Okay, a fun game we can all play. It's simple, all you have to do is steal an item from some other source that you would never actually consider putting into Shadowrun but the idea of it makes you chuckle.

the only rules are:

1. You cannot make the item up yourself, you must 'steal' it from movies, video games, fiction, etc.

2. You have to state the source, so we all know you didn't just make it up.

Let's see how long this list can get.

I'll go first.

Boss's Bandana (Metal Gear Solid, Video Game))
Effect- Runners never run out of ammo while it's worn.

Bourne's Identity (The Bourne Identity, Movie)
Effect- While in possession of Bourne's Identity you kick ass. All Active Combat Skills are raised to 7 but you gain the permanent flaw 'Amnesia' and 'Hunted'. Not that it matters, you'll win. Every time.

Kyoto Kid's Keyboard (Dumpshock, Forum)
Effect- You gain Matrix Ettiquette 7 and and a great Street Cred boost but will not be able to go through any conversation without name dropping one or more of your alter egos.

(I know, the last one breaks the rules, but I couldn't help it.)

There are a number of things from a number of sources. None make me chuckle, however. They're just lame. As an example, take the "Nowhere Man" tv show from the mid 90's. An all-powerful, far reaching conspiracy can steal a man's entire life in LITERALY five minutes, even going so far as to change the locks on his house, replace his dog, and wipe all memory of him from all his closest associates. They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want. But they can't get a damn photo negative. Bleh.

The Case (Ronin, Movie)

Effect- so long as the case remains unopened your character has all Active Social Skills at a 7 (especially Con), can drive any car with all the bonuses of a HotSim VR rigger and gains the Knowledge Skill "Everything there is to know about espionage except what color is the boat house at Hereford".

If the case is ever opened, the game world implodes. Generate new game world.

The BFG (Doom, etc.)

Effect. Instant death against any creature without rolling an attack roll with the gun. Instead the target must Roll Reaction + Dodge/ Gymnastics (3) to avoid instant death, with every hit over the threshold reducing the Damage from 16 downwards before the target rolls soak.

OK, let me try:

Chow Yun Fat's Beretta (Hard Boiled, A better Tomorrow, The Replacement Killers...)
Light Pistol, 5P, Semiautomatic, Ammo: 15(clip)
Refills it's clip every combat turn only to be miraculously empty when your archvillain's gun is empty too.

The Rock of Shame (The Simpsons)
Yeah, if you thought dragging this naked through Springfield was hard, just imagine dragging this naked through the Redmond Barrens...

The Matrix (Transformers - Various eras)

The runner gains the title "Prime" and get his own theme music in addition to 7's in all physical attributes as well as all combat skills.

Hmmm...

MJOLNIR battle armor (Halo)
The runner gains Skill Group: Firearms 7 and Skill Group: Close Combat 7, as well as a built-in A.I. that runs tactical functions, but his face cannot be seen.

A compass that doesn't point North (Pirates of the Caribbean)
The runner has a mystical artifact that points towards the runner's greatest desire; note that focusing on said greatest desire is required.

Ribbon (any FF)
Grants INW 20.

Indy's Hat (Henry Jones, Jr.)
Grants Exotic Weapon (monowhip) +6, CHA+2, Major Phobia (snakes)

Sword of Legion(VtM) : Sword inhabited by the demon Legion Jesus faced down in the bible, for every person killed by the sword, the legion gains a member and the swords power increases.

Effectively a weapon focus that gains another force rating every person you kill with it.

Beam Sword(Halo 2) : Automatically fills half a persons physical damage track in one swing. If instead the attacker is charging, then it fills the full physical track instead.

Pistol(Halo) : No penalty for called shots, 3-5 shots in the head and neck area kill everyone regardless of armor.

Chris

Got another one:

The Navigator's head (Monkey Island) ...WITH A FRICKIN' CONTROL RIG
Counts as a rating 7 Pilot as well as Clearsight, Maneuver and Defense autosoft in any vehicle it is plugged into. Also sometimes utters witty comments.

Kimunnicator (Kim Possible)

Connects you to Wade the super Technomancer/Hacker (players preferance)
Wade all his computer/matrix related skills are 7's
Wade all his computer/matrix related attributes are 7's
Wade all his computer/matrix related programs/complex forms are 7's
Wade all his computer/matrix related agents/sprites are 7's

Also for some reason running exssive applications doesn't hinder his commlink/connection so on and so fourth.

The O'Neil Idol (Stargate SG-1, Atlantis, Continuum)

Any character that can successfully make jokes during times of almost certian death will never die.

What is required:
Use catch phrases like "Yeah sure ya betcha" and "D'OH"
Drop referances to the Wizard of Oz
Make general comments and quips that are funny
Lastly must be the one in charge of a 4 person team which must have at least one Brainiac type, one must be female and one total warrior type.

Rincewinds luggage. ( Diskworld. Books by Terry Practchett)

its a 32 legged walking sea chest that is the portal to the dimension of stored space. I has been known to swallow people and store them forever. It does sometimes wander off, but has the uncanny ability to be there right when you need i, but never exactly when you want it.

Some Random Guys Cellphone/PDA (Die Hard 4)

This thing does it all, you can change what frequencies and communications protocols it uses with just a few key presses, and hack government supercomputers with ease, not to mention deliver a 'spam-bomb' without internet access.

My turn to be retarded: The Elder Wand (a.k.a the Deathstick, the Wand of Destiny) from the final Harry Potter. You no longer use the Shadowrun rules of magic, there is no more drain and spells cannot be resisted by the opponents. But you must remember the stupid incantation words or you can't cast spells...

Incoming sleep deprived retardation:

The Pokeball (obvious...)
With a successful hit on a throwing test, it sucks a paracritter (if it fails a Body+Will(4)) into a self contained dimension of space. Can store the paracritter indefinitely until released. The paracritter is semi-obedient to the pokeball owner's commands after capture.

Pink Heart belly tattoo (Care Bears)
Projects a ray of happiness! (Mesmerises onlookers with trid-like images. May cause epilepsy)

Centipede Tattoo (Legend of the Five Rings)
You gain:
Athletics Group 7
Doubles your movement speed
Great Leap 6 (as an Adept)
Freefall 6
Gliding
Traceless Walk
Upon arrival of your destination you collapse and sleep for a week.

The Golden Apple of Discord (Legendary)

Effect: You win Shadowrun; fnord

Bad Stuff: the major Powers That Be want you. I wouldn't let them get you if I were you.

Hartbaine, this has to be one of the best threads I have seen in a while, great idea.

An obvious one:
Guitar Case (El Mariachi)
Pro's: The Character gains the Ambidextrous positve quality, as well as the Firearms Group at 7, Dodge at 7, Artisan (Guitar) at 6 and a mundane version of the Enthralling Performance adept power at a ridiculously high level.
And guns. Tons of guns.
At the Gamemaster's discretion, the character may also summon the help of a washed out teenage heartthrob latin-pop has-been and a nondescript "wacky" sidekick.
Who also bring guns.
Tons of guns.

Con's: Random druglords, scheming generals and badass thugs will hunt the character at the most inappropriate times. Basically, that means anytime.
Also, eventually, said villains will murder his or her wife/husband.
Probably with guns.

Shower Curtain Rings (Trains, Planes & Automobiles)
Effect: Drops all social skills to Untrained (0). Any attempt to get from Point A to Point B using public transportation requires at least four changes of vehicle.

Black Suit (Johnny Mneumonic)
Effect: Grants wearer a permanent Luxury lifestyle but is restricted to high-end hotels. Wearer also gains a Severe Addiction to Room Service.

Antique Puzzle Box (Hellraiser)
Effect: Automatically binds a Force 20 Spirit of Man "Pinhead".

Boomstick: Grants +3 Damage vs. zombies (Shedim) and negates Called Shot penalties (head shot only, Shedim only.)

Chainsaw-hand: A chainsaw is attatched to the character's wrist instead of the hand. Never ending supply of gasoline (possibly due to the spirit power of Wealth.)

Actually not that OP, so I guess I don't win any prizes.

Heartseeker (Mage Knight)

To most this bow appears an ornate yet old and unweildy (STR Min=12) bow, but in the hands of an Ork, it's powerful enchantments come to life. While being used, it gives the user Archery 7 and Strength 12, allows the user to shoot 3 targets at once without penalty, negates called shot penalties (to the heart) and can fire in an arc over obstacles to hit targets the user 'knows' are there without penalty. The bow magically produces it's own arrows and does 14P Damage with -3 AP, but can be used to fire other arrows. Whilst in possesion of the bow an ork will use no other weapon and will not engage in melee combat.

More over powered that overtly silly. Lets try again.

Joshua and Jackal (Hellsing)

Two essentially very big gun handguns, with a length of 39cm each. Joshua is black and chambered for .454 Casull rounds while Jackal is made from 16kg of pure silver and fires 13mm rounds. Those using the guns recieve no boost to their abilities, BUT should they ever be damaged in the presence of a magical threat, the users hair will turn to a substance like liquid silver which can be 'loaded' into the guns and fired at the threat ignoring any immunities or armour and acting as though the threat had a severe allergy to the users magic hair - apparently.

That's better.

Sioux City Sarsaparilla

If a character's favourite hangout happens to serve this mystical elixir, a Stranger in cowboy duds will stop by periodicly for some of that good sarsaparilla, and proceed to narrate everything that occurs in the character's life in a thick, laid back western accent whilst Tumbling Tumbleweeds plays in the background.

Matrix Sunglasses (The Matrix Trilogy)

You have the athletics group at 7.
You are immune to gunfire.
If you are involved in melee the sunglasses will be destroyed.

If you're going to use Hard Boiled, I'd rather have that break-open grenade launcher that holds 5 shots...

Tuna Fishing License (Rock and Rule)
When handed to any police officer, it will cause him to do a passable Duke Wayne impression and he will accept the license as real for just long enough for the bearer to make an escape. Only works when used by (wannabe) rock stars.

The History Eraser Button. (Ren and Stimpy)
When it is attached to any device, it will cause any guard with a Willpower of less than 3, to resist pushing it (Threshold of 3), by summoning a Narrator Spirit who will egg the guard on. Pushing the button will cause the campaign to come to an immediate end.

William Shatner's Toupee (Er, duh!)
If placed upon the head of a male, it will bond itself there. This will cause the wearer to become instantly able to defeat any opponet in hand to hand combat by using a combination of axe handle strikes, knee lifts, and double neck-chops. His charisma will instantly raise to 7, but only in regards to women not of his own race. He will also. Be unable. To speak. Without. Pausing. Dramatically! Has no effect when placed on the head of a female.

...Sonic Screwdriver (Dr. Who)

Effect - Works as a Rating 7 (yes 7) maglock passkey, or Autopicker (depending on type of lock). Also infers 6 rating levels + applicable specialisation in any technical skill the user needs (or + 6 to any technical skill the user posseses) for fixing literally anything from a leaky faucet to alien technology (sorry it still can't fix a broken heart). The Sonic Screwdriver also imparts +4 dice to any intimidation test when wielding it as a weapon (though as a weapon it is rather useless except as a remote detonator for explosives). On a critical glitch the Screwdriver burns out until the next gaming session (plot device).

The caster (Outlaw star)

This gun comes with a limited supply of ammo numbered 1-3, 5-8, 10-12, & 14-20. If the user has the cred (make the cost expensive but doable) then the character can buy special shells numbered 4, 9, & 13 but should the character use these three shells back to back the character dies of course so does his foe.

Gun of Arnold. (Numerous bad 80s action movies. I'm specifically thinking commando but he reloads in that)

A normal looking assault rifle, that, when used, never runs out of bullets, ever. Anyone shot with the gun is knocked back and up into the air in a comical manner.

Also, the user no longer has to aim, so much as point the gun in the general direction of the target. The user takes no penalties for firing in adverse conditions or while injured.

The One Ring (take a guess)
When placed on the index finger (only), makes the wearer completely invisible in the physical world, but also makes the wearer a dual being and unfailingly attracts the attention of every astral being within 500 km to the wearer.

Further, anyone who sees the One Ring must make a Willpower + Charisma test (2 or 5 if holding the Ring) once per minute they are within LOS of the Ring. Those who fail will do anything in their power to get the Ring, convinced it will give them the power to rule the world (even though it doesn't seem to do much of anything).

Walter's Wires (Hellsing)
These ten strands of monowire (attached to rings of indeterminate composition) can be retracted into the rings or extended to virtually any length (up to 100m) as an act of will by the user. The user never risks injuring himself with these weapons regardless of the fact that there are ten individual strands of monowire flailing about. Lastly, the strands only cut through items when the user wishes, behaving like cable or piano wire otherwise.

Walter's Monacle (Hellsing)
This eyepiece gives the wearer superhuman speed and endurance, even if they are a 60+ year old butler. Increase the wearer's Body, Agility, and Reaction to their racial augmented maximum (9 for humans), and add 3 Initiative Passes. Also, the wearer gains the Immunity to Normal Weapons powers (rating Essence x2, enabling him to floss with monowire) and the ability to be cooler than any other character around him (even if the character himself a bit character).

Alucard's Hat (Hellsing manga)
The wearer of this oversized red fashion obscenity gains the ability to make long and rambling speeches (complete with tons of posing) about how cool and badass he is, but is for some reason unable to fight any actual challenge. Increase the wearer's Intimidation skill to 7 while wearing the hat, but if the character is attacked/challenged by an opponent that has even the slightest chance of beating him he must make a Willpower + Charisma test (10) to do anything other than run away or go on and on (and on and on...) about how badass he is.

Integra's Cigars (Hellsing)
When smoking one of these, the character gains the ability to be a complete and utter soulless ice bitch (reduce Charisma to 1 and apply the Uncouth quality, but see below). The character also gains the ability to seem like a competent, skilled authority figure and bark orders excellently (increase Leadership to 7, Charisma 6 for purposes of this skill) even though they never actually do anything (reduce all combat skills by -3). The effects of one cigar last for 3 hours after smoking it.

The Cyberware of Vecna, a matching cybereye and cyberhand. Maxed cyber stats; the eye is also a Force 6 Spellcasting Focus for Detection magic, and the hand is a Force 6 Weapon Focus. The truly fearless may replace their own head with the Cyberskull of Vecna, but the essence cost will take you straight into cyberzombie status.

A ring which at first appears to be a Sustaining Focus for the Invisibility spell, but is also a Focus for Mob Mind and Increase Charisma. However, it costs increasing Essence and casts Influence on the owner; it yearns to return to its maker and true owner, William Portal, the CEO of MiniCode, so that he can single-handedly set the protocols for the Matrix, which of course are optimised for the MiniCode version of Analyse, Edit, etc., which of course run only on Minicode OS.

Magicbane from the classic computer game Nethack. Weapon Focus, automatic Counterspell, and can Stun, Scare (Fear, BBB p.288) or Confuse (BBB p. 287). Use colored dice; a hit on the red die means Stun, a hit on the blue die means Scare, a hit on the yellow die means Confuse.

Knight 2000 sports car with KITT onboard computer, from "Knight Rider". Hardened Armor 12. KITT is Pilot 8 with matching Target, Clearsight, etc., but also a Cylon (cf. the eyes of old-show Cylons).

Kuang Grade Mark Eleven Penetration Program from "Neuromancer". "...interface with Ono-Sendai Cyberspace 7 is entirely compatible and yields optimal penetration capabilities, particularly with regard to existing military systems..." Single use only. Combines Exploit, Stealth and Filter.

The phone booth from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure". +10 Edge for rerolls.

Batman's utility belt with Batarang (STR/2+2, +2 to disarm), bat-cuffs, bat-camera with polarized bat-filter, shark repellent spray, etc. Roll Intuition+Edge to find whatever small item you need at the moment. Bat-Stun-Gas grenades have the same effect as Neuro-Stun, with the side effect of causing the victim to audibly curse or lament their disabled state.

The Lawgiver pistol from "Judge Dredd", which fires ammo including Heat Seeker (+4 to hit and ignores cover penalties; counter with Thermal Smoke), Ricochet, Incidiary, and Exorcist ammo which is Dual Natured and does bonus damage to ghouls and vampires. This is a descendant of the Sandman Gun from "Logan's Run" which fires homer (heatseeker), tangler (net), vapor (CS gas), ripper (AP), nitro (hi-ex), and needler (flechette), as a revolver with a cylinder that spins to the chamber carrying the desired ammo type.

Hostess Twinkies & Fruit Pies, with effects as described in advertisements in 1970s/1980s comic books. If you never read those, then I don't rightly know how to explain them, but you can see them at www.seanbaby.com/hostess.htm

"The Oscillation Overthruster" from Buckaroo Banzai

When a vechical is properly fitted with the Oscillation Overthruster it gains the ability to actually physically pass into astral plane and then the metaplanes by colliding with a solid object in a headlong collision. The collision needed to enter the astral plane or the metaplanes does no damage to the vechical as long as the Oscillation Overthruster is working properly, and all passengers inside the vechial are also transported into the astral and metaplanes along with the vechical without harm from the collision.

Well, I finally thought of a couple.

1. "Cock Rocket". You'll just have to watch "Orgazmo". Describing it would'nt do it justice.

2. Ever see "From Dusk Till Dawn (1st)? Remember "Sex Machine"? He had a rather, ah, intimate place to store his firearm. Basically it was a revolver that popped up from his crotch.

I'm surprised this has gone so far without someone making the obligatory Holy Hand Grenade reference.

Anyway though, I'm going to go with... The Three Seashells!

"One, two, FIVE!"

LOL, great flick.

The Brain of Abby Normal (Young Frankenstein)

This special brain is a character unto itself and is considered severely retarded; it suffers from the uncouth and uneducated negative qualities and is quite incapable of normal speech. However, as long as the brain is transplanted into an appropriate cyborg or cyberzombie body it will not be subject to the mental negative qualities normally associated with being a cyborg or cyberzombie. N appropriate body in this case is defined as being about 7 and a half feet tall, 54 inches wide and having an enormous schwanzstucker.

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
This shot-put shaped munition is painted (but not actually) gold, with four steel bands inlaid with (faux) mother-of-pearls, a (faux) jewel encrusted grey-steel crucifix for the arming pin & a small faceplace reading "Holy Hand Grenade of Anitoch".
Acts as a typical standard grenade, however gains a +10 DV against the breed of rodent known as the Lepus CaerBannog, or Vorpal Bunny. The rodent is annihilated only on a successful strike.
The crucifix-pin alone, separated from a disposed-of grenade, has a resale value of only 100.

The HHG is usually guarded by two travelling monks: Brother Maynard (treat as the Street Mage) and his acolyte (treat as the Street Shaman).

SBC Cannon (Serious Sam)

This bulky firearm is a hand held cast iron cannon with no trigger or fuse to speak of. Despite appearances it can be fired and the only recoil resulting from doing so is quite negligible. It fires special ammo only (uranium filled cannonballs) which causes most soft targets to be ripped apart as the cannonball tears through them. If the cannonball hits any obstacle the can be considered a 'wall', 'floor', or 'cieling', it bounces off harmlessly making no visible impact (it just seems to know, is all). After bouncing around for a while, or if it hits a larger or well armoured target, it explodes violently.

-Though there have been some safety concerns raised by the choice to fill the cannonballs with uranium, they eventually died down when it came to taking in consideration the purpose of the device. Plus the lead casing negates any side effects the uranium.

The Wabbajack (Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion)
Any living creature hit by this staff is transformed into one of the following at random: a Rat, Deer, Sheep, Ogre, Goblin, Troll, or animated Skeleton. This effect lasts 30 minutes.

Before a character can use the Wabbajack, he must cause Flaming Dogs to rain down upon a small rural village.

The Machine Pistols from underworld that can cut through the floor . . . and never run out of ammo.

The flat space technology from Ultraviolet (how many guns can I carry)

Mcgyvers multi tool, classes as a full facility for any technical skill (including chemistry)

Matt Le Blancs armour from lost in space, fold away heavy security armour.

The box of guns from Grosse Point Blank, contains any weapon you want ever.

The Gyver . . . .

and for us sad aging british sci fi fans, Orac from Blakes 7, an AI in a box, with knowledge about everything.

...Babel Fish

The Wardrobe, from Lion the witch in the Wardrobe.

Acts as a permanent astral gateway to the metaplanes . . . .

Gordon Freeman's Crowbar (Half-life)

A red-painted steel crowbar 48" Long.

It enables the user to escape from any environmental hazard or catastrophe, natural or man-made. Does bonus damage to zombies, and if lost, magically re-appears.
The bearer of this artifact is effectively mute, and is continuously forced into situations that are not under his or her control.

The Mysterious Case (Pulp Fiction)

A simple, brown, battered attache case. The code for the built in combination lock is 666.
The case contains mysterious scientific equipment, and a 40 watt light bulb that emits a golden glow. Anyone opening the case and looking inside is stunned until they are shouted at.