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wind_in_the_stones
I saw the couple of sentences about Weapon Personality programs from Arsenal (p34). A weapon personality is a soft ware personality for your gun’s computer, giving it a metahuman-like interface to communicate with via your PAN.

I thought this sounded like I could have a little fun with it, and tried to come up with a few amusing personalities that I could use. But when I tried to picture the sorts of conversations I could have with my gun during play, the idea kind of broke down.

What kinds of things does a gun have to say?

"Hey, it's time to reload." Um... what else?
Morrigana
Try an assault rifle that has the Pacifist flaw.
Adarael
One of my players has an Ares Alpha with a personality chip for "Bored Thai Hooker."

His rifle insults his friends fashion sense.
It tells stories about how it services johns (I.E. shoots people).
It gets insulted if he uses another gun too much, because he's a 'regular'.
It talks about how he ought to go out partying more, and take 'her' with him.

All in all, the entire idea is ridiculous, but funny to play out.
Ancient History
Some things must be shown, not told.
AJCarrington
You might be interested in checking out the book "Death's Head" by David Gunn. For approx the last two thirds of the book, the main character has a gun with its own AI; kind of funny scary all at the same time.

AJC
Wesley Street
"Your hands are sweaty."

or

"Am I in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Wait, don't answer that."

or

(chant)"This is my rifle, this is my gun...!"

or

"All those feminists were right! I do look like a big, metal penis!"
attack
One of my characters had a pistol modded to look like NES light gun that issued points for nice shots.
Mx
When character has multible guns
"Use me, use me."
Or if al those guns have personalities they could get in to an argument over which one the character should use.
"Pick me, pick me"
"No, pick me"
"don't pick them, I'm way better for this situation"
Aaron
"All of the weapons in this facility have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open fire for you and their satisfaction to cease fire with the knowledge of a job well done."
xicidis
Sigh... You always use them. I'm never useful... OK fine, use me. Launching grenade... See, now I made all kinds of noise. Now they are going to come after us, and your going to blame me. Sigh...
Chrysalis
"Yes! Yes!" "Oh yes. Right there." "Oh god! Mmm... fire me again baby! You know you want it."

This and other porn noises can be found on the Multi-6 persona chip. Be a cock, buy a Multi-6.
wind_in_the_stones
Those all sound pretty good, but if I want to do that right (and keep it out of the realm of fantasy - not that there's anything wrong with fantasy), particularly for the Buck Godot scenario, I'll need a sensor package (voice/facial recognition, empathy), not to mention the sensor package itself. So a few hundred more nuyen. I get it. Thanks, carry on!

Oh, and I love the bored hooker idea.

Morrigana, did you ever see Dark Star? Let's just say it featured a smart bomb that was too smart to destroy itself by detonating.

Edit: Oh, I see it - Pilot Upgrade. 1000 or 2500. Seems like you'd still need a sensor package, and the appropriate software.
Hagga
"Wake up, asshole."
"What the hell was that?"
"Why don't we swap places?"
"What the Ghost is wrong with you? He was RIGHT THERE."
"Sullen Teen Elf"

Or worse, some sick, twisted bastard could put a Lilarcor personality into an assault cannon.
nezumi
You could have a cheap Taiwanese knock-off of an Ares original with an inferiority complex.
BookWyrm
I'm reminded of a little skit on TV, years ago, where a young african-american actor (Marlon Wayans?) is in a pawn shop & looking to buy a gun; as he looks over each one, he (& the veiwer) are treated to a commentary by the gun of why it's the best & why the customer should by it (Robin Williams did a chilling but appropo mock-German voice for a Luger, trying to explain that all those deaths were not his fault).....eventually, the customer is startled by the shop owner asking which gun he wants. The customer, suitably freaked out by the 'possessed' weaponry, politely changes his mind to the shop owner & stumbles out.
wind_in_the_stones
You missed! You haven't been to target practice lately.
But I pulled the trigger. You must have been slow.
Why do you blame it on me? I can't be expected to do everything for you. And when was the last time you cleaned me?
I cleaned my gun this morning, heh heh.
Well, I never! That's it, you're grounded. No more bullets for you today.
Aw shit!
Watch your language, young man! I should wash your mouth out with soap.
NPCMook
I was thinking of using a shotgun with the personality of Elmer Fudd
Fix-it
QUOTE (attack @ Dec 22 2008, 04:43 PM) *
One of my characters had a pistol modded to look like NES light gun that issued points for nice shots.


did an annoying farking dog come up and laugh at you when you missed?
toturi
An NPC has a rifle with Dick Marcinko's persona and it offers him all sorts of unsolicited advise.

"Wake up dick head! You forgot to clean me again, pus nut!"

"You can't see the targets? Shit for brains, stick me out around the fucking corner!"

"I'm out of ammo. Hit the motherfucker with me! What the fuck are you waiting for? An invitation, asshole?"

"Pain? God gives you pain to tell you you're alive! God loves you, Haleluyah!"
hosh
I know this isn't the same game type and I know how little most folks think of D&D but I figure this might help. Had a character a few years back who had a lovely intelligent sword. Thought it was a preacher of all things. Used to give the defeated last rights, pissed and moaned when we wouldn't bury the poor frost giant since it was one of gods creatures even if it had not repented its ways. Even went as far as to try and give me confession a few times. Said all the killing could not be good for my eternal soul if I kept it all in. Final act it made was when my character finally passed on in a fight with a couple of quicklings that where just to smart for me I got to hear as I was passing on "I earnestly commend to you the soul of this servant, Michael., in his last agony, so that under your protecting care he may be delivered from the wiles of the devil and from everlasting death and attain everlasting happiness; through Christ our Lord. and then the resounding boom of the three delayed fireballs he had cast during the whole recitation and timed to go off as he intoned amen. Lets just say I never picked up another weapon that talked to me for a long time.
Digital Heroin
Suddenly I have an image of a weapon (possibly a Sakura Fubuki, or more ominously something explosive) with a personality modeled after the "Big Sister" who introduces the students from Battle Royale to the game... all over the top enthusiastic and bubbly in a thoroughly Japanese manner about people killing eachother. Bonus would be to have the personality linked to a Virtual Person.
Fortune
"If you're not careful, I might go off half-cocked''
Morrigana
Something fun: The runners accidentally get guns intended for another team, due to a mixup by the fixer. These guns are programmed with perfect Klingon personalities and like to shout Klingon warcries or sing Klingon operas during a fight. Imagine how fun that would make stealth missions.
Damage
Imagine having a grenade land next to you yelling, "I'm a thirty-second bomb...I'm a thirty-second bomb...twenty-nine...twenty-eight...twenty --- I LIED!!! <BOOM>"

Also, for a good example, remember Rogue Trooper.
AngelisStorm
WWVD

"What Would Vera Do"
Metalmek
I would realy like an Deputy heavy pistol with the Clint Eastwood personnality broadcasting to others the catch phrase; do you feel lucky... punk?!?
and.. oh man .. put it on speakers... what a great toy for interogating prisonner... I wonder who would be the good and the bad .. the gun or the guy wielding it?
Chrysalis
Ultimately all of these things showcase why weapon personalities are camp.
Hagga
They're fabulous, dahling.

I'd like one with Carson Kresley in it, actually. It'd offer fashion advice on your armour and suggest popping into that nice little pub on the corner for a chat with the nice man in the arseless chaps.
GreyBrother
Starship Troopers Grenades.
You pick them from your Belt and some cheery voice comes up "Hellloooooo!"
And then you throw them and they count down. "Threee, Twooo, Oneeee!"

But yeah, Weapon Personalities are in general just for shits'n'giggles, but where are the serious uses?
Ed_209a
A personality would be helpful in the case of a VERY inexperienced user. Like an online manual.

Bang!
Bang!
Click!
"Greetings user, Your weapon is not functioning because it is <jammed/out of ammo/etc>. Use the following steps to resolve the situation..."

Though really, anyone THAT inexperienced should get a stun baton and another team member as a combat nanny.
Chrysalis
For this you have AR and guides.
hyzmarca
Put your talking gun on a smart firing platform. Gun lures enemy close and opens fire.
Blade
QUOTE (Ed_209a @ Dec 23 2008, 01:07 PM) *
A personality would be helpful in the case of a VERY inexperienced user. Like an online manual.

Bang!
Bang!
Click!
"Greetings user, Your weapon is not functioning because it is <jammed/out of ammo/etc>. Use the following steps to resolve the situation..."

Though really, anyone THAT inexperienced should get a stun baton and another team member as a combat nanny.


Reminds me of this hilarious post.
nezumi
QUOTE (GreyBrother @ Dec 23 2008, 05:40 AM) *
Starship Troopers Grenades.
You pick them from your Belt and some cheery voice comes up "Hellloooooo!"
And then you throw them and they count down. "Threee, Twooo, Oneeee!"

But yeah, Weapon Personalities are in general just for shits'n'giggles, but where are the serious uses?


I remember reading a sci-fi novel where a ship is going out and making stars go supernova to spell out Coca Cola. Anyhow, they use these nuclear missiles with some limited intelligence (for guidance and such). One of the characters always gave the missiles a prep talk before launching them. As it happens, a missile is armed and its countdown started, but it gets caught in the launch bay, still ticking away. The guy is caught having a philosophical conversation with the missile to convince it it wants to live and to NOT blow up (which ends with "I live because I am bomb. Ergo, being bomb defines me as being alive. Bombs by definition explode. *BOOM*)


I could see missiles (which do have a guidance computer in each missile) having some minor personality traits. That would be interesting.
vollmond
QUOTE
But yeah, Weapon Personalities are in general just for shits'n'giggles, but where are the serious uses?


A Sasquatch could literally let his weapon do his talking biggrin.gif
Earthwalker
Hello,

Microdeck Gun Assistant has detected you are wanting to shoot a hooker, would you like help with this ?
Chrysalis
Your gun is having upgrade issues. For you to continue to use GunSmart please upgrade to a legal, registered version. Turning the safety off, squeezing the trigger, and 24h customer service are some of the service we provide with the full version of this software. Upgrade now and you may gain GunSmart Pro!
Wesley Street
<thick New Delhi accent>Hello, this is Peter in... Co-net-i-cut. I understand you are trying to fire your gun. How may I assist you today?</thick New Delhi accent>
Christian Lafay
QUOTE (nezumi @ Dec 23 2008, 02:45 PM) *
I remember reading a sci-fi novel where a ship is going out and making stars go supernova to spell out Coca Cola. Anyhow, they use these nuclear missiles with some limited intelligence (for guidance and such). One of the characters always gave the missiles a prep talk before launching them. As it happens, a missile is armed and its countdown started, but it gets caught in the launch bay, still ticking away. The guy is caught having a philosophical conversation with the missile to convince it it wants to live and to NOT blow up (which ends with "I live because I am bomb. Ergo, being bomb defines me as being alive. Bombs by definition explode. *BOOM*)


I could see missiles (which do have a guidance computer in each missile) having some minor personality traits. That would be interesting.


Red Dwarf?
Adarael
Dark Star, I believe. John Carpenter movie, as well.
nezumi
Yeah, I think it was Dark Star. I read it back in seventh grade. Wow, great catch there. What a fantastic book. Reading the IMDB quotes, now I'm all nostalgic.
Hagga
Same thing occurs inj red dwarf, just without the philosophy.
Stahlseele
not really the gun but the bullets with personality in who framed roger rabbit, but that's kinda how i envision it ^^
Mickle5125
homicidal Disney princess.
toturi
Pixar Entertainment presents:

Poh the Panda for your Hardliner Gloves!

With realistic "boing" sounds. Get them today, boys and girls!
AngelisStorm
... serious uses? For a talking gun? Guns don't talk now, and see to work fine. Why would you want a serious talking gun? Even in the book's example the guy has it because he gets bored/lonely while waiting for his target to show.

You could probably link it to a pilot/agent program and make a cyber friend. It would then be smart (and interesting, with a high enough level program) enough to play games and hold a decent conversation. And when it gets into combat, the agent/pilot program could use any sensors it has available to make perception checks and then to warn you (or to fire, while your on full defense). It's nothing it couldn't do without a cool personality, but it's for interest, not for straight utility.

(One of my players combined her agent program with the AR pet. She has a small dragon that other's can see when viewing AR, that is decently smart and doubles as her hacking assistant.)
Red_Cap
QUOTE (Stahlseele @ Dec 23 2008, 04:39 PM) *
not really the gun but the bullets with personality in who framed roger rabbit, but that's kinda how i envision it ^^


That was my first impression, too. I'd love to have a Cavalier Deputy that talked like a crochety old cowboy who drank too much sasparilla.
Chrysalis
All I can think of being cool is having a gun with the personality of John Wayne.
Pyritefoolsgold
my new character (a high edge cybercatgirl with a half dozen modified guns) is going to get a weapon persona for each of her guns. They will all be tachicoma from Ghost in the shell. The nasally-voiced bookworm one will be the sniper rifle.
Morrigana
QUOTE (AngelisStorm @ Dec 24 2008, 07:40 AM) *
... serious uses? For a talking gun?


Simple: Program it so that it yells out "He's going to shoot you!" when aimed at an employee of the company who made it. No using Ares weapons on Ares staff ^^
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