QUOTE (b1ffov3rfl0w @ Mar 19 2008, 06:46 AM)

Well, there's getting the recipe for whatever thing (Everlasting Gobstopper, Levitation Soda) or obtaining a spell formula (Turn to Giant Blueberry, for example). Rescuing someone who had been on a tour is another possibility, as is trying to sabotage production. Or maybe Mr J needs a live Oompa-Loompa for some reason.
Oompa-Loompas are some kind of extra-creepy Dwarf metavariant; maybe they can use Teamwork for Spellcasting as if it were ritual magic, but all spells require rhyming (oompa, loompa, doopity-doo, unauthorized intruders Turn Into Goo). Disturbingly, it could be an HMHVV-type thing going on, so any regular Dwarf could be turned into an Oompa-Loompa after being Essence Drained to zero (oompa, loompa, doopity-dessence ...).
Wonka himself is either an Immortal Elf or a Free Spirit and becomes extremely intimidating and scary in his true form:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tya1UixPX2Q
Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Oompa, Loompa, Doopity-danium
Eat a full clip of depleted uranium
This is comedy-gold. You, sir, win the Internet.