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mmu1
... to post whatever amusing manifestations of psychosis have come up in your games. Let me get started:

We're infilitrating an office tower in Bug City:

Shadowcat: *sniff, sniff* "Dead humans ahead, probably dead too long to be of any use."

Blake: "If I see you checking if dead people are still edible, again..."

Alex: (to Blake on a private channel) "Why can't we ever have normal teammates, like that guy with the legs named after him?"
Calvin Hobbes
"No, I stab the movement tentacles, not the ones attacking Vincent."
- One of my teammates.

Me: "When can I lead the mission?"
The *entire* Team: "When you stop being a frag up!"

"You ever killed someone for money before?"
"Well, not for *money*"
Konsaki
Me, dwarf sam, and my team are driving away from a research facility with a pile of dead guards we plan to rape for their cyber, a research subject and two doctors that were on the project of said subject. One of the guards isnt quite dead in the back and one of the doctors says, "He's not dead, we can still save him."
The two other team mates that were in the back with me groan and I quickly pull out my Ares Pred and unload my clip into the now dead guard. "Ok, save him now."
wargear
"My God, you killed them with your erection!"

A quote from our teams phys ad immediately following the incident wherein Jack Flash, a sam, hurled himself groin first at a fully crewed APC while stark naked and neutralised half the blighters with an Intimidation check. (Which allowed the rest of us to kill the crew and capture the APC intact.)
Jack Kain
6 go-gangers and their leader with knives and chains shround me and the dwarf. Our technomancer friend was unconcious but stable after some vicious cybercombat.
As they close in I turn to the dwarf and say.
"Six againts two thats not very fair to them now is it."


"Unless you want my monofilament whip shoved up your ass I advise your surrender right now"

Lightning Jack:, "Before you have us killed tell me did it hurt?"
Gang Leader: "Did what hurt?"
Fires machine pistol, burst fire, EXEX, -8 penalty for ignoring the armor jacket.
"That!"
Fire Hawk
"Daisy Eater ISN'T an elf?!" - Nick, dwarven rigger, upon discovering that the PC that he'd been calling "Daisy Eater" for the past twelve sessions is actually a human with a good Charisma score.

Amy (Physad): (Mutters) "Actually, I forgot to look..."
Nick: "What?!"
Amy: "I said that b!%ch at Waffle House can't f@#$ing cook!"
- Amy's response when asked about the security at the building she was doing recon work at.

EDIT: Oh, by the way, Due to the results of the session I GM'ed on tuesday, November 22nd is now known as "FISH day".
mfb
(in Russian) "Fuck your mother!"

"In Soviet Russia, my mother fucks you!"
blakkie
"Buddy comes out of the store and looks at me funny, so I shoot him. *shrug*" - the guy that aways plays characters that shoots lots of people
Caine Hazen
Our most psycotic Sam ever...

We had just faced of with some barghasts, which had paralyzed him, when we got to the handler's room he proceeded to barge in and put 2 bullets in his knees and dropped him, followed immediately by him running up, grabbing his hair and jamming the gun to his forhead...

SAM: "You have a wife!?!?!!?!"
Handler: "YES!! GOD YES!!!"
Sam: "You have any Kids?"
Handler: "no, I...."
Sam: "Wrong answer"; pulls trigger....
BrianL03
QUOTE (Caine Hazen)
Our most psycotic Sam ever...

We had just faced of with some barghasts, which had paralyzed him, when we got to the handler's room he proceeded to barge in and put 2 bullets in his knees and dropped him, followed immediately by him running up, grabbing his hair and jamming the gun to his forhead...

SAM: "You have a wife!?!?!!?!"
Handler: "YES!! GOD YES!!!"
Sam: "You have any Kids?"
Handler: "no, I...."
Sam: "Wrong answer"; pulls trigger....

Oh God, I'm going to have to remember that for some of the runs I'm GMing >:)
Tanegar
QUOTE (wargear)
"My God, you killed them with your erection!"

That gets my vote for Best Quote Ever. rotfl.gif
SL James
This is why I love SR's social skill rules so much.
Sahandrian
Good thing my group's forums have a thread dedicated to random game quotes. First, the online-only group...

"If I'm not there, look for the depressed fire elemental." - Devin, Coyote Shaman

"Hello Shin. Got an elemental in your corner, ya know." - Devin

"Are you flammable? You can stay at my place, but only if you're flammable." - Ler, combat decker/sorcerer

"Geniuses tend to be idiots? Are they oxymorons, too? Or do they just make bad puns?" - Devin

"Oh my god, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man attacks!" - Zem, decker

"I got a new pet today. I'll feed him and walk him and inflict such incredible pain upon his mortal mind that he will never recover and name him George. Wait, he already has a name. Damnit. That's worth at least another decade of torture if I can't name him George! You people take all the fun out of this." - Kejeri, self-proclaimed Incarnation of Chaos and possible horror, exists to torment and terrify several group members

"Shut up, random voice number forty-seven." - Gwynfi, vampire converted from a VtM Malkavain

"No, but I have this chainsaw who needs fresh blood... no, I didn't say that, what are you implying?! I'm not crazy, it's just that Mr Happy Flesheater has special needs like love and caring and the blood of the innocent..." - Ler

"Mostly by being a retard." - Ler

Ler: "You mean it looks like... your face!"
Zem: "That doesn't even make any sense."
Ler: "Your face doesn't make any sense!"

"Those who fail to see our funny will face the wrath of a five-year-old asian child." - Zem

"Lovely like the time I cast Detect Sexual Orientation on Lofwyr and found out dark secrets that I am hunted for to this very day?!" - Ler



Next bunch, the face-to-face game. Petrio is an adept, Goliath is a troll street sam, Boris is a rigger, Leon is a shaman, Rookwood is a path of the mage adept, Epoc is a neo-wannabe adept, and Cap is an adept. It's not a huge group, we just have scheduling problems so we rarely have more than 3-4 players.

(as sniper fire is crashing through the windows of Petrio's house, he's on the phone with Goliath)
Petrio: (phone) "Goliath, what the f**k you doin to my house now?!"
Goliath: (phone) "What- why you think I'm doing something?!"
Petrio: (phone) "You destroyed it the last time!"
Goliath: ... (hangs up)

(after the house caught on fire)
DM: "So, the books all caught on fire."
Petrio: "Eh, they all sucked anyway."

Boris: "Fire doesn't really hurt if you're fast."
Petrio: "Yes it does!"

DM: "You many enemies do you think Petrio has?"
Petrio: (OOC) "Uh... the entire city of Chicago..."

Boris: (OOC) "Hunted, General Public."

Boris: (OOC) "That was back when my character was rooming with Petrio..."
Petrio: (OOC) "Dude, you weren't rooming with me! You broke into my house and wouldn't leave!"

I think I've quoted that one on here three times now...

Petrio: "That was the most hardcore thing ever. Hardcore like punching a dragon in the fire gland so that it's head explodes."

(Leon - Conjuring, Charisma, & Magic all 6's - vs force 3 watcher)
DM: "You (Leon, astrally percieving) see what looks like an eye with hands float by Epoc, then head towards the mage."
Leon: "I try to banish it" (rolls 1-2-4-5-5-6)
DM: (rolls for the watchers chance to resist, rolls 7-8-11) "...The watcher's form shimmers for a moment, then it panics and bolts for the mage."
Leon: "...I'm going to go cry in a corner now..."


(The J is trying to get us to sign a contract. Leon does, Cap declines.)
Rookwood: Is there any drawback to not signing the contract?
Mr J: Oh, no, it just helps with the bookkeeping.
Rookwood: Good, just making sure. But either way, I prefer to deal in things a little more... binding, than contracts. Leon, hold out your hand.
Leon: No! You're going to kill me or something!
Rookwood: I'm not going to kill you. That would be entirely counterproductive.
Leon: I don't trust you.
Rookwood: Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?
Leon: ...probably.
Cap: Oh, just give 'em yer hand so we can be on with it.
Leon: Fine! (holds out his hand)
Rookwood: (very quickly slashes a knife across Leon's fingers, then turns and draws a line across a contract with the blood) Like I said.
Leon: You stabbed me!
Rookwood: No I didn't. A stab would be a forward, thrusting motion. That was clearly a slashing motion. (wipes the blade off with a small cloth, puts both away)
Leon: But... God damnit, I hate you people. (walks back to the car)
Mr J: (writes "Leon, DNA sample" on the paper and slides it into a plastic bag)
Leon: (OOC) Aw, damnit! Now someone has my blood!
Rookwood: (OOC) Two people.
Leon: (OOC) Wha?
Rookwood: (OOC) Remember I pocketed the cloth I wiped the blood off on?
Leon: (OOC) ...I hate you so much.
lorechaser
QUOTE

Leon: But... God damnit, I hate you people. (walks back to the car)
Mr J: (writes "Leon, DNA sample" on the paper and slides it into a plastic bag)
Leon: (OOC) Aw, damnit! Now someone has my blood!
Rookwood: (OOC) Two people.
Leon: (OOC) Wha?
Rookwood: (OOC) Remember I pocketed the cloth I wiped the blood off on?
Leon: (OOC) ...I hate you so much.


That so sounds like my group.....


I really need to start writing some of our quotes down. These are paraphrased from memory, but they capture the essence of the scene. wink.gif

Yun, Asian Ork, parking her new Westwind Sedan in the Ork Barrens.

"We not go far - this new car. This bad neighborhood. Orks steal."

T'osh, Ork Street Doc, who glitched so badly on a negotiation roll that the NPC decker who she was trying to hire ended up moving in to her doss. "Hey! He's really persuasive!"
Stuffer Shack, Elven Ninja Adept, who has a real name, but no one cares to remember, "He's an annoying smelly dwarf! His name is Deadmeat!"
T'osh "I'll do better next time."

T'Osh's player to Beatdown, Troll Physad's player (me): "So, were you going to tell me you had Spirit Bane (Air) before or after I summoned the Force 6 air spirit?"

(Answer: After. Because it's funnier that way).

Yurgen (Ork mage)'s player, referring to Beatdown (Who has a Cha of 1 and a personality which combines Andrew Dice Clay and the Two Wild and Crazy Guys): "I was seriously considering spending the Karma to learn Silence, just so I could cast it on Beatdown when needed."

Stuffer Shack Ninja, after learning that his Physad abilities do not function in this null-magic zone: "Uh oh. I can...um...still kick him, right?"
GM: "Yes, you can still kick the 8' troll"
Stuffer Shack Ninja: "Uh, I guess I do that."
(Note: It didn't help).

GM, playing a poncy go Ganger: "We're the RAY-zors. We're Hard Core! (throws a pseudo-gang sign that makes the entire group laugh.) We love you, Stuffer Shack Ninja! Will you wear our helmet? We carved our logo on the side, so everyone can see that you're a RAY-zor, and it'll be coooooool."
warrior_allanon
characters: SR3 game
Wolfgar-the orriginal weapons specialist physical adept elf with no charisma whatsoever
Clank-troll to orc sized human street sam with the flaw Liar small charisma but so much game it hurts.
Eddie-Human tech wiz and fixer with great charisma attribute.

precurssor Situation: Wolfgar and Clank are pulling recon on an extraction in the renraku arcology mall. Wolfgar is doing the majority of the work since Clank is being loud and obnoxious and has no sense of either propriety nor stealth. Fed up with Clank's shenanigans Wolfgar approaches a young aparently asian woman and hands her 200 nuyen and asks her to keep his friend (clank) busy for a while. She agrees and pockets the money then proceeds to lead Clank off while Wolfgar continues the survelance.

She takes Clank to the hotel portion of the arcology and they get a room on Clanks dime. Once in the room they strip and start to get busy and while in a particular position the woman all of a sudden shapeshifts into a wolf. This of course freaks Clank out who bolts out the door and down the hall using the back stairwell to make good his escape in nothing but the bedsheet. Using the cyber cell phone in his head he contacts eddie for a pick up since eddie is also the team's usual driver, Eddie of course requires a full explination of why Clank needs a pickup and once the story is told eddie agrees to come and pick clank up. Of course once clank stepped into the modified Roadmaster that was the team's signature van eddie had to make the following comment.

(Eddie) "Clank everyone knew it would happen eventually, but jesus did you have to get so literal with it."

(Clank) "What do you mean?"

(Eddie) "Well we all knew sooner or later you'd end up with a dog."

Sahandrian
And I found more. I've probably only dug through half the threads we have on this...

"Mages are definetly all werdios, especially wierd ones." - Dot, decker

"We all thought we were confused before, then those two start talking." - Dot

"Maybe cause that's the guy who turned you into a woman?" - Lusypher (forget who that was...)

"See, that's why you don't give idiots smartframes. They use them for that sort of crap." - Zem

"What an amusing collection of mental disorders personified I have here to observe." - Kejeri

"You're all idiots. You know this, right?" - Sahandrian, decker/face

"No, I've been to one hell already, and have no intention of visiting another." - Devin, upon being asked to join an arcology run

"I was staring at a lava lamp out of boredom at that point." - Gwynfi

"I should put cleaning up other runner's mistakes on my resume." - Drake

"There. It's settled. NO MORE ARGUING, KIDS!" - Gwynfi

Mr J: "You're surprisingly accepting for a runner. Most I've seen go through a lot of trouble to figure out who's hiring them, why, and for how much..."
Phaeton: "...Who are you, come to think of it? Do I know you? ...Or DID I know you? And what's the pay, and why do you want this done?"
Mr J: "...you didn't think of any of those questions until I brought it up, did you?"
Phaeton: "...Maybe."

"Yo, Joey's Pizza. If you don't like it, too bad. You don't get your money back." - Shinji, vampire-hunter adept, answering the phone

"AHHHHHH! GHOSTS! ...Wait... Just my phone." - Shinji

"Right, then you misfire and we all die faster." - Sahandrian

"It is not polite to drive already near psychotic people into paranoia." - Ceres, cat shaman & SURGEd night one elf (yes, she's a catgirl)


From a scene in the matrix, as it was posted on the forums (mostly)...

Lazuli: Working on it... Damnit, the IC! Ler, where are you?!
Ler: Calm down, I was just getting a drink...
Ler: *** Attack-D14
Jaya: A rating 14 program?! Where the hell do you get that?!
Ler: In a box of cracker jacks.


Found a roleplay with Sahandrian, Devin, Gwynfi, and Ceres that was posted.

"Is it him, me, or the other him? Oh, you mean HIM! Of course, how silly. You quit trying to kill me already. Now what were we talking about again?" - Devin

"Tuna salad starts to look bad after sitting out about 13 hours ...it's some kinda yellow gelatin at this point." - Devin

"I should really just become a masochist someday. We'd get along better." - Devin

"Someday you're going to forgot to close the curtains when you go to sleep, and it'll be a sunny day." - Sahandrian, to Gwynfi

"I'm just going to stop listening to you when you talk unless it seems relevant, Gwynfi." - Ceres

"Did you know I had macaroni and cheese in here? ...cause I didn't." - Devin, interrupting a meet

"So until someone shows up who's knowledge of psychology is not limited to breaking through the mental barriers of other people, I will be off playing in traffic." - Devin

"It wouldn't matter anyway. I'm supposed to be dead, after all." - Devin

"You love being annoying and cryptic, don't you?" - Sahandrian, to Devin

"The way things are going, I'm rapidly approaching my fourth death. Those get annoying, you know." - Devin

"You sound like a Lewis Carroll character. I'd suggest you go through the looking glass, but it is, of course, broken." - Devin, to Gwynfi


Yue (chinese elf assassin): "You are a very confusing fellow at times, do you realize that?"
Sahandrian: "Yes, that's why I do this sort of thing."

"You two have the weirdest relationship I've ever seen, you know that?" - Mary, to San & Yue

"You comment on where I worked and you're history, luv." - Ceres (a former prostitute)

"Sure. Killing isn't any fun if it's a job." - Ceres (before she lightened up a lot)

"Unless you want scars decorating your face I suggest you drop your attitude." - Ceres, to Phaeton

Ceres: "Tell me why you're going to make me work with these two while you stay here again?"
Sahandrian: "You need practice dealing with idiots?"
Kagetenshi
QUOTE (Sahandrian)
Lazuli: Working on it... Damnit, the IC! Ler, where are you?!
Ler: Calm down, I was just getting a drink...
Ler: *** Attack-D14
Jaya: A rating 14 program?! Where the hell do you get that?!
Ler: In a box of cracker jacks.

Poser. Everyone knows you get a D-14 program out of boxes of Cap'n Crunch.

~J
SL James
Showing your age, old man.
Protagonist
One of my players, after being threatened by hitmen: "You know you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?"

My response which made absolutely no sense: "Well it depends on who's the honey, and who's the bee."

question.gif
fistandantilus4.0
Two from the other night:

One player had been rolling bums for clothes because he'd decied his primary means of transportation would be to change into a seagull. So when they got to the ship they were raiding, I asked what equipment he was bringing . he said his gun and armored jacket . I pointed out a lack of pants. His response:
"If it gets to the point where I need my gun, wearing pants is gonna be the last thing I'm woing to be worried about."

And a good one from our own OneTrickPony, trying to find ways to protect innocent lives, until he found out how expensive gamma-scopaline could be:

"Well yeah, they're innocent, but it's 500 nuyen.gif! They're not worth that much! "


(Later of course, be cracks a guys skull with his titanium bone lacing and uses a 500 nuyen.gif trauma patch on the guy to stabilze him)
OneTrikPony
Yah right.

While planning the run.
Me IC, "I'm just saying I've had enough of killing civilians."

Lucky IC, "that's why I said we'll use narcoject."

Me OOC, "OK gamascopolomine's 50 nuyen... wait, THAT'S PER DOSE?!

Later on the run.
Me counting dice, "so I got 5 hits. That's 5 S(electric) for the shock glove and 12 um... physical? Can't I do stun damage?

GM, "how do you do stun damage with aluminum bone lace"

Me, "F**K! I check his pulse..."

I'm shure that there used to be a way to pull punches. If I were better at this game I'd of lied about how many hits I got wink.gif
[edit] actualy I was looking at narcogect. no one is worth the price of gammascopolomine[/edit]
Tanka
QUOTE (OneTrikPony)
I'm shure that there used to be a way to pull punches.

I haven't seen any for SR4.
fistandantilus4.0
QUOTE (OneTrickPony)
um... physical? Can't I do stun damage?

Didn't help that you made a called shot for the back of the head from suprise either. wink.gif

Logic 2 ork, it works. Just didn't think it through. biggrin.gif
SL James
Oh, I bet he got stunned all right. Especially as the ork's fist was coming out of his face.
fistandantilus4.0
Last quote, as the ork was getting up after putting the patch un the unconcious and bleeding human, think of how frail he was :

"shoulda been born an ork"
lorechaser
QUOTE (fistandantilus3.0 @ Nov 27 2006, 07:41 PM)
Last quote, as the ork was getting up after putting the patch un the unconcious and bleeding human, think of how frail he was :

"shoulda been born an ork"

Best quote of the thread.

One of our characters is named OB. Originally, his name was Orwell Jones, and he was a fine upstanding human. He came to the game, GM checked his sheet over and realized he'd spent about 550 bp. So I took his sheet, trimmed some bits, and explained to him that, like 75% of the party, he should be an ork to save bp. He disagreed. I erased "Human" and wrote "Ork."

He thus became the OB.

Ork Bitch.
DeadNeon
"Its either a hit team, or the Girl Scouts in this neighborhood have a really aggressive sales pitch."
--John Arkham, gun adept. After just narrowly avoiding a shotgun blast to the chest and diving behind cover with the team's face.
Grinder
Inspired by cheesy B-movies, it seems. biggrin.gif
voodoolaw
This actually happened OOC which makes it a little funnier, and now every couple of months someone has to bring it up in the game.

While we were waiting for the GM to finish setting things up, the 6 of us raided his wine stash and then finished off 2 bottles between the 7 of us, much to the later dismay of his wife. Anyway, it's the middle of the summer and there's 7 of us in his basement w/ just a ceiling fan going. The game is just getting ready to start...

Chris: Man it's effin' miserable down here.

Jerry: Yeah it is. Carl (the GM who's basement we're using), this ceiling fan just isn't cutting it.



Me: Well guys, we all *do* have our pants on. Alright, man-up.



Mouths drop and eyes pop, and I swear it only would have been more awkward if someone threw on a porno soundtrack.

Now in my head, I had been looking around realizing that everyone was wearing jeans in the middle of the summer w/ the exception of Chris who just got back from drill and was still in his fatigues. What I meant to say was something along the lines of "that's cause everyone wore pants instead of shorts" and "man-up" just meaning let's get this game on. They made me suffer some pretty harsh jokes that night.

Now in the game every so often, somebody has to bring it up, or just hint at it. Like "Let's catch 'em w/ their pants down" and then everyone looks at me.
Kagetenshi
I'm sad that that meaning was unintentional. You could have invented (possibly independently reinvented) Pantsless Shadowrun.

~J
Mr.Platinum
ah Just look at my signature.
Lacien
This was put in my quote archive after an Ork Shaman tried to get some street info off random pushers in Redmond. I still don't know how much was roleplay and how much wasn't. Needless to say I took it for the former and a startlingly informative and irrelevent roleplay session followed.

“Hey trick, if you wanna go to Sex Valley, then (pause) I got an in with the security guard to get us in for free (pause) so if you wanna (pause) go (pause) see the problem is, that I jumped in with idea without thinking about what I was gonna say. I had the title, I thought I could just go with it. I thought the name could stand alone (pause) but I couldn’t bring the goods.”

God I miss that game.
Homme-qui-rigole
Schizo : "Look, if the A-Plan go bad, I've got three B-plan in mind"

---------

Raven : "Ok, the scientist is now useless, I'll kill him"
Teammates : "NOOOO.... DON'T DO THAT!!!!"
Raven : "Hmmm, OK, I'll just chop one of its arm then."

---------

Ghost : "We were rather stealthy, putting aside the grenade"

---------

(a group of runner try to pass for "normal" priest)

Security guys : "What's your names?"
Player : "i'm Jack. So here Lunch, Ghost and Schizo"

---------

Lunch : "I've got some grams of Nitro if you want"
Raven : "What's that?"
Lunch : "I don't know"
Raven : "ok I would take some then"

------

(Raven has a cyber-radio. An stranger listens on the frequency.)

Raven (to the GM) : "I crush the radio with my foot"

-------

Raven (again): "Don't worry, it's just three ghouls"

------

(A player try to fight two enemy in melee combat within the same action)

Player 1: "You can't do that"
Player 2: "Sure you can, but you got some Recoil"
warrior_allanon
"Well that was a blast!"

Said by Clank (street sam) to Blade (phys ad) when clank had set off a claymore in the weapons check room of the hellhound bar and grill redmond.
mmu1
"Alex's van currently holds surplus Russian nerve gas and pre-teens. She ought to feel proud."

- Our GM, commenting on the team's tendency to accumulate the strange and unusual
BookWyrm
The team was loading up their weapons, getting ready to head out, when one member asks:

Rigger: "Remind me again why we're doing this?"

Street Sam: "For the glory, for the fun, & all the nuke-it burgers you can eat."

Rigger: "Ah."

Troll: "Hold it, there's nuke-it burgers? Why didn't anyone tell me that?"

The Street Sam: "Because you would blow the whole amount on burgers before we even get started."

Troll: "But I always get hungry before a run. I can't help it."

:lol:
Lindt
I think the best one I may have hed yet actually came from a one shot at genCon a few years ago:

GM (me now thinking we are done and I just need to read the epilog): Chris leads you out of town, and stops his honda at the on ramp for I 85.
PC (various people): We stop and get out of the car to thank him.
GM: (role play ensues then suddenly...)
PC: I cold clock him with my pistol
Gm: (confused) he crumples into a heap of teenage limbs with a confused look on his face
PC: (having actually bought rope at one point): I tie his ankles tougther and tie the other end off to the front bumper of his tuner
Gm: and...?
PC: pull the keys out of his pocket, kick him in the ribs, and drive his car off into the sunset.
Gm (ooc): you bastereds!
Kesslan
Well this one isnt funny, but I think underlines the fact that some times we have a habbit of badly understating the obvious. The story isnt 100 percent accurate anymore since I forgot to logg it and it's been almost two years now since this happeend.

The quote: (it makes no sense really untill you read the story below)
"This job sucks. I want to go home now..."
A brief pause and then adding
"I could use a little help." before collapsing.

The Basic Setup:
It was an online game, high risk, high pay run. There were I think, all told about 7 of us or so.
2 Snipers (Myself, a human adept, the other a cybered dwarf)
2 Spell tossers (1 I think elven shaman and the other was a human mage I belive.)
1 Human Sam
1 Human Adept with a weapon focus and specializing in fighting spirits.

The Story! Yays!
Target was a convoy of biomedicals from I think CAT. Anyway, our actual target was only oneo f the trucks, which happened to be in the middle of the formation. THe hit was on a NAN highway that was cut through rock, and happened to have some sorta rare and protected awakened bird things nesting there. The team went in posing as tourists wanting to see the birds or something, we did some recon on foot etc, found a good ambush point and setup the following day when the convoy was going to go through.

THe convoy wound up being about 4 convoy trucks, 6 security cars and as we later found out 2 light attack choppers. Both of us snipers were using AV rounds, picking off the security car drivers etc, we'd had a AV mine setup in the road to take out the first oncomming vehicle, an R12 area jammer the works.

I'd holed myself up in a natural cavern opening on the cliff face, complete with a killer 36 roll on concealment. This made me abit too cocky for my own good. SO fight starts out eventually I get spotted. Worse yet, they damn well know I was sniping and took drastic measures to kill me. These mesures included the following:

3 LAW rockets, two fortunately missed, the third alas did not.
4+ bursts of assault rifle fire that were on target
5 Deadly level elemental spells
1 Serious level manaball
1 Force 8 Fire elemental that engulfed me for something like 6 rounds

Suffice it to say my team mates thought I was dead. -I- thought I was dead. But some how, miraculously I survive it all, half way through my ordeal of punishment the shaman banishes the spirit I take yet more fire and now I'm 3 points into overflow, fail to stabalize but I manage barely to remain concious. So first thing I do is Trauma patch. WHich is a 'bad thing' under SR3 for an adept to do, but it was better than guaranteed death.

So I'm pretty much lying there on the brink of death, the team manages to wrap up the mission, and are heading for the truck to unhook the trailer from the origional cab (of which I'd put a pair of AV rounds through the engien, and one into the driver) and hook up our black market loaned truck cab to. This is when teh pair of attack choppers show up. Oddly no one questsions why suddenly both of them are shot down with a high powered sniper rifle.

The game, not done abusing me yet, and due to the very serious penalties involved, I fail my checks to climb down safely, and fall several meters to the ground. Yet manage to take no damage (Of cousre some of this was due to going through a rather decently sized karma pool)

At this point the only thing I can think of doing is staggering over to the group, bloody, half dead, still smouldering from being engulfed by the fire elemental, my rebreather litterally fused to my face as it and a fiair bit of my other gear melted at least partially. And then saying:

"This job sucks. I want to go home now..."
A brief pause and then adding
"I could use a little help." before collapsing.

All this punishment with only 5 body and 8/6 armor. The team also just barely managed to keep me alive long enough on the trip back to rush me to a doc, and due to a screw up in miscommuniaction and the strangely mistaken belief that I was a streetsam who used alot of bioware (as opposed to.. you know, being the adept I was) I wake up with a cyberam after having made a ton of saves vs magic loss as a level 1 initate. (1 for being over deadly, two for surgery, one for cyber implantation, one for the use of a trauma patch)

Todate, that was still the nastiest run I've ever been a part of. The cyberarm was put on becuase due to the deadly wound I had to roll under permanent injury. Which cam up as a loss of the right arm, I also came up with permanent, very noticeable hideous scarring.
wargear
Digging up the past...it's been a few years so you'll have to forgive any slight inaccuracies...

Street Sam gestures expansively across a long bench loaded down with about seventy guns, ranging from a handful of narcoject pistols through to a pair of Panthers on gyromounts. "Excessive? Hell no. This is just what we take on a run down to the local Stuffer Shack."

It was actually all the team's firearms being cleaned and checked in readiness for our next assault in a merc job we were doing at the time, and he was talking to the Camera Orc, who was recording everything for later release by one of the Networks.
On a side note. Getting your team filmed during a heavy duty run and it being released throughout the UCAS as a Saturday Night Feature Film can do amazing things for your Rep...if you're tough enough to survive the repercussions... biggrin.gif
Trax
QUOTE (Kesslan)
Well this one isnt funny, but I think underlines the fact that some times we have a habbit of badly understating the obvious. The story isnt 100 percent accurate anymore since I forgot to logg it and it's been almost two years now since this happeend.

The quote: (it makes no sense really untill you read the story below)
"This job sucks. I want to go home now..."
A brief pause and then adding
"I could use a little help." before collapsing.

The Basic Setup:
It was an online game, high risk, high pay run. There were I think, all told about 7 of us or so.
2 Snipers (Myself, a human adept, the other a cybered dwarf)
2 Spell tossers (1 I think elven shaman and the other was a human mage I belive.)
1 Human Sam
1 Human Adept with a weapon focus and specializing in fighting spirits.

The Story! Yays!
Target was a convoy of biomedicals from I think CAT. Anyway, our actual target was only oneo f the trucks, which happened to be in the middle of the formation. THe hit was on a NAN highway that was cut through rock, and happened to have some sorta rare and protected awakened bird things nesting there. The team went in posing as tourists wanting to see the birds or something, we did some recon on foot etc, found a good ambush point and setup the following day when the convoy was going to go through.

THe convoy wound up being about 4 convoy trucks, 6 security cars and as we later found out 2 light attack choppers. Both of us snipers were using AV rounds, picking off the security car drivers etc, we'd had a AV mine setup in the road to take out the first oncomming vehicle, an R12 area jammer the works.

I'd holed myself up in a natural cavern opening on the cliff face, complete with a killer 36 roll on concealment. This made me abit too cocky for my own good. SO fight starts out eventually I get spotted. Worse yet, they damn well know I was sniping and took drastic measures to kill me. These mesures included the following:

3 LAW rockets, two fortunately missed, the third alas did not.
4+ bursts of assault rifle fire that were on target
5 Deadly level elemental spells
1 Serious level manaball
1 Force 8 Fire elemental that engulfed me for something like 6 rounds

Suffice it to say my team mates thought I was dead. -I- thought I was dead. But some how, miraculously I survive it all, half way through my ordeal of punishment the shaman banishes the spirit I take yet more fire and now I'm 3 points into overflow, fail to stabalize but I manage barely to remain concious. So first thing I do is Trauma patch. WHich is a 'bad thing' under SR3 for an adept to do, but it was better than guaranteed death.

So I'm pretty much lying there on the brink of death, the team manages to wrap up the mission, and are heading for the truck to unhook the trailer from the origional cab (of which I'd put a pair of AV rounds through the engien, and one into the driver) and hook up our black market loaned truck cab to. This is when teh pair of attack choppers show up. Oddly no one questsions why suddenly both of them are shot down with a high powered sniper rifle.

The game, not done abusing me yet, and due to the very serious penalties involved, I fail my checks to climb down safely, and fall several meters to the ground. Yet manage to take no damage (Of cousre some of this was due to going through a rather decently sized karma pool)

At this point the only thing I can think of doing is staggering over to the group, bloody, half dead, still smouldering from being engulfed by the fire elemental, my rebreather litterally fused to my face as it and a fiair bit of my other gear melted at least partially. And then saying:

"This job sucks. I want to go home now..."
A brief pause and then adding
"I could use a little help." before collapsing.

All this punishment with only 5 body and 8/6 armor. The team also just barely managed to keep me alive long enough on the trip back to rush me to a doc, and due to a screw up in miscommuniaction and the strangely mistaken belief that I was a streetsam who used alot of bioware (as opposed to.. you know, being the adept I was) I wake up with a cyberam after having made a ton of saves vs magic loss as a level 1 initate. (1 for being over deadly, two for surgery, one for cyber implantation, one for the use of a trauma patch)

Todate, that was still the nastiest run I've ever been a part of. The cyberarm was put on becuase due to the deadly wound I had to roll under permanent injury. Which cam up as a loss of the right arm, I also came up with permanent, very noticeable hideous scarring.

Did your character change his name to Vader? biggrin.gif With the rebreather fused to your face it could've given you the same sound Darth Vader made when he breaths. Get a bunch of points into Intimidate...and profit.
TheUrbanMonkey
"So, after I open the gates, what's the plan"
"We go up, pretend to be Mormons, and we shoot the mom in the face, grab the girl, and leave"
"The mom?"
"Mom, dad, boyfriend, whoever."
"Do you have any silenced weapons?"
"You're kidding, right?"
Kesslan
QUOTE (Trax)
Did your character change his name to Vader? biggrin.gif With the rebreather fused to your face it could've given you the same sound Darth Vader made when he breaths. Get a bunch of points into Intimidate...and profit.

No. But suffice it to say he was rather easy to recognize from then on. Massive permanent burn scars across pretty much most of his neck and the outline of the slighlty melted rebreather burned in on his face.

He -did- wind up with a bonus to intimidation and a penalty to other social interaction related things however.

Most people also couldnt understand why he also quickly became a drunk over the cyberarm. It was only then that his non awakend friends were like.. "Wait.. your an adept?"

I dunno, I guess most players arent used to seeing an adept who spends most of his time sniping in SR3 as opposed to swinging around al sorts of various melee weapons in massive badassness.
Trax
I certainly never really heard of an Adept sniper until recently. Usually they are either all the sneaky Covert Op type, martial artists with killer hands, or Gun adepts. Ok..so the Gun adept can also be a sniper, but usually it's Pistols or SMG's.
Kesslan
Yeah, well I guess thats why they figgured I was a sammie. I mean SR3 it was useless for me to use a smartlink since the goggles didnt add anything worthwhile. And certainly the few other snipers encountered NPC or PC were all cybered.

But centering on the other hand... biggrin.gif (once I took it a second time so I could open it up for ranged combat, though that was much later.)
Kagetenshi
You should've taken a smartlink. Even if it took a full point of Essence, it's worth it—the fact that it doesn't means you get .5 Essence to play around with with no further loss of capability.

~J
Kesslan
Well I did toy with the idea, but at the time it wasnt worth it. I wound up loosing a full point of essence from that forced uppon me cyberarm though, and last I'd played the char I'd been working towards upgrading the cyberarm to a high enough grade that I coudl squeek in a smartlink.

Cause that would just be nasty, and horribly twinkish, Smartlink 2 + range finder +vision mods +Adept Ranged Combat Centering + Aiming

In the end the only thing that really stoped me was a lack of money, as I could have easily pulled it off using betaware.

As to the OP on quotes however, alas as much as I've been wracking my brain. I cant seem to bring to mind anything actually funny frown.gif
SL James
QUOTE (Kesslan)
But centering on the other hand... biggrin.gif (once I took it a second time so I could open it up for ranged combat, though that was much later.)

heh

Take it a third time and get Centering (Small Unit Tactics). You will not regret it.
Kesslan
I've never regretted taking Centering (X) for adepts in SR3, it's just so damn useful and in most cases you can totally remove or almost at least totally remove the penalties. Centering for sniping though I find works very well since usually I had plenty of time to do what ever it was I needed to do to 'center' myself.

I still never got around to aquiring a panther assault cannon and getting it kitted out to snipe with, gotta love that crazy range and ultra high damage. To me at least under SR3 -that- and not the Barret is the true anti material rifle. Still rather noisy and very heavy though.

Man I miss playing that character. Ah well.
Trigger
Raven- "So why do they want to kill us?"
Trigger- "Because I killed their dog."
Raven- "Why did you kill ther dog?"
Triiger- "Because he wouldn't stop barking and he was blowing my cover."
Raven- "Cover for what?"
Trigger- "Stealing their mage's focus."
Raven- "Do you have said focus?"
Trigger- "Yep, right here in my pocket."
Raven- "So, it was there dog and not the focus that makes them hunt us?"
Trigger- "Asians really love their dogs, ya know."
Kesslan
Ohh that kickstarts some memories.

We were hitting this one facility that was fenced in, had some guard dogs that started barking. So one fo the guys on the team rips em up but good with an HK-227S

Runner1: What was that for?! Your going to blow our cover!
Runner2: I hate dogs.

There was some comment about the runner having previously been used as a 'chewtoy' though I cant remember the exact words.
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