I'm currently preparing a story i'll run soon for my players, and wanted to have some advices, critics and review on the story (and maybe helpfull contributors).
I wanted to know in witch part of the forums i should post it ?
Thanks for any reply
Full Version: Story submission
Hi all,
I'm currently preparing a story i'll run soon for my players, and wanted to have some advices, critics and review on the story (and maybe helpfull contributors).
I wanted to know in witch part of the forums i should post it ?
Thanks for any reply
I'm currently preparing a story i'll run soon for my players, and wanted to have some advices, critics and review on the story (and maybe helpfull contributors).
I wanted to know in witch part of the forums i should post it ?
Thanks for any reply
If it's a SR4 storyline for a game you are planning on GMing, then post it here.
If it is a SR 3 or lower game storyline, then you need to have a GM move this post to the other 'Shadowrun' forum and then post it in this thread. This way you get the proper rules and mindsets in the replies people give you.
If it is a SR 3 or lower game storyline, then you need to have a GM move this post to the other 'Shadowrun' forum and then post it in this thread. This way you get the proper rules and mindsets in the replies people give you.
Thanks for the reply.
Actualy, i know this will sound wierd, i'm planning to run my campaign with the 4th edition ruleset, but in a first edition background setting : i've been playing Shadowrun since the early 90's, but my players have just played a couple stories with another GM but know nothing on the storyline.
As i love the stories in the early setting, but hate the 1st, second and third edition rules, i'll use the 4th edition rules.
So witch forums ? ^^
Actualy, i know this will sound wierd, i'm planning to run my campaign with the 4th edition ruleset, but in a first edition background setting : i've been playing Shadowrun since the early 90's, but my players have just played a couple stories with another GM but know nothing on the storyline.
As i love the stories in the early setting, but hate the 1st, second and third edition rules, i'll use the 4th edition rules.
So witch forums ? ^^
Just post it here, if you're using the 4th edition rules. If this is not the correct forum, I'm sure that a mod will move the topic.
Ok first a synopsis :
Please be kind with my english skills, i'm doing my best, but i know it wont reach close to a native english speaker standards.
As i plan to run a lot of "meta-plot" stories up to Big D's assassination, i wanted a nice introduction into the world of the big players, but by the smallest door.
So it all begins on the Christmas eve of 2051.
Each year, a team of runners have been hired at the same date to act as courier and deliver a package in various locations.
The employer is sending a Christmas fruit cake to one of his old time friends.
Some might have guessed : its Dunky sending his present to Alamaise.
So, a previous team of runners was hired, actually they did the same run every year and used to believe it was easy money and some kind of christmas present from their fixer.
But this time, things went wrong : they where exposed and killed by a corporate team. Lofwyr found out about this exchange a few years ago, and while he dont want to be directly facing dunkenzal, he wants to sever the bound between his ennemy and Far Scholar.
Of course the players will be totaly unaware of this story, and while they might notice at some point that SK is the one they are facing, they shouldnt realise who they are working for nor the destinator of the package.
They will be hired with minimal information : they will just know that a previous team was hired, that it was killed by an unknown force this morning in the street.
They know they must get a package in some residential place of seatle, from an old lady we'll call "Aunt Sweety", keep the package up to the evening, and deliver it at the space needle's panoramic restaurant to someone called "Alan Maze".
The problem is that the Johnson have been exposed and that they are already beeing followed by SK opperatives. They want to know who is making the cake, and be sure no more cakes will be made ...
(At this point i'm still wondering if the players will face semi open SK operatives, meaning Lofwyr WANTS Dunky and Alamaise to know he's aware of their link and to show his strength, or if he'll hire other runners to stay in the shadows. I'm more confortable with the idea Lofwyr wants to show his strength to his two fellow dragons, this would better explain the next story moves)
So the players will get to "Aunt Sweety" to get a package : a metalic sealed cylinder.
She'll offer a cup of tea and biscuit to the runners, and will gladly talk about the previous runners and how friendly they where.
This is probably the "comical" part of the run. (i like to have one in my stories so that the players may chill out).
The sealed container is of course holding the christmas fruitcake.
Aunt Sweety is awakened, but i havent decided what : free spirit ? Medium grade initiate. In any case she'll be masked and the magical characters could notice she's not exactly what she seems to be, she'll seem quite powerfull enought to hide her aura.
The opposition wont act at this point : they dont want an open firefight in some residential appartment with lots of innocent casualties at stake. But once the runners will leave the place, they rush in and kill Aunt Sweety.
It wont be an easy fight but they will succeed.
Should the runners come back (and they really should later on), they'll notice some kind of heavy magical activity (gusts of winds, spontaneous fire) but the place have been totaly cleaned in the astral leaving no trail.
The players will probably try to find a hideout while they wait for the night.
If some want to do some legwork on this whole story, i'll clearly support them so as those that keep the package are less.
Anyway, a heavy team will act and break in and try to destroy the package.
This should lead to a nice fight : while the attackers are weaker than the players they heavily outnumber them.
Their goal is to destroy the package, not kill the players.
Lofwyr knew the previous runners where loyal to their regular employers.
But those new ones are interesting enought for dunky, so they are for him, and so are valuable : until he knows he cant have them, he wants them alive.
If the players throw the package at them, they'll take it and leave them be.
Else the fight will last, and i suppose it'll be quite bloody, so i intend to finish it by either tossing a grenade that'll explose and break the container, or have some spirit/elemental pop up and engulf it.
Anyway, the players should end up quite wounded, but i hope to give them a good fight so that they dont feel frustrated.
At that point it will be up to them.
They should realise they have been compromised, as there is no way they could have founded their safehouse.
If they go to Aunt Sweetie's, she'll be missing and the place will have been torned apart.
I might leave a few clues on what happened, but it will depend on the aunt's nature and the real involvement of Lofwyr/SK.
In every case, they should contact their fixer or Johnson, explaining what happened as there is no way that they can finish their run.
The johnson will be quite displeased but will call his employer.
From that point he'll be out of the game, as it is clear he is the security leak.
The players will get an anonymous phonecall from a feminine voice (masked but nonetheless will be Nadia Daviar).
She'll instruct them that they must continue if they want a payment.
She'll put on a ZOB account the payment if they manage to deliver the package, the Johnson being out of the game.
They'll need to cook again a fruit cake ...
But for this they'll need a few things :
- First the reciepe. This reciepe is an antique one, that has been discovered by the Atlantean foundation. They'll have to hack in their databases to recover it.
- Second the ingredients : the employer knows a few "exotic" ingredients, but not the details.
The ingredients are as follow : eggs from a common paranormal bird, milk from an awakened cow type, cherries from a special tree that only grow in Tir Nan Og, and last a few drops of Laès. (This will be of course detailed when i'll have a look at the critter books and maybe a few will be my own.)
The players will need to break in the seattle paranormal zoo to get the eggs and the milk, (i want my troll to run after an awakened chiken asking it to lay an egg !) and break in the Tir Tairngire Consulate to get the Laès and the Cherries as they're having a party with the whole elven who's who of Seattle. (this should be more for "Face like" characters, and i know one of the characters in my team have the skills and contacts to do it by getting invited)
The players will have to do this FAST, then have their mage cook the stuff as it'll require a minimum of magical skill (the cake will be some kind of Alchera).
They'll run to the Space Needle and meet with a lonely guy eating his christmas meal alone watching the city from above.
Once he'll see the players, Alan Maze (Alamaise) will have a deadly look at any elven character, and in general will be really unfriendly. He'll taste the cake, throw them another very bad look, give a tip to the group and tell them to leave without a thanks.
The aftermath :
The players will have a first step in the "immortal's" affairs. Lofwyr will or wont learn about their success, i dont know yet, but in a way or another he wont forget ...
Dunkenzal will probably ask for them again for other works.
Their fixer will owe them, as she'll keep the recuring contract for the christmas cake. (and i plan to run each year a "cake" run).
Sorry for the bad spelling/grammar, and i hope i'll get some feedback on this story.
I've done some more detailed writings, but they are in french.
I'm currently working on the technical aspects of the game, but really might need some game balance help.
The goal is to put my players "slowly" into the mete-plot.
I also have 4 ladies playing, they have done a few games of other RPGs, but i cannot throw them into the thick of the darkness involved in SR on their first run. (and they are not combat hungry, witch is a really GOOD thing)
any comment will be appreciated
Please be kind with my english skills, i'm doing my best, but i know it wont reach close to a native english speaker standards.
As i plan to run a lot of "meta-plot" stories up to Big D's assassination, i wanted a nice introduction into the world of the big players, but by the smallest door.
So it all begins on the Christmas eve of 2051.
Each year, a team of runners have been hired at the same date to act as courier and deliver a package in various locations.
The employer is sending a Christmas fruit cake to one of his old time friends.
Some might have guessed : its Dunky sending his present to Alamaise.
So, a previous team of runners was hired, actually they did the same run every year and used to believe it was easy money and some kind of christmas present from their fixer.
But this time, things went wrong : they where exposed and killed by a corporate team. Lofwyr found out about this exchange a few years ago, and while he dont want to be directly facing dunkenzal, he wants to sever the bound between his ennemy and Far Scholar.
Of course the players will be totaly unaware of this story, and while they might notice at some point that SK is the one they are facing, they shouldnt realise who they are working for nor the destinator of the package.
They will be hired with minimal information : they will just know that a previous team was hired, that it was killed by an unknown force this morning in the street.
They know they must get a package in some residential place of seatle, from an old lady we'll call "Aunt Sweety", keep the package up to the evening, and deliver it at the space needle's panoramic restaurant to someone called "Alan Maze".
The problem is that the Johnson have been exposed and that they are already beeing followed by SK opperatives. They want to know who is making the cake, and be sure no more cakes will be made ...
(At this point i'm still wondering if the players will face semi open SK operatives, meaning Lofwyr WANTS Dunky and Alamaise to know he's aware of their link and to show his strength, or if he'll hire other runners to stay in the shadows. I'm more confortable with the idea Lofwyr wants to show his strength to his two fellow dragons, this would better explain the next story moves)
So the players will get to "Aunt Sweety" to get a package : a metalic sealed cylinder.
She'll offer a cup of tea and biscuit to the runners, and will gladly talk about the previous runners and how friendly they where.
This is probably the "comical" part of the run. (i like to have one in my stories so that the players may chill out).
The sealed container is of course holding the christmas fruitcake.
Aunt Sweety is awakened, but i havent decided what : free spirit ? Medium grade initiate. In any case she'll be masked and the magical characters could notice she's not exactly what she seems to be, she'll seem quite powerfull enought to hide her aura.
The opposition wont act at this point : they dont want an open firefight in some residential appartment with lots of innocent casualties at stake. But once the runners will leave the place, they rush in and kill Aunt Sweety.
It wont be an easy fight but they will succeed.
Should the runners come back (and they really should later on), they'll notice some kind of heavy magical activity (gusts of winds, spontaneous fire) but the place have been totaly cleaned in the astral leaving no trail.
The players will probably try to find a hideout while they wait for the night.
If some want to do some legwork on this whole story, i'll clearly support them so as those that keep the package are less.
Anyway, a heavy team will act and break in and try to destroy the package.
This should lead to a nice fight : while the attackers are weaker than the players they heavily outnumber them.
Their goal is to destroy the package, not kill the players.
Lofwyr knew the previous runners where loyal to their regular employers.
But those new ones are interesting enought for dunky, so they are for him, and so are valuable : until he knows he cant have them, he wants them alive.
If the players throw the package at them, they'll take it and leave them be.
Else the fight will last, and i suppose it'll be quite bloody, so i intend to finish it by either tossing a grenade that'll explose and break the container, or have some spirit/elemental pop up and engulf it.
Anyway, the players should end up quite wounded, but i hope to give them a good fight so that they dont feel frustrated.
At that point it will be up to them.
They should realise they have been compromised, as there is no way they could have founded their safehouse.
If they go to Aunt Sweetie's, she'll be missing and the place will have been torned apart.
I might leave a few clues on what happened, but it will depend on the aunt's nature and the real involvement of Lofwyr/SK.
In every case, they should contact their fixer or Johnson, explaining what happened as there is no way that they can finish their run.
The johnson will be quite displeased but will call his employer.
From that point he'll be out of the game, as it is clear he is the security leak.
The players will get an anonymous phonecall from a feminine voice (masked but nonetheless will be Nadia Daviar).
She'll instruct them that they must continue if they want a payment.
She'll put on a ZOB account the payment if they manage to deliver the package, the Johnson being out of the game.
They'll need to cook again a fruit cake ...
But for this they'll need a few things :
- First the reciepe. This reciepe is an antique one, that has been discovered by the Atlantean foundation. They'll have to hack in their databases to recover it.
- Second the ingredients : the employer knows a few "exotic" ingredients, but not the details.
The ingredients are as follow : eggs from a common paranormal bird, milk from an awakened cow type, cherries from a special tree that only grow in Tir Nan Og, and last a few drops of Laès. (This will be of course detailed when i'll have a look at the critter books and maybe a few will be my own.)
The players will need to break in the seattle paranormal zoo to get the eggs and the milk, (i want my troll to run after an awakened chiken asking it to lay an egg !) and break in the Tir Tairngire Consulate to get the Laès and the Cherries as they're having a party with the whole elven who's who of Seattle. (this should be more for "Face like" characters, and i know one of the characters in my team have the skills and contacts to do it by getting invited)
The players will have to do this FAST, then have their mage cook the stuff as it'll require a minimum of magical skill (the cake will be some kind of Alchera).
They'll run to the Space Needle and meet with a lonely guy eating his christmas meal alone watching the city from above.
Once he'll see the players, Alan Maze (Alamaise) will have a deadly look at any elven character, and in general will be really unfriendly. He'll taste the cake, throw them another very bad look, give a tip to the group and tell them to leave without a thanks.
The aftermath :
The players will have a first step in the "immortal's" affairs. Lofwyr will or wont learn about their success, i dont know yet, but in a way or another he wont forget ...
Dunkenzal will probably ask for them again for other works.
Their fixer will owe them, as she'll keep the recuring contract for the christmas cake. (and i plan to run each year a "cake" run).
Sorry for the bad spelling/grammar, and i hope i'll get some feedback on this story.
I've done some more detailed writings, but they are in french.
I'm currently working on the technical aspects of the game, but really might need some game balance help.
The goal is to put my players "slowly" into the mete-plot.
I also have 4 ladies playing, they have done a few games of other RPGs, but i cannot throw them into the thick of the darkness involved in SR on their first run. (and they are not combat hungry, witch is a really GOOD thing)
any comment will be appreciated
That is a killer story. Would you mind if I adapted for use in my group? I really like the use of intrigue and being pawns of dragons; it definitely has the Shadowrun feel to it the earlier timeline provided. Four females in the group is quite impressive. It should definitely make for some interesting play.
| QUOTE (azrael_ven) |
| That is a killer story. Would you mind if I adapted for use in my group? I really like the use of intrigue and being pawns of dragons; it definitely has the Shadowrun feel to it the earlier timeline provided. Four females in the group is quite impressive. It should definitely make for some interesting play. |
Thanks for the friendly comment.
Of course feel free to adapt, improve etc ... and if you have any ideas i would be glad to adapt them too
The story isnt 100% finished, there is still some shadows in it.
As for the 4 female players, yes it really adds something : i had a 4 years campaign on the 7thsea, i had 9 players but we only played all together a few times, but i had twice a group of 5 girls, and it was quite fun.
Female players are really more interested in the story than the body count (at least those that have played with me), and will be more statisfied by earning a good relationship with some NPC than earning some piece of uber gear.
The bad is that they tend to be eternal game system noobs : they never, never never learn the rules ^^
Anyway, mixed tables are the way to go, and for a game like Shadowrun should do good, as i've noticed their male counterparts (usualy husband/boyfriends) will be lesslikely to play psychokillers
I`d like to read that but the lack of line breaks hurts my feelings.
I've edited it, so that you'll get an easier time reading it
Absolutely great! I know you want suggestions and useful comments, but I like it just the way that it is.
And the fact that you can have a reoccuring cake run every year is just even better.
You know, I think I'm going to steal that idea as well. Thanks!
-K.
wow, thats a lot of names to throw around in just one run. But I do like it. My only concern would be with the forcing of the first fruitcake to be destroyed, it seems like a bit of a railroad. As long as that can be done with out feeling forced, it sounds like a very good run!
Sounds like a fun idea...
but I was under the impression that the fruitcake that Dunky left in his will was the 'same' one they'd been exchanging for years (meaning that it would be extra upsetting to have to replace it)... like the old joke that nobody likes fruitcake and it lasts forever, so you get one from your Aunt, and then mail it to your step-brother, who sends it on its way until it makes its way back to the Aunt.
Anyway, even if that is the case - just have to remove the takes a bite part and its golden.
but I was under the impression that the fruitcake that Dunky left in his will was the 'same' one they'd been exchanging for years (meaning that it would be extra upsetting to have to replace it)... like the old joke that nobody likes fruitcake and it lasts forever, so you get one from your Aunt, and then mail it to your step-brother, who sends it on its way until it makes its way back to the Aunt.
Anyway, even if that is the case - just have to remove the takes a bite part and its golden.
Sounds like a great run.
Just be carefull how you introduce Alan Maze. While it's a clever word play if you see it written, and you probably wouldn't see the link, if you say out loud "the guy you are meeting is Alan Maze", your more knowledgeable are gonna say "ALAMAISE??" and you'll say "No, Alan Maze, two words", but by then you'll of course have given it away.
Just be carefull how you introduce Alan Maze. While it's a clever word play if you see it written, and you probably wouldn't see the link, if you say out loud "the guy you are meeting is Alan Maze", your more knowledgeable are gonna say "ALAMAISE??" and you'll say "No, Alan Maze, two words", but by then you'll of course have given it away.
That's quite a lot of nice comments
| QUOTE |
wow, thats a lot of names to throw around in just one run. But I do like it. My only concern would be with the forcing of the first fruitcake to be destroyed, it seems like a bit of a railroad. As long as that can be done with out feeling forced, it sounds like a very good run! |
True, i thought about that and i'm trying to find a way so that it was clearly bad luck, or just some decision from the players.
I know that his may raise hairs from a few of my fellow GMs, but when i usually want to have that kind of "scene" i ask one of my players to act.
For exemple, one of my characters is Coyote shaman like i already said, if during the fight i tell her in private that she's hearing a little voice saying "throw the cake away, throw the cake away" she'll gladly do it
I'll hint that its her totem advice of some sort, and she'll be pleased to have done something that make no sense to anyone in the group, but has a true meaning for her character, and the players while pissed off at her wont know that this was just a story tool i used
| QUOTE |
but I was under the impression that the fruitcake that Dunky left in his will was the 'same' one they'd been exchanging for years (meaning that it would be extra upsetting to have to replace it)... like the old joke that nobody likes fruitcake and it lasts forever, so you get one from your Aunt, and then mail it to your step-brother, who sends it on its way until it makes its way back to the Aunt. |
Hmm actually this is a good idea
I'll think about it, since it would add a challenge to the run : make a forged fruit cake ...
I'll have to check what kind of skill rolls i could ask my players
Also, if such would be the case (and the more i think about it, the more i like that idea) what would really be Aunt Sweety's role ?
I dont want another dragon involved, even behind the scenes, as its already a bit too much.
I always thought about the Aunt as beeing someone/something special, but i still cant figure it out.
| QUOTE |
Just be carefull how you introduce Alan Maze. While it's a clever word play if you see it written, and you probably wouldn't see the link, if you say out loud "the guy you are meeting is Alan Maze", your more knowledgeable are gonna say "ALAMAISE??" and you'll say "No, Alan Maze, two words", but by then you'll of course have given it away |
Well in some way this is intended.
Most of my players are clueless about shadowrun, and even those that arent dont know anything about the dragons especially the hidden ones like Alamaise.
One of them used to gamemastering Earthdawn, and i'm pretty sure the player will yell very loud once he'll hear that name. Of course the player will know and understand part of the story, but his character wont, and i've been playing rpgs with him for long enought to know he'll play as he dont know.
But the player will literaly be raving mad at that point as he clearly asked me stuff like "and what about the bloodwood ? is it still around or did it came back ? and alamaise is he still wandering around ?" (he knows that both background are clearly linked) when i first started to talk about shadowrun's background.
Anyway, regarding this particular player, i WANT the players to look back once they'll start learning about the game world a bit more, and realise who they were working for all this time.
I know it might sound stupid, but these are typycally the kind of small stories that add a lot more to the gamers rewards than a couple milion nuyen
| QUOTE (treehugger) |
| Also, if such would be the case (and the more i think about it, the more i like that idea) what would really be Aunt Sweety's role ? |
Personally, I'd just have her a completely normal, mundane, sweet old lady with rank 6 in baking. It will drive your players nuts if anything will, because sweet old ladies are never what they appear to be in fantasy games. Of course she is (knowingly or not) a friend of a Great Dragon, but I think Dunklezahn would find it rather valuable to be able to spend an afternoon with someone who has nothing to do with world politics, no vast conspiratorial agenda and who'll scold him for eating with his elbows on the table.
Either that or she's Harlequinn in drag.
So i've checked a few things.
Regarding the cake, the will mentions this :
Regarding the cake, the will mentions this :
| QUOTE |
| To Alamais, I leave the fruitcake we have exchanged every Christmas since 2020. Unlike you, I’m really dead |
This would indicate that it was always the same cake as "Scope_47" said.
So i'll change the background a bit :
Aunt Sweety made the cake back in 2020. She was some kind of bakery employee at the time, that Dunky met and befriended (i could imagine the scene where dunkenzal would taste every cake or pastry in the shop with the lady commenting and explaining what he's eating, the dragon being of course facinated with so much diversity)
She's mundane (like Knasser said, players will be even more suspicious if they dont find out anything regarding her).
She's protected by some kind of big spirit/elemental (she's the big D's friend, and she's involved in one of his games so ...) and i suppose one of the player will see the spirit when they'll come to visit her.
When they'll come back to have another cake baked, her appartment will be torned apart with heavy magic activity, no trace of her will be found. The SK operatives would just have cleared the place to be sure no cake might be cooked again.
But they'll meet the spirit, slay it and leave without finding Aunt Sweety.
So where is she ?
She's upstair with Mrs Pembelton, Mr Trumper and Mrs Trumper for a Christmas meal and a game of Bridge (like every year actually).
The players wont find her (unless they look everywhere, but i really doubt it : they'll consider she's dead. If they use a search power from a spirit, i guess i'll decide she's under some sort of protection from the Big D : else SK would have found her quick.)
When the players will meet Alan Maze, he wont take a bit from the cake : he'll just pick a few grains of it and taste it with disgust, just to be sure its the right cake
The plan for the next year would be the opposite : Alan Maze would hire them to find Dunky and deliver him the cake
Now, what would be the Alias used by Dunky ? i have no idea, but i'd like some stupid word play, maybe something obvious, or something really lame (like mr Smith, or Mr Bob)
Duncan Zahn. (Middle names: Leonard Erskine).
Hi all, it has been a while, and since my campaign was on hold for some time, we didnt pushed very very far into the storyline, nonetheless, the time is coming for the second cake run !
I was wondering if you guys that said would run this story for their groups had some feedbacks, and if you had an idea for the second run : now is the time to get the cake back from Alamaise and bring it to Dunky ... of course things shouldnt be that simple ...
I was wondering if you guys that said would run this story for their groups had some feedbacks, and if you had an idea for the second run : now is the time to get the cake back from Alamaise and bring it to Dunky ... of course things shouldnt be that simple ...
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