A few more additions.
Quotes taken from the 'rules of combat' are not welcome in my game. The moment someone says, "You are not Superman," I will in fact produce Kent Clark, the man of steel... well, titanium and molybdenum alloy.
Quotes taken from Sun Tzu. Mainly because the people who use them have never read The Art of War.
Anything having to do with off-color Confucianisms. "Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day," and things like that.
Anything from the Evil Emperor list. Mainly because those are the rules I use when planning my main villains out, and I don't like getting distracted.
Anything that sounds like it came from Flash Gordon or another serial.
"BIGGIEBIGGIEBIGGIEBIGGIEBIGGIE" -- Let Twiki die with the 80's.
Quotes from westerns. Okay, the more recent ones, sure, but start quoting Bonanza and you can find yourself a new game.
Quoting rap music, especially Eminem. Maybe my players are just the odd ones, here.
Anything having to do with any Anime series. You don't get too many quotes from these, though.
"Can I be a shapeshifter?"
"Can I be a vampire?"
"Can I be a dragon?"
"Can I be a drow elf?"
"Can I be a half-dragon?"
"Can I be a toxic shaman?"
"Can I be a dragon shapeshifter?"
"Can I be an otaku?"
"Can I be a shapeshifter vampire?"
"Can I be a half-elf?"
"Can I be a vampire dragon?"
"Why don't you allow Edges & Flaws in your game?"
"But I want to be able to use two swords. Why can't I have ambidexterity?"
"Why don't we have a rigger in the party?"
"How come you have a copy of Rigger 3?!?"
"Can I have a railgun?"
"Can I have a tank?"
"Can I have this weapon?" (Invariably the M-41 Pulse Rifle from Aliens)
"Can I have a pet dragon?"
I'm sure I can think of more...
Full Version: Quotes you never want to hear
"Can I have a panzer?"
followed by: "Why can't I have a panzer??"
here's my new fav: "What's w/ all the penalties? If I were here and you were on the other side of the table, like you are now, and I shot you w/ two guns I know I could blast the shit out of you. And I don't even know how to shoot a gun."
In close second: "Whats w/ all the penalties? I'm sure armor technology in 50+ years is good enough to make the armor thin enough so I could wear FFBA4, a vest w/ plates, armor clothing, and a long coat..."
(sigh) Sometimes, I think I liked better on the other side of the GM screen.
followed by: "Why can't I have a panzer??"
here's my new fav: "What's w/ all the penalties? If I were here and you were on the other side of the table, like you are now, and I shot you w/ two guns I know I could blast the shit out of you. And I don't even know how to shoot a gun."
In close second: "Whats w/ all the penalties? I'm sure armor technology in 50+ years is good enough to make the armor thin enough so I could wear FFBA4, a vest w/ plates, armor clothing, and a long coat..."
(sigh) Sometimes, I think I liked better on the other side of the GM screen.
This actually happened in a game I was running.
Player: I want a panzer, what's the fastest way to get one?
GM(me!): Well you can talk to some fixers, they can keep their eyes and ears open, you want it IN Seattle?
Player: Wouldn't do me much good in the Tir now would it?
GM:You can ask around.
So he asked around and basically fount out it would take a lot of time and the price would be impressive, he didn't like either.
Player: There has to be a faster way to get a Panzer, fully loaded and ready to go.
GM: Let me know when you find it. =)
Player: Have I ever SEEN a fully loaded Panzer in Seattle before?
GM: Sure remember that huge gang war in Redmond? The one just outside Touristville?
<Player nods>
You saw several there, remember Lone Star deployed heavy on the edge of Touristville? Those were fully loaded panzers.
Player: Those things kicked a lot of ass if I recall.
GM: Yessum, yessum they did.
Player: Well then, easiest would be to steal one from the Star.
GM: We may have different views on the term "easy"
Player: We'll see.
He then went on to rekindle the very same two gangs into war in the very same turf. Made sure to be there himself when Lone Star deployed in Touristville. He then successfully snuck into the back of a Lone Star Panzer (spending most of his karma opening the door undetected) during the commotion, was easily spotted by the rigger driving as soon as he set foot on board, all the while walking in on an astrally projecting mage cop and the earth elemental he had left behind to protect his unconscious body.
It did indeed appear we had different definitions of "easy". He is currently serving 15 years on Silcox Island in Tacoma.
Sunday
Player: I want a panzer, what's the fastest way to get one?
GM(me!): Well you can talk to some fixers, they can keep their eyes and ears open, you want it IN Seattle?
Player: Wouldn't do me much good in the Tir now would it?
GM:You can ask around.
So he asked around and basically fount out it would take a lot of time and the price would be impressive, he didn't like either.
Player: There has to be a faster way to get a Panzer, fully loaded and ready to go.
GM: Let me know when you find it. =)
Player: Have I ever SEEN a fully loaded Panzer in Seattle before?
GM: Sure remember that huge gang war in Redmond? The one just outside Touristville?
<Player nods>
You saw several there, remember Lone Star deployed heavy on the edge of Touristville? Those were fully loaded panzers.
Player: Those things kicked a lot of ass if I recall.
GM: Yessum, yessum they did.
Player: Well then, easiest would be to steal one from the Star.
GM: We may have different views on the term "easy"
Player: We'll see.
He then went on to rekindle the very same two gangs into war in the very same turf. Made sure to be there himself when Lone Star deployed in Touristville. He then successfully snuck into the back of a Lone Star Panzer (spending most of his karma opening the door undetected) during the commotion, was easily spotted by the rigger driving as soon as he set foot on board, all the while walking in on an astrally projecting mage cop and the earth elemental he had left behind to protect his unconscious body.
It did indeed appear we had different definitions of "easy". He is currently serving 15 years on Silcox Island in Tacoma.
Sunday
| QUOTE (Fortune) |
| "We're on a mission from God." This particularly applies to D&D games. |
In a D&D game? Yes cheesy. Everyone is on a mission from God!
But in SR? Don't tell me you've never had a chase scene through a mall in a stolen Lonestar Modified Americar!
Am I the only one that has had to suffer from "LET"S ROCK!" and "You will listen to my authoritie!"?
GM to me: I'd take pleasure in gutting you, BOY. 
(Quote from THE ROCK, for the uninformed)
(Quote from THE ROCK, for the uninformed)
'......FUCK......'
Anyone here, everyone everywhere, from time to no time...
Anyone here, everyone everywhere, from time to no time...
true story
Setting: old familiar group starting a new game with new characters. End of first combat session.
JIM the GM: OK we're out of combat time now and you have several injured party members.
party member #1: yeah, mage can you heal me?
Incompetent mage: don't have any healing spells.
party member #2: your combat spells suck and you have no healing spells? OH my GOD!
JIM the GM: I thought you were going to make this character useful to the party.
Incompetent Mage: "Dammit Jim I'm a magician not a doctor."
after 10 minutes of laughter 1 karma awarded to Incompetent mage for the greatest comeback line.
Setting: old familiar group starting a new game with new characters. End of first combat session.
JIM the GM: OK we're out of combat time now and you have several injured party members.
party member #1: yeah, mage can you heal me?
Incompetent mage: don't have any healing spells.
party member #2: your combat spells suck and you have no healing spells? OH my GOD!
JIM the GM: I thought you were going to make this character useful to the party.
Incompetent Mage: "Dammit Jim I'm a magician not a doctor."
after 10 minutes of laughter 1 karma awarded to Incompetent mage for the greatest comeback line.
Okay, I know this only pertains to my group, but if I ever have to hear the following again something will DIE...
"What's the trog's name?"
"Chuck."
"You're in the spirit world, a$$hole!"
"Did you see the size of that chicken?!"
"Just a minute guys, I've gotta look that up..."
"Okay. You meet up with your contact in <insert location>, and s/he looks like <insert random actor>..."
"What's the trog's name?"
"Chuck."
"You're in the spirit world, a$$hole!"
"Did you see the size of that chicken?!"
"Just a minute guys, I've gotta look that up..."
"Okay. You meet up with your contact in <insert location>, and s/he looks like <insert random actor>..."
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