10BP)
SINer - Has a Standard SIN on File with Criminal Record: Grand Larceny (+10BP)

ACTIVE SKILLS (158BP)

(Agility) Combat: Pistols 4/+2 (Heavy Pistols)
(Agility) Combat: Automatics 2
(Agility) Technical: Locksmith 5/+2 (Safe Cracking)
(Reaction) Combat: Dodge 2
(Reaction) Vehicle: Pilot Ground Craft 2/+2 (Car)
(Charisma) Influence Skill Group 4
(Intuition) Physical: Disguise 2
(Intuition) Physical: Infiltration 4
(Logic) Electronics Skill Group 1
(Logic) Technical: Demolitions 3


KNOWLEDGE SKILLS (36BP)

(Intuition) Knowledge: Security Systems 3/+2 (Manufactures and Products)
(Intuition) Knowledge: Street 2/+2 (Seattle Club Scene)
(Intuition) Knowledge: Street 2/+2 (Safe Houses)
(Logic) Knowledge: Engineering 2/+2 (Metallurgy)
(Logic) Knowledge: Business 1/+2 (Automotive Sales)

LANGUAGE SKILLS

English N
Amerind (Sioux) 2
Sperethial 1

GEAR & LIFESTYLE (¥250,000) (50BP)

Fake SIN (Rating 6 - ¥6,000)
2 Fake SIN’s (Rating 2 - ¥4,000)

Remaining Gear Purchases Pending

VEHICLES:

Purchases Pending

CONTACTS (50BP)

Machinist - Michael "Micky D" D'Angelo (Loyalty 2, Rating 4)
Fixer - "Shrike" (Loyalty 1, Rating 4)
Rigger - Johnny "Torque" Truman (Loyalty 2, Rating 2)
Hacker - Sara "Stripe" Cross (Loyalty 2, Rating 4)
Lone Star Detective - Lt. Dwayne Dixon (Loyalty 2, Rating 2)
Lawyer (Corporate Mage) – Jennifer Lane (Loyalty 2, Rating 3)
Street Shaman– Jake “The Snake” Michaels (Currently incarcerated. Loyalty 3, Rating 3)
Club Owner – Kyle Dulles (Loyalty 2, Rating 2)
Street Doc – Laura Bryant (Loyalty 2, Rating 2)
Armorer – “Big Tony” (Loyalty 1, Rating 5)



BACKGROUND

Nick Harrison was your typical young gun running the shadows of Seattle in 2050 under the handle “Tumbler”. A gifted locksmith, Nick always had a natural affinity for getting into places he probably shouldn’t, especially cracking safes and other secure areas. His technical skills, along with his natural charm and rugged good looks, made making friends in the shadows easy and he was soon operating with a team of mid range runners as their “inside point man”.

In 2055, during a run on Renraku suit’s art gallery, things went from bad to worse. Alarms were sounded and Nick was left to his own devices while the other runners on his team cut bait and ran. Deserted and left holding the bag, Nick was captured by Lone Star law enforcement and was found guilty of Grand Larceny and sentenced to 25 years in prison at the tender age of 27.

While on the inside, Nick used his time wisely building a network of contacts on the outside through his contacts on the inside. He spent a good bit of time reading engineering journals, picked up a smattering of Sioux and Sperethial from various inmates, and even earned an Associates Degree in Business through the correctional facility’s “From Bars to Bachelors” program. Through good behavior, he was summarily released on parole after only having served 8 of his 25 year sentence.

Nick went legit, at least for as long as any shadowrunner with a criminal record can. Long enough to start a used car business and establish a decent reputation as the local place to get a good deal. But, the lure of the shadows was too great, and his reputation as a Physical Penetration Expert led to several offers from various Mr. Johnson’s seeking a runner with his skills.

For the last 7 years, Nick has led a double life. By day, he’s Nick Harrison of Harrison’s Eurocar Emporium, by night, under the street handle “Heist”, he’s returned to the life of the shadows. His parole officer, Lone Star Lt. Dwayne Dixon, suspects that Nick has fallen off the wagon as far as the shadows go, but so far has no solid evidence, and due to the mutual respect and friendship the two have developed over the years, is becoming less inclined to begin any kind of in depth investigation into Nick’s personal affairs.

Heist is of average height and weight, but has a rugged natural charisma and sharp wit that’s undeniable. Articulate but not snobbish, intellectual but not condescending. He is approachable and accommodating, but when push comes to shove, and words can no longer diffuse the situation, he’s cold, tactical, and methodical. Heist has learned over the years that the best laid plans are the first thing that fly out the window when the drek hits the street, so he prides himself on being able to adapt when a run goes south. He relies on his extensive list of contacts to get him the things he needs, takes his rep very serious, and will be hard pressed to do anything that might damage relationships with his contacts or reflect negatively on his street cred.

NOTE: Due to Heist’s extensive background in the shadows and from his time in prison, his character build is based on 450 Build Points, reflecting his 20 years of experience.



QUOTES:

Micky D (flabbergasted) - "You want me to build you WHAT!!??"
Heist - "Yep. You scanned me right. Oh, and I need you to boost the HHO output on that welding rig I brought in last week, its runnin’ a bit lean."
Micky D - "But....."
Heist - "Oh, I think there might be a small leak in Westwind’s water fuel cell so you need to look at that."
Micky D - "But....."
Heist - "Oh, and you might wanna look into picking up some more tungsten rods."
Micky D - "But....!"
Heist - "Oh, and I'm gonna need it all done by tomorrow."
Micky D - "But Heist.....?!"
Heist - "Oh, and....(grinning) who love's ya Mick?"
Micky D (angry) - "Fraggit all Heist! (under his breath) You ain't payin' enough for me to be that good of a chummer. (grumbles)"

Lt. Dixon (glaring) - "You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that supposed Novatech Scientist Extraction that happened last week……would ya?"
Heist (innocently lighting a cigarette) - "Now, Dwayne. I already did my time. You know that. I know that. I'm just a law-abiding used car salesman now. No adventure. No excitement. I pay my taxes. I take care of my customers. I keep my nose clean. Ask anyone here and they'll say the same."

Heist (grimly) - "Getting in won't be an issue. Getting out without gettin' my hoop fragged, that's a whole ‘nother story."
Torque (confident) - "Leave that to me."
Heist (grimmacing) - "Yeah, that's what you said last time Johnny."

Shrike – “I’ll give you……say….two fifty.”
Heist – “Bulldrek two fifty. Four.”
Shrike – “FOUR?!?! That’s outrageous! …….Done.”
Heist – “Always a pleasure doin’ biz with ya Shrike.”

Only 1 big problem thus far... you can't have a rating 6 Fake SIN at chargen. After errata the highest rating you can get is a 4 (3 x rtg = avail) because you cannot get anything greater than avail 12.

Also his edge seems a bit on the weak side at only 2.

Aside from all that I like the character.

<edit> ran some more numbers, you only used up 152 on active skills unless my math is wrong, your character is also either 438 or 432 BPs. And remember that you get free knowledge skills = to your (logic + int) x 3 and that you spend your knowledge points on a 1 for 1 basis (so a knowledge rtg 4 is only 4 points)

So the dude cant fight melee at all??? dodge 2 is pretty low also. I'd say he woulda picked up some combat skills in the prison unless he likes dropping soap..

For a first character, this is really good!

My comments:

Addiction - Nicotine (MILD - +5BP): Can't do that. Has to be a susbtance that is immediatly detrimental to you. Getting cancer 20 years down the road doesn't count.

Allergy - Lactose Intolerant (Uncommon/Mild - +5BP): Unless you and your GM consider that real milk is very rare, having been replaced by soymilk (which is a perfectly valid assumption), I would switch that to Common. But either way can work.

Allergy - Penicillin based antibiotics (Uncommon/Severe - +10BP): Here it's safe to assume these don't really exist in 2070, so that's a good one.

Most safes, like all things in 2070, have electronic locks on them rather than mechanical ones. Unless you have a specific understanding with your GM that your character specialises in taking jobs that include old-school safes (which would be cool), you might want to boost your electronics skills.

Why no cyber? You're going to have a tough time without it, especially with an edge that low. You should at least get wired 2. I'd also raise your reaction - it's a very important stat when the bullets start to fly (wired 2 would raise reaction too). Since you have so much money in unspent gear, this shouldn't be a problem. By the way, I'd spend less of those BP on gear and raise your edge and reaction a point.

You have an awesome background, but is the rest of the group starting at 450 BP? 20 years of experience is all well and good, but it wouldn't cut it as an excuse for more BP if I were your GM. If everyone else in the group is not starting with 450 BP, you can still make the character concept fit into 400 BP by saying his skills are a little rusty after being in prison for so long.

The last thing I'd question is your skill in lockpicking. In my campaign, conventional locks are generally only used for cheap appartment doors. Everything else, and especially safes, is electronic (maglocks); even in the 2050s before your character was arrested. Check with your GM on this, because if his game is like mine, you'll want to ditch locksmithing and raise your electronics.

Autopickers aren't going to crack a safe. Plain and simple.

Nice character, I would agree that he definately would need some skill in Hardware.

I'm not certain, but I believe that specializations for pistols is Semi-Auto or Revolver. I don't recall them breaking it down by type holdout/regular/heavy.

The proper term is Safe Manipulation, not Safe Cracking.

An Autopicker would not help, but I'd rule anything that increases ones sense of tactile perception would. Despite the movies, a stethescope isn't of much use either. The problem with safe manipulation isn't just finding the gates, but avoiding the false gates, which also make sounds. Enhanced hearing may or may not help in this case, but usually at lower skill levels it hurts more than it helps.

Also, even modern day locksmiths have a decent hand in hardware skills due to the fact that they install magnetic and electronic locks even these days. Anyone here work at a place where you have to swipe a badge, or get a badge within a certain distance of a rfid reader?

So, I'd up the Hardware at least two points. Locksmith is fine as is. In fact, safe manipulation is considered a specialized discipline within the locksmithing world.

As for the guns, you may want to drop autos in exchange for increasing other skills. The Pistols and the Spec in heavy will give you enough guns to play with for now. The Slivergun would probably be a perfect fit if you feel the need to use a heavy with some speed, but I like the Sukura Fubuki for that as well.

However, if you are going for that old gangster feel, keeping autos might be fun.

Yeah, your description is thorough and interesting but there are a few holes. Some have already been mentioned.

Hardware skill will enable you to pick maglocks as well as 'old school' locks making your character more of an asset. His skill in lockpicking is good but doesn't surpass that of the autopicker. Being a more versatile "Physical Entry Specialist" will ensure he'll be useful as well as interesting. Don't think of the Hardware skill as 'hacking' the lock. To bypass a maglock you have to physically rewire the thing. This doesn't take him out of that "where hackers cannot" niche.

Also, if you intend to weld/drill your way through a vault or safe you'll need the Industrial Mechanic skill to handle the equipment. At least that's the way we've handled it in our game.

Consider buying Linguasofts when choosing your gear. If Heist ever has to break into a place incognito then he better be able to speak the part. That requires a Simmodule for your Commlink, BTW.

Specializations for vehicles are a little more broad than "Car". The examples in the book say "wheeled" or "hover". It's not a huge deal but it's something to look back over (along with the rest of the specializations. Maglocks are not a Locksmithing spec.)

KNowledge skills are handles differently than you've done them in your first post. I don't know if anyone has clarified how to handle that yet so I'll try to be specific (and correct!):
You get (Intuition 5 + Logic 3)*3 = 24 FREE knowledge skill RANKS. That's a 1 free point per one knowledge skill rank during CharGen. Specialization cost 1 BP and you can always buy more knowledge ranks for extra 2 BP per rank. You can't buy more than 24 more ranks, though.

Heavy pistols are pretty bulky and harder to conceal. Plus they draw more attention in high security areas that you'll likely go to. In game terms Heavy pistols have a concealablity of 0. You can always try and use the Palming skill to try and hide your Heavy pistol but as of right now you're defaulting on Palming. Getting a concealable holster and silencer will help.

Physical infiltration will benefit quite a bit from a Chameoleon suit
Subvocal Microphones or Micro-transcievers will enable you to keep in touch with comrades if you need more time to manipulate that safe or backup when a security guard walks in.
A tag Eraser as most of the stuff I would put in a safe would have tracing RFID's on them in case they do get nabbed.

An often over looked skill is the Perception skill. Maybe it's just me, but , as a GM, I call for Perception checks or roll scret one's quite often. Gear that gives you bonuses to hearing can help you manipulate safes or hear guards coming to ruin your fun.

The B&E gear on Page 326 are all pretty important to Heist, IMO. make sure to go through that with a fine tooth comb.

Ultrasound may be able to give you a better look at the innerworkings of that safe, but I'm not an expert so I wouldn't know for sure. GM approval needed...

Having a cyberhand with cooll gadgets meant for picking locks may be a cool addition, just throwing that out there.
Smuggling compartments maybe the best way to get [stolen item] out of the place without being noticed.

You can still try and give your character an edge (the EDGE attribute couldn't hurt) without min/maxing, you know. having implant that compentsate for something Heist isn't naturally good at is resonable. IP's are helpful if you plan on participating in combat against Jazz amped Lonestar or Crammed thugs. Those very same drugs aren't really appropriate for a safe manipulator that may have to talk his way out a sticky situation. Wired 1 or Synaptic 1 could save your hoop though. I'm sure Heist wants to stay out of jail, IP's can help. Also, nothing it better for adapting to a situation that's gone south like bullet time-like slow of your enviroment.

Having a grappling gun and some climbing gear/skill couldn't hurt either in case his new team decides to ditch him. For that matter Running and Swimming might help in the same way. Especially running. There's always a lot of running in heist movies.

Having a criminal SIN makes living hard. How did Heist manage to start a business with such a rep? Did he get help from a contact? Maybe the local crime ring helped him out and is now keeping tabs on him? One of his contacts maybe?

Hope that's helpful

Samaels Ghost - Wow man....thanks for all of that! That helps ALOT.

I would like to see a rivised version of Heist out of interest and curiousity.

Also, i must admit I'd like to see how helpful everyone has been in refining your character. Including my suggestions

Ok, based on some suggestions given above, I've rebuilt Heist. He's got fewer contacts, a different addiction that makes a little more sense, and I've re-written his background a little to be a bit more specific regarding his auto dealership (which he doesn't really own, he just runs it) and his criminal SIN. I also purchased his gear. Once again....check my math....I might have missed some stuff. Hope this is a bit better.


Name: Nick "Heist" Harrison (450BP)
Archetype: Custom (Physical Entry Specialist)
Metatype: Human (0BP)
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Nuyen: ¥3,600
Phys. Cond. Mon: 8+1/2 body = 9 Boxes
Stun Cond. Mon: 8+1/2 willpower = 9 Boxes
Total Karma: 0
Current Karma: 0

PHYS. ATTRIB. (80BP)

Body: 2 (10BP)
Agility: 4 (30BP)
Reaction: 4(5) (30BP)
Strength: 2 (10BP)

MENTAL ATTRIB. (100BP)

Charisma: 5 (40BP)
Intuition: 3 (20BP)
Logic: 4 (30BP)
Willpower: 2 (10BP)

SPEC. ATTRIB.

Edge: 5 (30BP)
Current Edge Points: 5
Essence: 3.4
Initiative: 7( 8 ) +1IP

POSITIVE QUALITES (15BP)

First Impression (5BP) - +2 dice for Social Tests at the first meeting.
Home Ground (10BP) - +2 dice for Active skill, +4 dice for Knowledge for home ground.

NEGATIVE QUALITES (+40BP)

Addiction - Longhaul (MILD - +5BP)
Addiction - Alcohol (MILD - +5BP)
Allergy - Lactose Intolerant (Common/Mild - +10BP)
Allergy - Penicillin based antibiotics (Uncommon/Severe - +10BP)
SINer - Has a Standard SIN on File with Criminal Record (+10BP)

ACTIVE SKILLS (212BP)

(Agility) Combat: Unarmed Combat 2
(Agility) Combat: Pistols 4
(Agility) Technical: Locksmith 5/+2 (Safe Manipulation)
(Reaction) Combat: Dodge 4
(Reaction) Vehicle: Pilot Ground Craft 2/+2 (Wheeled)
(Charisma) Influence Skill Group 4
(Intuition) Physical: Disguise 2
(Intuition) Physical: Infiltration 4
(intuition) Physical: Perception 4
(Logic) Technical: Hardware 5
(Logic) Technical: Demolitions 3
(Logic) Technical: Industrial Mechanic 2/+2 (Welding)


KNOWLEDGE SKILLS (24BP)

(Intuition) Street Knowledge: Seattle Areas of Interest 2/+2 (Safe Houses)
(Logic) Academic Knowledge: Metallurgy 2
(Logic) Professional Knowledge: Security Systems 4
(Logic) Professional Knowledge: Business 3

LANGUAGE SKILLS

English N
Sioux 1
Sperethial 1

GEAR & LIFESTYLE (¥100,000) (20BP)

Cyberware:
Datajack (E0.1)
Cybereyes Basic System (E0.3, R2) w/Image Link, Eye Recording Unit, Flare Compensation, Low Light, Thermographics
Cyberears Basic System (E0.2, R1) w/Sound link, Ear Recording Unit, Spacial Recognizer, Damper
Wired Reflexes 1 (E2)

Doc Wagon Contract: Basic
Middle Lifestyle (1 month prepaid)
Low Lifestyle (1 month prepaid - Puyallup Safehouse)
4 certified credsticks
Fake SIN (Rating 4)
Fake SIN (Rating 2)
Ares Predator IV w/intergral martgun link
Four (4) 15-round Clips
Ares Viper Slivergun w/internal smartgun link
Four (4) 30-round Clips
Concealable holster (x2)
Fake Liscense for Ares Predator (Rating 4)
Fake Liscense for Ares Viper Slivergun (Rating 4)
200 gel rounds
200 standard rounds
200 flechette rounds
Five flash bangs
Two smoke grenades
Armored Jacket (Regular street wear)
Lined Coat (Used when concealing)
Clothing (Various Streetware)
Clothing (Various Businessware)
Glasses w/ultrasound modification
Chameleon Suit w/Thermal Dampening (rating 6)
Hermes Ikon Commlink w/Novatech Navi OS
AR Gloves
Sim Module (rating 3)
Micro Tranceiver w/earbud (rating 6)
Linguasofts: Japanese 4
French 4
Italian 4

Autopicker (rating 5)
Keycard Copier (rating 5)
Lockpick set ¥300
Maglock Passkey (rating 4)
Miniwelder kit ¥250
Maglock Sequencer (rating 6)
Cellular Glove Molder (rating 3)
Wire clippers
Tag eraser

Climbing Gear
Rappeling Gloves
Grapple gun
Microwire rope 200m

Industrial Mechanic shop

VEHICLES:

Honda Spirit Subcompact


CONTACTS (26BP)

Machinist - Michael "Micky D" D'Angelo (Loyalty 2, Rating 4)
Fixer - "Shrike" (Loyalty 1, Rating 4)
Hacker - Sara "Stripe" Cross (Loyalty 1, Rating 3)
Lone Star Detective - Lt. Dwayne Dixon (Loyalty 2, Rating 1)
Mafia Boss – "Big Tony" (Loyalty 1, Rating 5)
Street Shaman– Jake “The Snake” Michaels (Currently incarcerated. Loyalty 1, Rating 1)

BACKGROUND

Nick Harrison was your typical young gun running the shadows of Seattle in 2050 under the handle “Tumbler”. A gifted locksmith, Nick always had a natural affinity for getting into places he probably shouldn’t, especially cracking safes and other secure areas. His technical skills, along with his natural charm and rugged good looks, made making friends in the shadows easy and he was soon operating with a team of mid range runners as their “inside point man”.

In 2055, during a run on Renraku suit’s art gallery, things went from bad to worse. Alarms were sounded and Nick was left to his own devices while the other runners on his team cut bait and ran. Deserted and left holding the bag, Nick was captured by Lone Star law enforcement and was found guilty of Grand Larceny and sentenced to 25 years in prison at the tender age of 27.

While on the inside, Nick used his time wisely building a network of contacts on the outside through his contacts on the inside. He spent a good bit of time reading engineering journals, picked up a smattering of Sioux and Sperethial from various inmates, and even earned an Associates Degree in Business through the correctional facility’s “From Bars to Bachelors” program. Just prior to the Matrix Crash of '64, through his good behavior, he was summarily released from prison after only having served 8 of his 25 year sentence. Two months after walking, the Matrix crashed.

His SIN and personal records lost in the crash, Nick was presented with a golden opportunity to "disappear". Instead Nick decided to take advantage of the Salish-Shidhe Council's "SIN Amnesty Program" maybe in hopes of starting a new and legal life for himself. During his reapplication, a Seattle Distrtict Court Judge, impressed by the convict's personable nature, found Nick's honesty regarding his status as a prior felon above board saying that, "Very few criminals would come forward in times such as these to set the record straight regarding their checkered pasts. I applaud you." His criminal record was downgraded to misdemeoner charges with time served under the stipulation that Nick remain on a 10-year probation program to ensure he stayed on the straight and narrow.

Nick went legit, at least for as long as any ex-shadowrunner can. Long enough to start a used car business, funded by a local Mafia Boss. After a time, he managed to establish a decent reputation as "THE" place to get a good car deal. But, the ensnaring grip of the shadows was too great escape. "Big Tony" eventually called in a marker, and it was time to pony up. After a few small successful runs, Nick's street cred began to build again and he was soon getting regular offers from Mr. Johnsons, who had become very interested in his rep and skill set.

For the last 3 years, Nick has led a double life. By day, he’s Nick Harrison of Harrison’s Eurocar Emporium, by night, under the street handle “Heist”, he’s returned to the life of the shadows. His probation case officer, Lone Star Lt. Dwayne Dixon, suspects that Nick has fallen off the wagon as far as the shadows go, but so far has no solid evidence, and due to the mutual respect and friendship the two have developed over the years, is becoming less inclined to begin any kind of in depth investigation into Nick’s personal affairs.

Heist's long days at the dealership run into long nights spent in the shadows of the Seattle Sprawl. To make it work, Heist has turned to "Longhaul" chased with healthy doses of beer (an interesting mix) as his drugs of choice. His mild addictions to them are becoming more and more noticable as of late. He often wonders if it would be better to check himself into rehab to ween himself from their grasp, but always decides that he's still in control of things.

Heist stands of average height and weight, but has a rugged natural charisma and sharp, alert wit that’s undeniable. Articulate but not snobbish, intellectual but not condescending. He is approachable and accommodating, but when push comes to shove, and words can no longer diffuse the situation, he’s cold, tactical, and methodical. Heist has learned over the years that the best laid plans are the first thing that fly out the window when the drek hits the street, so he prides himself on being able to adapt when a run goes south. He relies on his extensive list of contacts to get him the things he needs, takes his rep very serious, and will be hard pressed to do anything that might damage relationships with his contacts or reflect negatively on his street cred.

NOTE: Due to Heist’s extensive background in the shadows and from his time in prison, his character build is based on 450 Build Points, reflecting his 20 years of experience.



QUOTES:

Micky D (flabbergasted) - "You want me to build you WHAT!!??"
Heist - "Yep. You scanned me right. Oh, and I need you to boost the HHO output on that welding rig I brought in last week, its runnin’ a bit lean."
Micky D - "But....."
Heist - "Oh, I think there might be a small leak in Spirit's water fuel cell so you need to look at that."
Micky D - "But....."
Heist - "Oh, and you might wanna look into picking up some more tungsten rods."
Micky D - "But....!"
Heist - "Oh, and I'm gonna need it all done by tomorrow."
Micky D - "But Heist.....?!"
Heist - "Oh, and....(grinning) who love's ya Mick?"
Micky D (angry) - "Fraggit all Heist! (under his breath) You ain't payin' enough for me to be that good of a chummer. (grumbles)"

Lt. Dixon (glaring) - "You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that supposed Novatech Scientist Extraction that happened last week……would ya?"
Heist (innocently lighting a cigarette) - "Now, Dwayne. I already did my time. You know that. I know that. I'm just a law-abiding used car salesman now. No adventure. No excitement. I pay my taxes. I take care of my customers. I keep my nose clean. Ask anyone here and they'll say the same."

Heist (grimly) - "Getting in won't be an issue. Getting out without gettin' my hoop fragged, that's a whole ‘nother story."
Torque (confident) - "Leave that to me."
Heist (grimmacing) - "Yeah, that's what you said last time Johnny."

Shrike – “I’ll give you……say….two fifty.”
Heist – “Bulldrek two fifty. Four.”
Shrike – “FOUR?!?! That’s outrageous! …….Done.”
Heist – “Always a pleasure doin’ biz with ya Shrike.”

Good, you reposted . Here I go nitpicking...

First the Knowledge skill Safe Houses doesn't make much sense IMO. If anyone were to just know the locations or how to find safe houses than so would the cops and the corps. Having contacts like Big Tony who doesn't neccesarily like Heist but whos does benefit from him sticking around (running that car lot that Big Tony no doubt gets a cut of and running a few safe manipulation jobs for Tony) it would be very likely that Big Tony would hook Heist up with a place to lie low just in case. That also brings up the low lifestyle that you bought. Big Tony or some other contact would cover that for a short period of time, IMO.

Thanks Ghost. Some really great suggestions here.

1st edition Shadowrun was pretty nondescript in terms of how stuff worked in the world. The only real way you could get a feel for things was by reading the novels. 4th edition is WAY more specific. I'm not really used to "HOW" stuff works in this new game. Lots of differernt components with lots of different little pre-reqs and so forth. Seems like EVERYONE in the game has to have a commlink/PAN and all the progs that go with'em even if they aren't hackers. In order to do it right.....you have to know how it all fits together. Its cool....but I've got a lot more to learn I guess.

Anyway....I'll be posting another character for you guys to rip to shreds a little later.

Thanks again for all the suggestions.

**out**

Ok gang.....here's my second character concept. Keep in mind, the games I play in tend to be more detective and dramatic type runs than combat oriented. Also, In order to make my concepts work, I have to play pretty loosely with the qualities sections. And again, my math's not perfect. I think the character generator I'm using doesn't track BP spending as accurately as it should. If any of you guys want to check my math, be my guest.

As always....keep criticism constructive. I'm more concerned with your opinions on my character backgrounds than the numbers.

Enjoy.....


Name: Dr. Rachell Dances-On-Clouds (400BP)
Archetype: Custom (Fox Shaman)
Metatype: Human (0BP)
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Nuyen: ¥ (HIGH Lifestyle)
Phys. Cond. Mon: 8+1/2 body = 9 Boxes
Stun Cond. Mon: 8+1/2 willpower = 10 Boxes
Total Karma: 0
Current Karma: 0

PHYS. ATTRIB. (50BP)

Body: 2 (10BP)
Agility: 3 (20BP)
Reaction: 3 (20BP)
Strength: 1 (0BP)

MENTAL ATTRIB. (110BP)

Charisma: 5 (40BP)
Intuition: 4 (30BP)
Logic: 3 (20BP)
Willpower: 3 (20BP)

SPEC. ATTRIB. (50BP)

Edge: 3 (10BP)
Current Edge Points: 3
Magic: 5 (40BP)
Essence: 6
Initiative: 7

POSITIVE QUALITES (35BP)

Focused Concentration 1 (10BP)
Astral Chameleon (5BP)
Magician (15BP)
Mentor Spirit (5BP)

NEGATIVE QUALITES (+70BP)

Gremlins 1 (+5BP)
Incompetent: Hacking (+5BP)
Incompetent: Cybercombat (+5BP)
Sensitive System (+15BP)
Spirit Bane: Toxic Spirits (+10BP)
Sensitive Neural Structure (+10BP)
Simsense Vertigo (+15BP)
SINer (+5BP)

ACTIVE SKILLS (160BP)

Counterspelling : 4
Ritual Spellcasting : 4
Spellcasting : 4
Banishing : 4
Binding : 4
Summoning : 4
Assensing : 4
Astral Combat : 2
Etiquette (Corporate) : 2
Perception : 4
Pistols (Semi-Automatics) : 2
Dodge : 1
Running: 2
Pilot Ground Craft : 1
First Aid : 1

KNOWLEDGE SKILLS

Magic Background : 3
Biology (Parazoology) : 5
Literature : 2
History : 2
Corporate Politics : 1
Fine Cuisine : 1

LANGUAGE SKILLS

English : N
Sioux : 4

GEAR & LIFESTYLE (¥110,000) (22BP)

Colt America L36 w/ Laser Sight
Concealable Holster
Spare Clips (For Colt America L36 pistol loaded with gel rounds) x5
Clothing (Chic)
Armor Clothing
Leather Jacket w/Fire Resistance (Rating 2), Insulation (Rating 2), Nonconductivity (Rating 2)
Commlink : Sony Emperor w/ Renraku Ichi OS
AR Gloves
Sim Module
Subvocal Microphone
Trodes
Programs: Analyze (Rating 1), Browse (Rating 1), Edit (Rating 1), Encrypt (Rating 1), Reality Filter (Rating 1), Scan (Rating 1)
Certified Credstick (Silver)
Certified Credstick (Standard)
Fake License (Rating 4)
For Colt America L36
Fake SIN (Rating 4)
Glasses w/Low Light Vision, Flare Compensation, Image Link, Thermographic Vision
Earbud w/Audio Enhancement (Rating 1), Select Sound Filter (Rating 1)
DocWagon Contract (Gold - per Year)
Magical Lodge Materials (Rating 4)
Power Focus (Bound - Rating 2)
Healing Fetishe (x2)
Manipulation Fetishe (x2)
Detection Fetishe (x2)
Combat Fetishe (x2)
Antidote Patch (Rating 4) x2
Stimulant Patch (Rating 4) x2
Tranq Patch (Rating 4) x2
Biomonitor
Medkit (Rating 4)
High Lifesyle (1 month)

VEHICLES:

Honda Spirit - "Hahaha, get it?" (Subcompact)

SPELLS:

Heal
Increase Reflexes
Improved Invisibility
Magic Fingers
Detox
Detect Enemies
Manabolt
Confusion

BOUND SPIRITS:

"Goodsby" - Spirit of Nature (5 services)

CONTACTS (9BP)

University Professor - Dr. Owen Caldwell(L:2 C:2)
Corporate Research Sponsor - "Mr. Corrigan" (L:1 C:4)
Talismonger - "Lady Wanda" (L:2 C:2)

BACKGROUND:

Dr. Rachell Lynn Dances-In-Clouds was born February 7th, 2039 in the middle of the Night of Rage. Many, on hearing of her birthday, find it ironic that on a night when so many souls left the world that hers would chose to enter it. Rachell was raised in the corporate AA suburbs of Tacoma by her mother, Janice Riggs, an account manager for Universal Omnitech. Her father, Kyle Dances-On-Clouds, a full blooded Lakota Sioux Eagle Shaman, also worked for Universal Omnitech in special projects but was killed in a secret magical experiment gone awry, a victim of an extremely vengeful Toxic spirit named Draz'xx. This spirit was the subject of a ritualistic summoning that Kyle had been working on in hopes of havesting its essence and applying knowledge gained from it to create cures for various awakened diseases. The spirit could not be controlled when summoned and broke free from its wards. Kyle was killed, but not before the spirit learned of his awakened daughter. Rachell was 2 years old and barely had any chance to know her father.

Even though Rachell's childhood was spent growing up in typical corporate sponsored fashion, at a very young age, she began receiving visions in her dreams. Visions of a horrible creature pursuing her and a kind, red fox always there to help her and show her how to hide. On her thirteenth birthday, Fox fully revealed itself as her spirit totem. Rachell's ensuing vision quest led her to the truth of how her father died and the true name of the spirit Draz'xx.

A year later, Rachell's mother Janice inexplicably fell ill and drifted into a deep coma. Mundane doctors were baffled by what they saw. However, an astral sensing revealed that Janice's aura was dim, her soul taken. In a vision, Fox explained to Rachell that since she had become so good at hiding astrally, the vengeful Toxic spirit had resorted to taking her mother in an attempt to get Rachell to reveal herself. The time had come for a showdown. Rachell, angry and affraid, yet armed with the Fox's guile, was able to trick the spirit into imprisoning itself and releasing her mother's astral being. The imprisonment was to last "Seven by three, when the Moonshadow grows" at which time the bonds that hold Draz'xx will break. Rachell hopes that at that time, she and Fox will be strong enough to avenge her father and destroy Draz'xx. With her short respite earned, Rachell turned to focus on her schooling.

Luckily unaffected by the Matrix crash of 2064, Rachell's records remained intact and she graduated in 2065 from Seattle University with a PHD in Biological Sciences, with a focus in Parazoology. Rachell has aquired a vast knowledge and wealth of experience with dealing with awakened beings and is deeply involved in several research programs dealing with the discovery and classification of awakened beings, creatures, and spirits. Commonly reffered to by her collegues as "Dr. Lynn", Rachell is currently one of the lead faculty researchers at the College of Thaumatergical Sciences at University of Washington in Seattle.

Rachell is small, lean in stature, and quite beautiful to look at. Her keen, jade colored eyes, accentuated by her redish-auburn hair, only enhance her already striking features. Her demeanor is jovial, playful, and sly; a tell tale sign to her mixed Sioux heritage and her calling as a Fox Shaman.

Though gifted magically, Rachell has problems with technology. She has little luck with gadgetry and requires a perscription strength motion sickness drug to overcome her simsense vertigo. She has a commlink, but tries to avoid using it unless absolutely necessary in her work, choosing instead to use a convential terminal for her dealings with the Matrix. Her spell list is geared much more toward information gathering and the more benevolent actions like healing than combat. Though not officially a runner working in the Shadows, Rachell has been known to act as magical support for runners requiring her special skills regarding the awakened world if their cause is just in the eyes of Fox. Rachell has managed to aquire a fake, mid rating SIN, to assist her with those endeavors.

Here's all the technical stuff I think you did wrong.


and as for your background and concept. I'm not sure there is much that makes this character stand out. Though she has personality traits she doesn't seem to have personality. The quotes provided for Heist gave a good feel for who he was or how he acted. You've got history, but no real heart. That sounded corny, but whatever. Hope to see more.

Yep, totally hear what yer saying. Rachell is much more of a supporting character. A character like Heist is very much a lead character that a whole campaign could revolve around. Rachell is my first attempt with making a mage type character with the 4th ed. And yeah, my thought with the tranq patches was to use them with the Magic Fingers spell. Once again my ingnorance of the rules shines through. I thought fetishes were expended as the spell was cast. I'll have to go back a read that section.

Yeah, I know using qualities that way is kinda cheap, just to get the extra BP. But, if it means that and getting the character that I want, as far as other areas like spells and skills that make sense for the character, I'm willing to play it cheap as long as my GM would allow the rationale behind it. I'm very well aware that alot of GM's wouldn't.

The Power focus is bonded. The Spirit is bonded. The character generator I'm using doesn't account for BP spent with regards to bound spirit force ratings, so....that may not be factored in to the count.

Anyway...thanks for the comments....they're appreciated.

By the way....

How do you code [spoilers]?

But without the spaces.

Sweet! Thanks!

More characters for you guys to rip on coming soon.....a UCAS Special Forces expert gone rogue street samurai, a crippled Rigger, and a really smart troll to name a few.

Just don't name the Troll "Perfessur" and I won't have to send the drop bears after you...

You then have my permission to proceed [regal nod]

Ok here's my troll hacker....

Stats are here:


BACKGROUND:

Jonathan Douglas was born mundane in Bellevue, Washington to the awakened world of 2045. His father, Daniel, a highly respected freelance computer science engineer, earned a luxurious living developing system architecture for Fuchi as well as other corporate owned areas of the Matrix. The lucrative work provided the best for Daniel and his family. A ritzy Bellevue home, classy quisine, and the best cyberdecks and progsofts nuyen could buy. Jonathan had always been intrigued by his father's work, and expressed an interest in learning about the Matrix at a very early age. His father became more and more impressed with Jonathan's cognative abilities as he grew older. Even though Jonathan was small and weak, even by human standards, he was gifted when it came to memory and complex problem solving. Many times Daniel would allow his son to "jumpseat" during his work runs in the matrix and Jonathan became increasingly familiar with not only how to operate in the Matrix, but in learning the complex languages and coding techniques in which his father was so well versed. Daniel decided he would further encourage his son's interest in computers by getting him a Datajack for his 16th birthday so he could truely experience the Matrix as it was meant to be experienced....in full VR.

Unfortunately, the surgery had a drastic affect on Jonathan's sensitive system and the insuing trauma triggered his Unique Genetic Expression (UGE). Over the course of a year, he struggled as his body and mind began to change. Becoming a troll was a harsh reality as his childhood friends and school chums began to shun him as his trollish features began to manifest. The strain on his family as they watched him suffer, both physically and socially, also took a heavy toll.

His mother Lindsay, wracked with grief and blaming herself for her son's condition, slipped into a deep depression which inevitablely led to a tragic car accident resulting in her death when Jonathan was only 17. To escape his feelings of guilt and loneliness, Jonathan turned to the Matrix. In the Matrix he could be anyone and do anything. No one in the Matrix could see that he was a troll. No one would judge him based on his appearance. In the Matrix, he was free from the condescending eyes of others. In the Matrix he could find peace.

Daniel, devestated by the death of his wife, did the only thing he could do. He focused on his son. Fearful that goblinization might cause Jonathan to loose his mental capacities, Daniel had his son undergo a new bioware related medical procedure. Jonathan received cultivated cerebral boosters as part of his mental reconditioning, and within only a few months of therapy was able to process information again as if he never had exhibited UGE. He even began exhibiting a near photographic memory. He used it all to his advantage. He redoubled his efforts to learn all he could about the Matrix and continued to join his father during "work runs" into the Matrix. Daniel used these opportunities to teach Jonathan all he knew.

In March of 2063, after an evening hanging out at the local electronics supermart, Jonathan came home to find his father dead at his cyberdeck, the apparent victim of a Black IC attack. Before he could react, a team of unknown opperatives had entered the house and began making their way toward his father's office. Jonathan, in a panic, grabbed his father's fried Fairlight Excalibur, several nearby program datasofts, a tool kit, and ran. Through sheer luck, he managed to escape, but not before the house was set ablaze by the strike team.

The official trideo newscast stated that the house burned to the ground and that both Daniel Douglas and his son, Jonathan Douglas had perished in the fire.

On the run, Jonathan sought temporary refuge in a "No Questions Asked" coffin motel in Redmond where he worked to repair his father's cyberdeck. In what later become known in Shadowland chatrooms as "The Nova Run", Jonathan set the deck to "trideo record" and jacked in. He followed the obscure data trail left by his father's last run, and using access codes left by Daniel, found his way into a high secuirty Novatech Inc. datastore. There, buried behind Black IC, he found documents detailing the behind the scenes picture of the Fuchi/Renraku corporate war of 2060. Worse yet, he discovered his father's involvement.

Daniel Douglas had been the inside "runner" helping to pass Fuchi's Matrix security secrets to a contact at Renraku known only as "ELL" from 2050 till 2060. For three years since Novatech Inc's aquisition of Fuchi's remaining assets, Daniel had been threatening to go public with the information, which would have been enough to spark re-opening the investigation into the Miles Lanier scandal of 2059. Jonathan found periodic transfers of nuyen through dummy Fuchi account numbers that traced to Daniel's banking records, obviously "silence money". But apparently "ELL" had become tired of paying to support an aging widower and his trollish son. A team of Shadowrunners were hired to tie up "loose ends", but Jonathan couldn't gleen any names from the data. Disgusted and jaded, Jonathan backtracked his way out of Novatech Inc.'s system and headed to Shadowland. Careful to cover his tracks, Jonathan dumped the whole Novatech run trideo recording onto the Shadowland BBS under the handle "J-Doe" and let come what may.

He knew his options were now limited. With no home and no money, Jonathan sold the cyberdeck for a measley ¥5,000 through a local Pawnbroker and escaped into the Ork Underground.

He soon found his way into the slums of Puyallup where he fell in league with an Ork Go-Gang called the "The Crashers". It was his first real experience in dealing with others like himself. Despite the occaisional teasing by fellow gangers regarding his size, after a time, the gang actually began to feel like a new family to him. They looked out for him and in turn he was able to score them the occaisional Matrix paydata with a deck he managed to build out of spare parts. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get them by.

After the Matrix Crash of '64 and the advent of the wireless Matrix, Jonathan has taken to the new technology like a duck to water. Little by little, his small paydata scores for the Crashers began adding up, and he has slowly built a healthy rep in the Matrix under his "J-Doe" hacker alias. For the last six years J-Doe and the Crashers have carved out a niche of Carbanado in the Puyallup Barrens as their own. They defend the territory and the neigborhood squatters there fiercely. But Jonathan still knows that he's a loose end on someone's list. A loose end they'll want to tied up sooner or later, and he's fearful that if he's ever discovered, he'll bring heat onto his gang, which is something he'd like to avoid at all costs.

Jonathan is a reddish hued troll of comparitively small size and stature. Standing only 6'1" and weighing in at about 235 lbs., and at a distance, he's often mistaken for an burly ork rather than the troll he is. His appearance isn't very frightening compared to most trolls and he's found that he gets along rather well with most humans, dwarves, and orks as a result of his reduced physical intimidation factor. He has a strong mistrust of elves though, mainly because he doesn't know much about them and has come to believe some of the crazy stories his ork chummers have told him regarding their shifty nature. His features are fairly symetrical with only one tusk of his toothy grin stretching an inch or so longer than the others. He keeps his reddish brown hair cropped close on the sides with a long braided pony tail drapped over his right shoulder which he twirls between his fingers when nervous. He wears his Crasher colors with pride when out with his chummers, but reverts to more casual wear when off on his own preferring denim jeans, sneakers, and polo shits. His demeanor is quite upbeat for someone who has lost both his mother and father and had to endure the hardships brought on by his bout with UGE. He's quite friendly, speaks articulately, and has a wry sense of humor. Highly secretive of his computer skills, Jonathan keeps his tricks of the trade under wraps as much as possible, and although he's pulled the occaisonal high profile job, he's still waiting on the call that'll lead to the big score.

*ding* "You have a call."
*ding* "You have a call."

QUOTES:

Bustah - "Hoi, J-Doe! A couple Ancients was jus' scoped wanderin' into our turf. Dey are WAY outside deir territory. Duh Boss wants us to go'n roust'em. Ya comin'?"
Jonathan (shifting perspective from his AR game of 'Mutant Ninja Deathkick Thrill Kill Squad Racer VI') - "Can't. Working on something for the Boss? I gotta get this stuff done by the weekend or he'll have my tusks hanging from his keychain."
Bustah - "So ka. Meet ya at Dusty's later tonight then?"
Jonathan - "Yeah. Maybe."
Bustah - "Wiz. Later."


Heist - "Ok J, Tell it to me straight."
Jonathan - "Well, in layman's terms, they are using a bio-encrypted algorythym attached to the datastore directory structure to trigger blacklash IC that not only wipes the data if it accessed, copied, or altered in any way, but if the proper keycode sequence isn't followed with in the smartframe subroutine precisely, it broadcasts biofeedback current alerts signaling a lockdown mechanism in the Facilties SOCP.....um, that means Service Order Control Processor....in case you didn't know.....and THAT shuts down the whole level of the building."
Heist (grim) - "Great."
Jonathan (excited) - "But wait....there's more! THEN it notifies the onsite Knight Errant HWERT,...um, that means Heavy Weapons Emergency Response Team....in case you didn't know....and their response time is....oh, according to their latest drill performance record I just leached.....I'd say....oh about 3 minutes. So basically...."
Heist - "So basically.....we're fragged, right?"
Jonathan (grinning) - "Yeah.....pretty much. Wiz huh?"

Wow, noone's made an attempt to rip on my troll yet? Either I'm getting better at making characters or people here have just had better things to do.

Looks like character critiques are going again.

Anyone care to comment on my troll? He's my first attempt at a hacker type character.

Sorry, I didn't post because there wasn't anything really mean I could say about your character. Other that maybe he's ugly and his mom dresses him funny.

Seriously, the character looks great.

I'll probably tweak his gear some. I read "Serbitar's Guide to Paranoia" recently and he brings up some great ideas regarding using multiple comlinks to keep from getting hacked, so I'll probably give J-Doe something along those lines, since he's supposed to be a pretty good hacker and would know to do that kind of thing.

I haven't quite figured out the reasons to or how to go about using skinlinks, especially when J-Doe already has a datajack which, I'm assuming uses a DNI.

The SR4 core rules are kinda scetchy on how things should be hooked up with regard to comlinks and doesn't really give any examples. I hope the Matrix rulebook coming from FanPro gives some more concrete answers.

You can't really go wrong with a troll... even a troll face.

"So, do we have a deal or not?" *cracks knuckles the size of pool balls*