Full Version: Good one-liners
Pain is a commodity; someone's always lookin' to buy or sell it cheap.
"If I had bullets, I'd shoot you."
(Said while pursuing a fleeing target): "You can run, but you'll only die tired."
Said by an ex-UCAS sniper, I suppose?
"Oh no, not again!"
"Is there anything more beautiful than a naked elf chick crying on another naked elf's chick's breasts?" - Overheard frequently in the den of Shadowrunners in the age bracket of 15-25.
| QUOTE (Hoondatha) |
| Said by an ex-UCAS sniper, I suppose? |
Actually, it was said in another campaign by a vicious, pint-sized killer to a quarry which had been eluding him for days.
This isn't mine. I stole it from someone. I don't remember who. If you know, please give credit where it is due.
"I would punch you but I don't want to get stupid on my hands."
"I would punch you but I don't want to get stupid on my hands."
Hello, gentlemen. I have come to take your lives.
"I don't give a damn about my life but if I do die here, I'll make sure I'll drag you down to hell along with me."
"I don't give a damn about my life but if I do die here, I'll make sure I'll drag you down to hell along with me."
"Don't mind the troll demolitions expert. She's just PMSing at the moment."
The player got thwapped by the female members of the group for that.
The player got thwapped by the female members of the group for that.
"It's a party!"
"If keep it up you are going to die of lead poisoning."
After getting slugged in the face by my brother, I replied,
"Nice punch. Your dead."
"You hear the distinctive whir of a vindicater"
To my bleeding comrade.
Nice catch! I thought you were going to miss that bullet.
After getting slugged in the face by my brother, I replied,
"Nice punch. Your dead."
"You hear the distinctive whir of a vindicater"
To my bleeding comrade.
Nice catch! I thought you were going to miss that bullet.
Often times, real-life quotes are the most compellling. Here's one I remember:
"One shot, one kill! Bwahhwahwahwahwah!"
-an aging ex-marine when teaching a basic firearms familiarization course for a physical education class on a municipal outdoor range in New York State.
The key to this quote is to get the goofy giggle at the end right. When done right, it should make everyone at the table also burst out laughing.
"One shot, one kill! Bwahhwahwahwahwah!"
-an aging ex-marine when teaching a basic firearms familiarization course for a physical education class on a municipal outdoor range in New York State.
The key to this quote is to get the goofy giggle at the end right. When done right, it should make everyone at the table also burst out laughing.
Moody Shadowrunner background intro:
"I became a killer the day I stole the life from my mother at birth."
Idiotic Street sam logic:
"Quick, cast invinsibility on it! If we can't see it, it's not there!"
"I became a killer the day I stole the life from my mother at birth."
Idiotic Street sam logic:
"Quick, cast invinsibility on it! If we can't see it, it's not there!"
I love each and every one of your bitter, thrice-damned souls.
From Tombstone:
"Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I turn your head into a canoe."
from Reservoir Dogs:
"You think about shooting me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."
"Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I turn your head into a canoe."
from Reservoir Dogs:
"You think about shooting me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."
And the classics (sometimes borrowed and changed):
"I have six friends here and they are much faster than you"
"A Manhunter beats Kung Fu anytime"
"God created man, Ares made them equal"
Birdy
"Soldier! What are you going to feel when that slimy elf creeps towards your foxhole?"
"Recoil Sergeant! Recoil"
"I have six friends here and they are much faster than you"
"A Manhunter beats Kung Fu anytime"
"God created man, Ares made them equal"
Birdy
"Soldier! What are you going to feel when that slimy elf creeps towards your foxhole?"
"Recoil Sergeant! Recoil"
"Aw man, I just got this leg serviced."
~J
~J
The 50 year old street sam and the body-of-a-troll physad are talking to the last remaining Yak thug who just attacked them, giving him the option to live and deliver a message to his bosses. The thug quick draws and shoots both chars point blank with a heavy pistol, both targets simply soak Serious wounds to nothing. They both look down at the Yak, the physad cracks his knuckles activating killing hands and the sam springs his cyber spurs saying "You should have taken the first option."
"Backup toots, Papa's drivin' now."
Here's another real-life quote which could work well in Shadowrun:
"A garotte? That's kind of slow. Maybe if you like your work..."
-Ex-marine martial arts instructor from the Bronx discussing old school type silent kills
"A garotte? That's kind of slow. Maybe if you like your work..."
-Ex-marine martial arts instructor from the Bronx discussing old school type silent kills
- In a third edition game:
"Count yourself lucky I haven't finished research on Turn to Goo yet."
"Count yourself lucky I haven't finished research on Turn to Goo yet."
"I see your ten millimeters and raise you thirty." Quickdrawing a MGL-6 in response to an Ares Predator.
"You guys better stay cloaked!" Said after QuickDraw had to take on four Paladins (not all at once) in hand to hand combat becuase the rest of the party had rutheium armor.
"Say it with High Explosive!" After launching a grenade into the Ant Queens chamber.
"Do I look like I care if you live or die?"
"You guys better stay cloaked!" Said after QuickDraw had to take on four Paladins (not all at once) in hand to hand combat becuase the rest of the party had rutheium armor.
"Say it with High Explosive!" After launching a grenade into the Ant Queens chamber.
"Do I look like I care if you live or die?"
| QUOTE (lorthazar) |
| "I see your ten millimeters and raise you thirty." Quickdrawing a MGL-6 in response to an Ares Predator. |
One of my favorite one liners from any of the games I ever ran has a little explaining neccessary to undertand why we all found it so amusing.
There was this one character in my first Shadowrun campaign who just had the worst luck imaginable. It seemed like no matter how much he tweaked himself out, this poor guy couldn't catch a break. Drek just kept happening to him, and he would normaly do okay but then fail at the most critical of moments, which would lead to more opportunities for the storyline to screw him (but in the fun kind of way).
This went on for TWO CAMPAIGNS before his luck finally turned around. When I started the third campaign, we brought another player in, whose character street handle was "Bad Karma". When he was first introduced to the party, they asked what his name was and he said....
"My name isn't important- But you can call me Bad Karma."
The player with the history of bad luck just nodded this knowing nod and said, so flatly:
"Yeah... I've had some of that."
And everybody chuckled.
Of course, the player playing Bad Karma didn't get the joke. And this probably doesn't sound all that funny to you guys, but it sure was funny in context.
Winter
There was this one character in my first Shadowrun campaign who just had the worst luck imaginable. It seemed like no matter how much he tweaked himself out, this poor guy couldn't catch a break. Drek just kept happening to him, and he would normaly do okay but then fail at the most critical of moments, which would lead to more opportunities for the storyline to screw him (but in the fun kind of way).
This went on for TWO CAMPAIGNS before his luck finally turned around. When I started the third campaign, we brought another player in, whose character street handle was "Bad Karma". When he was first introduced to the party, they asked what his name was and he said....
"My name isn't important- But you can call me Bad Karma."
The player with the history of bad luck just nodded this knowing nod and said, so flatly:
"Yeah... I've had some of that."
And everybody chuckled.
Of course, the player playing Bad Karma didn't get the joke. And this probably doesn't sound all that funny to you guys, but it sure was funny in context.
Winter
Mess with the best, die like the rest.
(Would like to know the source, but I donīt)
(Would like to know the source, but I donīt)
I think it's from Hackers
Birdy
Birdy
I've had the chance to make and use a few snappy one liners in my time.
This one was because of my cousin. This guy has the most messed up luck in the world, like he'll get into a car accident that will totally demolish the car that his livelyhood depends on (happened twice) and he'll walk away without a scratch. Or when playing poker he'll lose his shirt all night and then find a wad of cash on the ground outside on his walk home and then get home to find out he's been robbed. Anyway this one night I was waiting for him under the overhang of our local grocery store and it was raining pretty good, he gets out of his car, no umbrella, no coat, just the clothes on his back and he walks up to me and in the 20 feet between his car and the overhang he doesn't get touched by a single drop of water, I shit you not. So while standing there just looking at him stone faced I was just like "...Dude, that ain't right." In retrospect it doesn't seem that funny but we both cracked up at the time.
This one was because of my cousin. This guy has the most messed up luck in the world, like he'll get into a car accident that will totally demolish the car that his livelyhood depends on (happened twice) and he'll walk away without a scratch. Or when playing poker he'll lose his shirt all night and then find a wad of cash on the ground outside on his walk home and then get home to find out he's been robbed. Anyway this one night I was waiting for him under the overhang of our local grocery store and it was raining pretty good, he gets out of his car, no umbrella, no coat, just the clothes on his back and he walks up to me and in the 20 feet between his car and the overhang he doesn't get touched by a single drop of water, I shit you not. So while standing there just looking at him stone faced I was just like "...Dude, that ain't right." In retrospect it doesn't seem that funny but we both cracked up at the time.
Thanks.
This one drew more than a few groans and eye-rolls--at least, metaphorically speaking, since I've never actually met (face-to-face, that is) any of the members of my Play-By-AIM group.
Just as a stealth extraction mission went bad, I said, IC, to my two compatriots, Ceres the Cat Shaman, and Glasswalker, an NPC Street Samurai who'd hired our team for said mission:
"Well, lady and gentleman, it looks like the excrement has recently contacted the anterior surface of the rotary ventilator...or, in more earthy terms, the drek just hit the fan."
--Foreigner
Just as a stealth extraction mission went bad, I said, IC, to my two compatriots, Ceres the Cat Shaman, and Glasswalker, an NPC Street Samurai who'd hired our team for said mission:
"Well, lady and gentleman, it looks like the excrement has recently contacted the anterior surface of the rotary ventilator...or, in more earthy terms, the drek just hit the fan."
--Foreigner
| QUOTE |
| Mess with the best, die like the rest. (Would like to know the source, but I donīt) |
U.S. Special Forces Motto, particularly the Green Berets
Our GM to sword-wielding street sammie as PC was engulfed by NPC's Fire Elemental.
"Just how many clips of EX-Ammo and Big D-s temper shells did you say you were carrying?
"Just how many clips of EX-Ammo and Big D-s temper shells did you say you were carrying?
"An intelligent guard? I didn't see that one coming."
| QUOTE (The Grifter @ Aug 27 2005, 09:07 AM) | ||
U.S. Special Forces Motto, particularly the Green Berets |
Also heard it as "F*** with the best, fall with the rest."
Something about being a soldier/marine makes you talk like most of Joe Pesci's characters. <shrug>
| QUOTE (Wintermancer) |
| One of my favorite one liners from any of the games I ever ran has a little explaining neccessary to undertand why we all found it so amusing. There was this one character in my first Shadowrun campaign who just had the worst luck imaginable. It seemed like no matter how much he tweaked himself out, this poor guy couldn't catch a break. Drek just kept happening to him, and he would normaly do okay but then fail at the most critical of moments, which would lead to more opportunities for the storyline to screw him (but in the fun kind of way). This went on for TWO CAMPAIGNS before his luck finally turned around. When I started the third campaign, we brought another player in, whose character street handle was "Bad Karma". When he was first introduced to the party, they asked what his name was and he said.... "My name isn't important- But you can call me Bad Karma." The player with the history of bad luck just nodded this knowing nod and said, so flatly: "Yeah... I've had some of that." And everybody chuckled. Of course, the player playing Bad Karma didn't get the joke. And this probably doesn't sound all that funny to you guys, but it sure was funny in context. Winter |
I've had the same thing happen...I'm not sure why, but one of the PC's needed to be twinked, because that got him average roles.
| QUOTE (The Grifter @ Aug 27 2005, 10:07 AM) | ||
U.S. Special Forces Motto, particularly the Green Berets |
No, the Special Forces motto is De Oppresso Liber. All other reports of mottos are simply urban legend, and while they are probably things that have at some point been said by Special Forces soldiers, there is only one motto.
Not to mention that Special Forces are the green berets.
| QUOTE (Arethusa @ Aug 27 2005, 03:04 PM) |
| Not to mention that Special Forces are the green berets. |
Arethusa:
Indeed.
Pardon me for making a brief off-topic excursion.
In a novel I read once--THE EMBASSY HOUSE, by Nicholas Proffitt (Copyright Đ 1986 by Bantam Books, Inc.), if you're interested-- a member of the U.S. Army's Special Forces corrected a Regular Army NCO as follows:
Sergeant Harry Swain: "...We don't want double agents runnin' all over the place, like in that Green Beret case."
Captain Jonathan Gulliver: "A green beret is a hat, Swain--the men who wear it are Special Forces,"....
--Foreigner
One that comes to mind was in a play-by-AIM game.
I can't remember the specific circumstances, but I remember that my character (a gunslinger adept created after watching "The Boondock Saints") was accosted by a gunman wearing a Richard Nixon mask. After subduing the guy, I couldn't resist making this line:
"Sorry, Mister President."
Yeah, it's not as good as some of the others, but I just couldn't help myself
I can't remember the specific circumstances, but I remember that my character (a gunslinger adept created after watching "The Boondock Saints") was accosted by a gunman wearing a Richard Nixon mask. After subduing the guy, I couldn't resist making this line:
"Sorry, Mister President."
Yeah, it's not as good as some of the others, but I just couldn't help myself
This happened about a month ago.
My group had just finished assaulting a Saeder-Krupp facility and were on our way out. I'm down to my last two clips for the Alpha and one clip for the other three guns. The rest of the group is in a similar situation. Perfect time to find security blocking the exit, eh?
The fight happens, I fire off 42 rounds from the assault rifle while the others each empty a clip, and right as I'm considering what to do next a crazy office worker steps into the open with a grenade in his hands and enough EX-ex on his belt to make the entire hallway into a salsa factory. Worse, one successful roll reveals that I can see text identifying the grenade as a white phosphorous. The office worker shouts that he was counting our shots and that if we dare try to reload, he'll pull the pin. The rest of the group groans but I smile, as I can see the GM had forgotten the little modification I did the previous session (I had funny suspicions he had, due to the strange looks he gave me all session, but the classic bullet test was a sure sign).
My response? I fired my last 8 rounds into the office worker's chest and said, "Extended clip, numbnuts."
Then I reloaded.
My group had just finished assaulting a Saeder-Krupp facility and were on our way out. I'm down to my last two clips for the Alpha and one clip for the other three guns. The rest of the group is in a similar situation. Perfect time to find security blocking the exit, eh?
The fight happens, I fire off 42 rounds from the assault rifle while the others each empty a clip, and right as I'm considering what to do next a crazy office worker steps into the open with a grenade in his hands and enough EX-ex on his belt to make the entire hallway into a salsa factory. Worse, one successful roll reveals that I can see text identifying the grenade as a white phosphorous. The office worker shouts that he was counting our shots and that if we dare try to reload, he'll pull the pin. The rest of the group groans but I smile, as I can see the GM had forgotten the little modification I did the previous session (I had funny suspicions he had, due to the strange looks he gave me all session, but the classic bullet test was a sure sign).
My response? I fired my last 8 rounds into the office worker's chest and said, "Extended clip, numbnuts."
Then I reloaded.
| QUOTE (Ryu @ Aug 27 2005, 03:28 AM) |
| Mess with the best, die like the rest. (Would like to know the source, but I donīt) |
That quote it from the movie hackers, as stated by Zerocool.
The Berets stole it.
i must say tho that i much prefer the statement:
"pool on the roof must have a leak"
from same movie.
alltho its only realy funny in context
(one hacked school spinker system set to go of at x time, one umbrella opend at exact time to avoid getting wet, hallway full of wet, running people. the combo is priceless
)
"pool on the roof must have a leak"
from same movie.
alltho its only realy funny in context
(one hacked school spinker system set to go of at x time, one umbrella opend at exact time to avoid getting wet, hallway full of wet, running people. the combo is priceless
)
| QUOTE |
| Not to mention that Special Forces are the green berets. |
Well, Green Berets are Special Forces, yes, but they are not the only Special Forces. Navy S.E.A.L.'s, Marine Force Recon, Air Force Combat Control, Army Rangers, Delta Force...all of these are Special Forces.
The are the only Army Special Forces, and the only unit called Special Forces. Do we really need to argue semantics?
SEALs are part of Naval SpecWar. Air Force Special Operations.
Marines are not SF.
SEALs are part of Naval SpecWar. Air Force Special Operations.
Marines are not SF.
Character with ZERO ettiquette on a run on a space station:
Security guard: "Let me see your papers. Now, where are you from again?"
Character: "Umm.. Earth?"
Also: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die."
Also: "Hit me with some more lame tautology, Socrates" (Paris on Gilmore Girls)
Security guard: "Let me see your papers. Now, where are you from again?"
Character: "Umm.. Earth?"
Also: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die."
Also: "Hit me with some more lame tautology, Socrates" (Paris on Gilmore Girls)
| QUOTE (The Grifter) |
| Well, Green Berets are Special Forces, yes, but they are not the only Special Forces. Navy S.E.A.L.'s, Marine Force Recon, Air Force Combat Control, Army Rangers, Delta Force...all of these are Special Forces. |
No, all of those are Special Warfare (SpecWar) units, answerable to Special Operations Command (SOCOM). The term "Special Forces" just refers to Army Special Forces. But it's a common mistake.
As for good lines, here's a couple:
From Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash:
"I'm sure they'll listen to reason."
<after the opposing force is suddenly wiped out>
"See, I told you they'd listen to Reason."
"Reason
version 1.0B7
Gatling-type 3-mm hypervelocity railgun system"
From Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai:
"Well, now you really are going to have to shoot me. C'mon! Shoot me!"
<blam>
"Ow! You fuckin' shot me!"
"You told me to. I dont' mean you no disrespect."
<later>
"Ow! You shot me in the same exact place as last time!"
"I don't mean you no disrespect. Besides, I don't want to put too many holes in you."
From Brian K. Vaughan's Runaways:
<two teams are in a tense stand-off, when suddenly the members of the one team are taken down by (non-lethal) lasers from the other team's vehicle>
"Hey! Did you guys know our car has lasers? Lasers!"
<after they all pile in>
"Did you see? Lasers!"
<on their way home>
"Uh... why isn't the cloaking field active?"
"No can do. I think all the power from the invisibilty dohickey was drained into the weapons systems."
"So then how are we supposed to get back to our secret base undetected?"
".....lasers?"
...and later in Runaways:
"Do you guys have a rallying cry? You know, 'Avengers Assemble?' 'It's clobbering time?' 'Hulk Smash?'"
"Yeah. 'Try not to die.'"
And from one of the Shadowrun campaigns I'm in:
"Bad day to be Frank Munchler."
<Munchler, a registered sex offender, is then beaten senseless, surgucally altered to look like our extraction target, loaded with explosives, and used to decoy and destroy a Saeder-Krupp team.>
<The team's flight to Amazonia crashes in Aztlan. We take the other survivors across the border with us, fighting off Azzies all the way. Unfortunately, that attracts some unwanted media attention, so one member of the team distracts the reporters by putting on a Mexican Wrestler mask and claiming to be a superhero.>
"I am... El Gringo Magnifico! Hark! I hear the cry of the oppressed in need of saving! El Gringo Magnifico away!"
<he then runs off, pretending to fly, while the rest of us escape out the back>
| QUOTE (TheNarrator) |
| "I am... El Gringo Magnifico! Hark! I hear the cry of the oppressed in need of saving! El Gringo Magnifico away!" |
ROTFLMAO
"Monomolecular net guns, now that is just wrong."
"Lasers don't care if you are bullet proof."
"I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick a$$, and I am all out of bubblegum."
"Didn't I kill you already?"
"Don't start. I'm too tired not to kill you."
"Right now I am thinking of how many pieces i would like to to carve you into before you die."
"Somebody offered me a great deal of money to kill you, but i'm doing it for free."
"Lasers don't care if you are bullet proof."
"I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick a$$, and I am all out of bubblegum."
"Didn't I kill you already?"
"Don't start. I'm too tired not to kill you."
"Right now I am thinking of how many pieces i would like to to carve you into before you die."
"Somebody offered me a great deal of money to kill you, but i'm doing it for free."
From the classic Zardoz: "The gun is good. The penis is evil."
| QUOTE |
| No, all of those are Special Warfare (SpecWar) units, answerable to Special Operations Command (SOCOM). The term "Special Forces" just refers to Army Special Forces. But it's a common mistake. |
No, it's not a common mistake, since you just basically said the same exact thing a re-worded it. Any SpecWar unit is Special Forces. They mean the same thing.
| QUOTE |
Marines are not SF. |
No, Marines themselves are not a special forces unit, but Marine Force Recon is.
And I can say that both Force Recon and Seals are basically bug house nuts.
But, uhhh, I say it with all respect
I dont' have personal experience with the other branches, but my suspicions are that it is a common trait.
Back on topic.
Way back in first edition, I was running a campaign and one of the players had a ten year old daughter that wanted to play. Usually she fell asleep, but on one occasion she was awake and actively participating. I had put together a generic "Steppin' Razor" clone for her, and she was having fun with it. At one point, she chased down a guy and tackled him. He manages to get a gun out and shoots at her. She completely avoids damage with her dodge alone. I ask her what she does next and she says "Would you like to try that again?"
We all looked pretty silly with our mouths hanging wide open, but it is one of the most memorable lines I have had in my games in 15 years.
But, uhhh, I say it with all respect
I dont' have personal experience with the other branches, but my suspicions are that it is a common trait.
Back on topic.
Way back in first edition, I was running a campaign and one of the players had a ten year old daughter that wanted to play. Usually she fell asleep, but on one occasion she was awake and actively participating. I had put together a generic "Steppin' Razor" clone for her, and she was having fun with it. At one point, she chased down a guy and tackled him. He manages to get a gun out and shoots at her. She completely avoids damage with her dodge alone. I ask her what she does next and she says "Would you like to try that again?"
We all looked pretty silly with our mouths hanging wide open, but it is one of the most memorable lines I have had in my games in 15 years.
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