I can think of two:

Tit Mouse


Prairie Dog

How about a Shaman following the Totem of Pack Rat?

He/she has to roll a Willpower check whenever he/she sees something he/she doesn't already have in his/her collection.

Also, the individual:

(1) collects shiny objects;

(2) *NEVER* throws anything away;

and

(3) leaves something behind whenever they grab something new.

Believe me--I *know* something about (meta)human pack rats.
We've had several of them in my family--on *both* sides.
Heck, I've lived with one (my dad) for almost forty-one years....

--Foreigner

Though Kakapo is a worthy attempt, Naked Mole-Rat rules them all!

Worst totem ever...

Barnacle.

Oyster

Tapeworm.

Crabs. (Not the crustacean.)

Of course, now I want to see some rules for some of these. I'll start.

Barnacle: +1 die for damage resistance tests and tests to avoid being knocked down. Barnacles are resistant and stubborn, refusing to budge.

Stubborn: Barnacle shamen must take a willpower (6) test to change a current plan of action (as a dog shaman).

JaronK

Ground squirrel

+ to illusion (they can hide really well)
+ to detection (you ever try to sneak up on one)

suddenly freezes if spotted/ targeted

Beaver (like bear)
+ to healing (Ok, I've hunted the suckers they are tough!)
+ to anything requiring building (can summon the dreaded "stick-and-mud"elemental)

Forced to chew on everything, has to make a loud noise when it sees a threat, will try to drown its opponent if there is any avaiable water (no matter how shallow, or how over matched)

Deer

+ to detection
+ to consealment

freezes when suddely in a bright light (oh look, a tac-lite!)

bunny
plus to any charisma (he's soooo cute)

must take dependants flaw at max level.

I'm thinking bonobo chimpanze...

They live in groups and socialize in a peculiar sexual way. Masturbation, oral and normal sex is fequent between members of the group, also within same gender.

now THAT would be a realy strange thing to roleplay...

"no... I DON'T want to do the stakeout with "bono"

tragic character.. he just want to be friendly and socialize but is somehow misunderstod by everybody...

Nah, just team them up with the Hedonist Shaman and all is well with the world.

Worst Totem:
Anna Nicole Smith

Role Playing Gamer
Sci-Fi Fan
Comic Book Nerd

Really all the same totem.

+1 to summon arcane trivia
+1 to annoy others

Just curious:

I know that this isn't a Totem, but would a Mage practicing Tantric metamagics qualify?

It seems like a perfect choice, in some cases--especially if you believe the stereotype about male RPG players (i.e., that all they think about in-game is money, booze, and sex, not necessarily in that order).

(BTW: My apologies if this part offends anyone. It seemed like an interesting idea.)

For that matter, would it be possible to create a Mage or Shaman with a Pop Culture specialization?

Examples: Summoning the City Spirit of Steven Seagal to beat someone up if no one in your group has any martial arts skills, or of Steve McQueen when your 'runner team needs a REALLY GOOD getaway driver.

The possibilities are almost limitless....



--Foreigner

That crab entry got me thinking (about the animal, not the disease).

I'd have to say game mechanically, this idea would probably suck, but RPing-wise, I'd love to do it:

Zoidberg (from Futurama)

I love that guy!

Bonobo chimps are the best one....halarious.


Runners up: lichen, goat

Also, chickens and chicken-like animals have very,very few redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Worst possible totem:

The Matrix Totem

Preferably near Matrix uplink (or whatever its called) locations.
A new totem, considered by most to be insane and unnatural.

Advantage: Gets Innate spell: Magical Datajack. The spell creates a datajack in the casters left index finger. No essence is consumed in the casting and sustaining of the spell or when the spell is dropped.
The Shaman gets no penalty to magical actions when jacked in.
The Shamans Computer skill counts as a Magic Background skill.

Disadvantages: -2 Dice to all other spells. Recieves a +2 TN to all magical actions if the Shaman is not jacked into the Matrix. Can only Astrally project while present in the Matrix. Gets Matrix Addiction (moderate) flaw for free. The Shamans Sorcery skill cannot be higher than his Computer skill.
The Shaman also gets -4 dice to summoning any type of spirit. They (unlike the Shaman) knows that this Totem is unnatural. Drain from summoning is increased by one level (from moderate to serious etc.).

while it may be unimaginative, I'd say cow or chicken.

How would you feel with people gorging themselves everyday on your totem?

I can see the New 6th world incarnation of the Vegan, worshiping the Cow...
Casting Force 6 Fashion spells at anyone wearing fur or leather, basically removing the threads or destroying the color.+

Oh man that cartoon ruled hard. I think I can still recite the themesong to the IM Weasel short thing.

Turkeys get mesmerized by rain and drown in it.

Only the domesticated ones. Wild Turkeys are actually fairly smart as game birds go.

LOL! Stupid, yummy turkeys.

Termite would be a pretty bad totem, but would be under insect. Dung beetle? Leech? Tick? Most any parasitical critter would be pretty bad I'd think. Flea?

Meatwad
No, too cool

Frylock
No, too smart

Carl
No, too badass

Shake
Perfect! Lamest totem ever.

Forget Shake, Err is the lamest totem...

Homestarrunner












You could have Strongbad as a physad totum, with a mandatory geasa of boxing gloves

Or StrongSad, with the requirement that you be fat, pale, and whiny.

WTF are you guys talking about?

Behold!

Guinea Hen.

Bob Dole.

This thing.

~J

What about the cornholing redneck tree from Something Positive? That would suck to have for a totem...Just imagine passing the Watcher to get into the astral plane.

What in God's name is THAT?

I thnk the language is actually Portuguese. Other than that, I can't help you, but you could try using Babelfish.

they seem to claim its a new species or something.. giant roach idea.. not that anyone would bat an eye in sr what with full size roach spirits et al..

DS

I think DarkShade is correct.

I'm not certain, but the critter in that photo appears to be a giant sea roach (Bathynomus giganticus).

It's related to the common sea roach or wharf roach (Ligia exotica). However, where the common sea roach attains a maximum length of about 3 centimeters (just over 1 inch), its larger cousin can reach lengths of up to 28 centimeters (11 inches).

You can find examples of both critters at the following link:

National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Ocean Explorer--Estuary to the Abyss

--Foreigner

It is indeed Portuguese.

I remember reading somewhere that the reason insects don't come in that size anymore on land is a lower oxygen content in the air. Something to do with the design of their lungs. Apparently when there were dinos around you'd get monster bugs too.