-----------------------------
Shadowfluff Part 1
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+++++ Begin commercial
< Peppy music comes on >
"Doo-doo-do-do-wah" singers sing in the background.
A young elf wearing a black outfit and camo paint on his face is crouched next to a filing cabinet. He picks the lock on the files, and searches through for a minute, then pulls out a disk marked "Top Secret". He pockets the disk, the turns to leave.
At that moment, the door is blown in, and the body of a large Troll flies backwards through it, his body riddled with bullet holes. The elf looks panicky as two Knight Errant security Guards step through the door holding HK-227's, the laser sights searching there way around the room for him.
He dives behind a desk and frantically looks around. He looks out a window, and see a rope ladder hanging from an incoming Yellowjacket. He thinks a moment, then pulls out a roll of Mentos mints. He pops one in his mouth, holds his UZI III above the table and blindly fires off a couple of shots, forcing the two guards to duck for cover.
The elf then dives through the window and barely manages to snag the rope ladder, and the rigger flown Yellowjacket take off. The elf looks back to the window and see the two guards standing there. He smiles and flashes the Mentos pack at them, and they grin and chuckle. Then the elf flies off into the night....
< The picture freezes and a caption scrolls across the bottom of the screen >
"Mentos, the Fresh Maker"
+++++ End Commercial
"And now back to 'A Runner, His Lover, and His Gun' starring Gurth and Pete Sims..."
(You couldn't escape those stupid Mentos commercials back in the 90's)
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Shadowfluff Part 2
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+++++Begin commercial feed
[Male voiceover]: We've been chasing this thing for over two years now...
[Interior shot of a GMC Bulldog. the rear of the van is filled with computer equipment, electronics, and monitors. There is also a large amount of weapons. Three men sit around a small table with papers and photos stacked on it. One of the men is an Ork, one is an elf, while the other is human. the camera swings briefly to the front, where we see a female human rigging the vehicle]
[Shot outside the van. The male human is holding a dark photo up to the camera that shows a white blurry shape on it.]
Human male: This is definitely it right here. See the round shape here, and the two long points on top. That is definitely what we're looking for. It's in the area.
[Male voiceover]: Why do we do it? For the challenge, anymore. Because we don't like to be beat. We've been chasing it so long now, that even if we weren't making an arm and a leg for it, we'd keep chasing it.
[Interior shot of van once more. The elf peers out a periscope that leads to the roof of the van, while the human monitors the many computer and view screens.]
Male Ork: [Staring out the side window with a pair of binoculars] I see him! There he is! Stop the van!
[Everybody yells as the van screeches to a halt in the middle of the road. Wide, grassy field stretch out to either side of the road. The three men pile out of the vehicle, each carrying a large weapon, including an assault cannon.]
Male Elf: Where is it?
Male Human: Oh, we got the fragger this time!
Male Ork: Over this way!
[the men carefully make there way into the grass on the left side of the van, their weapons ready, peering around cautiously. A large auto-cannon pops out of the top of the van and swings back and forth a couple of times...]
[Suddenly, the elf throws down his gun in disgust...]
Elf: Woodchuck...
Human: Damn... just a woodchuck... i thought we had the damn bunny this time...
Ork: [Mumbles to himself a bit as they head back to the van]
Elf: [sighs] We'll find him guys, don't worry... We're close...
[Male voiceover]: And so the search continues...
[Screen changes to a white background with a pink rabbit beating a drum and wearing sunglasses]
Announcer: Energizer Batteries... they keep going, and going, and going...
+++++End commercial feed
"And now back to 1001 uses for a woodchuck, starring Sascha Pabst"
(This ones pretty self-explanatory. And after 20 years, he's STILL going...)
-----------------------------
Shadowfluff Part 3
-----------------------------
+++++ Begin commercial
Jack held up the small red and white orb and sighed. “Ok, let him out.�
The boy looked up at Jack, his eyes wide beneath his ballcap. “But why? He’s got horns, just like a Rhydon. And he can throw fire, just like a Charizard!�
Jack sighed again, longer and louder this time. “Look, I realize that, kid, but…�
The boy grew more excited and waved his arms at jack, his blue vest flapping slightly. “He can shoot lightning, just like Pikachu! And he’s really strong, just like a Machamp! And he’s mine! I caught him fair and square!�
Jack sighed again, one hand drifting slightly to where his Predator was holstered. “Look, Ash. Flash is a Troll Combat Mage. He is NOT a Pokemon!�
Inside the Pokeball, Flash was screaming “Let me out of this thing!!!!�
[The Kids' WB logo flashess on the screen and a deep voice is heard]
"Watch Shadowrun: The Cartoon Series, coming this fall from Kids WB!"
+++++ End Commercial
"And now back to 'The Woodchuck Strikes Back!" starring Dvixen and Caric..."
[/i](At one point, Warner Bros. kids cartoon network (No longer on the air, I believe) used to run commericals featuring characters from several of it's shows. One commercial was almost identical to the one above, except it was Batman trapped in the Pokeball.)[/b]
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Shadowfluff Part 4
-----------------------------
+++++Begin commercial feed
The scene opens in a warehouse. It's dimly lit, and flashes of light and the sounds of shots suggest a gunfight going on. The camera zooms in on an Ork, hiding behind a large metal crate. He checks the ammo on his gun, looks over to a nearby crate where an Amerind wearing a fringed buckskin jacket is hiding and yells "Go!" He whirls around, points his gun over the crate, and lets off a shot.
[Male Voiceover]: Are you in the mood for an Action sim tonight?
The Ork ducks back again as a burst of shots rips into the crate. "What are we going to do?" yells the Amerind. The Ork shrugs and looks around, and fires off a shot just in time to catch a man wearing some sort security armor as he was creeping acrossed a catwalk above them.
[Male Voiceover]: Or are you in the mood for Childrens Cartoon?
A small, animated devil rat crawls up next to the Ork. It looks at him ans says "You're really screwed now, you know that?"
The Ork stares at the Cartoon Devil Rat in shock. "What the,,," He mutters to himself and rubs his eyes and looks again at the rat, hoping it would be gone.
"This is a bit dangerous for my tastes! See ya!" The Rat exclaims and scurries off behind some crates.
[Male Voiceover]: Or are you in the mood for a Musical?
Suddenly the gunfire stops, and a spotlight clicks, illuminating the middle of the room, where an elf in clown makeup and a leather jacket is standing. Suddenly music kicks in, the Elf holds up a cane, and the security guards form a chorus line around him and start dancing.
"Doo Doo-doo, Doo Doo-doo, Doo Doo-Doo...
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone...
It's not unusual have fun with anyone...
But when i see you hanging about with anyone...
It's not unusual to see me cry..."
The Ork and the Amerind just stare at each other in shock. As the Voiceover comes up, a cartoon Devil Rat runs up behind the guards and starts dancing along...
[Male Voiceover]: Whatever kind of simsense you're looking for, you can find it at Hollywood Simsense.
+++++End commercial feed
"And now back to Adam Jury in... 48 hours with a Greyhound."
(Pretty much a straight rip of a series of Hollywood Video commercials airing at the time. And Adam really did spend 48 hours on a Greyhound Bus, as I recall.
)
