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Dr Funfrock
QUOTE (Socinus @ Nov 23 2008, 01:24 PM) *
**Character loading a heavy machine gun**

"Bless mah bullets, Priest, 'cause Im gonna make somethin' holey!"


Oh God... It's not Shadowrun, but that reminds me of a glorious moment in a Fading Suns game.

We'd been hired by a member of the Brother Battle (warrior priests) to help deal with mutants attacking a small town. We'd made a trip out into the desert and ended up in some horrible haunted house. Returning to the Brother Battle, all of us pale as sheets and scared half to death, we explain what happened. The Brother Battle calmly responds "Ah. So not mutants, but demons. That's easy then." and proceeds to pull off the ammo belt for his twin revolvers and start blessing each bullet.
After some further incredulity from the party he explains, as if taking a child by the hand, that it's easy to kill demons really. You just have to bless your bullets, and let your faith handle the rest.

Watching the whole thing, my Vorox (12 foot tall wookie with four arms. Yes, that is somewhat scary) nods calmly, and heads back to the ship. The Priest in the party is woken by a hammering on his door, and the sight of the Vorox dumping down a crate of over 5000 rounds for his minigun.

"You gotta bless 'em."
"All of them?"
"Yep."
"Individually?"
"Yep."
"But theres..."
"Yep. Better get to work holy man."



As an aside, we later discovered that since the Priest had dilligently blessed every single item in the Vorox's ridiculous arsenal (four arms means twice as many guns. Now think about how many your average Shadowrunner has...) we were therefore not only in possession of numerous holy blades, guns, and bullets, but also a small stash of holy hand grenades.

Damn that was an awesome game.
Hagga
Neither are phrases, but they apply nonetheless.
One.]
Two.
Platinum Dragon
QUOTE (Hagga @ Nov 24 2008, 10:40 AM) *
Neither are phrases, but they apply nonetheless.
One.]
Two.


D'awwww, poor unicorn. He looks so sad.
dobbersp
My name is syntax, shut your diction.


triggers arent just for database updates.
Onii
Hey, kinda new here but have been playing 3rd Ed for a while now. My personal fav is my Elven Weaponsmith Gun-Bunnies personal creed - Diplomacy is leaving the safety on. smile.gif

I might add that this very same character, in order to enter negotiations with a Triad Boss, shot through the maglock to his room with a high end custom built B/F only Heavy Pistol thereby wounding both the Boss himself and one of the 2 girls he was with in the leg and thusly prematurely bringing most of our negotiating capabilities to an abrupt halt before they had even begun.

Interestingly enough we managed to complete the run successfully, survived completely intact with no repercussions, made a lot more profit as well (Well MY girl did anyway... nyahnyah.gif ), I got the team nick of 'Plan B' and we still drink at the same bar where it all went down.

Gotta love it when all of your plans go to hell but you manage to improvise brilliantly. smile.gif

The look on the GMs face is priceless. biggrin.gif
Blade
QUOTE (Onii @ Nov 26 2008, 03:57 PM) *
Gotta love it when all of your plans go to hell but you manage to improvise brilliantly. smile.gif


Especially when you smoke cigars.
"I love it when a plan comes together."
ravensmuse
Hand grenades are a great way to say, "Hi there gun toting stranger!"

To quote Red Dwarf:
"Why can't we ever meet anyone nice?"
"Why can't we ever meet anyone who can shoot straight?"

"Bitch, I *am* cover!" cracks me up every time, by the by.
ImmoralSalvage
"Teamwork is essential it gives them other people to shoot at"

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

"Friendly fire - isn't."

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered
automatic weapons."
Captian C-Bucks
one of them is in my signature...

then theres a few rules to go by
"Its just a simple pick-up mission, nothing fancy - you just need to pic up an object of art and deliver it." is a Johnsons way of saying "I want you dead within the hour for no pay whatsoever".

if Harlequin askes you to "help him out"... yes you feel outclassed for a reason - stay the frag out of it!

no- you dont wanna know whats in the Aztechnology Pyramid in Seattle.

there is no such thing as broke - there is just the moral issues with organ-legging.

make sure you put the troll in front - if he´s to stupid to notice stuff - he wont notice the first sniperrifle. Thats fine - it DOES leave you time to get your ass covered.

do NOT tell the bouncer at Toadslaps that Tic-Tacs would be a viable solution for his biggest problem.

Gangers on Kamikaze really do not like "your mum" jokes.

Tactical Nuke>Doom>Neurostun VII> Fists - if you wanna K.O. someone, get shock gloves!

"We are not certain about the where and howabouts of your mission target" is the Johnsons way of saying - "if you die, thats fine - if you dont- we'll pay you the med bill".

C-Bucks
Moya
- Hey! Don't squeeze the Shaman!

- Remember, if it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick.

- Hand Grenades… the forbidden Hello.

- Kill ‘em all and let Doc Wagon sort them out.

- No that sounded unnecessarily sinister.

- You bastard! You killed my hostage!

- I woke up with a Halloweener’s hand in pants. That’s what I did today.
Cantankerous
From an old game from years ago.

Mr. McKinney, my Elven Faceman/Inflitration Specialist:
QUOTE
"Hey, you don't want to pull that stuff with us. In fact you might want to consider renegotiating now. Yes, we respect you. We respect you so much that presently we have an insanely beautiful woman who is counting the hairs of your left eyebrow through her Walther's scope. And she holds your future existence by about 3oz. of pressure.

What, why does it matter that she's an insanely beautiful woman? Hey, we're the Saints, we're all about respect and honor. No one wants to wander around the afterlife knowing that they were put down by a dog. If you try to dis us we still want your transition into the afterlife to be as non-traumatic as possible."



Isshia
masterofm
Is that a cyberarm in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

Donuts and coffee is to Lone Star, what first strike is to Shadowrunners.

Shooting people makes them sleepy. Eventually when you put enough bullets in them they just have to lye down and take a nap.

No one wants to go through the door first so your job is to convince someone else to go instead of you.

Business time; It's like "Hammer Time" but with less dancing and more hammer.

***

One of our runners said this at our table and I thought it was awesome.

"If you can't explain what you did in one sentence as an act of good - then it was evil."

We use it occasionally when someone does a highly questionable act. One response to that question was

"Well if we didn't stuff him in a box and force him on BTLs 24/7, then we would have had to kill him."
dog_xinu
"mob mind for the win..."

with a large street Sam leaning over the bathroom stall wall to a guy sitting on the toilet, "put this tranq patch on your nuts or I will shoot you in the face with this here preditor....."

"when the pacifist is beating your junk with your own shoe, just imagine what those two physcopaths over there will do to you...."

"never ever ever give a DNA sample to a Johnson no matter what they say..." "but be said it was standard operating proceedure for runs like this...." "ok moron. let me be clear. never ever ever ever give that sample. if the Johnson is that insistant, just shoot them in the head immediately and leave the city for a while....". (actual duscusion I had with another player a few years ago)
Jhaiisiin
This one was said by one of my players. Yes, he's a little screwed up.

"Anyone will talk if you pour gasoline on their kids."
Uli
"I'm venal, but not cheap."

A Lonestar cop to an injured blood mage who was fleeing from his low profile appartment while the runners just crashed out of the second floor window in full body armor right behind her.
"Don't worry, Mam, you're safe now!"
Matsci
Violence isn't the answer, It's the question.
The Answer is YES!


Indiscriminate murder is counter-productive.
Draco18s
The psychopath will chain a mage to the wall with mage-cuffs, look around, grab a hammer, a tent stake, and a torch welder and start asking questions.

He'll never get to the torch welder, the mage will blow his own brains with a cranial bomb first.

(This actually happened. The pacifist actually left the party because we were too violent).
PlatonicPimp
QUOTE (Hagga @ Nov 20 2008, 02:15 PM) *
"

"Shadowrun is the only game where getting a drink from a vending machine can legitimately involve an anti-tank rocket launcher."


I take it you haven't played paranioa then.
Kingboy
The trick there is getting the (appropriate) clearance for the rocket launcher in the first place. Or as more usually happens, trying not to be executed for treason when the soda machine dispenses a rocket launcher instead...which of course you don't have clearance for you mutant commie scum.
Jhaiisiin
"Commies are allergic to fire"
Tyro
The most common cause of death for Shadowrunners is terminal lead poisoning.

It's not the troll that kills you, it's the sidewalk 40 stories below the window he threw you out of (made that one up on the spot)
masterofm
All runners are highly allergic to led, which is why they generally don't like to get shot.

Every single runner creates something. The hacker creates the diversion, the face creates the way in, the cyber sammie creates the corpses, the demo expert creates the way out or any holes that need to be made, the rigger creates the screen, and the mundane unaugmented jack of all trades lowstat/skill human creates his own grease stain.

Seriously sometimes you just wonder how someone could pour 400 bps into a character and have it be so banal.
Cadmus
I rather like what my sig used to say personaly,

Make a deal with a spirit? Ofcourse I'll make a deal with the spirit, I'd make a deal with a cheery pie if I knew the cherry pie could fly to my house and turn my famly into chuckroast.


child of insanity
why do they call it a sucking chest wound?
have you ever had one?
no... why?
they suck
-my sammy asking the doc during sugery on the rigger.
thepatriot
I can't believe you all haven't touched on the best Dragon phrases:

"Watch what you say and who is around when you say it, mortal... you ARE crunchy, and you WILL taste good with ketchup."

Data Haven Denizen: "You mean the "Orange Queen" who posts here is..."
Hestaby: "You were expecting Aretha Franklin?"

"Wealth is nothing more than an illusion created by those who know not how to generate it for themselves."
(Lofwyr, of course)

"...I drek bigger than you."
Neraph
"Life is a game, and money is a way of keeping score" - Silk, the Belgariad.
Caadium
"In Shadowrun there is no alignment!"
child of insanity
ethics? you mean like getting paid, right?
no idea who said it, i saw it on rpg.net's motivational poster thread
child of insanity
QUOTE (Onii @ Nov 27 2008, 01:57 AM) *
Hey, kinda new here but have been playing 3rd Ed for a while now. My personal fav is my Elven Weaponsmith Gun-Bunnies personal creed - Diplomacy is leaving the safety on. smile.gif

I might add that this very same character, in order to enter negotiations with a Triad Boss, shot through the maglock to his room with a high end custom built B/F only Heavy Pistol thereby wounding both the Boss himself and one of the 2 girls he was with in the leg and thusly prematurely bringing most of our negotiating capabilities to an abrupt halt before they had even begun.

Interestingly enough we managed to complete the run successfully, survived completely intact with no repercussions, made a lot more profit as well (Well MY girl did anyway... nyahnyah.gif ), I got the team nick of 'Plan B' and we still drink at the same bar where it all went down.

Gotta love it when all of your plans go to hell but you manage to improvise brilliantly. smile.gif

The look on the GMs face is priceless. biggrin.gif


first of all, fuck you. you guys suck. second... if only you guys could have bragged about it your reps would go through the roof and your payscale would at least double... god i hate it when every player in the situation get to make an open test... and they all roll more than 30. repeatedly. LOL and i will admit, the look on my face would have been priceless.
Onii
QUOTE (child of insanity @ Dec 3 2008, 03:29 PM) *
first of all, fuck you. you guys suck. second... if only you guys could have bragged about it your reps would go through the roof and your payscale would at least double... god i hate it when every player in the situation get to make an open test... and they all roll more than 30. repeatedly. LOL and i will admit, the look on my face would have been priceless.


Roflmao. Yes, yes it was. Utterly. smile.gif
Damage
"I don't care what it says in the rules, you cannot use the elf as a flotation device!"
ravensmuse
Mentioning the rpg.net motivational posters makes me think of this quote, which cracks me up every time I think of it:

"Steadying himself atop the speeding Lamborghini, the sorcelator drew his twin wands - Hurt and Burn. He was going to make damn sure the Pirate Assassins and their metal friends rued this day and rued it hard."

- Shadowrun - It's kind of like that.

The image is what gets me.
DireRadiant
There is only one answer to the question of what rating is your medkit.
Stahlseele
"I did not know it could do that" < = GM and occassionally a player, at least once every Session
masterofm
For a Shadowrunner it's not about doing "the right thing," only doing the right thing at the time.
Rad
Coined tonight:

"Man, you split one atom and all hell breaks loose."
Cadmus
This quote came up in a diffrent game but I think it applys after all in shadowrun your still the bad guys smile.gif

The plot was we where breaking into a place and basicly bashing people around,

Player 1 " Ok time to be the bad guys,"
Player 2 " we arn't the bad guys we are the good guys,
Player 3" What do you mean?
Player 2, " What? don't look at me like that, we are the good guys, after all we are very good at this."


Well it struck me as funny smile.gif granted shortly there after a hand grenade struck me but hey,
Rad
Also coined today at our shadowrun group:

Me: "Guys, we have an opportunity to commit genocide here!"
Other Player: "Dude, we're runners, not Nazis!"
Me: "We've been trying to take over the world for some time now, I think the distinction has become a little blurred."
AllTheNothing
Every bullet fired is a cost that reduces the run gains.

As Ares teaches, if the plan involves a nuke you have messed up big time (Winternight teaches to for the matter).

Don't worry, dreck always hits the fan.

How did the slot who wrote "the law of Murfy" (Ithink it written this way) know about shadowrunning?

AllTheNothing
QUOTE (Rad @ Dec 6 2008, 10:15 AM) *
Also coined today at our shadowrun group:

Me: "Guys, we have an opportunity to commit genocide here!"
Other Player: "Dude, we're runners, not Nazis!"
Me: "We've been trying to take over the world for some time now, I think the distinction has become a little blurred."



Do they work for a japanese or swiss corporation?
Heath Robinson
QUOTE (AllTheNothing @ Dec 6 2008, 12:26 PM) *
How did the slot who wrote "the law of Murfy" (Ithink it written this way) know about shadowrunning?

Murphy's law. Coined by (or named after, it's kinda fuzzy) a British engineer.
Tachi
QUOTE (AllTheNothing @ Dec 6 2008, 05:26 AM) *
Every bullet fired is a cost that reduces the run gains.

As Ares teaches, if the plan involves a nuke you have messed up big time (Winternight teaches to for the matter).

Don't worry, dreck always hits the fan.

How did the slot who wrote "the law of Murfy" (Ithink it written this way) know about shadowrunning?


Murphy's Laws of: Life, Warfare, etc.

Murphy's General Law #1
What ever can go wrong, will go wrong. This applies to all the different subsets of Murphy's Laws, this is always Law #1.

Murphy was a demon from the deepest pits of hell. That's why people always refer to him as "The Demon: Murphy."
Rad
QUOTE (AllTheNothing @ Dec 6 2008, 04:27 AM) *
Do they work for a japanese or swiss corporation?


We're independent. Our current employer is a A-rated corp supposedly working on ion-drive tech for space exploration...
MaxMahem
One that seems to keep coming up in our games.

"Don't invite other Shadowrunners over to your apartment... ... .... ever."

Heh... maybe doesn't make a lot of sense to you guys, but its very true for our campaign. Trust me. Nothing good can ever come from it.
KurenaiYami
Two of my players, have a mock meeting, one of them pretending to be the Johnson:

Player: "So, what does the job pay?"
Johnson: "Enough."
Player: "We want more."
Johnson: "Fine. More than enough."
Cantankerous
Domingo to a new team member that was arguing for a more aggressive approach to a Run.

QUOTE
There are two ways we do things here: Blues way and the wrong way. Keep that clearly in mind and you never have to feel that size 34eeeee boot connect with your hoop.


with the proviso:

QUOTE
Actually there is a third way: quietly. You can cap the sec guard you just dropped, sure, but pack a parachute if you do get caught at it because after that boot connects you'll need it to keep from breaking your neck when you land.


with the admission:
QUOTE
Yeah, he's a friggin' Tyrant man. Of course since he took over we haven't lost a single member and haven't been successfully hosed by a single Johnson, so yeah, we take it. Frag Omae, we love it.


Domingo lecturing the same Runner on the basics.

QUOTE
Five things to always remember is always pack enough ammo, the setting for your emergency channel and what ever the other three happen to be for the specific situation.


Again, to the same guy a few Runs later by another team member.

QUOTE
You did what to his sister? Would you leave me your rifle in your will?



Isshia
AllTheNothing
QUOTE (Rad @ Dec 6 2008, 01:47 PM) *
We're independent. Our current employer is a A-rated corp supposedly working on ion-drive tech for space exploration...



Than your runners did chose rhe wrong corp if they want to commit genocide (unless the space exploration thing is a "We go elsewhere while our doom day weapon goes off fragging everyone else on Earth" thing).
Rad
The ion drive thing is a cover. They're really working on quantum-physics tech that allows travel to other dimensions. Some of their researchers got lost and they hired us to go in and get them back.

Bottom line: What happens in dimension X, doesn't affect your Rep score. biggrin.gif
masterofm
"They're really working on quantum-physics tech that allows travel to other dimensions."

That actually made me laugh. I think it might be easier in the SR world to use the metaplanes as a point of reference instead of dimensional travel, since it is more in tune to the game itself.
AllTheNothing
QUOTE (Rad @ Dec 7 2008, 01:41 PM) *
The ion drive thing is a cover. They're really working on quantum-physics tech that allows travel to other dimensions. Some of their researchers got lost and they hired us to go in and get them back.

Bottom line: What happens in dimension X, doesn't affect your Rep score. biggrin.gif



I think that it has the potential of drecking your reputation with the Azzies, what a ride would be:
Runners jumping betwen planes, ruining horror's days, dating with their hot sisters (and maybe mothers too), and giving an owfull reputetion to metahumanity around the multiverse, all with the Big D's ghost (possessing a cyberzombie) that watches from the backgroung eating popcorns (cooked on open flame of course) biggrin.gif .

Sorry but your champain is so sci-fi that the subtlest thing that you can do is going completely over the top.
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