Full Version: Lines you never want to hear while playing SR
| QUOTE (moosegod) |
| Now, on the flip side. GM brings in Aguilar Attack helicopter. Player has two fighter drones. GM is like "no big deal, Aguilar should be fine" Player fires 2 military grade AAM's. Aguilar goes down in flames. GM cries. |
We had one like this. The whole campaign, the street sam has wanted to use his missile launcher. Really, really wanted to use it. But cooler heads have prevailed, and no missiles have been launched. But we're prowling around in a pretty dangerous place one day, so he's got it with him. Well, this attack helicopter drops out of the clouds, and blows the ever living hell out of our sniper. She lives, but that pretty well sucked. And it's turning, trying to pinpoint the rest of us, most of whom are a good bit more fragile than the sniper. The street sam player turns to the rest of us, and gets the unanimous answer he's been looking for all along, "Yes, now it's time for the missile launcher."
Missile goes up, many dice are rolled, many dice come up success. So many dice, in fact, that with anti-missile systems, and trying to dodge, and everything else the chopper pilot can do, it's all for naught. Then we discovered what wonderful things happen when an anti-vehicle missile hits a helicopter. It was a pretty sturdy helicopter, as such things go. Body around 5, armor about the same. Could stand up to light arms fire without any problem. But 16D anti-vehicular was just a bit more than it could handle.
Of course, ever since, the street sam has been even more eager to use the missile launcher than he was before. Now he's gotten a taste of it.
"I take direct control of my cropdusting drone loaded with cyanide gas."
"I bet the dragon knows lots of cool stuff. I mind probe him."
"I bet the dragon knows lots of cool stuff. I mind probe him."
PC: I ask Lofwyr, "Got a light?"
GM: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................................................................
GM: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................................................................
"Is it too late to stick the pin back in?"
"Dudes... I got this."
| QUOTE (simonw2000) |
| PC: I ask Lofwyr, "Got a light?" GM: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................................................................. |
Could be worse.
(Upon having all of the character's contacts dry up..except for one...)
PC: Hey Lofwyr...I was wondering if you had any work for me.
(Never willingly ask to do a dragon's dirty-work)
GM: "Roll body against a TN of 8, get 8 successes or die."
Player: Rolls dice. "Honey, how many did you say? 7?"
GM: "Why, is that how many you need so we have sex tonight?"
Player: "Well, 8 gets you blue-balled."
Okay, this ain't too funny but I tried.
Player: Rolls dice. "Honey, how many did you say? 7?"
GM: "Why, is that how many you need so we have sex tonight?"
Player: "Well, 8 gets you blue-balled."
Okay, this ain't too funny but I tried.
GM to me after my character gets shot, "you should go find a book, we'll roll to see how bad it is later" somehow I survived a pistol round to the forehead.
"That many dice and the Mage got a better stealth roll??" (adept with improved stealth open test result 5)
GM: you don't see anyhting the building is dark
dwarf sniper: I have thermo
GM you see a large figre, about the same size as the other groups leader he's moving strangly
DS: I shoot him
GM; you hear a female scream, and a body drops from in front of him
DS: was that the hostage?
GM Evil grin
GM roll one die.. oh its a one is it...." Evil grin
after a long lonestar interogation, the PC is let go, he looks back and says "can I have my guns back, ya know it aint easy to get ahold of an IWS....."
"oh so that was yours too?" Evil grin
"so you trust this guy?"
"Totaly"
GM Roll preseption
"oh shit" (there's aways a reason to look around right?)
"can i roll my seduction skill? is it an open or opposed?"
GM "Na, just roll willpower, you ain't got a chance"
"she's that hot huh?"
"yep, oh roll body"
"WTF???"
"you see her smile as the gamma takes hold"
"Not again!"
"That many dice and the Mage got a better stealth roll??" (adept with improved stealth open test result 5)
GM: you don't see anyhting the building is dark
dwarf sniper: I have thermo
GM you see a large figre, about the same size as the other groups leader he's moving strangly
DS: I shoot him
GM; you hear a female scream, and a body drops from in front of him
DS: was that the hostage?
GM Evil grin
GM roll one die.. oh its a one is it...." Evil grin
after a long lonestar interogation, the PC is let go, he looks back and says "can I have my guns back, ya know it aint easy to get ahold of an IWS....."
"oh so that was yours too?" Evil grin
"so you trust this guy?"
"Totaly"
GM Roll preseption
"oh shit" (there's aways a reason to look around right?)
"can i roll my seduction skill? is it an open or opposed?"
GM "Na, just roll willpower, you ain't got a chance"
"she's that hot huh?"
"yep, oh roll body"
"WTF???"
"you see her smile as the gamma takes hold"
"Not again!"
GM: So you're just cruising in your car, then, right? Do me a favor, figure out the signature for your vehicle.
-----------------
GM looks up stats for a critter in the Critters handbook, and pleasant surprise flashes in his/her eyes and says, "Oh shi..."
-----------------
Far too often, when faced with overwhelming odds, the Sammy, who is known for his incredibly bad rolls at the most crucial times, tends to say this just before the baddies get to go, "It's okay. I'm impervious to attack."
-----------------
GM looks up stats for a critter in the Critters handbook, and pleasant surprise flashes in his/her eyes and says, "Oh shi..."
-----------------
Far too often, when faced with overwhelming odds, the Sammy, who is known for his incredibly bad rolls at the most crucial times, tends to say this just before the baddies get to go, "It's okay. I'm impervious to attack."
| QUOTE (Panzergeist) |
| "I bet the dragon knows lots of cool stuff. I mind probe him." |
Whafuck? I'm practically speechless at this display of complete stupidity. Tell me the GM did the appropriate thing.
GM: Arleesh destroys the statue (Bottled Demon)
Addicted PC: I panick and punch her.
Addicted PC: I panick and punch her.
In most cases, I don't think these are examples from actual games, FlakJacket 
| QUOTE (Krazy) |
| GM to me after my character gets shot, "you should go find a book, we'll roll to see how bad it is later" somehow I survived a pistol round to the forehead. |
Must not have hit anything vital.
He wouldn't be saying that if the round was EXEX.
EXEX, when you want that ripe melon explosion.
EXEX, when you want that ripe melon explosion.
no, it was a reg round, and my character had two boxes of over damage left, the mage cast stabalize on me as i hit the ground (fell off the troll's sholders that I was standing on to look in a window) and they hauled me into a corner while a twenty muinute firefight (game time) ensued, he said that because he knew that I was supposed to be doing homework, and figured that most of us would be doing new characters by the end on the run. luckly docwagon snatched me and I only lost my leg.... I guess I broke something in the fall? and according to my teamates, I was not left unscathed (he got a bit unhinged under fire after that, to the point of poping anyone who looked at him after being shot at.)
Does anyone else hear that whooshing sound?
hahahahah
How about...
"GM: Tonight I want to try using the stress and wound rules...."
or
"GM: Is anyone astrally percieving right now?
Players: Nope.
GM: Nevermind."
"GM: Tonight I want to try using the stress and wound rules...."
or
"GM: Is anyone astrally percieving right now?
Players: Nope.
GM: Nevermind."
GM: You see a small ornate wooden box in the middle of an empty room. It looks like a puzzled box.
PLAYER: I pick it up and examine it
GM: You see that you can twist a circle imprinted on it.
PLAYER: okay, I do that.
GM: The box jumps out of your hands and onto the floor, it opens wierdly and then closes. You feel a sudden gust of wind.
PLAYER: I pick the box back up, and examine it again to see if there is anything left to do(OCC: Wait thats the damn hellraiser box isn't it?)
GM: with very large smile says, "What's hellraiser?"
needless to say that one ended badly for the runners, but it was funny as hell.
PLAYER: I pick it up and examine it
GM: You see that you can twist a circle imprinted on it.
PLAYER: okay, I do that.
GM: The box jumps out of your hands and onto the floor, it opens wierdly and then closes. You feel a sudden gust of wind.
PLAYER: I pick the box back up, and examine it again to see if there is anything left to do(OCC: Wait thats the damn hellraiser box isn't it?)
GM: with very large smile says, "What's hellraiser?"
needless to say that one ended badly for the runners, but it was funny as hell.
GM: Welcome everyone. I did have a nice romp through a Ares medium secuirity facility planned, but then my sister just had to tell me something...
Player 1: We're doomed!
Player 2: (turning to player 1) Don't tell me you slept with his sister!
Player 1: We're doomed!
Player 2: (turning to player 1) Don't tell me you slept with his sister!
What do you mean by "chunky salsa"?
Does it taste good?
Does it taste good?
The situation is this. A one player game, the evil bad guy has been out-smarting the PC for six games now. He has been ahead of him at every turn, he has killed associates, contacts, friends, whoever he needs to. The PC was originally hired to find a hostage and recover it and it's only on this, the sixth game, that he has even come to the point of seeing where the hostage was.
Finally, there's a car chase. It cost the PC several arms and innumerable legs but he has a chopper ready and has the chopper come in. He scores a rediculously lucky shot with a SMG and takes the bad guy's car out without blowing it up, and as he's landing the chopper by the side of a busy Miami highway he sees the bad guy drag the hostage out of the car and start running off. PC rolls very well on Athletics and catches him before he gets too far. Bad guy holds a gun to hostage's head as PC approaches.
PC: "There's nowhere to run. Let her go and I just hand you over to my employer, and not kill you"
GM: He pulls a second gun! Roll initiative. [Looks at results], he wins. It's a Walther
PC: Ha! Light pistol. He can't do anything with that.
GM: Eleven successes. EX ammo, shot to the head.
PC: Sh*t. I roll body (rolls), karma (rolls), karma again (rolls) and again (rolls), I buy two successes, right, thank god, only a serious. Now he's f*cked.
GM: Second shot (rolls)
Finally, there's a car chase. It cost the PC several arms and innumerable legs but he has a chopper ready and has the chopper come in. He scores a rediculously lucky shot with a SMG and takes the bad guy's car out without blowing it up, and as he's landing the chopper by the side of a busy Miami highway he sees the bad guy drag the hostage out of the car and start running off. PC rolls very well on Athletics and catches him before he gets too far. Bad guy holds a gun to hostage's head as PC approaches.
PC: "There's nowhere to run. Let her go and I just hand you over to my employer, and not kill you"
GM: He pulls a second gun! Roll initiative. [Looks at results], he wins. It's a Walther
PC: Ha! Light pistol. He can't do anything with that.
GM: Eleven successes. EX ammo, shot to the head.
PC: Sh*t. I roll body (rolls), karma (rolls), karma again (rolls) and again (rolls), I buy two successes, right, thank god, only a serious. Now he's f*cked.
GM: Second shot (rolls)
| QUOTE (thunderchild) |
| Troll 1 - 400kg Troll 2 - 400kg (counting engine) Ork - 170kg Human - 180Kg Elf - 90Kg Dwarf - 120Kg (loadsa gear) so thats 1360Kg and the dumbass playing the elf says "I wonder if the lift can hold us" now an evil grin crossed our GM's face, a positively drek eating grin. we all stared daggers at him. I looked at the gm and shook my head, he decided to err on the side of caution, and the fact that he knew that that it wouldnt have been unfair if HE had thought of it, but since it was a players stupidity, he said the elevators flrro was bowing and the cables were making some funny groaning noises. |
Cheesey GM trickery last elevator I was in was a tiny little thing with a max capacity of over 1400 kg and that was 5 feet wide 6 feet deep. Big ones will have high max cap.
I've been in cargo elevators that could move vans full of goods, no 1360 KG is nothing for most freight lifts.
More to the point, any elevator made after about 1960 (probably earlier) that was overloaded (according to the published tolerances, note, not the actual max capacity) would sound a local alarm (as in a buzzer inside the elevator itself) and refuse to move until the load was decreased.
~J
~J
| QUOTE (Kagetenshi) |
| More to the point, any elevator made after about 1960 (probably earlier) that was overloaded (according to the published tolerances, note, not the actual max capacity) would sound a local alarm (as in a buzzer inside the elevator itself) and refuse to move until the load was decreased. ~J |
Yea, but that alarm/sensor costs extra money that a megacorp might not be willing to pay in order to increase profits for a quarter. After all, the only people using the elevator should be trained and know better anyway.
Are the people who use the elevator going to weigh every box they are told to carry? If not, then they can't know the exact stress they are putting the elevator under and need some indicator. Besides, the cost of losing one load of cargo and replacing the broken elevator is much higher than putting in a drekking alarm the first time.
Much better to have the alarm, but charge any employee who sets it off a fine and a re-educational tasering.
Much better to have the alarm, but charge any employee who sets it off a fine and a re-educational tasering.
| QUOTE (Enigma) |
| It cost the PC several arms and innumerable legs but he has a chopper ready and has the chopper come in. ...PC rolls very well on Athletics and catches him before he gets too far. |
What kind of PC do you have? Captain centipede? You lose innumerable legs, but can still run?
I assumed that they were other people's legs.
~J
~J
| QUOTE (Reaver @ May 4 2005, 12:05 PM) |
| Yea, but that alarm/sensor costs extra money that a megacorp might not be willing to pay in order to increase profits for a quarter. After all, the only people using the elevator should be trained and know better anyway. |
If a corp's quarterly profits depend on the few hundred nuyen it would take to alarm the elevator, the corp is in serious trouble.
| QUOTE (Kagetenshi) |
| I assumed that they were other people's legs. ~J |
You think he runs a chop shop then? I'm still not sure how it cost the PC arms and legs.
Oh, I know! He's been scavenging parts off his enemies, and selling them for gear! His new gun alone cost two legs and a left eyeball, right? That makes sense
| QUOTE |
| Does anyone else hear that whooshing sound? - Crimsondude 2.0 |
| QUOTE (Smiley) | ||
If a corp's quarterly profits depend on the few hundred nuyen it would take to alarm the elevator, the corp is in serious trouble. |
Depends on what else they add in to it now doesn't it? You have to remember that were talking about a completely different type of corporate mentality in SR than exists today. They would probably have all kinds of "How can we cut corners" ideas going around to save even a few cents, because when everything is talled at the end of the day... it all adds up.
Yes including insurance cost the few hundred nuyen in each alarm versus several thousand nuyen per alarm over many many years. Corporations are not as short sighted as you make them out.
| QUOTE (Talia Invierno) |
| In most cases, I don't think these are examples from actual games, FlakJacket |
After hearing about some of the real life game actions rounds here and from groups I've been forced to play with from time to time you can never be sure.
PC: "Eh, nah. I'll leave that home."
GM: "...trust me, you're going to want that..."
GM: "Please try not to make the shaman snap..." (NPC..he was a fair bit more powerful and had much more if not the only experience with the enemies we had to deal with. valuable shaman man it was indeed)
GM: "..your family has become the object of interest to a Horror."
GM: "...trust me, you're going to want that..."
GM: "Please try not to make the shaman snap..." (NPC..he was a fair bit more powerful and had much more if not the only experience with the enemies we had to deal with. valuable shaman man it was indeed)
GM: "..your family has become the object of interest to a Horror."
That last one is from an active RL game ... mine. Or, more accurately, wrt my PC. Only it hasn't been said out loud yet.
| QUOTE (Talia Invierno) |
| That last one is from an active RL game ... mine. Or, more accurately, wrt my PC. Only it hasn't been said out loud yet. |
The Horror line or another one?
"As you pry open the hatch, you hear a hissing sound."
-got to do that one last run.
And from the Shutdown -
"You suddenly feel a sharp pain...like you were just stung."
-got to do that one last run.
And from the Shutdown -
"You suddenly feel a sharp pain...like you were just stung."
You're running Food Fight and the Horned Man shaman forgets about snacks and goes straight to the chic in the tube top and cut offs.
"Boy, I hope I go to jail."
-Never a good sign
"Hey, this looks like water."
--Really a bad sign
"How cute!"
---Violent death warning
"Let's split up and cover the building."
----Yeah
-Never a good sign
"Hey, this looks like water."
--Really a bad sign
"How cute!"
---Violent death warning
"Let's split up and cover the building."
----Yeah
| QUOTE |
| The Horror line or another one? - Ceres |
The Horror line.
GM: to player UMM hey if you doc wagons payed up ......? ok role init and take a smoke break i'll be here doing some quick math
"Do you think 400 kilos of C12 will get it done?"
said in a Bug Hive
"Don't worry I put a silencer on it." Player one said after blowing open the door.
"Too bad the Assault cannon shells explode." Player two
"Oh...Sorry" Player one
said outside Ehran's summer house
"I turn on the Stealth suit." Player one
"Me too" Players three through seven
"Frag I hate missing out on runs." Player two after realizing that last weeks game that he missed was the source of all the stealth suits.
said just inside Ehran's summer home
"Alright the elf hits you for 10D plus 4 success" GM
"Okay, Military grade armor Impact 10. " player two
"Frag!" GM
said a little further inside Ehran's summer home.
"Alright I have had enough. I'm laying down 3 rounds from the enfield down the hallway. 1 meter apart cyberchoke to 10." player two
"Frag!" everyone else
said after facing a troll with a vindicator in Ehran's summer home
"Okay mission accomplished, two coming out." player two
"What happened to everyone else?" player eight
"I killed them for asking too many fragging questions." player two
"Gotcha, good riddance." player eight
"Yeah almost a TPK and I didn't have to do a thing." GM
said after delivering item in Ehran's house and finishing off Player One with his own assault cannon
said in a Bug Hive
"Don't worry I put a silencer on it." Player one said after blowing open the door.
"Too bad the Assault cannon shells explode." Player two
"Oh...Sorry" Player one
said outside Ehran's summer house
"I turn on the Stealth suit." Player one
"Me too" Players three through seven
"Frag I hate missing out on runs." Player two after realizing that last weeks game that he missed was the source of all the stealth suits.
said just inside Ehran's summer home
"Alright the elf hits you for 10D plus 4 success" GM
"Okay, Military grade armor Impact 10. " player two
"Frag!" GM
said a little further inside Ehran's summer home.
"Alright I have had enough. I'm laying down 3 rounds from the enfield down the hallway. 1 meter apart cyberchoke to 10." player two
"Frag!" everyone else
said after facing a troll with a vindicator in Ehran's summer home
"Okay mission accomplished, two coming out." player two
"What happened to everyone else?" player eight
"I killed them for asking too many fragging questions." player two
"Gotcha, good riddance." player eight
"Yeah almost a TPK and I didn't have to do a thing." GM
said after delivering item in Ehran's house and finishing off Player One with his own assault cannon
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