So finally, after a month and a half of planning, and a many year hiatus (I can't even count how long it's been....) I finally got back in last night.

And man, was it a blast.

The game started with me grabbing another player's sheet after our GM noticed that there were some glaring issues, and counting BP for him, to inform him he was something like 55 bp over stocked. After about 15 minutes, we got him legal again, and I noticed that, of the 5 party members, we had 3 ork, 1 elf, and a human. Grabbing his sheet again, I proceeded to erase human, write Ork, and then explain how I'd saved him 10 bp, and increased his stats by 3 points. This immediately earned him the nickname O.B. Ork Bitch. The elf was unwilling to change.

The game got going, and it was all that I remember. Half-understood goals, a massive corp catching wind and trying to wipe us out, running through the sewers to escape. Then massive stunbolts, too many drugs, and someone screaming "God, no, don't go Astral! They'll kill you!"

Ahhh, good times.

And since I can, I'm copying the in character record I created of the game:



An orkish face, strangely elongated, suddenly fills the video screen

"I shoot this with camera in gun, so mebbe it not look so good. But I have no thing else to shoot. Hey! Shoot camera, shoot gun! Funny! Ooh, gotta be quiet - guards all around outside room. Pointy say so. Never done shooting like this, but idea just come to me in head. Very proud."

The camera swings around wildly to show a large amphitheater, a *very* bloody elf, a tall ork in a traditional russian fur hat, a taller ork in a very nicely tailored suit and fedora, and another smaller ork in a bloody lab coat, then back to the face.

"So, here thing. We hear Helga, she dat troll nurse, she work in clinic, she get kitnap. She good lady troll, so we think, 'Hey, dat Helga, she good lady troll nurse. She get kitnap. We should help!'. We think that stuff a lot. We good group o' orks."

The camera swings wildliy to point at the face of the ork in the russian hat, who seems slightly uncomfortable to be looking down the barrel of a gun. "That Yurgen. Yurgen good ork. Yurgen know good plans, Yurgen not so good at hide. But Yurgen good ork. Yurgen and me, we go back long time. Mebbe 2 years even. Yurgen make magic making."

Another wild swing, and the tailored ork stands with a vacant expression on his face, and a cigarette in his hand. "Dat OB. No, no, not OB. Him have name, real name....Something humie. OB was humie when he met me, but he better now. OB make magic making too. OB pluck minds. OB make big magics too. OB smoke. OB mean Ork Bitch. Poor OB."

Another swing, and the smaller female ork in the lab coat. "That Tosh. Tosh lady doctor who work with lady nurse Helga, who nice troll lady. Tosh lady bring us here to crazy place we in to find lady troll and give virus to some fat elf man who just big-boned and maybe also some other people and she the one that pay us. She mebbe magic making - not seen it, but she say. I not know her very long."

The final swing reveals the bloody elf, who stands peering around the corner ever 5-10 seconds. "That elf. Him named....Jimmy? Jimmy elf ninja like swords. Crazy elf ninja - he get shot in chest, not notice. He think he very strong - me think he just very crazy. He kill people with swords almost as good as Sake kill people with gun, but he have to be closer. He pay me - get me new car. ARGH! Car! I got new car last week, nice pretty Se-Dan. First time I drive, it get all shot up! Stupid Alamo! That nice car! I lock up real good, no one steal! Then Azzie shoot it up! But elf say I get cool van once this over. He tell me it not have flames on side, but I can fix."

And back to the ork again.

"Okay, so here story. Nice troll lady missing. We find. Gotta take virus to elf who is not elf, is fat man. Fat man scared, Yurgens invisible, we run to warehouse. Run run. Elf was in trunk of car, but got out first. In warehouse, we see orks! They good, cause they orks. We like orks. They killing humans. Elf ninja try to jump over van. He not make it. Humans die, but helicopters comin'. So we run in squeezy tunnel. Squeezy tunnel take us to ancient old ork man - he like 45! Ancient ork man say we not get paid. But we get paid. Oh yes. So we have to help find virus, ork children, torture, something. Not really listening. Then, I summoned spirit! Goood spirit! Big and strong. He dead now. We go to this lab place. Break in. Slimy walls, yeck. Some poor sod, he walking halls. Ninja jump on him, then kill him. His brain get probed. Get key card. Elf ninja want to knock on door, see if guards answer. I laughed. We go in, ninja kill some people. I shot guy holding doctor lady Tosh in the head in the warehouse! That happen before, I remember now. Ninja not kill everyone, so I shoot someone around the corner. You know, I do stuff like that all time. Ver' good shot. Then we find lady, not kill her. She tell us stuff, I think. I not listening. Now we gonna go find more ork kids, bring them back. I think we kill more people, then we get paid."

After a moment of consideration, she nods. "So far, good day."

You should have tried to convince the elf to take the ork poser flaw at least

That was a 10 minute long discussion.

In the end, he declared he was simply too pretty to be an Ork.

Best... After-Action Report... Ever...

Good grief. What's this ork's intelligence supposed to be? 1? Or is there another reason he speaks this way?

(Cool report, btw, just curious on this issue.)

1.

And she only put one rank in English. Mandarin is her native tongue.

Some of my favorite lines of the night:

From me, after parking her new sedan in a run down Ork neighborhood: "We must stay near car. This bad neighborhood. Lotta orks."

From the Elven Ninja, after being told that the car will be a close fit with 4 orks and him: "I get in the trunk."

From the nicely dressed ork mage, after getting far too much information on a mind probe: "I gotta give up deepweed."

The GM and I, he portraying the ancient ork living in the sewers.

Me: "We get paid?"

GM: "The ork leans down and looks under his chair. 'Oh, sure, we pay you lots. You like skulls and shit?'"

Me: "What kind?"


Ork doc: "We're carrying the virus. It's in my elf friend here."

*entire group shifts back in their chairs a foot or so.*


Me: "What's the fat man doing?"

GM: "He's just big boned!"

...

Mage: "Is the fat guy still there?"

GM: "It's just a glandular issue! Leave him alone!"

...

Me: "Is that ork still there <refering to the fat man>"

GM: "He's human, okay?! And very sensitive about his weight!"

Ah. Mingbai.

Ok, the only question I have is: What's with this fixation with Orks?
Just cause there are 3 orks in the party, the 'whole' party has to be orks as well? I don't get it... really, I don't. I see Shadowrunners as a very eclectic group of people, you're bound to have a mixed race group just cause you can't always find the right talent, at the right time, from the same race; and after a few runs some comaradery sets in...

I can understand needing to correct overspent BP, but if the dude wanted to play a human, I would have just left it at that...

It's because they're min-maxing, dude. Orks get very good stats.

and why do they all talk like they are brain damaged? SR orcs arent like D&D orcs at all you know.

No, but orks with 1 logic are fairly close to brain dead.

And yes, 1. Orks get very good stats and 2. It's amusing to convert people's race at the start of the game, and a team full of orks is just coooool.

i'd subscribe to her video blog...

"Oooh, run over now - what can happen.... Hmmm, maybe time for shower.... Oh, look, Felicia Flowers, elf porn star come over!" *please deposit 500 nuyen to continue.*

Hmmmm.

She does really need to upgrade to alphawear on some stuff.....

I'm also lazy - accents or distinctive speech are a quick hook to RP. My backup characters are russian,cajun, and a pikey.

It also helps me keep people in the mood, though - I've found that games filled with accents, even if they are 1. Bad and 2. Silly, tend to involve people more. Someone is far more likely to respond in character if they can do it in a goofy Australian accent, because then it's obviously playing....

And on top of that, it makes OOC/IC speech *very* easy to distinguish.

If I'm speaking in broken english with a weird accent that varies between german and pseudo-chinese, I'm in character. If I have a minor southern drawl, that's me.

When it comes to playing Shadowrun, I wish my native language was english. You can't roleplay with english accents when you're playing in swedish In games were swedish goofy accents are appropriate we use them alot though.

(I know I'm fairly proficient in the english language, but that doesn't mean that roleplaying in a language other than your own wouldn't be a nuisance, in case you're wondering )


Love the IC game report btw.

Well, my orcs (there was two in the team, now only one) don´t have many problems in the brains department, but when you talk about beauty - that´s another thing entirely...

One episode with Martha Gray, an ork adept/gang runner that is from a third-generation shadowrunner family (she´s the grand-daugther of the first character from this player):

The team had a meeting with a Mr. Johnson, and the negotiation went bad. They wanted more money, and the Johnson was adamant on that. He stood up and started to walk away from the table (it was in a bar). The team quickly saw the bad advertising starting to pile up for not taking an easy mission and Martha suddenly stood up and went to the Johnson.

Johnson´s Bodyguard: stay right there, babe! Not one step closer.
Martha: but I want to talk with your boss (already in the car).
Johnson´s Bodyguard: well, you won´t we´re leaving now.
Martha: well, I... (turns to the GM) there´s nothing I can do? Seduce him, for an instance?
GM: well, let me see... You don´t have any seducing skill...
Martha: I can just grab my boobs in a seductive way and ask pretty please with my eyelashes batting.
GM: well, you can do that. Roll your Charisma, then. By the way, what´s your Charisma?
Martha: ... it´s 2...

(15 minutes of general laughter)

Grab my boobs in a seductive way?

I'm gonna hope that the player was just rp'ing a low seduction ork....