Scene: runners are stealing the Scrolls of Ak'le'ar from the lab in the DIMR building

GM(Me): The alarm has gone off, what are you going to do?

Player: While the others run I set a charge to eliminate any evidence.

GM: You are doing what, exactly?

Player: I have 4 kilos of C12 with me - I set the timer to 20 seconds, that should be enough time for us to get out...

GM: sure, go for it. Let me give you a TN. *gets out adding machine*

GM "How do you calculate light naval damage again?"

Rigger "what do you mean "economy"?

Sammy *BLAM, BLAM, BLAM* TAKE THAT COPPER!!! *BLAM, BLAM, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK...* craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

Shaman "My totem says I need to have some chocolate cake RIGHT NOW!



My favorite one that ever happened in my game was this.

gunfight in an office building and the entire team piled into an elevator to escape the Steel Lynx that was chasing them through the corrodors. Two trolls (one a cyber monster, the other holding a prototype engine), an ork, a heavily cybered human, an elf and a dwarf.

so it breaks down like this

Troll 1 - 400kg
Troll 2 - 400kg (counting engine)
Ork - 170kg
Human - 180Kg
Elf - 90Kg
Dwarf - 120Kg (loadsa gear)

so thats 1360Kg

and the dumbass playing the elf says "I wonder if the lift can hold us" now an evil grin crossed our GM's face, a positively drek eating grin. we all stared daggers at him. I looked at the gm and shook my head, he decided to err on the side of caution, and the fact that he knew that that it wouldnt have been unfair if HE had thought of it, but since it was a players stupidity, he said the elevators flrro was bowing and the cables were making some funny groaning noises.

here are a few good ones:

"oops, I forgot to use my silent spell..."

"Hey, isn't that a sketch of you on the T.V.?"

Street Sam. #1 "Why did you just hang up on the Johnson? you do realize he was really pissed off, and is really powerful?"
Street Sam. #2 "Uh... so what? He won't do anyhting to us..."

GM: "Wait how many dice are you rolling?"

PC: "I pull out my cell phone."
GM: "Did you buy a cell phone?"
PC: "I thought we just got them>"
GM: "No, you have to buy them"
PC: "Its the future, everyone should have cell phones!"

and here are some situations that have ended in dead PCs:

1.
PC: "Uh... I use power bolt."
GM: you realize if you do that you'll be knocked out, and there already a ton of guys on thier way, all with guns."
PC: "So..."

2.
PC: "I shoot the orks before they walk inside the building."
GM: "Okay... wait do you have silancers on your pistols?"
PC: "No, does that matter?"

3.
PC: "I charge him head on, how long will it take me to get to him?"
GM: "It'll take a round"
PC: "Okay, I'll run at him, I have enough in my Body stat to handle it"
GM: "Do you have any idea what a machine gun that size will do to you?"
PC: "I'll survive it."
GM: "Are you going to roll any of your combat pool to dodge it?"
PC: "No, I'll use it when I really need it..."

4.
GM: "You wake up in a plain white room, your covered in blood, its coming from your mouth and head, theres a couple of corp guys, two of them obviously cybered, the normal one asks you why you were trying to break in, and about those gaurds you killed."
PC: "I laugh, and then spit blood in his face, then I moan really loud, and slur insults at him."
GM: "Wait here, I have to go print out another charicter sheet."

"Future Juushichi: Don't make me turn this into a game of Canadian Pirates.

Future Juushichi: Fine. You play your normal characters and deal with THE COMPLETE AND UTTER INSANITY YOU HAVE BROUGHT UPON YOURSELVES!"


I don't think I need to say more.

Now, on the flip side.

GM brings in Aguilar Attack helicopter.

Player has two fighter drones.

GM is like "no big deal, Aguilar should be fine"

Player fires 2 military grade AAM's.

Aguilar goes down in flames.

GM cries.

We now use overdamage rules for melee combat, just the same as firearms. A rule we just instituted last week...

GM: He beats you by 10 successes.
Me: Okay, how much damage does that do?
GM: 22 deadly plus 10.

GM: Alright you have taken 7 box's of lethal. 5 of stun.

PC: And how many guards are left?

GM: You got 2, wounded 2, so there is one left operational. The wounded ones ran away.

PC: OH!
GM: The alarm go's off and you hear footsteps. lots of em.

PC: Um, how long will it take to perform sepeku with a survival knife and a body of 9?
------------------------------

pc:I leap from this roof to the next one.
GM: the next building is only three stories high!!!!
pc:SO!
gm: but the one your standing on is...
pc: yeah yeah, i got an 8, 9, and a two 4's do I make it?

GM: Yeah, you plummet 30 stories plowing through the roof of the appartment complex. As you land in the basement wash room, the cloths dryer dings.
-------------------------------------------------

gm:I was thinking about running palladium tonight instead of SR

-----

Two GM's (a main and an assistant) were running me and my friends first run. We enter a corp building the hard way, blasting our way through the guards (it was the riggers idea ) at the front desk. As we proceeded to the elevator, a rotating gun turret popped out from the ceiling, and began revving up to fire. Rolling the highest initiative, (armed with nothing but a sword and a crossbow) I got the first action before bullets started spraying.

Me: Hmm...I make a running jump and grab onto the gun to keep it from firing.
(Stunned silence)
Assistant GM(to GM): Um, can he do that?

I actually made the jump, and kept the gun from firing long enough for my chummers to disable it.

"Hey guys, I just finished watching this great movie! Gave me some real good ideas, so I think this'll be a fun session."

Now, the real horror of this phrase depends on whether he just finished watching:

A) Robocop
B) Se7en
C) Hellraiser
D) Urutsukidojii: Legend of the Overfiend

E) Ernest Goes To Jail

GM: When you do a search on your team mates identities you see 3 avitars of people wearing armor telling you to stop and see identification.
PC: I take out my black hammer utility and wave it at them to scare them off...

It went downhill from there....

Gm: You failed your will roll, The Spirit commands you to put your Pistol to your head.
PC: Ok
Gm: the Spirit commands you to Pull the trigger...
PC: *click*
Gm: now your pistol does.... wait... click?
Pc: yep, ran outa ammo on the pistol three rooms ago, so it goes click.
Gm: #&$% !@&

- when counting ammo is a GOOD thing....

-Mike R.

Situation: Two human PCs, Phil (me) and Kiera, in an ork bar, being not-so-politely asked to leave by a large, angry troll.

Troll: "What're you fragging humans doing in here?"
Kiera's player (to GM): "I hand the troll the business card we took off the Humanis guy we killed."
Kiera's player (calmly, to me): "Run."

Situation. Player Troll is in a blimp which is being attacked by enemy fighters and see's one approaching.

GM: You can see and F-16 making an attack run on the blimp.

PC: Remember that assault cannon I said I brought? I shoot it!

Player 1: You know that electrical fire / sewer explosion you wanted me to set up? I hope you wanted that only for distraction purposes ...
Player 2: Why?
Player 1: Well, it was a really good explosion and all, and the electrical fire is shooting flames 30' into the air ... but the building lights are still on.


(Reference to a real life occurrence this week - one which ended up evacuating my building - which I had to interpret into SR terms Incredibly, not one person was injured, and the power never so much as blinked.)

I cast manaball on the ghouls attacking us in melee. Area effect combat spells can be selectively targeted right?


I screw on my silencer and load my EX ammo.


Dove Shaman: I refuse to attack those guards! We should try to get past them, and resort to non-lethal violence only if they oppose us.

Sammy: I load my gun with gel rounds.

Dove Shaman: ONLY if they see us and try to stop us.

Sammy: I put a burst into this peacenik's chest.


Rigger: I pull my hovercraft onto the road and merge onto the highway.

GM: Uh, you sure?

Rigger: yeah why?

GM: The hovercraft is 6 meters wide.

Rigger: Don't worry, it's a 4-line highway.

Worst i saw

HIM:i just jump from the jet trying a HALO jump
Me:Okayyy TN 8 (HALO on urban setting)
HIM: 8 ! damn , i just got 3 dices on skydivin'
Me: You shoudn't try this jump ,your char never done that...and this could be quite messy you know...
HIM: don't care , i'll try whatever... ( //dice rollin) ... no sucess
Me: (i'm kinda sympathetic with my players i know) their's a second chance parachute you know... try again
Him: //dices rollin' no success
Me: you turn into pizza...

i don't ever want to hear about HALO jumps since that

EDIT: the guy stopped to play SR after that...

is it just me or are the jumping rules a little too
"you have to be the god of jumping to succeed"?
i mean, any person with 4 in the skill should manage everything but the most foolish things (HALO in a tornado, trying to land on a 2 meter wide platform) easily..... or?

PC 1 announces intentions
GM smiles
PC 1 : Shit...
PC 2 : How about a rigger? You never played a rigger, have you?

The jumping rules are tough, indeed.

Unless one of my runners goes for a HALO jump over urban territory during heavy storm weather defaulting to Body I let them off with a 14S Physical (broken legs etc.). Botched tests are never instant kills in my games.
If they rule-of-one a jump, they might crash straight through the roof of the nearest Lone Star building, however...

A gimme...

PC: "What does this button do?"

We were following a troll ganger we wanted to question. Aidley had a NEW SPELL™ she wanted to try out.

me: I cast a force 1 shape earth against the troll ganger.
gm: er..... you remember that trolls have dermal armour, right?
me: I cast a force 5 shape earth against the troll ganger. SUCCESS!
gm: that troll is now toothpaste. He is sprayed 5 metres up the surrounding buildings.
me: whoa. so i guess we won't be questioning him any time soon then?

GM: The helicopter is heavily armoured and carrying anti-tank missiles on it's wing pylons. It flies swiftly across your field of view.

Player: I take 2 aim actions with my disposable RPG launcher.

GM: You realize that the chopper is hundres of meters away, moving across your field of view at over a hundred k/h?

Player: Yes, I take one more aim action and then fire a called shot at the exposed missiles. I have cybereyes with elecvtronic magnification rating 3.

GM: You realize you would have to calculate the trajectories perfectly in order to-

Player: Calculate? Trajectories? Wow, that sounds exactly like the kind of thing an encephalon and math spu would come in handy for.

GM: ****!



GM: You all wake up tied to chairs in a small, well-lit room. The walls are bare except for a reinforced steel door that looks like it is locked from the other side. 2 men in suits and shades holding torture devices are in front of you. One of them says "We have ways of making you talk." Roll to resist intimidation.

Sammy 1: I fire my oral dart gun at the one who spoke. It's loaded with atropine darts.

Mage: I launch a manabolt at the other guard.

Sammy 2: I wriggle out of my bonds with my flex hands and cut us all free with my hand razors.

Rigger: I use my headware GPS to find out where we are. I go open the door.

GM: hah, the door is locked from the outside!

Decker: I pull the c-4 out of my hollow kneecap and affix it to the door.

GM: Goddamn. This is my last night GMing.

Go ahead, take me prisoner

Catch cry of our group in days gone by....

"Shoot it, shag it, steal its shit...'

or

"Shoot it, root it, loot it..."

we were VERY classy

Well my personal favorite i herd just last friday... One of our players shoots into a melee with a shot gun... to take out 3 babyGs and injures one of our team mates.. well the quote comes from the n00bie "Don't worry.... I GOT a MEDKIT"

Player say "Bang.. click...Crap out of ammo"

Player Responds "Find a vending machine"

Player Says"your hair ain't monofilament line is it?"

Gm says "Oh they got combat pool TOO!"

Gm goes "what armor are you wearing... ahh it doesn't reall matter"

Player goes "I call shot... and roll... you hear several clattering of dice.. and the player counts... i got 12 sucesses"

GM: What page is Military Grade - armor on? Thanks. And MBW?

Rigga please.

So, do you want to tell us about the "Session entitled 'Rigga Please'," or what? 'Cause I've been dying to hear the tale...

Pleaaase?

Rigga what? Rigga puh-LEEZE!

And...What kevyn said.

most ph33rsome line i think i ever heard:

Rigger: "they've got a F*!^#$ tank?!? we are leaving NOW!"

he graciously gave us time to get into the van. not very much, though.

GM: (Turns to players) "Uh. Can I borrow some more dice?"

PC to GM: "Is making my peace with God a free action?"