Imagine...Samuel "Twist" Verner, mourning the death of his beloved Hart, goes to the Aleph Society, regains his magic, turns evil, and attempts to take all of the power in the hidden citadel of Usuru in order to bring her back to life, not caring about the evil spirits he's setting free in the process. One by one, he kills his former friends and comrades before blasting the guardians of Uluru themselves apart and taking all the power...

Okay, your turn.

hal jordan, mourning the death--damn, you beat me to it!

more seriously... dirk, depressed by the loss of his sister, sinks into BTL-ridden depression. rock bottom is when he scrapes up enough money to get a datajack.

Dunklezahn fearing the return of the horrors sacrifices himself to block them and his spirit becomes bonded in a cyberzombie.... what you mean that's already been done?!?

Seriously though your initial plot isn't that bad (okay maybe not for twist but for some other 1337 magic user).

Okay really bad Fastjack gets bored with the matrix hangs up his cyberdeck and uses his super stash of reserve nuyen to get extensive leonization and a cyberzombie body! He enters the market as Fastshot the best and oldest street samurai in the sprawl.

Dues falls in love with Pax, who loves the old Dues, not the new Dues and trys to trick Dues into becoming the old Dues and that makes Dues mad and Dues kills her, but keeps her personality on a chip and clones her bones, implanting the chip in each new incarnation for the next 5000 years.

This guy named Art Dankwalther massively increases his stockpile of money and then destroys Novatech, meanwhile Winternight attacks physical network hardware all over the globe and crashes the Matrix.

Lofwyr and Hestaby mate and the offspring is hailed as the second coming of Dunkelzahn.

~J

Crap, you're right.

Ok everyone, I never said anything about Lofwyr and Hestaby. *Nods sagely*

~J

Damien Knight and Nadja Daviar have a baby, whic Aztechnology promptly steals in order to Dikote it. Desperate, Knight asks his old chum, Lucien Cross, to turn him into a crime fighting cyberzombie gargoyle to go rescue the baby. Nadja unfortunatly gets there before him and tragically dies of tourista trying to rescue the baby. Knight becomes enraged and destroys Ghostwalker, but before Aztechnology can Dikote baby Knight, they find out he's an orc and lose all interest. Novatech buys Ares. The end.

Nadja Daviar gets breast cancer. Her nipples are never the same again. The End.

Just a quick note; generalization about Prescott's art makes baby Jesus, and more importantly me, cry.

That said, such a plot line would provide him a unique opportunity to cover up her affliction with flowers or stars or something.

The USA gives up a masiive amount of land, because it si worthless only to have three hostile forces thinking it worht enough to go to war for....

Magic "returns" to earth, people start giving birth to "elves" and "dwarves" and the indians somehow reconquer north-america.

No wait...

Dodger gets an encrypted message uploaded into his headware and finds that the super-secret key has been faxed in the clear. When he realizes he neglected to upgrade his headware memory to 4.0, his brain begins to melt out of his ears until, while apparently on some sort of acid trip or something, he encounters a cybered, drug addicted dolphin who cracks his head... I mean headware... And finds out it's a cure for the VITAS plague that any dummy can make with a shake 'n bake kitchen.


What do you mean someone actually wrote a story that bad??

The Horrors find another spike to tumble into the 6th world. Harlequin decides to single-handedly stop them this time, rather than forcing the world to depend upon a motley group of whiney under-powered shadowrunners.

Industrial terrorists build a gigantic blast furnace in space, with the intent to Dikote EVERYTHING.

Oh c'mon. I liked the movie. Given how it comes up in every "Shadowrun Movies" thread, I'm probably not alone.

Sweeeet. That'll put me on eqaul footing with my AVS ally spirit.

Magic sweeps across the world, and two young Hermetic Shadowrunners named Harry and Ron battle duel-natured astral horrors called Dementers.

Afterward, their friend reveals herself to be, not a fellow Hermetic Mage, but a Mantis Shaman! And she is horny and hungry...

Ninjas kidnap the president of the UCAS. Are you a bad enough chum to GO RESCUE HIM?!?!?!?!?!?!??!1111111111two

A company makes a near-future RPG where people can play as professional criminals, with a canon derived from current events and strange lack of foresight (why would pocket secretaries and cell phones stay so big sixty years from now?) but it develops a decent following anyway, which is enough to sustain it for three editions but by the fourth everyone starts complaining about a change of jargon, and no one can agree on anything.

Oh wait....

How about... okay, here we go: Damien Knight hires a group of underpowered runners to do a simple smash'n'grab, but it turns out the target package is actually a miniature cyberzombie. So it escapes and runs into hiding, where Lofwyr takes the form of Damien Knight to call the runners off, but then the REAL Damien Knight shows up and they have an arm-wrestling contest to see who gets to have the runners recover the mini-zombie. Only Lofwyr eats one of the runners while Knight isn't looking. So then, Knight wins and the runners hit the sewers, where it turns out the mini-zombie was bitten by a ghoul and it turned them BOTH in mini-ghoul-cyberzombies. So the runners catch one, and some other runners hired by Lofwyr catch the other, and neither side knows which is which. So when the runners get out of the sewer, the mini-zombie-ghoul wants to negotiate with the group, but before they can Nadia shows up with the dead runner to negotiate for the mini-ghoul-zombie. Only the dead runner is really Lofwyr, and Nadia is really Art Dankwalther, and they're working together to bring down Aztechnology. So just as the runners are about to close a million-nuyen deal, the other runner team shows up with their mini-zombie-ghoul, only it's really just a Trid Phantasm spell. So when Lofwyr calls the second team on the illusion, out steps Damien Knight, who unmasks Nadia/Art, but he in turn unmasks Damien Knight as a drone being controlled by the new Deus! So Deus tries to take both mini-ghoul-zombies, but they start chanting in broken Engrish and fuse together into a normal-sized ghoul cyberzombie. And just as it's about to attack, the manifested astral form of Dunkelzahn swoops in and possesses it! So Deus and Lofwyr and Dunkie have it out, and Art dies in the crossfire, and Lofwyr flies off and Deus grabs the runner team's decker and runs off, and Dunkie hires the runner team to find Nadia and make sure she's not doing the horizontal mambo with anyone while he's gone. So the runners wind up at the Watergate Hotel where they find Nadia and Buttercup going at it like dogs in heat (the module at this point recommends the GM put on some quality lesbian pornography to get the players in the right mood). And of course they spot the pair just as Deus does, and he tries to bribe the runners to lie to Dunkie about it, using the decker runner as collatoral. Either way he kills the decker and the runners are forced to retreat. So then Buttercup shows up with Juan Whateverhislonglastnameis from Aztechnology, only he's really a free blood spirit, and they promise they can bring the two missing runners back to life if they just get a ritual sample from Dunkie. So at the meet they try to negotiate or lie or whatever, it doesn't really matter, and Dunkie says he knows exactly what happens and is about to attack when the runners are saved by Fastjack, who really is just a half-senile old man, except he's also an Immortal Elf with the Human-Looking edge. So the runners go to ground with Fastjack and basically help change his Depends for a week before he reveals that he's looking for the bones that were on Mars, not the ones in the photos in Dunkie's Will but some other bones, the mythical KFC Chicken Bones from the first manned mission to Mars. Only it hasn't happened yet. So he's trying to hire the runners to plant a bucket of KFC on the rocket to Mars. So when they get there they find out that Dodger is the only astronaut going to Mars and he's a vegan, so they have to convince him it's Fauxfu chicken ("Fauxfu, for the tofu-intolerant!") when in fact it's not chicken at all but Turducken, which is something else entirely that's too insane to even get into, but anyway they end up trapped on the rocket with Dodger and Deus (who snuck aboard) and for whatever reason Deus only speaks in haiku, so finally they get to Mars and plant the bones and bring them back only to find Fastjack and Nadia going at it, and Dunkie finds out and tries to have the runners killed, and everyone magically appears for the thrilling climax where they all fight it out and one by one all the runners die, until only one is left and just as he clenches his eyes shut as a cybertalon tears through his chest, he wakes up and discovers it was all a dream.

I'm 90% certain it's a spoof on "Bad Dudes vs. Dragonninja", an old arcade game. The intro - in all its glory - read: "Ninjas have kidnaped president Ronnie of the USA!!! Are you a bad enough dude to save him???"

What followed were 8 levels of extremely cheesy arcade punching in which hordes of ninjas were beat into submission by rambo/arnold schwartznegger clones, who ended each level by beating their fists into the air and announcing to the world "I'm bad!"

If you actually managed to fight your way to kill the Dragoninja [sic] and make his helicopter crash, president Ronnie (I kid thee not) of the USA would emerge and say: "Hey dudes! Thanks for saving me! Let's go for a hamburger! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

And then you got treated to a picture of the president (holding a hamburger) in front of the white house, flanked by the Bad Dudes and with an army of MIBs in the background.

I personally felt the ending was far superior to watching the Johnny Mnemonic movie.

Getting thumped in the rump by dragonninjas is superior to watching the Johnny Mnemonic movie.

A woman, sitting in a small coffee shop suddenly realizes what is wrong with the world and how to fix it and no body would get nailed to anything,

but suddenly she and all the world is destroyed by the Vogon construction fleet discovered by the Mars probe and the idea is lost for all time.

Bullshit.

~J

A group of runners retire and purchase an inn in Vermont. While everything seems peacefull there may be something odd going on with Larry and his brothers Daryl. However, nothing much happens for 8 years untill Renraku buys the entire town to turn it into a golf course and everyone leaves.

So only published and critically renowned authors are allowed to like or dislike, and share those opinions of liking and disliking, novels? Wow. I never knew that.

I guess that means everyone should shut the fuck up about how awful SR4's gonna be, then, huh, unless they run a gaming company?

Well thats to the point!!

torz x

*watches with anticipation*

*joins in watching and offers torz a piece of delicious flat bread*

Here's one:

Talon becomes obsessed with the coming of the Horrors. He becomes extremely paranoid, believing that anyone and everyone could be a Horror in disguise. He manabolts Aracos and fireballs his runner team after realizing they're actually Horrors. His sleep is plagued by awful dreams in which Horrors are unleashed upon the world--suddenly they stop when some "friendly" spirits tell him they will stop the Enemy if he lets them into the world. He tracks down Lethe and kills him with a Naval weapon, then uses the cyberzombie carcass/dragonheart to focus enough mana to make a bridge to let his friends into the world. They're really the Horrors! *gasp* End of the sixth world, except GDs and all ultimate NPCs.

*wince* That hurt to write.

A overweight Computer geek Decker with the paraplegic flaw who has never driven a car in his life suddenly finds that he can drive a car as good as a professional Rigger because they are all called Haxors now with nothing to distinguish between a grease monkey and a computer nerd....

Do you know anything?

[edit] To remove whiney rant.

Horrors invade the world and cause an economic depression while at the same time subliminally zapping the whole population. One runner has been given special glasses by a technomantic cabal of freedom fighters. He then proceeds to liberate metahumankind.

On the plus side one really good combat sequence between the Physad runner and his best friend cybersam.

Also one really good line: "I have come here to chew nutrisoy and kick ass, and I am all out of nutrisoy."