Was talking with someone about gag gifts to buy a certain dragon ceo for xmas...

Number one was: A statue of a gecko with fake gold plating on it.

And got to thinking what would be bad ideas for gifts that say an insane character would send some of the more powerful npcs in shadowrun.

Just thinking of dragons:

Lung - whoopiee cushions
Ghostwalker - barbie dolls ( doll maker always makes me snicker and think barbie boy)
Hulpa (or any feathered serpent) - feather dusters

Probablby come up with more and post them, but want to hear others

Ryumyo - Feng Shui For Dummies
Rhonabwy - any of those albums where dogs bark the songs, like Jingle Bells
Samantha Villiers - Self-help books on cutting strings after the divorce
Thomas Roxburough - Exercise equipment.

Damein Knight: How to Play the Stockmarket for Dummies

Aithne Oakforest: Roses, either cut or for planting, and any rose related product. Also, a lotion for painful skin lesions.

Harlequin: "Ten Steps To Get Out Of Online Game Addicition", The collected works of Erhan the Scribe, a lifetime subscription to Hellgate: London

Erhan the Scribe: Anything clown related, a NuYou coupon for a clone replacement of a lost ear.

Aina DuPree: Absinthe

Brightlight: Shares in Transys Neuronet, a trip to Venice

Urdli: "How To Not Be An Unbearable Prick In 10 Easy Lessons"

Hestaby: Dunkelzahn memorabilia, especially plushies and ice cream.

Lofwyr: A portrait of himself as a Chibi

Celedyr: A trip somewhere he cannot go virtually.

Hualpa: Lifetime supply of Aztech products

Thomas Roxborough: a mirror

Gerraint Llanfrenchfa: Shares in Transys Neuronet or HKB

Serrin Shamadar: "Why Reincarnation Is A Lie: A Deconstruction Of The Elven Myths"

Sherman Huang: /dev/grrl's term paper based on her reading Brainscan (at least after Time printed it, and he cannot keep it contained anymore)

Derek Montgomery: A grow your own ant hive set.

Twist: A surprise visit by Hart, Sally, an avatar of Dog and the ghost of his former wife, each unaware the others are coming too. THAT will need some serious explaining.

Brightlight : lightbright playsets...

Oh, you're so not on his Christmas card list anymore.


I like this. Both at the same time. "Choose wisely, Caimbreul..."


Now that's just mean-spirited.

Hey, lucky me he doesn'T send the Wild Hunt after me.


*giggle* We will have to someday soon anyway.


Nah, "Raising a child with disabilities: Strategies for a happy life" would have been.

Slamm-O!: A box of condoms and a reminder program for his commlink

Ryan Mercury: A drake-sized collar labeled as "From: Ghostwalker"

Hualpa: Gift certificate for Aztechnology

Rhonabwy: Spock ears (think about it)

Perianwyr: "Remastered" Beatles collection with auto-tune and added synth

Maria Mercurial: "How to Gain a Photographic Memory"

Schwartzkopf: "Magic for Dummies"

Fastjack: A walker and arthritis cream.

Oh, and one more pops into my mind...since someone did Aithne Oakforest and roses, I think I'll contribute a dragon-sized toothpick.

Aiden: Anger management guide for dummies (well most dragons)

Pretty much any dragon as well : Plushie version of them that sings the I love you song from Barney

Hey now some dragons would love to have a plush of themselves.

Sirrug: A model airplane.
Alamais: A single share of S-K stock.

Non-voting. Also, a copy of the anarchist's manifesto, and a ticket for the annual Berlin RagnaRock festival.

Masaru: A Japanese language primer.
Kenneth Brackhaven: A bottle of Wild Turkey, a christmas card from his daughter that reeks of tempo and a revolver with a single bullet.

Dunkelzahn (before his death, obviously): a replacement heart.

Haze: Narcotics anonymous handbook

Netcat: Diapers and a faraday cage

Kane: A box full of ninjas

Hannibelle: Brain stir fry with a nice glass of chianti

Turbo Bunny: Need for Speed BTL

Ecotope: A leaky oil drum emblazoned with the letters B and P

Nah, she'd like that ... I'm more for a lifetime subscription to Resident Evil Online, and the complete edition of all Resident Evil games.


Nice.

Dragons : lifetime supply of milkbone treats, with the mint sparkles for fresh breath (works best for Cerb)

for some reason, I tend to think of ways to piss off certian big lizards with lots of sharp teeth... go figure

I was considering going the zombie route, but figured I'd go for a more subtle jab on this one. Can't ghouls only eat raw meat and not drink alcohol? (probably wrong about the alcohol, that might be vamps only)

Oh this is good. You made me cackle.
Perhaps we could also add, "A packet from the Orphanage labelled, 'Details On Your Birth Family!'"

I see what you did there, but that is SO 3rd Edition.

At least, I don't remember that must be raw requirement in RC, and Hanibelle recommends a cannibal restaurant in the Neo-Tokyo bit of Runner Havens where she often goes when in town.

It's assumed because most ghouls don't get a lot of flesh, so they tear through it as quickly as possible - plus they don't mind it being uncooked. There is the cannibal restaraunt, but I also believe that flesh is synthetic.

Most of it.

Continuing on!

President Colloton - A year's subscription to the New Revolution newsletter and a copy of the old flick "I Know What You Did Last Summer."

For Anne Penchyk -- A copy of the Euphoria sim, Adventures of the Hive Queen. Send a second copy along to the head of the N'Draghetta (I forget her name).

Hannibelle: Sunglasses. You can tell I know basically nothing about the canon NPCs

DunzelK: A Voodoo Doll of Himself.

Dodger: A copy of the 2054 issue of Computer Shopper with the three-page centerfold of the SCIRE cluster hardware.

Well played. I was looking for a way to burn him like that. Best I could come up with was a fleshlight with a usb adapter

Awesome.

Sean Laverty: A wheelchair, hair removal lotion, and a victorian style mansion in NY state.

Crass and offsensive well-wishes? I'm your guy.


General Saito: A gift certificate to the 2070 (re)opening of the San Fransisco Benihana.
Talon: A copy of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
Conversely, Trouble: A copy of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

Ryan Mercury: An artificial heart.
Argent: a CrashCart Super Diamond lifetime subscription
Rhownaby: A fish tank with a sea drake (female) in it, and a letter where only "you'll never get closer than this" is written.

Nadja Daviar: An egg incubator.

I am unsure why this is funny.

It's a rip on the Sea Dragon, another British-based (possibly) Great Dragon that lives in the sea. Rhonny is sweet on her.

The Sea Dragon. Only Geat Leviathan there is, apparently. They have an interesting love-hate relationship

For that matter, you could send the Sea Dragon a holopic of a clutch of eggs, with Hestaby's wings wrapped around them maternally.
I mean, if you're looking to piss off all the dragons, we can't forget her.

That is very true.

Hitomi Shiawase: A full edition of the Vampire Lesbians From Space comic.

Art Dankwalter: An umbrella.

Heh. One of those comically undersized ones, like the Coyote has in the Road Runner cartoons when a boulder's about to splat him.

Absolutely. If I ever had control of a THOR system, I would send each and every one of my targets one of those umbrellas with a tiny camera and wireless transmitter on it, so I could see the looks on their faces before the round hit.

*giggle* we do dead people too?

In that case:

Shizaro Aneki: a copy of the old movie "7 years in Tibet"
Lucien Cross: a new paint job for his private airplane that depicts a beautiful angel with burning wings, and rechristening the plane Fallen Angel.

Also, we already had him, but ...
Damian Knight: A copy of the first ebook ever published of Alice in Wonderland.

I would've gone with a parachute, but that's just me.

Oh, and for Pax: A three-for-one coupon to Matrix Addicts Anonymous

For Karen King: A postcard from Detroit that says, "Wish You Were Here."

Deus: An E-book edition of "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Ah ha, got it.

(Also: "Rhonabwy" is spelled with a "w")

OK, now this one, I don't get.

In the novel where she was introduced she was in love with a lesbian vampire.

*slow, confused blink*

Must be one of the later novels, I'd mostly stopped reading them by then.

Yes, was one of the later novels.

Edit: Psychotrope

Peregrin: A doll.

Hmmm...

Lofwyr: A gift certificate for a year of Scrambled Egg Breakfast Slams signed "Glasgian"

Martin de Vries: A case of True Blood

Jet Black: [Spoilers] A case of True Blood too[/spoilers]

Silvery K: An all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas and low-strength sunscreen

The Smiling Bandit: "Biology for Dummies" and a watch (okay, the last bit is both old and obscure...The Smiling Bandit wiped his time stamps back when those were used in Shadowtalk sections)

That's all I've got for now...