Would you please critique the following character:


Karmagen
SIN Name: Carl Marston
Alias: Mista Clean, Mr. Clean
Avatar: <That Guy>
Age: 22
Height: 1.73 meters...5'8"
Weight: 147 Lbs.

Attributes
Body 3
Agility 4
Reaction 4
Strength 3

Charisma 4
Intuition 5
Logic 3
Willpower 5

Edge 3
Essence 6
Initiative 9
IP 1
Magic 4

Qualities
>Mystic Adept
>Made Man
>Astral Chameleon
> Martial Arts (Ninjustsu)
>>Advantages: Reduce Visibility
>>Manuevers: Disorient
>SINner (Criminal) {Having associations with the Yakuza, would that cause possible records to exist?}
>Moderate, Uncommon Allergy (Cryptomeria aka Suji) {assuming PC does not start in Japan}
>Sensitive System

Adept Powers
>Kinesics
>Memory Displacement
>Melanin Control
>Voice Control
>Facial Sculpt

Tradition: Buddhist
Adept Path: The Invisible Way
Group Initiated: семь
Initiate Grade: 1
Ordeal: Oath

Skills
>Blades 3
>Dodge 2
>Throwing Weapons 3
>Spellcasting 4
>Disguise 5
>Infiltration 5
>Shadowing 1
>Perception 3
>Con 4
>Navigation 1
>Pilot Ground Craft 2
>Negotioation 2
>Etiquette 3
>Climbing 3
>Gymnastics 2

Spells
Increase Reflexes
Improved Invisibility
Levitate

Knowledges
Japanese N
English 3
Russian 2

Crimial(Yakuza) 5
Politics (Corporate) 4
Hangouts (Safehouse) 2
Navigation (Smuggling) 1
Security Procedures 4
Procedures (Corporate) 2
Fine Cuisine 2


Gear
Defiance EX Shocker
-Personalized Grip
-Melee Hardening
-80 Taser Darts

Cougar Fine Longblade

Ceramic Knife

Survival Knife

Chameleon Suit
6/4
Actioneer Business Clothes
5/3

Sim Module
AR Gloves
Trodes
5x FlashPak
5x Thermal Smoke
White Noise Generator R4
Jammer, Area R4
Gas Mask
Nanopaste Disguise Small
Grapple Gun
Climbing Gear
2x Stealth Rope
Catalyst Stick
Rappeling Gloves
Gecko Tape Gloves
Autopicker R4
Wire Clippers
Maglock Passkey R4
Monofilament Chainsaw
Keycard Copier
Smart Pack
Disposable Commlink
5x Certified Credstick
Biomonitor

Hermes Ikon
-Novatech Navi OS
-Browse 3
-Analyze 3
-Command 3
-Encrypt 3
-Scan 3

Contacts R3
-Image Link
-Vision Magnification
-Smartlink

Googles R3
-Vision Enhancement 3
-Flare Compensation
-Low Light

Earbuds R2
-Audio Enhancement 3
-Spatial Recognizer

Fake SIN 4

AR Gloves
Trodes
Microtransceiver R6
Medkit R6


2 Months High Lifestyle

Vehicle
Suzuki Mirage
Engine Customization Acceleration
2x Run Flat Tires

Group Contact
L4/C8 Great Uncle - Yakuza

Contact
L2/C5 Ernest Raagen - MCT Seattle Division Manager


(A striking young man walks alone on the paved stones. A small girl chases up to him nearly tripping (face plant!!) but quickly regains her balance and straightens out her outfit.)
Miki: "Senpai, where did Sensei say to meet him, it's almost time ..."
Karl: "Patience, Miki-chan, Sensei will come," grumbling quietly, "usually whenever he pleases or when ..."
Miki: "What do you think he want all of us for, he's always training your little brother, Carl."
Karl: Resuming Now we just need to find Ernest, Lev and Carl, again."
(fade out to a serene waterfall elsewhere in the park, contrasted by the towering blood red walls)
(a young boy, with a similar striking visage of Karl, meditates under the falls, near him are two elders practicing their arts.)
(Ernest attempts to escape Lev's planned pin. Lev begins to incapcitate Lev, but is thrown to the ground. Ernest soon finds himself in the ground. Zoey stands over them.)
Zoey: "Carl, we need to meet Great Uncle, he said something about a "gift" from Great-Grandfather."

((Time Lapse))

(Two men are watching security trideos.)
Mysterious Man #1: "The семь, the Seven? What kind of pathetic joke is the old man trying to pull? He thinks he'll stop my god's words with a prophecy."
Nervous Mysterious Man #2: "It's just seven pukes, right. We can knock them ou ..."
MM#1: " No, here's what we'll have them do ..."
(Nefarious whispering begins.)(Credit goes to H2:SA as an inspiration.)

((One week before arriving in Seattle.))

(Carl looks to the corner of his AR, *It's been that time again, time to meet the parents. Luckily, after that botch I'll be able to keep all of my fingers. Thankfully, he was there to see it happen. But, now this, I love my girls, but these four...*)



1) Where does your character come from, what is their lineage, who were their parents, and what did they inherit from their parents?
Great Uncle: Although he holds no real position in the Yakuza, his brother (Maternal Grandfather to Carl) is a shateigashira of a city in a prefecture.
Trains his brothers's guards.
Mother: Passed away in a vehicular accident
Father: Runs a Russo-Japanese restuarant near Grandfather's home.
Siblings: Alive, somewhere?
Ernest Raagen: Elf, extracted from MCT Japan to MCT Seattle, and childhood friend.

2) Assuming they could speak, what would your characters' parents say about your character?
Father: Although he may seem inattentive, brash, and mischevious, he is perceptive and uses his behavior to hide his true intentions.