Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your SIN first, sir?"

Customer: "Um, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive, and the LTG's 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care
provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Dang . What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure
you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes to 49:nuyen:."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit authorization number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
a little awkward."

Customer: "How the heck do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd
be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
from offering free soda to diabetics."

*Not all of it fits for SR that well, but for the most part it's pretty appropriate.*

I've seen this somewhere before...

Hmm. I'm not buying the following scenario...

This has been done on the boards before, though.

~J

It was posted here less than a year ago.

Reposts make baby Jesus cry.

Everytime you repost God kills a kitten?

I'd also like to add, I don't think any business would let their phone receptionists have that much access to a customer's data. Hell, in 2060 you probably won't even call to order a pizza. Just punch in a few things on the home telecom and it'll show up in 30 minutes. I order most of my pizza from the web these days already...

I picture it more like this:

Me : <walking past kitchen>
Telecom : "Dinner will be here in twenty minutes."
Me : "Great, what're we having?"
Telecom : "I ordered pizza in celebration of your promotion."
Me : "Alright, I got the bonus! You think we could splurge and get sausage and onion on it?
Telecom : "No sausage. I'm concerned about the high cholesterol ratings from your doctor. However... <pause> onion can be added."
Me : "Aargh, not onion alone."
Telecom : "Noted."
Me : "What about a movie?"
Telecom : <pause> "Selection downloaded. I've scheduled you for three hours overtime to compensate."
Me : "Ultra, Tele. Would you call Dave for me?"
Telecom : <pause> "Dave is currently unreachable; would you like me to call Marsha instead?"
Me : "Yeah, that'd be-"
Telecom : "Connecting."
Marsha : "Hey Kanada! Tele e'mailed about the promotion! Congratulations."
Me : "Thanks Marsha. Would you and Dave want to come over for a movie?"
Marsha : "Maybe, let me see... Commie, when will Dave be home?"
Telecom2 : <pause> "Dave is fulfilling his Mandatory Three Hour Random Civil Service at the moment. He will finish at 18:37 and-"
Marsha : "What?! I didn't get a notice!"
Telecom2 : "The Bureaucratic Central Systems just informed me for this. Shall I register a complaint?"
Me : "Those things get worse every day. Funny how they managed to tell Dave he had to work, huh?"
Marsha : "If you can wait, I think Dave will want to see a movie after this."
Me : "No problem. Tele, can you schedule a time?"
Telecom and Telecom2 : "Engagement arranged. Dave and Marsha will arrive at 19:28 for movie."
Telecom : "Social functions must cease by 22:47, Kanada. Sleep requirements of-"
Me : "Ok, ok, Tele. Sheese."
Marsha : "C'ya later, Ten."
Me : "Bye Marsha."
Telecom : "Connection terminated." <pause> "Your dietary supplement is ready."
Me : "I'll drink it before dinner."
Telecom : "It is important to maintain a proper-."
Me : "I said I'll drink it." <sigh>

Anyone who read that and wouldn't want to kill themselves if that was RL, raise your hand. (So I may kill you.)

I wouldn't, because I'd be too busy killing the people willing to give out their SIN to get pizza.

~J

Heh, I was waiting for the Snowcrash reference... It's the delivery that's the fun side, not the ordering.

You car picks up the pizza on its way back from the lube change, but, of course, it forgets the napkins.

I would be very surprised if pizza ordering included a human. We are only as far as reliable voice recognition systems away from an adequately interactive telephone system to do the job today. By 2060 given SR tech advancement I doubt any but the cheapest and the most expensive eating establishments will have an actual metahumon taking orders/reservations.

Every time you repost God kills a kitten?

Well I don’t like cats.

Edward

Every time you repost God kills a kitten?

Well I don’t like cats.

Edward

Every time you repost God kills a kitten?

Well I don’t like cats.

Edward

Every time you repost you are one step closer to banned.

Personally, I think there will be a movement to live hosts as a backlash against the 2040s fully automagical world. "What are people for?"

When this thread last appeared on DSF, Feb 15 2004, 09:55 PM, I was still a happy, naive person. Behold the Snow Crash comment from that thread:

Ah, the Deliverator.

One could almost cry reading this thread... it's giving me a headache.

Who said what? When? Where's my damn pizza?



You know, when I first looked here I thought it might be something about, I don't know, teenage orks on mopeds zipping through traffic - What's the TN modifier to hit one of those?

Eh, straight up ramming test.

Even in the future, they're still worth 10 points each (5 for peds)

With a bonus for snagging yourself some pizza as it falls back to earth?