(Edit: Before eidolon ruined my fun by correcting a typo in the thread title, it was asking for help with an "Adpet")
Dear consumer,
Thank you for purchasing your adpet™, the latest in our line of media-drones. Normally, your adpet should provide fuzzy companionship while providing you with up-to-the-minute information on the newest products and services.
By your description, your adpet™ is experiencing a problem called "run-on." A very rare bug, it causes your adpet to spout unending, unpunctuated, relatively meaningless sentences.
We suggest you reboot your adpet's™ software. If this fails to correct the problem, please return your adpet™ to the nearest distribution center and we will be happy to replace it with another adpet™ or, if one is not available, offer you a free upgrade to a shopbot™.
Good luck. We wish you many months of successful shopping with a faithful adpet at your side!
Sincerely,
Friendtech Industries
Proud makers of adpet™, shopbot™, and new newshound™ companion drones.