Inspired by the legendary 'Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries', I feel that we at dumpshock can compile a shadowrunning equivalent... then sell them at the local stuffer shack

BTW I know that this is almost certainly not an original thread... But I don't care. This should be fun.

#1: Shoot Straight.
#2: Conserve Ammo
#3: Watch Your Back
#4: Never Cut A Deal With A Dragon
#5: There Is No Overkill, Only 'Keep Firing' And 'I Need To Reload'
#6: DGIF. Drones Go In First
#7: There Is No Problem That Cannot Be Solved With Enough Firepower
#8: It Should Be Possible To Distinguish Between Friendly Fire And Close Air Support

#9: Geek the Mage first

#10 If it sounds too good to be true, you're being double-crossed.

11. Never trust an elf.

12. It isn't a real shadowrun unless the Johnson's tried to screw you over at least twice.

13. If you ever thought that violence is not a solution, you've never owned a Panther assault cannon.

14. Time spent preparing is time not spent in an Auto-Doc.
15. Nothing is ever easy.

16. The last easy day happened before you were born.

17. Even in the future, nothing works.

Paraphrased from the Liaden book series since I can't find the exact quote.

18. When it comes to ones allies there are two things to consider. Can they shoot, and will they shoot your enemies.

I find that most of the Seventy Maxims themselves are applicable to Shadowrunning.

19: Loot, THEN burn.
20: If the Demo man turns and legs it, try to keep up.
21: Close Air Support covereth a mulitude of sins. Get some.
22: If you can't tell the close air support from the friendly fire, the Rigger's betrayed you.
23: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
24: If the food is good enough, getting shot at doesn't sting so much.
25: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's when you've got the object of your ridicule tied down.
26: Never turn your back on an enemy. Ever.
27: Sometimes the only way out is through... Through the wall.
28: Everything is air-droppable at least once.
29: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
30: Do unto others.
31: Only you can prevent friendly fire.
32: Your name is in the mouth of others. Make sure it has teeth.
33: The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.
33a: If everything goes according to plan, Mr. Johnson is doublecrossing you for sure. Hire a backup team to support you at the handoff.
34: If Mr. Johnson is leading from the front, watch for attack from behind.
35: If you're not willing to throw grenades close to your friends, you're not willing to win.
36: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take away his fish and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. Come back a third day and he's going to shoot at you.
37: If you can see the chrome of their cybereyes, everything is probably going according to plan.
38: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
39: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
40: If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammo home.
41: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. Nothing more, nothing less.
42: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
43: Only cheaters prosper.
44: If you're leaving scorch marks, you need a bigger gun.
45: That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
46: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
47: Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on Mr. Johnson.

48: Plan B does, indeed, work.

If we're going to steal them whole hog we aught to at least keep the numbering right and include a link so that others can see the glory that is Schlock Mercenary

I have a rule 35 name badge holder for my con badges now and enough Tagon's Toughs D6's to play Shadowrun. Probably my best purchases from Gencon.

49: If If looks stupid, and it works, it's not stupid.
50: Recon and Intel are no substitute for firepower. The reverse is usually true.

51. Meticulously plan a run for 3 hours then bust in through the front door, guns blazing.

52. It's Panther cannon time!
53. Take the money and run, what happens afterwards is not your problem.
54. Trust your team to do their jobs, don't trust them to keep yourself alive--that is your problem.

55. There's no such thing as "too paranoid". Only "not paranoid enough".





-k

56. There's no such thing as a fair fight.

Summed up best in the scene from Game of Thrones. "You, sir, fight without honor!" *Points down mile-high hole his enemy was just thrown down* "Yeah, but he did."

._.

Rule 35 actually, funny slip.

#57: The Decker Always Dies!
#58: If you are up, and someone asks, you must get them a beer.
#59: You don't mess with another man's automobile.

These are usually the first, second and third rules, but still...

What about his motorbike, ten-speed bicycle, unicycle, monocycle, Pegasus, or horse?

All inadvisable and massively uncool.
Blow up a man's house, snipe him from miles away, kill him with ritual magic, kidnap his family or skin him alive if you must but never, never mess with another man's automobile. It's just against the rules.

Leave the pony out of this too >_>

From the designated marksmen or resident assault cannon user.
#60 : If something is still standing after I shoot it twice. The team should run because I'm already gone.

61: Smash N Grab plans DO indeed work (most of the time) - have a plan B when they dont.

62: Never overplan, keep it simple stupid - See 61.

Old Man Jones would disagree with you.

Then again, when asked, "Wait, you have a plan for if a dragon just randomly shows up?" He said, "Yes."

He's also fond of the quote, "I dislike the term 'Plan B'. It implies I only have 26 of them."




-k

63. I've never considered thinking too much a bad thing.

Double post...

{over the radio}
Hardison: Goin' to Plan B.
Nate: Technically, that's Plan G.
Hardison: How many plans you got? Is there a Plan M?
Nate: Yeah. Hardison dies in Plan M.
Eliot: I like Plan M.
- Leverage, Pilot Episode

AKA Black Trenchcoat Shadowrun if you got rid of the cyberpunk and magic. Showrunner John Rogers (avid gamer, writer for Dungeons & Dragons, and author of the current D&D comic series) has not refuted my statement and has admitted to being a Shadowrun fan on his blog.

Hardison somehow survives Plan M, when they do have to pull it out, BTW.

They obviously didn't do it right then.

#63: Few plans survive contact with your allies. None of those that do will survive contact with the enemy.
#64: Never say your plan aloud. Murphy is listening.

#65: In fact, tempt ye not Murphy. EVER!

#66 Fortune does not favor the bold. It favors the one with more firepower.

#67: The biggest gun in the world is useless if not present on the battlefield.
#68: The best armour in the world can still be penetrated with a big enough gun. The only way to be certain of not getting hurt is not getting hit.

69) Anyone who says that no plan survives contact with the enemy sucks at planning.

#70: Explosives linked to a Bio-meter is only an effective deterrent if your enemy knows about them.
#71: Shadowrunners can't count.

#72: If you're leaving scorch marks, you need to steal a bigger gun.

#73: If you have more than the gutter for a living space and a bottle for company, you're living above your means.

#74: You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone
#75: Plan B is not twice as much explosives as plan A.
#76: Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet. - Gen. James Mattis
#77: Victory does not always rest with the big guns: but, if we rest in front of them we shall be lost.

#78 If a gutter for living space and a bottle for company is the extent of your means then you are a hobo not a Shadowrunner.
#79 In planing, guns, and vehicles you are often best served choosing the ones with the least number of moving parts that still gets the job done.

#80: Train using iron sights. When your smartgun is compromised, having an unjammable and unhackable fallback will save your life.

I think you meant
"Get a Red Dot sight and put it on the top of your gun. Just as a good as a laser sight in terms of being backup to a smartlink, without being an emission source."

Iron sights don't run out of batteries

#81: Buy the best gear you can, but train with the worst. You never know, that gutter-punk trash holdout pistol you found in a dumpster might save your life someday.





-k

who had his Mission character spend 20,000 nuyen on garbage guns that he trains with in addition to his normal weapons

#82: There are two ways to survive the Shadows; have power on par with a mega-corp or be anonymous. It's the rare runner who manages the first one, so be anonymous if you want to live.

#82a: Except in LA.

#83: Never trust easily but once you trust, never give it up easily, it will save your life. (Also known as "No One Gets Through Life Alone", "No Man Is An Island", or "Teamwork Hax")

#84: Always have a Plan C, when Plan B falls apart. Plan D should be a bug-out plan, as everything else has fallen apart. Know when to stick, know when to run.

Hilarious show, I just started watching it. Still in the first season.

character and plot development is interesting but the runs and their abilities become a bit over the top.