I am a huge fan of cheese burger brown's the Darthside and Simon of Space blogging style, and I am kind of inspired but how he narrates, so I am giving the narrative style a shot.

I am trying to lay down a storyline before I actually progress to a daily shadowrunner's blog.

I have been making steady progress on the story, but finding break points is a little hard at the moment, but I need advice on style. here is a sample.

The power of memory

i think you should scrap that bit introducing the shadowrun world to the reader. it's far too vague to show someone unfamiliar with the setting what it's like, and useless to someone who has experienced the game before.

useless setting material removed. -- thanks for the edit.

Does the work flow or is it confusing?