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HMHVV Hunter
Here's Story 3 of my Shadowrun fan fiction. Once again, it's veeeeery lengthy (14 1/2 pages in Word).

If you read it, please leave some feedback.

[ Spoiler ]
Pretty good. I could visualize the battle scenes, altho I'm not sure just how Helios got to the catwalk - I must have missed something there.

The only other problem I had was describing the Giant as a troll metavariant - that's using game terminology instead of just saying he was the largest troll you've ever seen, with certain changes you weren't familiar with...that sort of thing. Describe the differences between him and a normal troll rather than just explain "he's a metavariant".

Keep it up - I'm thoroughly entertained by the Chronicles so far.

[edit] reread the section describing how he got the catawalk and I can see where some of the confusion lies. While he is taking the stairs two at at time (and I would think there would be a LOT of stairs to get to the catwalk) he's picking off ghouls on the catwalk. The geography of the location gets a bit confused in the wording - you might want to run through just how Helios has a shot at the ghouls either directly above him or along a catwalk he hasn't arrived at yet...or *say* he arrives and the confusion he finds upon arrival at that level. Like - how high is the catwalk? Did he feel dizzy climb up that high so quickly? In his acrobatics did he come close to the edge? That sort of thing - it's an added sense of peril which can make the combat more exciting if done well.
HMHVV Hunter
I always thought the metavariants were referred to as those names (giants, minotaurs, etc) in the SR world.

As far as the catwalk thing, this is what I had in mind (since I can't draw an ASCII map):

-Stairs (the foot of the staircase lying right in the middle of the warehouse, braced to the ground by supports).
-These stairs lead up to the catwalks usually seen in warehouses.

My original idea was to have him walking up the stairs, but the ghouls would still be visible over the railing at the height he was at.

Now that I think about it though, a ladder might have been more accurate. I might change that later on.
Herald of Verjigorm
The hunter is right. Giants look much more like double-tall humans than any other type of troll, and minotaurs have the wide set steer horns. Metahuman and metavariant are in character terms, even if they may not be used by some segments of the population.
okay...then my point is - is Helios the type of person who would use those terms often?
HMHVV Hunter
I'm not sure. It's not really a detail I've paid much attention to. I just assumed it was what was commonly used.
Great story so far Hunter, i really like it. Especially describing the "big gun" before having Yamato tell you what it is, it shows how Helios has some knowledge of guns, but doesn't recongize stuff in a instant.

Great job, and keep it comming...

*nod* Again, I say it's a good story, and I'm definately looking forward to the next chapter.
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