Alright so I am rolling up and creating a backstory for one of my main henchmen.

He is gonna be a bastard child of the dead Emperor Kenichi and a female Korean Yakuza Ninja (a korean woman who moved to Japan when she was young and became a ninja for the Japanese Yakuza).

And he is also gonna be a vampire btw just to add to his shame of being ostracized by the Japanese mainstream society.

The story goes like this. So this extremely unlucky guy has the stigma of not only being Emperor Kenichi's bastard child but whose mother is a female Korean Yakuza Ninja. '

For the Japanese Emperor to have an affair is bad enough but to do it with a Korean who is also a Yakuza AND a Ninja? That is gonna fuck things up.

On top of that, this guy got infected and became a vampire. So now you have Japanese security types from every j-corp, j-government agency and even old way yakuza trying to assassinate him because they do not want him assassinating the current emperor and taking the throne for himself.

Even if this guy doesn't have an ambition of taking the japanese throne, he still must be eliminated to make way for the extended family relatives of Japanese Emperor Kenichi to become Emperor if the current Emperor indeed gets assassinated.

I mean, cmon, imagine a vampire half-korean, yakuza ninja bastard child on the japanese throne. Fuck that is like the worst disaster for Japan ever even worse than the surrender of Japan during WW2.

So this guy comes to my own PC for revenge and I help him form a corp (with my own organization providing the money and owning most of the shares in his corp of course) to get a substantial amount of shares in EVO making him a 25% shareholder of EVO and placing him as the biggest shareholder of EVO shares, even higher than buttercup. Of course, I had to rewrite history.

Well, in case you guys get any ideas, I am handling this vampire half-korean bastard on a very tight leash with spirit possession, triad mystic rite initiations and all other juicy stuff to keep him bound to me.

Question is.. how would you write things up to ensure his life gets complicated further?

why evo?

there isn't a single AAA corp in the history of mankind who has a board of directors and shareholders as diverse as evo's.. a free spirit for a majority shareholder, an ork for a chairman.. hey i think adding a vampire to the board is just gonna spice things up..

Hold on, hold on...


You mean there is ANOTHER F****** yakuza ninja bastard child of the late Emperor?

Granted the other one is a fox shapeshifter and not Infected, but come on!!

What the hell was going on over there and who the frag was in charge of security or at least in charge of screening his mistresses????


ShaggingRun™

Where runners battle it out over nympho geishas to make sure their mistress gets to the Royal Bed.

That's a very good question.

How about none of the above being real, instead he's simply some homeless guy who was implanted with a personachip to make him believe all that?

With onions.

Yes.

Alternatively, he was set on fire and now has to live with horrific scars across his entire body.
Because Fire is the answer to everything.

Hamster Jelly.

Devotee of the Almighty Elvis?

Absolute pure gobbledygook. I must have one!

Well, I suppose that you could have him be either gay or transgendered. I'd guess that might annoy someone too...

You have got to be trolling.

That sounds like an SCA Scottish prince who was kidnapped by vikings, enslaved and raised by pirates, escaped in Japan by a ninja clan, trained as a ninja, and escaped back to Scotland personas. Just so the guy can justify walking around with a kilt and katana, instead of just admitting that he's a Highlander wanna-be.

(SCA= Society for Creative Anachronisms, allegedly a medieval reenactment group, in reality a quasi-fantasy LARP)

Woah! You knew Ichi-MacGrath 'Red Hands' ap MacGunderson-san too?

Say what you will, they can and do make a decent mead and turkey legs delivered by full figured lasses wearing corsets and plunging necklines.

Good times indeed.

Personally I enjoyed SCA for the ability to dress up in armor and wail on each other. The rest of it was a renn fair without all the props. Fun but not to be taken seriously.

First, there is no way this guy gets to be Emperor, no matter who he kills or how badly he wants it. Feudal succession does not work that way. Illegitimate offspring do not get to inherit. If he manages to assassinate the reigning Emperor, he is the Emperor's assassin; no more, no less. He instantly becomes the most wanted man in Asia, possibly the most wanted man on Earth. Every Japanese intelligence and police agency, right down to the beat cops in the tiniest, most out-of-the-way fishing villages are going to be looking for him. There is no way he remains alive and free more than a week, and that's if he's breathtakingly lucky. Moreover, most, if not all, J-corps will be looking for him themselves, out of a combination of nationalist outrage and a desire to score points with the incoming Emperor by being able to present him with the head of his predecessor's murderer.

Basically, assassinating a head of state is either an elaborate method of suicide or a one-way ticket to a prison cell, depending on where you are.

Secondly, there is no way a Korean Yakuza ninja got anywhere near the Emperor. All three of those things are non-starters, but put them together and you have your ninja-pirate-zombie-robot courtesan being abducted by Imperial spooks before she and the Emperor ever set eyes on each other, tortured for every scrap of information she has, and then shot twice in the back of the head and fed through a woodchipper.

I'm all for a little pink mohawk now and then, but this mohawk is so pink it's visible from orbit.

Wot Tanegar said.

Plus, I don't think you realize how seriously the Japanese take their emperor. In all the civil wars that Japan suffered, the line of the emperor (and his family) remained unbroken. The shoguns may have forced the sitting emperor to marry their daughter, or allow the shogun's son to marry the emperor's daughter, but the line continues to the beginning of the Japanese state. At least 1200 years of succession within the family. A bastard usurper wouldn't stand a chance.

I'm guessing that, combined with your security corp post, this is a new breed of trolling?

Actually, it is pretty much SOP/BAU for Pattyhulez...