No, it's a goat.

An ubergoat.


In explanation, I was reading the Normal Critters table in Critters today, and noticed that while Horses have only a x4 running multiplier, goats, the speedy lil' beggars, have x6. Making them faster than a leopard. Now, I'm no zoologist, but that to me sounds rather insane. Yes, Kid Stealth proved that hooves are speedy, but this is crazy talk.

I was sure this was a typo, horses could have been intended to have x6, goats x4, I would understand that. But there's nothing in the errata. Should there be?

If not, I may have to design a run around a researcher hiring my players to track down and bring back a living specimen of a powerful paranimal with strange abilities of near-magical haste... The common goat.

The Awakening has affected every living thing in unusual ways. Umm... yeah.

Yeah, I noticed this to and made cybergoats with a reinforced spine and cyber-horns for the sake of using the crash a car into it effect on runners.

So I take it that this little problem really gets your goat then.

*makes a mental note to outfit a vicious herd of goats with cyberhorns and chemical glands to guard a compound*

All shall fear the paranormal cyber-hellgoats!

You know, this is starting to remind me of the cyberdeer that my gm populated some woods with. I was never able to track down exactly where they were coming from so my gm keeps saying she's going to send me up against some more.

I twitch everytime she says it too. Can't help but think about sitting in a tree, watching a herd of deer with binoculars, trying to track them back to where they came from. One deer was standing a little bit off of the others, so I took a closer look at it. I adjust my binoculars to get the image nice and crispy. Just as the critter is coming into focus, I see moonlight glint off of the now fully extended, telescoping, turret-mounted rifle attached to it's shoulder blades.

Hell yeah I screamed like a little bitch.

I love the cyber-deer. It seemed so fitting.

Disclaimer: All Cybernetic Deer In This Campaign Run on Linux.

[TWITCH]
See, here she is to gloat.
[/TWITCH]

Oh come on, you say you're writing on DS and I of course get interested.
It's a girl...it's a geek...it's a GM...it's...your girlfriend.

Yeah, I know and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I know you just showed up because you like the idea of causing traumatic harm.

Not that I'm complaining, that was one seriously fun session.

Delightfully twisted. Sadly, all I've managed to traumatize my runners with so far is bunnies with cranial bombs.

The troll street sam can no longer pass a pet shop without cowering in fear.

That's pretty sweet. Next you need to introduce them to the Monty Python rabbit.

Oh, we already had one of the runners exclaim.

"Oh look! Bunnies!"

To with the troll sam replied (in his best Tim the enchanter voice): "With nasty BIG POINTY TEETH!"