Expect the players will be twice as stupid as you would hope and twice as clever as you would like.
Never bring a RIVAL ganger into Halloweener turf for safe keeping.
Without trust there is no respite. Without trust there is no betrayal.
Dont up the calibre, up the accuracy.
Full Version: Comical Shadowrun phrases to live by
QUOTE (Chrysalis @ Nov 13 2008, 07:09 PM) 
When you pull the pin on Mr Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
A grenade's explosion radius is always one foot greater than your jumping distance.
5 second grenades have 3 second fuses.
QUOTE (DocTaotsu @ Nov 14 2008, 07:19 AM)
No plan survives contact with the players.
I think that's a little more accurate.
I think that's a little more accurate.
There are three solutions to any given situation: the two that the GM anticipates and plans for, and the one the players will eventually devise and use.
"If every crime syndicate in the city has a bounty on your head, it might be time to change tactics...or move."
"A Johnson in hand is way too much information"
" I trust you like a brother... but then, my brother is a chiphead and a thief."
"A Johnson in hand is way too much information"
" I trust you like a brother... but then, my brother is a chiphead and a thief."
This is "Old School" from SR1.
"Is that a Panther Cannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Is that a Panther Cannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Wow, I'm a little surprised that some of these are missing:
1: Friendly fire - isn't.
1b: Suppressive fire - doesn't.
2: The law of supply and demand as it applies while on the run:
Whatever you have, you won't need.
Whatever you need, you won't have.
3: The Boys in Black invariably show up on two occasions:
a) When they're good and ready, and
b) When you're not
4: If you're short on everything except incoming rounds, you're on a run...
5: Odd objects attract fire; never take cover behind one.
5b: Odd objects attract fire; yes, this means YOU are odd.
6: Professional killers are predictable; the world, however, is full of dangerous amateurs
"When you pull the pin on Mr Grenade, he is no longer your friend."
7: Grenades are equal opportunity weapons
8: Any runner's story that starts "So, there I was,...." will be either true or false.
8b: Any of these stories that end with "and that's the way it happened, no drek." was neither true nor false.
In regards to whether Trolls or drones go in first:
9: Don't be the first one in, don't ever be the last in... and whatever you do, never, EVER volunteer to scout ahead.
10: There is always a failsafe way into the highly-guarded corporation's KoS zone ... the problem is that it never works.
11: Any drekhead off the street can be used to safely clear a boobytrap for you .... once.
12: Walk softly, but forget the big stick. Carry a belt-fed weapon.
12b: When you see the gillette carrying the Panther Assault Cannon, remember: the raw damage output of the weapon is always inversely proportional to the IQ of it's wielder.
13: If it's stupid but it works - it wasn't stupid. (Youse just a lousy slot wot can't admit it were a damn good idear!)
14: The easy way in is ALWAYS mined... or worse.
15: Your fellow runners all serve their own purpose in each and every run; they give the enemy someone else to shoot at.
15b: Never draw fire; it tends to irritate everyone around you.
16: There are very few times when your opponent cannot actually hear you: when he's dead, when you're dead, or when you're not there.
17: If you can think clearly, know exactly what's happening, and are in total control of a situation while on a run... you're not on a run.
18: The terms "bullet-proof" and "personal armor" are mutually exclusive.
19: When purchasing gear for the next run, remember that you can get it:
a) Cheap
b) Fast
c) In good condition.
Pick any two
20: If at first you don't succeed, redefine "success."
1: Friendly fire - isn't.
1b: Suppressive fire - doesn't.
2: The law of supply and demand as it applies while on the run:
Whatever you have, you won't need.
Whatever you need, you won't have.
3: The Boys in Black invariably show up on two occasions:
a) When they're good and ready, and
b) When you're not
4: If you're short on everything except incoming rounds, you're on a run...
5: Odd objects attract fire; never take cover behind one.
5b: Odd objects attract fire; yes, this means YOU are odd.
6: Professional killers are predictable; the world, however, is full of dangerous amateurs
"When you pull the pin on Mr Grenade, he is no longer your friend."
7: Grenades are equal opportunity weapons
8: Any runner's story that starts "So, there I was,...." will be either true or false.
8b: Any of these stories that end with "and that's the way it happened, no drek." was neither true nor false.
In regards to whether Trolls or drones go in first:
9: Don't be the first one in, don't ever be the last in... and whatever you do, never, EVER volunteer to scout ahead.
10: There is always a failsafe way into the highly-guarded corporation's KoS zone ... the problem is that it never works.
11: Any drekhead off the street can be used to safely clear a boobytrap for you .... once.
12: Walk softly, but forget the big stick. Carry a belt-fed weapon.
12b: When you see the gillette carrying the Panther Assault Cannon, remember: the raw damage output of the weapon is always inversely proportional to the IQ of it's wielder.
13: If it's stupid but it works - it wasn't stupid. (Youse just a lousy slot wot can't admit it were a damn good idear!)
14: The easy way in is ALWAYS mined... or worse.
15: Your fellow runners all serve their own purpose in each and every run; they give the enemy someone else to shoot at.
15b: Never draw fire; it tends to irritate everyone around you.
16: There are very few times when your opponent cannot actually hear you: when he's dead, when you're dead, or when you're not there.
17: If you can think clearly, know exactly what's happening, and are in total control of a situation while on a run... you're not on a run.
18: The terms "bullet-proof" and "personal armor" are mutually exclusive.
19: When purchasing gear for the next run, remember that you can get it:
a) Cheap
b) Fast
c) In good condition.
Pick any two
20: If at first you don't succeed, redefine "success."
To each problem its grenade.
"When you look left, look right. When you look down, look up. When you look straight, look back."
No good deed goes unpunished.
Just when you think you've had enough, there's always more.
Even when you're on-time, you're late.
Just when you think you've had enough, there's always more.
Even when you're on-time, you're late.
QUOTE (DocTaotsu @ Nov 13 2008, 03:19 PM)
No plan survives contact with the players.
I think that's a little more accurate.
I think that's a little more accurate.
When I get to play, my brilliant, admittedly eccentric, plans are almost always shot down by the GM.
And because nobody has said it yet:
"Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, make a deal with a dragon."
And one of mine:
If that seemingly meek target you're interrogating starts mumbling to himself, you have three choices.
1: shoot him, in the head, many times
2: run
3: die
If you have to keep the mission with no mortality rate, knock the guard unconscious steal his clothes smear Ky jelly on his hand and butt and stick a broom up his ass. Take pictures and leave them in the break-room.
Murphy's rules for combat
"Yeah it sucks, but then, everything sucks."
Murphy's rules for combat
[ Spoiler ]
"Yeah it sucks, but then, everything sucks."
Cassidy: "And what is it with you and that ridunkulously gigantic axe?"
Bulldog: "It's not the size of the axe, it's how you use it."
Mac: "Yeah...whatever. Your axe is flippin' huge!"
Bulldog: "Well, they never go on to say that having a big axe is a bad thing..."
Bulldog: "It's not the size of the axe, it's how you use it."
Mac: "Yeah...whatever. Your axe is flippin' huge!"
Bulldog: "Well, they never go on to say that having a big axe is a bad thing..."
Never trust anyone who says "trust me."
Always bring more weapons then you can possibly use.
Violence is generally the first and last resort.
There is almost always an inverse proportion of how runners tend to botch the easiest runs, but rock all over the hardest ones. Why is this? If you asked them to protect a person from a small gang that has been hassling their store generally half the block will end up being destroyed, the shop keeper killed, and on Lone Stars hit list. However if they are taking on a heavily guarded facility (the challenge) they will at least do a decent job of it and at least rip all of your cleaver plans to shit. If not at least they will always have done better then protecting the shopkeeper against like five guys on bikes carrying light pistols.
Always bring more weapons then you can possibly use.
Violence is generally the first and last resort.
There is almost always an inverse proportion of how runners tend to botch the easiest runs, but rock all over the hardest ones. Why is this? If you asked them to protect a person from a small gang that has been hassling their store generally half the block will end up being destroyed, the shop keeper killed, and on Lone Stars hit list. However if they are taking on a heavily guarded facility (the challenge) they will at least do a decent job of it and at least rip all of your cleaver plans to shit. If not at least they will always have done better then protecting the shopkeeper against like five guys on bikes carrying light pistols.
When in danger, or in doubt; run in circles, scream and shout.
"Happiness is a warm gun." - Unknown
For a 'run you need a plan, a secondary plan, a reserve plan, a contingency plan, an emergency plan and always a good pair of sheos to get the f**k out of there running like hell for your own life.
Shadowruns are named after their regular conclusion: running or dieing.
If the run was succesfull something something didn't go as intended.
If the run was succesfull something, it means that dreck hit someone else fan.
A runner is likely to be worth more money once dead than living, but than everyone is.
Let the SINless throw the first granade.
Shadowruns are named after their regular conclusion: running or dieing.
If the run was succesfull something something didn't go as intended.
If the run was succesfull something, it means that dreck hit someone else fan.
A runner is likely to be worth more money once dead than living, but than everyone is.
Let the SINless throw the first granade.
When betryed:
Tu quoque Bruto filii mignottarum.
Tu quoque Bruto filii mignottarum.
QUOTE (psychophipps @ Nov 16 2008, 11:57 AM)
"Happiness is a warm gun." - Unknown
Happines standes always on a very specific end of the barrel.
This one co-opted from one of the group's GM's for my most recent character (who drives around in a stolen LS cruiser, wearing a dead cop's uniform) - also works for actual LS cops;
"Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law!:
"Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law!:
"so what's plan B?" "shoot everyone and throw some grenades" "i like plan B, lets just skip plan A"
"Runners dont have friends, only resources."
"Ambush is just a fancy word for your an idiot"
-----
"Ok plan C"
"What about plan A"
"Plan A and B always fail so I'm just saving us time and skipping straight to C"
"Ambush is just a fancy word for your an idiot"
-----
"Ok plan C"
"What about plan A"
"Plan A and B always fail so I'm just saving us time and skipping straight to C"
If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, shoot it til it moves.
QUOTE (Warlordtheft @ Nov 12 2008, 12:15 AM)
Nah, it's DGIF, unless the troll really wants to get shot up.
A drone that goes in first gets shot up (rigger complains that this is comming out of someone else's pay) and can be repaired or replaced. The troll gets shot up, chopped up for body parts and is then sold to the local Tanamous dealer. Ok..TGIF, unless you actuall like the troll.
A drone that goes in first gets shot up (rigger complains that this is comming out of someone else's pay) and can be repaired or replaced. The troll gets shot up, chopped up for body parts and is then sold to the local Tanamous dealer. Ok..TGIF, unless you actuall like the troll.
Sounds like your trolls aren't very good.
According to the SR4 BBB:
The scariest words in the English language are, "It'll be easy."
The scariest words in the English language are, "It'll be easy."
When in doubt, shoot.
Never bring a bow to a gun fight, unless you are a troll with a 15 strength.
And my ever favorite answer when asked by a NYPD officer what I do for a living. "I catch bullets."
Also what everyone missed. The Spirit goes in first.
Never bring a bow to a gun fight, unless you are a troll with a 15 strength.
And my ever favorite answer when asked by a NYPD officer what I do for a living. "I catch bullets."
Also what everyone missed. The Spirit goes in first.
QUOTE (wind_in_the_stones @ Nov 16 2008, 04:07 PM)
Sounds like your trolls aren't very good.
It is not that they aren't any good, it's just that nothing short of a dragon can take full auto butsts from HMGs in gunports. Drones are expendable, your troll isn't (unless he is really really stupid).
Forgot one of my favorites:
Rule#1 in shadowrun:Geek the Mage.
Rule#2 in shadowrun:Geek the other Mage.
QUOTE (Blade @ Nov 13 2008, 08:26 AM)
I like the quotes from "the Book of Cataclysm" in Syndicate Wars:
*Snip the awesome*
*Snip the awesome*
Perfect! Where can I get a copy of Synficate Wars?
Also to post without adding would be rude.
There is no plan so simple it cannnot be fucked up royally by an idiot with a Panther. - Unknown
In the course of human events there comes a time for all good men to... RUN FOR YOUR FRIGGIN' LIVES!!!!!!!!!
"Just for Shits and Giggles, let's try to work with Plan A BEFORE switching to Plan B for once"
"Why do we still call it Plan B? Usually it's Plan A, B AND C anyway . ."
"Why do we still call it Plan B? Usually it's Plan A, B AND C anyway . ."
"If all else fails, use explosives" - We took this to the extreme.
"Need a distraction? Steal a chopper, fill it full of explosives and rig it to crash into an appropriate building - Make sure you are no where near at the time."
"Need a distraction? Steal a chopper, fill it full of explosives and rig it to crash into an appropriate building - Make sure you are no where near at the time."
"Trideo kills the video Stars"
Oh man Syndicate and Syndicate Wars the PC games were both awesome. Were the games based off of a book or vice versa?
neither nor as far as i know, but what do i know?
No, there's no Syndicate book. The "Book of Cataclysm" is just the fictional Church of the New Epoch's Bible, and is quoted at the end of each of the church's briefing.
There we go. Anyways both sweet sweet tasty games.
That game was so Shadowrun.
That game was so Shadowrun.
QUOTE (de4dmeta1 @ Nov 16 2008, 10:54 AM)
This one co-opted from one of the group's GM's for my most recent character (who drives around in a stolen LS cruiser, wearing a dead cop's uniform) - also works for actual LS cops;
"Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law!:
"Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law!:
hahahahahahahahaha
*wipes away snot*
hahahahahahahahaha
Buddist with a combat shotgun...
"If I have to fire my gun, something, somewhere, has gone seriously wrong!"
"A Shaped Charge means less mess."
"A Shaped Charge means less mess."
"You run out of ideas the minute you run out of weapons and explosives"
This is a oldie but goodie. I laughed for days reading these quotes
Big Knobi Klub's "Overheard in the Shadows"
My favourites:
(>) If your opponent's battle cry is: "Die, Mortal !" don't stick around to see if he isn't.
(>) Serrin Shamandar, elven mage
(>) No, we're NOT surrounded -- we're in a target-rich environment.
(>) Fenris, former company "operative"
(>) The best way to a man's heart is through his chest.
(>) Ricochet Rita, razorgal
Big Knobi Klub's "Overheard in the Shadows"
My favourites:
(>) If your opponent's battle cry is: "Die, Mortal !" don't stick around to see if he isn't.
(>) Serrin Shamandar, elven mage
(>) No, we're NOT surrounded -- we're in a target-rich environment.
(>) Fenris, former company "operative"
(>) The best way to a man's heart is through his chest.
(>) Ricochet Rita, razorgal
To quote Q from The World is Not Enough;
"Listen 007, I've always tried to teach you two things. First never let them see you bleed."
"And the second?"
"Always have an escape plan."
-
To paraphrase Miracle Max from The Princess Bride;
"He's only mostly dead, if he was all dead there's only one thing you can do."
"What's that?"
"Go through his pockets and look for loose change."
-
You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, and when to spit hot lead.
When fighting monsters always take care to bring an effective weapon.
Know that when gazing into the abyss, someone may push you in.
Make sure you run out of targets before you run out of ammunition.
I love it when a plan comes together.
"Listen 007, I've always tried to teach you two things. First never let them see you bleed."
"And the second?"
"Always have an escape plan."
-
To paraphrase Miracle Max from The Princess Bride;
"He's only mostly dead, if he was all dead there's only one thing you can do."
"What's that?"
"Go through his pockets and look for loose change."
-
You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, and when to spit hot lead.
When fighting monsters always take care to bring an effective weapon.
Know that when gazing into the abyss, someone may push you in.
Make sure you run out of targets before you run out of ammunition.
I love it when a plan comes together.
QUOTE (Black Mamba @ Nov 13 2008, 10:41 PM)
This is "Old School" from SR1.
"Is that a Panther Cannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Is that a Panther Cannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
Classic.
And to quote one my players from long ago:
It's PANTHER CANNON TIME!
It's PANTHER CANNON TIME!
Meriss, your best bet these days would be ebay. The games haven't been sold in the shop for about 10 years now. Either that or try http://www.the-underdogs.info/game.php?gameid=1916 and http://www.the-underdogs.info/game.php?gameid=1917. Nothing there right now, but they should have the links sorted soon.
Some random contributions:
"OK, time for plan B"
"What's plan B?"
"Kill everyone."
"I like plan B. Why can't we just use plan B ever time?"
"A ganger learns never to bring a knife to a gunfight. A runner learns to always pack a rocket launcher, just in case."
And finally, some advice to GM's;
"Remember, any good runner can handle themselves in a firefight. Few runners have even the slightest clue what to do in a fire."
(It was amazing how quickly the players went from zero to "Oh shit we have a fully stocked chem lab in the basement")
Some random contributions:
"OK, time for plan B"
"What's plan B?"
"Kill everyone."
"I like plan B. Why can't we just use plan B ever time?"
"A ganger learns never to bring a knife to a gunfight. A runner learns to always pack a rocket launcher, just in case."
And finally, some advice to GM's;
"Remember, any good runner can handle themselves in a firefight. Few runners have even the slightest clue what to do in a fire."
(It was amazing how quickly the players went from zero to "Oh shit we have a fully stocked chem lab in the basement")
Hey all! (yeah, back again 
)
Kill it, don`t grill it. (to those who are using flamethrowers extensively)
Never come to a gunfight with a knife.
The only way to be sure someone is dead: take his head with you.
)Kill it, don`t grill it. (to those who are using flamethrowers extensively)
Never come to a gunfight with a knife.
The only way to be sure someone is dead: take his head with you.
"While murder is not always the answer, it probably should be."
"Shadowrun is the only game where getting a drink from a vending machine can legitimately involve an anti-tank rocket launcher."
"Shadowrun is the only game where getting a drink from a vending machine can legitimately involve an anti-tank rocket launcher."
I played a Nosferatu with the Carrier (ghoul) negative quality. We were on a 'run to kill the Prime Minister of India at a public relations conference, where he would be introduced by the UCAS President. We needed to make it look like an accident, and were sent with a second team. The second team's sponsor got our retinal scans as collateral before the run, and we roomed with the other team's memebers. My nosferatu roomed with the other team's leader, our sniper roomed with their sniper, and our gilette roomed with their gun-fu mistress.
If you didn't see it coming, we came to find out that the second team was going to hit the UCAS President, blame us, and give our retinal scans to the Star/Military. We found out, hacked the Sevret Services' TacNet, tipped them off and withdrew without being seen, ran interference on the other team (finding the other sniper, despite his Concealment Power and his Chameleon Suit with Thermal Damping), saved the President's life by a well timed sniper shot taking out a drone hurling at him at 120 meters/round, and still were able to frag the Prime Minister.
We also recorded the whole thing, including the other team's audio, as severely incriminating evidence.
When everything finally went south, my nosferatu mage turned off his foci, cleaned the astral signatures, and now finally to the quote:
Me (nosferatu Ghoul-carrier to GM): "I lick one of his (the leader of the other team's) spare shirts on my way out the door."
GM: "... Wha- Oh crap. Nice!" To the general sound of laughter and applause from my teammates.
If you didn't see it coming, we came to find out that the second team was going to hit the UCAS President, blame us, and give our retinal scans to the Star/Military. We found out, hacked the Sevret Services' TacNet, tipped them off and withdrew without being seen, ran interference on the other team (finding the other sniper, despite his Concealment Power and his Chameleon Suit with Thermal Damping), saved the President's life by a well timed sniper shot taking out a drone hurling at him at 120 meters/round, and still were able to frag the Prime Minister.
We also recorded the whole thing, including the other team's audio, as severely incriminating evidence.
When everything finally went south, my nosferatu mage turned off his foci, cleaned the astral signatures, and now finally to the quote:
Me (nosferatu Ghoul-carrier to GM): "I lick one of his (the leader of the other team's) spare shirts on my way out the door."
GM: "... Wha- Oh crap. Nice!" To the general sound of laughter and applause from my teammates.
QUOTE (Neraph @ Nov 20 2008, 12:01 PM)
I played a Nosferatu with the Carrier (ghoul) negative quality. We were on a 'run to kill the Prime Minister of India at a public relations conference, where he would be introduced by the UCAS President. We needed to make it look like an accident, and were sent with a second team. The second team's sponsor got our retinal scans as collateral before the run, and we roomed with the other team's memebers. My nosferatu roomed with the other team's leader, our sniper roomed with their sniper, and our gilette roomed with their gun-fu mistress.
If you didn't see it coming, we came to find out that the second team was going to hit the UCAS President, blame us, and give our retinal scans to the Star/Military. We found out, hacked the Sevret Services' TacNet, tipped them off and withdrew without being seen, ran interference on the other team (finding the other sniper, despite his Concealment Power and his Chameleon Suit with Thermal Damping), saved the President's life by a well timed sniper shot taking out a drone hurling at him at 120 meters/round, and still were able to frag the Prime Minister.
We also recorded the whole thing, including the other team's audio, as severely incriminating evidence.
When everything finally went south, my nosferatu mage turned off his foci, cleaned the astral signatures, and now finally to the quote:
Me (nosferatu Ghoul-carrier to GM): "I lick one of his (the leader of the other team's) spare shirts on my way out the door."
GM: "... Wha- Oh crap. Nice!" To the general sound of laughter and applause from my teammates.
If you didn't see it coming, we came to find out that the second team was going to hit the UCAS President, blame us, and give our retinal scans to the Star/Military. We found out, hacked the Sevret Services' TacNet, tipped them off and withdrew without being seen, ran interference on the other team (finding the other sniper, despite his Concealment Power and his Chameleon Suit with Thermal Damping), saved the President's life by a well timed sniper shot taking out a drone hurling at him at 120 meters/round, and still were able to frag the Prime Minister.
We also recorded the whole thing, including the other team's audio, as severely incriminating evidence.
When everything finally went south, my nosferatu mage turned off his foci, cleaned the astral signatures, and now finally to the quote:
Me (nosferatu Ghoul-carrier to GM): "I lick one of his (the leader of the other team's) spare shirts on my way out the door."
GM: "... Wha- Oh crap. Nice!" To the general sound of laughter and applause from my teammates.
This was coined by one of my players in regards to the future of porn.
"Dude have you seen two girls one data jack? That shit is crazy, you have to trid that, come on I'll show you where" *non-face mage and raunchy next door neighbor walk into other room and shut door*
Hacking gives a whole new meaning to the HACK and SLASH games out there
**Character loading a heavy machine gun**
"Bless mah bullets, Priest, 'cause Im gonna make somethin' holey!"
"Bless mah bullets, Priest, 'cause Im gonna make somethin' holey!"
"When you put enough speed holes in someone they go so fast it's like they aren't moving at all." - That one got quite a few laughs at our table.
"Nothing blows a hole in your plans like that damn troll with a panther cannon."
"Nothing blows a hole in your plans like that damn troll with a panther cannon."
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