So. I was thinking: we obviously have some punsters out there, so I propose seeing who can come up with the best Shadowrun-related story-pun. I'm talking the worst, Spider Robinson-esque sneak-up-and-kill-you shaggy dog stories you can think of. I'll probably come up with something shortly, but wanted to put this out there.

Get a Kludde, K1tsune. You cat go wrong.

Shaman needed a change of pace. For the last several weeks she had spent the evenings at home catching up on work. There was nothing shiny and new going on in her life. She needed to strach her wings.

She told her roommate she was going out for the night. At first her roommate thought it was a bad idea, they both had to be at work early in the morning. But eventually the shaman convincer her roommate that it would be a good idea after all.

So, what did she finally out and do?

...

~J

I dont get it either...

That had to be the worst joke I ever heard....... but yet I still chuckled at it. I must be sick in the head.

*Ha*sarcasm*ha*sarcasm*ha*

Well, it was what I was looking for.

I'm so tempted to steal/convert some Callahan's puns just to get peoples' juices flowing.

OMG. I have the perfect one to convert.

Stolen short, as I work on a greater one:

Universal Brotherhood hot dog stand: "We'll make you one with the works."

This just in:
Reasearchers in the remote reaches of the Sahara desert have recently stumbled upon an enormous humanoid, three miles high and made of sandstone. At first, it was mistaken for an immense statue erected by some strange magical force, for it just squats motionless in the desolate desert, exhibiting no outward sign of life. It has legs, but it never rises to walk on them. It has a mouth, but never eats or speaks. It has what appears to be a fully functional brain the size of corporate arcology, but the organ lies dormant, electrochemical activity at a standstill. Yet it lives.
This puzzles the hell out of scientists and mages of all sorts, who try everything they can think of to get some sign of life from the behemoth- in vain. It just squats, motionless and seemingly thoughtless, until one day a Parazoologist, frustrated beyond endurance, screams, "How could evolution, or even magic give legs, mouth, and brain to a creature that doesn't use them?!"
It happens that he's the first one to ask a direct question in the thing's presence. It rises with a thunderous rumble to its full height, scattering the clouds, thinks for a second, booms, "IT COULDN'T," and squats down again.
"Migod," exclaims the parazoologist, "of course!


Edit: Stolen from Spider Robinson, and just changed from SF to Shadowrun terms. He deserves credit for this masterpiece, not I.

Not really Shadowrun related, but it came up last night. I was describing to a friend of mine how to best stay unharmed in large jumbles of fighting people, and I was having a hard time putting into words how to stand on the outside of the fight and pluck people off as they come to the outside of the group. Finally, I remembered that he is in school studying to be an electrical engineer, and a physics example came to me.

"You're just plucking them out of the valence, Matt." The three guys (all in physics heavy majors) laugh, and Matt's wife groans.

I said, "Sorry. It's just ionic humor."

I'm surprised she didn't geek you, but, then again, I guess she didn't have too.

I will try to change my ways to be more like a rat shaman by living off of garbage, but I don't think I can.

I am hoping to win the lame pun award with this one.

What do you call a group of kids packing food in fabric?

'm not so good with puns...
But hey
So this guy goes out looking to get laid. After several hours of searching he finds a quite atractive woman to go home with him. They have sex multiple times. They next morning he wakes up and finds the woman gone and a small house cat in his bed. His flatmate who is already up and laughs and says, "Looks like you got some Pussy last night."

*doges any and all flying objects*

I'll repost the horrifyingly bad pun I put on another thread:

What do you get when you recycle a chinese mage?


REjen!



...As oppose to WUjen...?



well. He said he wanted bad puns. That IS the worst one I can think of...

This was one of nezumi's from the "flaw/skill" thread:

yea, all npcs
lol!

That's cool. I sort of thought you were, and thought it might be nice to share the article anyway.

Every Shadowrun group I've ever gamed with has always had quite a few women, often out numbering the guys.

A dead girl walks into a bar and orders a brainy Mary. The bartender, misunderstanding her brings a drink. After she spills it, moans about, and then takes a table, he turns to the waitress and says, "Watch out, she's dim."

A new drug has been making the rounds of the nightspots. It seems to be a variation of Kamakaze, gengineered specifically to cause maximum effect in those of the dwarven metatype. Word of mouth is advertizing it as a really excellent pygmy-up.

that was a good article. Also explains to the unintiated why women are not a normal addition to the average gaming group.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that the article adresses a situation painfully out of date, but I've been told that my experience is somewhat unusual.

My group knows that no, he didn't mean "woah, man"

~J

(Yes, that was bad. Fortunately, I'm out of throwing range.)

ahah maybe we don't want to know the answer to that.

A Dwarven mage (who specialised in contacting metaplanar entities) escaped from imprisonment yestarday.

I'm thinking of playing a shaman who seems kind of like Ghandi: he'll walk everywhere, barefoot, and eat a traditional Indian diet, which will probably add up some social mods because of the chronic bad breath, and he'll be in pretty tenuous health. That's right, I'll be playing a

A small, two seater jet crashed yesterday into a field in an undisclosed location in Aztlan, striking an old graveyard. Investegators say that the pilot and copilot are unharmed, ejecting from the plane safely. They estimate the death toll for this accident at 512, and that figure is rising as workers hurry to clear the crash site.