#1. Those of you with cyberware, turn all wired access off. If your cyber arm starts acting up, we'll interface with it directly in the corp hospital after filing the proper worker's comp claims, but leaving its wireless access node on is just asking for trouble. Similarly, no smartguns. Ejecting the clip is just too likely with those darn technomancers.
#2. Raise your hand when you feel the shivery cold feeling. That was our resident mage, astrally walking through your aura on the astral plane. When you feel that, you must sound the alarm -- call for backup immediately. As part of today's exercise, you'll be responsible for counting how many times our mage walks through your aura. As with all tests today, you must score at least a 95% to pass.
#3. Always shoot the mage first. He will be your biggest priority because a mage will work you over. If the team is running away, shoot the scrawniest guy first, because he's most likely to be their driver.
#4. Feel free to run away if they have overwhelming firepower. It's far easier for us to tap your mind and see your memories to get a good scan of any invading shadowrunners while you're alive -- it's too expensive to give you all cybereyes and we don't want to pay your death stipend to your widows, it's far too expensive. If things are getting bad, run the heck away. We'd rather have your impressions of what happened because you can tell us of any spooky vibes or anything else that you sensed that our technology might not pick up. After all, if a person gets to where you are, they've bypassed our devices already. Don't be a hero. That's what we hire our own shadowrunners for.
#5. Before you pull out your own weapon, always, always, hit the panic button on your shoulder commlink first. If you see their gun, chances are you're going down. Runners are crazy insane people who are faster than a male jackrabbit around a female and if backup is on its way then you're more likely to get healing in time and survive and we all want you to survive, right?
#6. Never let anyone through unless they appear on the paper security list or your direct supervisor is there saying that it's ok. I don't care if God, Dunkelzahn, Lowfwyr, or your bosses' bosses' boss comes walking in, if they're not on the list, they don't get in. If the CEO comes walking in, you can bet that we all, including your immediate supervisor, will be there kissing his butt and your immediate supervisor will then authorize you to let the group in. Nobody can get you fired for not letting them through if their name isn't on the list. In fact, sometime during your first week, we will test you -- we will have a crazy convincing guy come up to you then start verbally assaulting your when you won't let him in. If you let him through, you will be fired. Don't let a person through if their name isn't on the list.
#7: Never engage in a fair fight. This isn't a boxing match, or a duel, your honor isn't on the line. Your life and our business is at stake. Use every dirty trick at your disposal, attack only when you have an obvious and overwhelming advantage, and when at all possible do not let any shadowrunners gain an advantage over you. If you are ever evenly matched or at a disadvantage, disengage and regroup with others until you *do* have the advantage. Believe that the criminals who you are facing will be looking to do the same thing. However, you're on friendly territory. That's an advantage you can't lose, so make sure you use it.
Now, gentlemen, if you'll open the blue test booklet in front of you and follow along with me while I read the directions...
...
For those of you who have passed the initial aptitude test, I have trids here of security footage, astral scans, and matrix overwatch from seven different shadowruns on rival and associate corporations. All footage was obtained within the last six months, so these are current, real-world tactics you're about to see. These are not recreations. We will be discussing common shadowrun team tactics, how to resist these, and how to use these against the criminals themselves. Remember, anything they can do, we can do better.
[[Thanks, Dixie Flatline.]]