For tomorrows starting game I built a half-crazed old elven sammie, who has the follwin knowledge skills: Conspiracy Theories, Megacorporate Politics & Megacorporate Research. So which weird ideas can be found in his mind, combining his three areas of knowledge? Think of the taxi driver mel gibson played in "fletcher's visions" or the X-files guys of "the lone gunman".
I need some weird theories for this char to annoy my fellow gamers, so please help me out I know you can!

Go read Threats and Threats 2.

all you'll ever need, really.

That books are common knowledge for both me and the GM.

Fuchi was really behind the Renraku Arcology shutdown.

Novatech was really behind the Renraku Arcology shutdown, but pinned it on Fuchi.

A rogue artificial intelligence took over the Renraku Arcology.

The lead on the SCIRE AEP, having been diagnosed with a terminal disease with no realistic chance of treatment, transferred his brain into the SCIRE control systems. He took over the arcology, resulting in the shutdown incident.

Same as above, but it was a lower-level employee who was passed over for promotion/raise or who was going to be terminated (or whose friend/relative had been passed over or terminated).

Fuchi engineered the crash to reduce the number of competitors when they released their early Cyberdecks.

Aztechnology conducts secret rituals in the name of unknown dark spirits.

Aztechnology secretly fights to rid the world of dragons who challenge the superiority of metahumanity.

The Yucatan rebellion is secretly in league with Aztechnology for unknown ends.

The UCAS government summoned Insect Spirits in Chicago to cover up the accidental release of a strain of VITAS that they had been experimenting with.

Damien Knight is on the Aztechnology board of directors.

Juan Atzcapotzalco is really Dunkelzahn.

Juan Atzcapotzalco is really Lofwyr.

Saeder-Krupp deliberately extended the polluted/irradiated areas of the Saar SOX to provide a secure location for secret labs and other facilities.

Mages are simply knowingly or unknowingly implanted with alien technology harvested off of a UFO that crashed in a reservation in 2009. Mages do not exist; the Native Americans who found the UFO made contact with the life forms that created it and convinced a limited number of them to come to earth. These are Dragons.

Every Ares Predator contains a small device, undetectable through normal means, that allows select Ares and Knight Errant personnel to render it inoperable.

Damien Knight was once David Gavilan, member of Echo Mirage. As part of Echo Mirage he helped design the Matrix protocols, and built in a back door giving him access to anything connected to the Matrix.

Nuke-It Burgers cause cancer.

~J

car door handles spread HMHVV.

Smoke detectors are spying drones for the Man.

Napolean's tomb contains alien artifacts.

How about a crazy theory that all of history's great leaders and thinkers were a handful of immortal elves who control the world from the backgrounds. Nah, noone would believe that, it's too crazy and 1)makes elves a super race like in all other "fantasy" settings and 2) make the glorys and efforts of man a joke. (i hate that whole "elves are every important ever crap", it's like when people take the wonders that man created and say we couldn't do it must be martians.)

My work puts me in touch with real people who experience paranoid delusions. Some of the more colourful ones that might work for SR include:

One guy believes the "scar" on the roof of his mouth indicates that he has cameras implanted behind his eyes by the police so they can keep tabs on him, and another beleives that her fillings contain listening devices that her family has ordered. Easy to say that whatever corp or corps your character (thinks he) worked for is monitoring him through his cyber.

Another woman connects any physical pain she has to the remote actions of another person. If she has a headache, then someone is trying to make her eyes pop out so they can steal them. If her knee hurts, it's because someone is sneaking into her place at night and twisting it. This could easily mean ritual magic, too.

Hope that helps.

Lofwyr doesn't exist. He is in reality a cleverly constructed animatronic device controlled by the Corporate Court. It was constructed so that they can infiltrate dragon society. The dragons are great saviours of all mankind but they are portrayed to look bad by a media conspiracy controlled by the worlds governments which wish to keep everyone from the True Dragon Wisdom. Explain this to everyone. Especially dragons.

A sinister cabal that worship a dark goddess called Eris exists. They communicate through a network of trid-show commediennes who hide assassination orders in their jokes. "What was the last thing that went through Dunklezahn's mind before he died? The steering wheel!" If you add up all the letters in that joke, you get the date of the next assassination. You can tell because from the autopsy, we all know that it was a bullet proof windshield fragment so they must have changed the joke to fit!

A cabal of magicians in Constantinople have rediscovered the secrets of resurrection. They are, step by step, raising past historical figures to live again in the modern world in a bid to gain total dominance. Karl Brackhaven is in fact Karl Marx. George Bush is Samantha Villiers. Jim Henson is also once again alive and well and pilots the animatronic Lofwyr.

NERPS! is made of people.

The magical Matrix! check the sig, dude

Tibetan monks, dragon lines, technomancers. ARAGH, my brain

Insect spirits control the White House.

The world will end on precisely 2:13am, (a date two years from now). The aliens told you.

Speaking about the aliens, God, where to begin? Well, obviously Ares is in contact with them. Damien Knight has been in league with the aliens from the beginning: the Nanosecond Buyout was obviously aided with alien technology. That's why Ares was so keen on buying out NASA. The shifty Immortal Elves of Tir Tairnagire have been sending astral envoys to the Moon to contact the alien magicians, too.

There's code in the hardware of Novatech brand cyberdecks to read your neural impulses and send the information back to HQ.

You don't know why, but you know the dragons are watching you. Possibly you're the lost scion of an ancient and revered line of dragon slaying wizards.

The Seattle Metroplex government is going to defect from the UCAS and swear allegiance to their Japanacorp masters in the next few months. While nobody believes you, the garbled tape recording you have is obviously the mayor discussing it with his handlers.

Dunklezahn is still alive, you saw him last week in the Barrens. The world must be told!

You're pretty sure one of the vast assortment of evil cabals and conspirators you're aware of has caught on to you. You're being followed by helicopters with (alien) cloaking devices.

All simsense is tainted with mind control signals. It was originally devolped as an offshoot of the USA CIA's MKULTRA program, which was purchases by Ares Macrotechnology in the same deal that got them NASA.

Government agents can use HERF guns to project simsense signals at long range and implant commands into unsustpecting people even if they don't have trodes or implants. The only way to prevent this is to wear a copper-lined hat.

Speaking of Mr. Knight, he and Fastjack are one and the same. How do you think he managed to orchestrate the Nanosecond Buyout?

Oh yeah, and Deus survived and managed to make it onto the Wireless Matrix, but his code is so badly damaged that all he can do anymore is bombard people's commlinks with penis spam. You know...evil penis spam.

...Lucien Cross is very much alive and secretly in control of the Pueblo Council.

Because some conspiracie theories will still be good in 2060. I particularly recomment this one.

Great (crazy ass) SR stuff.

No matter what happens, blame it on Immortal Elves.

Why does everyone lose a sock in the laundry machine? Immortal Elves took it. can't find your car keys? Immortal Elves placed them in the fridge. Who shot JFK? Immortal Elf on the grassy gnoll.

Aglets are really alien transmitters that keep track of people for our alien overlords.

Dunkelzhan isn't dead, he's hiding from the Corporate Conspiracy, along with Elvis & Jimmy Hoffa somewhere in the Carribean League.

Of course NERPS is made from people. Everyone knows that!

Area 51 is actually a vacation resort for Shedim.

You don't need to see my identification. There's aren't the droids you're looking for. We can go about our business.

Amazonia is a secret front for a horde of insect-spirit queens to establish a foothold on Earth in preparation for unstoppable conquest.

Every now and then, a worthy mortal is promoted into the ranks of the immortal elves. There has only been one such promotion in this lifetime. He was known as Ancient History.

The reason there's no power armor is a massive joint conspiracy of medical corporations. More money can be made off of cyber implants, the surgery/implantation, the initial anti-rejection drugs, the constant drug/medicine and doctor visits/maintainance throughout the lifetime of the cyber recipient. Compaired to the on-time expendature of buying a power suit (which has a much more limited market, military, security and heavy contstruction, compaired to nearly everyone from civilian, corp, security, military to sinless and runners who'll go for cyberware).
Hell even drones, which require cyberware (a VCR) and expensive electronics needed for the 'dog-brain' AI incorporated into the drone would be more expensive and bring in more income to the corporations than any power suit technology. It's no wonder the Mega's and AA corps would probably conspire to keep power armor technology from being developed.

Actually, on the subject of power armor, I turn to Classic Battletech's wisdom:


Life is Cheap. Battlemechs Aren't.

...one name comes to mind...

Choco Tarts

synergy

Dunkelzhan was killed by the UCAS IRS after they discovered he hadn't payed his taxes in a few hundred years.