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> Dog Days, Captain Obvious points to new SR Fiction
Kagetenshi
post Apr 18 2006, 12:41 AM
Post #26


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QUOTE (New Seattle page 14)
The air around the metroplex remains relatively clean and clear by the standards of any major UCAS city, for which we can thank the weather patterns of the nearby Olympic Peninsula. Seattle suffers as many as thirty stage-one smog alerts annually, and breathing filters are as common as on the streets of cities like Los Angeles.


~J
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FanGirl
post Apr 18 2006, 12:52 AM
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QUOTE (hyzmarca @ Apr 17 2006, 07:38 PM)
The brutal deaths of the KE officers in the end provide this kind of cathartic release even though thye occur offscreen as it were. The KE officers are one deminsional "bad guys" and we can be happy to see them die. This type of scene allows the reader to wallow bloodlust without the slightest bit of guilt or shame. At this point in the story we are identifying more with Chester than we are with sticks. It is our snout that is burried iin that woman's entrails. It is we who are feasting unselfconsciously on our enemies flesh.

Really? Because I don't want to eat people's entrails. . .

. . .but I guess whatever you get out of the story is your business. As for me, I identified with Sticks the whole time, and I saw the scene as something more like "Oh no, my beloved dog has been warped into an evil killing machine."

Now, there's something you don't hear every day. :D
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emo samurai
post Apr 18 2006, 12:58 AM
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What if the people wanted to take you away in order to perform experiments on you? Chester was the justice of the street personified, revenge against those who persecute you. Stick invalidated it by deeming it evil and killing him over it.
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SL James
post Apr 18 2006, 01:11 AM
Post #29


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QUOTE (Ancient History)
QUOTE (SL James)
But at least I'm not harping on the writing like someone I showed this to, who read this line
QUOTE
Mr. Johnson dexterously pulls a hologram out from the inner pocket of his jacket.

and was asking exactly how one "dexterously" pulls something out of one's pocket.

With their right hand. ;)

You should have specified that in the story.

QUOTE (hyzmarca)
The brutal deaths of the KE officers in the end provide this kind of cathartic release even though thye occur offscreen as it were. The KE officers are one deminsional "bad guys" and we can be happy to see them die.

HAHAHA

So much for the webfiction submission guidelines

QUOTE (Web Fiction Submission Guidelines)
DON'T ...

  • Make antagonists into brainless, soulless cannon-fodder. They are people with lives, families, needs and fears. They may also have training, experience and budgets that equip them with the latest gear. In other words, they are not always a monolithic force, but they may not always be easily manipulated or mowed down, either.
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Ancient History
post Apr 18 2006, 01:14 AM
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It was a play-on-words, SL James. Lighten up.
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SL James
post Apr 18 2006, 01:16 AM
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I was being sarcastic.

BTW, since he called the police and KE officer showed up I guess this means KE finally won that ever-lucrative Seattle policing contract from LS.

In other news, Bill Loudoun was found in his office hanging from his tie.
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Ancient History
post Apr 18 2006, 01:18 AM
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Then my sincere apology for mistaking your subtle witticism at face value.
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bclements
post Apr 18 2006, 01:28 AM
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QUOTE
BTW, since he called the police and KE officer showed up I guess this means KE finally won that ever-lucrative Seattle policing contract from LS.

I'd missed this beforehand; that may have been a reason why there weren't any officers in response to this.
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Shrapnel
post Apr 18 2006, 01:42 AM
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QUOTE (bclements)
QUOTE
BTW, since he called the police and KE officer showed up I guess this means KE finally won that ever-lucrative Seattle policing contract from LS.

I'd missed this beforehand; that may have been a reason why there weren't any officers in response to this.

Actually, he ran from the murder scene. It wasn't until he stopped to call his fixer that the KE goons caught up to him.
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ShadowDragon8685
post Apr 18 2006, 01:45 AM
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I got the impression that the K-E that showed up was an animal containment squad sent to retrieve their guard doggie, not the 'Star.
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John Campbell
post Apr 18 2006, 01:51 AM
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Sticks is a fragging idiot. Get the RFID tag removed, and you then have your choice of:
  • Keep the dog. It's not that hard to look up "the care and feeding of cyberdogs" on the net, and loyal backup is always a good thing to have in the business.
  • Fence the dog intact. There have got to be people out there who'd pay for a cybered-out security dog, and undoubtedly a good bit more than a thousand nuyen.
  • Part it out. This is unlikely to bring as much profit as the previous option, but even without the meat, the 'ware has to be worth a pretty penny, and it might be safer than keeping the dog intact... if, y'know, you think that trying to kill a dog that has just demonstrated that it can take out three KE officers who kicked your ass is safer than giving it a bowl of kibble and KE liver and playing a bit of fetch until you can line up a buyer.

Or... you could kill the dog and leave it and the 'ware it's loaded with to rot in an alleyway. 'Cause that totally makes sense!
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SL James
post Apr 18 2006, 01:56 AM
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QUOTE (Ancient History)
Then my sincere apology for mistaking your subtle witticism at face value.

So does that stick up your ass have a stick up its ass, or are you just pouting because no one's really said anything good about the story?
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hyzmarca
post Apr 18 2006, 01:57 AM
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QUOTE (FanGirl)
QUOTE (hyzmarca @ Apr 17 2006, 07:38 PM)
The brutal deaths of the KE officers in the end provide this kind of cathartic release even though thye occur offscreen as it were. The KE officers are one deminsional "bad guys" and we can be happy to see them die. This type of scene allows the reader to wallow bloodlust without the slightest bit of guilt or shame. At this point in the story we are identifying more with Chester than we are with sticks. It is our snout that is burried iin that woman's entrails. It is we who are feasting unselfconsciously on our enemies flesh.

Really? Because I don't want to eat people's entrails. . .

. . .but I guess whatever you get out of the story is your business. As for me, I identified with Sticks the whole time, and I saw the scene as something more like "Oh no, my beloved dog has been warped into an evil killing machine."

Now, there's something you don't hear every day. :D

I hate Mars/Venus quips so instead of making one I'll ask,how do you feel about Rambo: First Blood part II?
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FanGirl
post Apr 18 2006, 02:14 AM
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QUOTE (John Campbell)
Sticks is a fragging idiot. Get the RFID tag removed, and you then have your choice of:


  • Keep the dog. It's not that hard to look up "the care and feeding of cyberdogs" on the net, and loyal backup is always a good thing to have in the business.

  • Fence the dog intact. There have got to be people out there who'd pay for a cybered-out security dog, and undoubtedly a good bit more than a thousand nuyen.

  • Part it out. This is unlikely to bring as much profit as the previous option, but even without the meat, the 'ware has to be worth a pretty penny, and it might be safer than keeping the dog intact... if, y'know, you think that trying to kill a dog that has just demonstrated that it can take out three KE officers who kicked your ass is safer than giving it a bowl of kibble and KE liver and playing a bit of fetch until you can line up a buyer.


Or... you could kill the dog and leave it and the 'ware it's loaded with to rot in an alleyway. 'Cause that totally makes sense!

And while you're taking further advantage of an animal that has spent its whole life being exploited, why not just walk up to a little old lady and punch her in the face? Just for kicks. One sock to the jaw and she'll go down like a sack of potatoes, and that's when you start kicking her in the ribs. Don't be afraid to body-slam her a couple of times, too: old people bones make a very satisfying crunching sound when they break. It's a great warm-up before you burn down the orphanage full of blind kids.

You cold-hearted meaniehead.

EDIT:
QUOTE (hyzmarca)
I hate Mars/Venus quips so instead of making one I'll ask,how do you feel about Rambo: First Blood part II?

Never saw it.
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Kagetenshi
post Apr 18 2006, 02:20 AM
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I told you already, orphanages cost double. You don't get the bulk discount until you're ordering at least five at a time.

~J
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Lindt
post Apr 18 2006, 02:26 AM
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Sigged.

It just seemed somehow, forced. Hyzmarca had it right. The only thing we had any chance of identifing with gets removed, and the end just kinda falls... Meh.
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FanGirl
post Apr 18 2006, 02:35 AM
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QUOTE (Kagetenshi @ Apr 17 2006, 09:20 PM)
I told you already, orphanages cost double. You don't get the bulk discount until you're ordering at least five at a time.

~J

Liar! You never told me that! :grr:
Awright then, how much would it cost to have you torch the free clinic across the street? Or the puppy farm two blocks down?
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Kagetenshi
post Apr 18 2006, 02:46 AM
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QUOTE (FanGirl)
Liar! You never told me that! :grr:

See 5, 5A, and 5B

QUOTE
Awright then, how much would it cost to have you torch the free clinic across the street?

Standard price.
QUOTE
Or the puppy farm two blocks down?

Are the puppies orphans?

~J
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coolgrafix
post Apr 18 2006, 03:07 AM
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QUOTE
So does that stick up your ass have a stick up its ass, or are you just pouting because no one's really said anything good about the story?

I considered my comment from the second post to be saying something good about the story. =)That, of course, before the rest of the peanut gallery chimed in and the thread turned a little meaner than one would probably like. But such is the way of things when folks stick something out in front of the world for comment.
QUOTE (coolgrafix @ Apr 17 2006, 02:49 PM)
A nice slice-of-SR-life sort of story, Dashiell Hammett style. Thought the ending was rather abrupt and out of pace with the rest of the story, though.

If you're a dog lover, it's seriously not going to brighten your day to read it. Be warned.

I appreciate the story itself, the time taken to craft it, and the insight it provides. Hats off to those who face the naked page.
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John Campbell
post Apr 18 2006, 03:42 AM
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QUOTE (FanGirl)
And while you're taking further advantage of an animal that has spent its whole life being exploited, why not just walk up to a little old lady and punch her in the face? Just for kicks. One sock to the jaw and she'll go down like a sack of potatoes, and that's when you start kicking her in the ribs. Don't be afraid to body-slam her a couple of times, too: old people bones make a very satisfying crunching sound when they break. It's a great warm-up before you burn down the orphanage full of blind kids.

You cold-hearted meaniehead.

Wait, suggesting that killing the dog and leaving it to rot in an alley might not be the best course of action makes me a grandmother-beating meaniehead?
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FanGirl
post Apr 18 2006, 04:01 AM
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You hit the nail on the head! ^_^
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hyzmarca
post Apr 18 2006, 04:06 AM
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QUOTE (FanGirl @ Apr 17 2006, 09:14 PM)
Never saw it.

How about Cobra, Conan the Barbarian, Mad Max, or any Steven Seagal movie?
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Kremlin KOA
post Apr 18 2006, 04:13 AM
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the dog licked my soup
HE MUST DIEEEEEEEEEEE
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James McMurray
post Apr 18 2006, 04:16 AM
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Where was the soup when he started licking? Your attitude may change completely if you just move the soup to a more "friendly" location.
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Wounded Ronin
post Apr 18 2006, 04:16 AM
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QUOTE (FanGirl)

And while you're taking further advantage of an animal that has spent its whole life being exploited, why not just walk up to a little old lady and punch her in the face? Just for kicks. One sock to the jaw and she'll go down like a sack of potatoes, and that's when you start kicking her in the ribs. Don't be afraid to body-slam her a couple of times, too: old people bones make a very satisfying crunching sound when they break.

BWAH HWAH HWAH HWAH HWAH!

Did you *intentionally* word that in the way designed to be the most funny-sounding way possible?

I think if you wanted to make that sound like a bad thing you could have at least made it sound Stephen King icky when describing it. But the way you describe it here it reads like a cartoon of a Mexican luchadore assaulting some Republican old lady who hates immigrants or something.
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