Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Was Jesus an immortal elf?
Dumpshock Forums > Discussion > Shadowrun
MITJA3000+
Well, was he?
Wounded Ronin
Yes. DUH!
Fortune
Of course.
SL James
Special Hell, dude.

Special Hell.
SL James
Damn double-posts.
emo samurai
He's just going there because Jesus doesn't want you to know the TRUTH.
Alley
QUOTE (MITJA3000+)
Well, was he?

Why would he need to be? He wasn't around that long. He was born, grew up, smacked some moneylenders around, made some speeches, died, came back, and went away again, all in the space of about 30 years or so. An ork could have managed it.

Well, except for the coming back part.
Supercilious
An Ork shaman could have faked it.
toturi
Made a deal with the devil... I mean the shedim.

But yeah, Special Hell. Merry Christmas.
Dale
Two words : Vampire Shedim

biggrin.gif
Backgammon
Hmm. I'd go with a Social Adept. Unless we're talking about Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. In which case he's a regular adept.
Smiley
And here I thought I was the only that had even HEARD of that movie, let alone seen it.

Does that make us really cool or really sad?
Teulisch
if you want shadowrun cannon herasy....

according to black madona, leonardo davinci is an immortal elf, and he claims taht it was mary magdeline, not jesus, who was the savior.
generaly i find the entire idea of immortal elves offensive, and an author trying to put such herasy into canon downright profane.

lets face it- jesus was a gmpc, and had access to the coolest homebrew stuff ever. anything in the books a pc may get (let alone read about) is weak in comparison.
toturi
QUOTE (Teulisch)
lets face it- jesus was a gmpc, and had access to the coolest homebrew stuff ever. anything in the books a pc may get (let alone read about) is weak in comparison.

The GM is God, remember? Father, Son and the Holy fragging dikoted ally Spirit.
emo samurai
QUOTE (toturi)
...and the Holy fragging dikoted ally Spirit.

NO!
Backgammon
QUOTE (Smiley)
And here I thought I was the only that had even HEARD of that movie, let alone seen it.

Does that make us really cool or really sad?

It makes us awesome, my friend. It makes us Awesome.
Mortax
QUOTE (toturi)
The GM is God, remember? Father, Son and the Holy fragging dikoted ally Spirit.

...(thud) rotfl.gif
you get a karma!
Kagetenshi
QUOTE (MITJA3000 @ +Dec 24 2006, 06:03 PM)
Well, was he?

No, just a man.

A man plus Tempter, that is.

~J, feelin' toasty
NightmareX
Personally, I like the risen Jesus = master shedim theory. Note that Black Madonna did not state that Mary Magdeline was the "savior"* simply that she was the head of the cult/magical group (of which Jesus and John the Baptist were a part) that worshiped the Passion of Knowledge (whom Leo shows as Isis). In essence she was a questor, just like Leo.

* In SR, there IS no savior. The ED conection makes the biblical worldview (ie Genesis - Jesus - Revelations) clearly untrue, thus the concept of a savior becomes irrelevent.

And yes, I'll see you all in that special hell wink.gif cool.gif
Kagetenshi
Actually, Genesis is perfectly feasible. Nightslayer created the Young Races, who were in a kind of paradise under Nightslayer's protection. Then, one of the Young Races did something that they hadn't done before. Coincidentally, it was at this time that Verjigorm slew Nightslayer, casting the Young Races out of their paradise. The Young Races blamed themselves, passed down a corrupted version of the story via oral tradition, and the rest is pseudohistory.

~J
NightmareX
Perfectly feasible as a very, very corrupted (as in corrupted from the actual events) metaphor, yes. But as anything that is literally true or close to such? Not a chance. (I should have been more clear) If Genesis, that is the whole Adam & Eve and the apple thing, never happened, then the need for a literal savior is nil. Plus, since Nightslayer made the Young Races, it kinda puts YHVH out of running for the creator of mankind wink.gif
nezumi
That said, many Christians believe the creation story was all metaphorical in the first place. In Kage's example, it could simply be said to be a metaphor for a slightly different understanding of the universe (as well as, as a bonus, a corrupted version of literal events, which I don't think the current version can claim).
Lindt
Wow... there are people in this thread who will spend their time in hell playing F.A.T.A.L. for whats going on here. Thats a special hell for ya.
Shrike30
If he was an IE, it didn't do him a lot of good.
Kagetenshi
Sure it did. He just cast Resist Pain to avoid the discomfort, then cast Hibernate on himself to appear dead for enough time. After waiting for his wounds to heal, he cast Shape Earth to move the boulder out of his way and walked out.

A lot better than dying.

~J
Snow_Fox
That's what I think. If he were IE or Shedim he'd have held around a lot longer.

I was under the impression that leonardo in Black Madonna was not the Leonardo but just a gifted fan who was an IE.

There's some obscure book I read that proposed that Jesus married Mary Magdelen and sired a child on her before his death. Her blood line fled to franch where for millenia his blood line has been protected from the agents of the Roman Church down to the 20th century.
SL James
There are quite a few, with one very significant novelization.
nezumi
The non-fiction book you're thinking of is Holy Blood, Holy Grail.

The trashy novel you're thinking of that got on the news as evidence of how stupid we've become as a society is is the Da Vinci Code.

Whoever wrote Black Madonna should sue wink.gif
Snow_Fox
yeah, I was going for sarcasm with the phrase 'obscure.'

I liked the movie more than the book though friends say I look like Sophie in the movie.
SL James
QUOTE (nezumi)
The trashy novel you're thinking of that got on the news as evidence of how stupid we've become as a society is is the Da Vinci Code.

Dude, that was proven years before with a piece of shit smeared on celluloid called The Blair Witch Project.

QUOTE (Snow_Fox)
yeah, I was going for sarcasm with the phrase 'obscure.'

Most people wouldn't recognize Holy Blood, Holy Grail if you beat them about the face and head with it.
Sahandrian
QUOTE (Lindt)
Wow... there are people in this thread who will spend their time in hell playing F.A.T.A.L. for whats going on here. Thats a special hell for ya.

I'm not sure even hell would go so low as to play F.A.T.A.L.
Ophis
The Merovingian bloodline (the normal one tied to the blood of christ iirc) has ties to the Templars to some peoples thinking. Since the Templars became the Black Lodge in part makes me wonder about ties between Christ and the forces implied to be behind the Black Lodge by Synner's comments a little while ago.
SL James
QUOTE (Sahandrian)
QUOTE (Lindt @ Dec 26 2006, 10:57 AM)
Wow... there are people in this thread who will spend their time in hell playing F.A.T.A.L. for whats going on here.  Thats a special hell for ya.

I'm not sure even hell would go so low as to play F.A.T.A.L.

Where do you think it came from? No human mind could both conceive of and write such ... horror.
lorechaser
QUOTE (Ophis)
The Merovingian bloodline (the normal one tied to the blood of christ iirc) has ties to the Templars to some peoples thinking. Since the Templars became the Black Lodge in part makes me wonder about ties between Christ and the forces implied to be behind the Black Lodge by Synner's comments a little while ago.

I had a guy at work spend 2 hours explaining to me how the Merovingian bloodline contained every politician ever elected at a state, local, or international level (seriously - from the governor of Rhode Island to the Prime Minister, each and every one throughout history), most of the Freemason, several members of the Illuminati and all royalty.

Oh, and of course his family.

I was a bit afraid.
SirBedevere
NO! He suggested we should be nice to each other; an IE doing that? No way.
SL James
QUOTE (lorechaser)
Oh, and of course his family.

I was a bit afraid.

I honestly can't imagine how you managed to not follow up with, "So, you're inbred, like the scions in Preacher?"
Shrike30
I was just thinking "Didn't Preacher have the descendents of Jesus in it? Horribly inbred and flinging poo, no less?"
Kyoto Kid
QUOTE (SL James)
QUOTE (Snow_Fox)
yeah, I was going for sarcasm with the phrase 'obscure.'

Most people wouldn't recognize Holy Blood, Holy Grail if you beat them about the face and head with it.

...I read it.

BTW

If Jesus was an IE, then Brian must have been Harlequin.

...always look on the bright side of life...
Mercer
Jesus was an ork, brother. I thought everybody knew that.
Ancient History
Nothing in life proves that The Da Vinci Code is a piece of shit more than reading Black Madonna and realizing it is a better novel at every level.

AH hates Dan Brown.
SL James
QUOTE (Shrike30)
I was just thinking "Didn't Preacher have the descendents of Jesus in it? Horribly inbred and flinging poo, no less?"

Yes.

[ Spoiler ]
hyzmarca
When I watched the DaVinci Code on DVD I was sorely disappointed for two reasons. First, Tom Hanks did not wield a rocket launcher against the corrupt French police at any time. I mean, really, the scene outside the American embassy was the perfect time to murder French police with a rocket launcher because all he had to do was get through the gate and he was home free. He could have killed as many French police officers as he wanted then with no fear of retaliation. Second, Jesus' descendant did not smite nations with DBZ-scale Christ-powers. I'm sorry, but if I were the Source of God's Power on Earth then I'd declare myself King of the Universe by Divine Right and smite things with my omnipotence and any other sane living deity would do the same.


But Jesus was obviously a Reverse Vampire who drained essence by giving people his blood.
Dale
Holy crap that actually makes sense!
NightmareX
Yeah....on too many levels. rotfl.gif
Sahandrian
QUOTE (SL James)
QUOTE (Sahandrian @ Dec 26 2006, 06:13 PM)
QUOTE (Lindt @ Dec 26 2006, 10:57 AM)
Wow... there are people in this thread who will spend their time in hell playing F.A.T.A.L. for whats going on here.  Thats a special hell for ya.

I'm not sure even hell would go so low as to play F.A.T.A.L.

Where do you think it came from? No human mind could both conceive of and write such ... horror.

Maybe they sent it here to get rid of it?
Snow_Fox
QUOTE (SL James)
QUOTE (lorechaser @ Dec 27 2006, 09:23 AM)
Oh, and of course his family.

I was a bit afraid.

I honestly can't imagine how you managed to not follow up with, "So, you're inbred, like the scions in Preacher?"

more likely he wanted you to bend a knee to him and fear him for his power and control over the water cooler. Isn't the supervisor in the cafateria one of them too?
will_rj
The answer is no, he wasn´t .


Been there.
Snow_Fox
the cafateria?
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Dumpshock Forums © 2001-2012