Funnily enough... That was exactly what I was thinking when I woke up today Dracos

In other news according to wikipedias list of predicted doomsdays, I've just survived the 38th apocalypse predicted to occur in my lifetime. I guess that whiskey I had last night celebrated something.

There's also a theory that the moon is made out of cheese. Some theories are simply crocks.

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believe it or don't, not everybody has read the hitchhiker yet . .

I specifically avoid it. I don't like British humor at all.

Terry Pratchett/Discworld is british too.
Monthy Python is british too.
Mr.Bean/Blackadder/Rowan Atkinson is british too.
Benny Hill Show is british.
Top-Gear-UK is british.

You are severely limiting yourself there x.x

No I'm not. I don't like any of those things and the time I save not paying attention to them I do other things with. I'm fine with this.

SIR Tarry Pratchett, if you don't mind. *Stiff Upper Lip*

God help England if they ever have to mobilize the knights in defense of their country... They're all old actors and authors.

Sir PTerry has a sword.

If anything, SR should have taught you that swords are badly outdated now.

If you don't mind SIR Sean Connery and SIR Patrick Steward, then no, no i don't mind at all ^^

Lieutenant Colonel Jack Churchill would argue.

"Any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly armed."

I know who Mad Jack is. While I love swordsmanship and would prefer a sword at my side, I'm not an idiot who doesn't realize that I'll be shot countless times before I can close the distance to a gunman. Hence, outdated.

Cryptonomicon:

"I'd shoot the guys with swords first."
"Ah, good, deprive the enemy of their commanding officer."
"F*ck no, you ever had a guy waving a sword in your face? It's f*cking terrifying."

(Badly quoted, but I'm not about to dig through 800 pages to find the exact passage)

I have come to tell people that the hitchhiker's guide is my gospel. It might sound a bit silly but I find myself quoting it on matters of life. The sheer ridiculousness of it all really does reflect nicely on the absurdities of life.

Coming out of my weekend-long bender. Where the hell is my dragon?!?

Have you checked your stocking?

It's a little early for the dragon to be in the stocking, CanRay.

It's probably at Santa's workshop.

As long as you know where your towel is.

Look at that Dracos18, now there's a frood that really know where his towel is.

And here I am, with this horrible pain in the diodes down my right side...
Probably shouldn't have gone for the second-hand cyberware

Pst. The "s" goes last.

Damn that phenomenon of not reading letters but words or blocks of text.
You konw the one taht mekas it so taht it dnseot mtetar waht oedrr the ltetres are in as lnog as the frsit and the lsat ltetres are in the rhigt pclae.

It's not really a real thing. It doesn't work for longer words, for instance.

Dnsiseimlloniut.

I wasn't aware of that.
I never really looked into it, think something similar is true for speed reading however. Not reading individual words that is. Speed reading tends to screw over your reading comprehension pretty hard although.
Screw you, I spent 10 minutes trying to unravel that

Disillusionment.

Well its been several months since the magic came back. I thought that it would come with a bang but instead it has dribbled out like a narrow urethea. I've looked all around and there has been no mention of its return. So far as i can tell only those who are the most magically attuned and powerful can sense the magical eminations. Naturally me being the most gifted I sensed it right away.

The first thing I did? well the first thing any red blooded american male would do mis hombres! I immediately set about mana tickling the wife's mind of course! She would be a donna reed in every facet of life save the bedroom. The bedroom she would be a sly mynx that would make even the most seasoned porn star blush! with gusto I painstakling researched and composed the magical formula as well as accumlated the neccessary mana needed for this noble effort (no small feat in and over itself given how so little there is of it). Some time later I was finally ready, I prepared to embark on a journey that would see the fruition of every married man's dream! I traced the formula, let loose the mana and dove right in.

...and immideatly regretted it....

A woman's mind is different than a mans. Where ours is orderly and precise, theirs is chaotic and scattered. The first few moments it was all i could do to avoid being lost in the tulmult. Fortunately I am possed of tremendous willpower and I was able to stem the hysterics long enough to use my remaiing mana to extricate myself from the chaos. For almost a week I suffered side effects from the jaunt. I felt like crying for no reason, walking up to men and nagging them, and buy things I did not need just because they were on sale. Fourunatly the effects didn't last that long and I was back to my affable urbane self.

Crestfallen but not defeated I have doubled my efforts. This time I will not just jump in. Oh don't doubt that I could, my previous experience coupled with my awesome magical powers would enable me to stem any situation that might arise, but this change must be permanent and not some fleeting thing. I will take my time and painstakingly ensure success. Yes this will take much time and effort, but the rewards! oh the rewards! first the wife, then the mistresses! I'm so happy a tear in my eye, my wife has always been a wild child...I think...yes...it is about time to take to one

The only effect we've noticed down under has been an increase in drop bear aggressiveness and what I can only assume are megoladons appearing off the coast. They're slightly smaller than the sharks we normally get. (Not lying, we normally get whale sharks)
It appeared that we had a physical adept at one point, but it turns out that the guy was just too drunk to realize how incredibly dangerous what he was doing was.

I've discovered a near mystical ability to be the only person in my office that doesn't have an inbox piled three feet high.

It's actually mildly disturbing...

So much intelligence and so little wisdom. Thank Jove you had the willpower to keep your mind while under the influence of a woman.

Remember you can shape the mountains with a gentle breeze. Expose your wife to the behaviors you wish her to emulate; make her sandwiches, avoid interrupting her during LAN parties and sports games, mention to your friends how big her ... bank account is. In the bedroom, use your incredible abilities to increase your own stamina, that you stoke her fires.