On topic? This is a Prime, Grade-A example of potent quotables.

Okay, that's it. Everyone in this thread dies. You were warned.

Don't have a cow, man.

He's going to make mincemeat out of us.

We're going to be the victims of Abtruse's own brand of justice!

That kind of violent threat could make a stampede!

These puns are making me absolutely curdle.

But they aren't that terrible. Some of these Dumpshockers can be like a bull in a china shop.

People are just being sour.

One would have to be a bit bull headed to further comment on this.

Our GM's wife plays with us, he manages her character's design, and she plays it.

GM - Damn, I forgot your character sheet, honey, but it's okay, I know most of the dice pools.
Wife - Nope. Write out a new sheet.
GM - We're late getting started already, it'd take too long.
Wife - It's your marital duty!
GM- *Sighs, scribbles out a few words, slides over a sheet of recently-blank paper.*

It reads simply: 14 dice.

The page and a half of puns were neat. It's a shame to put something like that behind us, but aparently Abstruse belives such threads to be sacred. Someone should save the rough draft of those though, because such a thing truly was epic. An additional thumbs-up to all the mavericks who refused to be cowed by Abstruse.

Fffff. We can mosey on with the rest of the herd when we like.

Okay, half of those weren't even cow puns. You die slowest.

1) A Neat is a horned cow.

2) Cows are sacred in India.

3) Cows are draft animals.

4) Mavericks are unbranded bovines (male or female) in North America.

5) Doesn't need explanation.

You need to read up on your cow facts, boy-o.

It might be time to hoof it. We're whey off topic, and some of these puns are smelling of a dairy-air. I'd stop if I wasn't hyped up on calf-iene. Abstruse at this point would never have herd of it if someone hadn't been a cattle-tail, but maybe we can make things butter for him. With little prodding, I think I can cowculate our chances of getting a shank. Enough ribbing, though -- I think we may have been grilled enough. As I've said to my friend Charles, "Keep your feet on the ground Chuck."

And now you know the roast of the story.

Dear $Diety in $Afterlife, what have I unleashed upon this forum???

*Sees the Devil's Herd being chased by the Ghost Riders in the sky*

I did not do that. I blame the Toxic Shaman.

Lucky for you the start was either Martain or me.

Now wait just a minotaur, that's bull, trying to pin all this on me. It behooves you to remember that although I made the first pun I certainly wasn't trying to rope you cowpokes in to following me.

Herd mentality.

Well I certainly didn't Buffalo you folks into doing this!

I just commented on my adventure that involved a coked up cow.

... opening the door for drug puns ...

Was it at least a high profit mission?

Probably got a heck of a cut out of it.

You have to admit, the mission would weed out the less paranoid runners.

That smacks of GM fiat.

Can we speed this up please? I think Abstruse is about to blow...

I'll have you all stoned!

GM: "The job pays five thousand Nuyen a head."
Female Player: "Darn, I should've picked up that extra head."

Player 1: "Ooooh! Check out his aura!"
Player 2: "His aura is green, the color of money."

(After our Gnome shotgun-adept was urinated on by a bio-drone dog, while hiding in a cardboard box.)
Player: "I got pissed on, so I had to kill it."

Player: "I'm gonna have Swamp Thing, my plant spirit, appear on top of the van."

Player 1: "I'm going to tell the plant spirit to protect the gnome."
(GM describes the plant spirit using 'engulf' on the gnome, turning him into a gnome-faced Swamp Thing.)

GM: "There's a hell hound and a cyber dog standing in the hallway..."
Player: "I'm gonna cloooooooose the door."

(After Mage PC controls another PC to shoot a THIRD PC with a shotgun.)
Player 1: "Why'd you shoot the hooker?!"
Player 2: "IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!"

(Players are trying to pass a border checkpoint and are caught with a grenade.)
GM: "Sir, this is NOT a television remote."

(After a players fake SIN check botched.)
GM: Sir, are you aware that 1111111 is not a valid identification number?"

Player 1: "What did it say?"
GM: "Does your character speak German?"
Player 1: "No."
GM: "Then GERMAN GERMAN GERMAN GERMAN GERMAN."

The steaks were high.

Horrible, just like all the rest... No More Cow Jokes, they are Killing me...

"Are you getting hacked by a dog?!"

It explains itself.



OOC chatter:

"Bull in a china shop!"
"And so you're -aware-, it's a MINOTAUR in a china shop! Big difference, damnit!"
"Bull."
"Bite me."
"No thanks, I'm trying to cut back on red meat."

Bahaha, great cow quotes guys, I love'd it.

Don't you mean Mooohohoho?

XD

How not to do a drug deal:

Jukebox: I'd like to buy some drugs.
Alex Littletree: Who the fuck are you?
Jukebox: Um....<leaves>

Also, while being Noxious Breathed upon:

Swift Hinola: Yeaaah spirit! Eat my puke!

The players have learned how killing small animals can muddy the waters astrally, and are later asked to fake a death:

Swift Hinola: We know all about fake death. Got some chickens?

Swift Hinola is a devout Muslim gunslinger who's not big on the Awakened, and has trouble working for a particular KRB Irish militant Johnson:

Torsalo: You're not coming to the meet?!
Swift Hinola: NO! I'm not going to a BAR to meet a LEPRECHAUN!

One particular run going poorly:

Swift Hinola: ...I got shot.
Rhys, with a recent bullet wound to the head: Yeah, join the club!

The GM, me, explaining why Renraku is trying to kill them in the simplest possible terms: "It's like killing the hooker in GTA, only you guys are the hookers."

Leo the face, betraying the group to Ares, as Jukebox commandeers the bus down Lake Street in Minneapolis (a major street):

* Knight Errant officer: "Uh...got word a dwarf with a rocket launcher just jacked the 21. That sound like your buddies to you?"
* Leo: ...*laughs hysterically* "Oh, that's them, all right."

# We meet at Ida's place of employment: The Lucky Dragon

* Rhys: "Do you have Pork Lo Mein?"
* Ida: "Yes. But I don't recommend it."
* Jukebox: " Not very good?"
* Ida: "You could say that. More like 'not very pork.' Notice that there aren't many dogs around here."

Wait, they're using real meat? That sounds amazing, regardless of the source!

This must be what they mean when people say 4e got less grim and less dark. Now we're up to dog meat. That's the high life.

I like that. I just get this image of this very Michael Cera-like runner, sheepishly staring at the drug dealer for a few moments before wandering off with his head down.

I could see that too. "No that's okay I get it, you don't know me and I don't know you and I was just sort of hoping you weren't a... narcotics officer."

*walks off*

Hey, weren't you the one who said SR4.5 was full of revolutionary veal? Consider this your pun-ishment.

This thread is udderly ridicilous and it seems that the pun-ishers arent gonna get cowed anytime soon.

COWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCO
WCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWC
O
WCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCOW

EDIT: See, I can do satire, too.

Why do you think the "Rat on a Stick" vendors in Touristville are so popular? "Real Traditional Ork Cooking"!

Tastes like chicken beef!

People need to stop spamming the forum with bad puns.

It was probably a cash cow!

Spam is a pork biproduct
no beef/cow included.

That's just an unacceptable pun.
Please report to BBQ Pit 72 for roasting.

That catch was...*puts on sunglasses*

Well done.


YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH