Just a fun little thread to share all of your funniest moments in character or out of, with shadowrun. Because, let's face it, we can never have enough loling.


So, a friend's character took Spirit-bane, insects (because he didn't want to live to long, I guess.) Led to some funny moments with some of the not-too-bright insects.

(We are walking down the street in the Barrens.)
Random guy: "RAAAAAA, KILL YOU!"
Red: (Silently pulls out a gun and shoots him in the head, killing him.)
Me: "What was that about?"
Red: "Probably a merged insect spirit. They hate me."
Me: "Does that happen often?"
Red: "You get used to it. Oh, hey, the new Neil the Ork Barbarian Movie is comming out next month!"

funny moments

oh here is freesh one

i'm running the 1st part of the tempo story arch, and the PCs were hired to snatch a body from Docwagon. During legwork, the PCs learned of one of the dead body's contacts was a dealer, and the group's hand to hand expert decided to go find the guy, .....by himself.

he found the guy about the same time as a group of gangers there to kill the dealer. With acrobatic rolls & leaps, the martial arts guy grabs the dealer and pulls him into the stock room. From there, they ran out the back and down several alleyways until the hand to hand fighter was able to ambush the one ganger able to chasing and take him down.

not funny? yet??

the mechanic side: the player in question was rolling so bad that after burning several edges, changing dice, and borrowing dice from other players, he had another player roll for HIM just so he could survive the encounter

now that was funny

During my first campaign, my friend Mark's physad died after wrestling with a religious crisis. His second character (Van Illa) was more of a social adept, with facial sculpt and voice control.

Van is in a restaurant, getting to know the team and the way they work. He decided to show off his aptitude for disguise, and facial sculpts himself to look like the waiter. One of the team members makes a request for him to look like Jimmy Carter, leading to this:

Mark: Okay, I'd like to use facial sculpt to look like Jimmy Carter.
Teammate [interjecting]: Black Jimmy Carter!
Mark: What he said! [rolls very well]
Me: Nice, Mark. You look like black Jimmy Carter now.
Mark: Sweet! [checks character sheet] ... I don't have Melanin Control.
Me: Well then I guess you're black!

I had the PCs stuck in a house that the MouseCo. SWAT Team attacked with the help from a Lawn Spirit.

The helmets on the SWAT Team Members had Mouse Ears on them.

Another one from my longest-lasting SR game (in SR3)

Final run, we were breaking into an Aztech military base. We find the general of the base, and freeze-foam the crap out of him. We needed the launch codes for the base.

So our Tech Guru (who was NOT a decker, but had some craptastic Deck) pipes up.

Decker: "I hack his brain."
GM: "That doesn't work . . . you . . . you cannot use someone's datajack to hack into their brain."
Decker: "Watch me!"
(Decker proceeds to use good Karma for bonus dice, rolls a couple sixes. Then re rolls them for more sixes, and more. He eventually reaches target number 32 through pure, dumb luck.)
GM: (Moment of dumb silence.) I . . . I. . . . you hack his brain, and have the launch codes.


LATER ON
GM: You reach the doors for the control room, (turns to street sam) your enhanced hearing picks up on muted sounds from the other side.
Sam: Looks like they are prepared for us . . . . hmmmmm. I go into an adjoining office, and motion everyone to follow me.
GM: Okay . . . .
Sam: I use my Dikote-ed No-Dachi to cut a hole in the drywall, bust through, and surprise the ambushers.
GM: (Depressed) Don't bother rolling initiative . . . they don't stand a chance, you kill them all.
Me: Wow, man, I almost feel sorry for them.
GM: They were setting up claymore mines on the door.
Me: Those S.O.B.s got just what they deserved, trying to ambush us like that!!!!!!

So, there was an adventure I decided to run for my groups 2nd game back in 3rd edition. Adventure was One Stage Before. The PCs: A dwarf Rigger with boats, cars, and sea-copters, a Dwarf Mage with a power-focus in the form of an all metal warhammer, and an Elven sword adept.

So, at the "Ambush" portion of the adventure, the PCs decided to take their sea-copter to the meet. Needless to say, the ambush, which depended on the runners taking a land vehicle, failed horribly. Then, the final assault, the Elven adept had Friend for Life: Yakuza Oyabun, while the Dwarf had a Friend for life: Go Gang Boss..so, the final assault, they contacted their friends...and got them to help...

Of course, the most rediculous thing was the section where it was all supposed to be pitch black, but everyone had thermographic vision!

I have not run a pre-published adventure since, but, dang, it was funny!

I always remmber when we player "Mercurial" the GM had done a good job of showing her split personality to the point we were all ticked off at her. Then the Ork Mercinary in the team says "Ok we gotta keep her safe for 5 days, did anyone say anything about keeping were conscious?"

There was a very real look of fear on the GM's face as we discussed hitting her with a narco-jet and stuffing her ina closet for a few days.

OK. So this just happened a few hrs ago for our groups routine Sunday game. We were in the payaluup barrens trying to find a new safe house and encountered a gargantuan Toxic spirit of beast. It feared the sam/face, our hand 2 hand meat shield stood his ground and the rigger was unaffected. The hacker was out of range in the van for the first volley of fear power but not the second. Per reading the rules they will go to the nearest place of safety as quick as possible. Trying to play our jamacian Hot sim junkie when asked where would he go because the spirit was on top the van i answered full hot sim to my node which is a Caribbean beach and have a mojito. We thought it was hilarious and realistic for the character. "Another mojito MAAAAN, and there is no poison drooling beast outside the van."

In my group, there is a player who has lead a very sheltered life.
In our last campaign, his character went into a bar, the GM told him the bar was "The Blue Oyster" and even, when he stepped in gave The Song from said Blue Oyster, described the patrons, and the whole nine yards. It took the PLAYER about 45 minutes to realize what kind of bar the Blue Oyster was...and this was only after one of the other players took pity on him, and asked me to let him make a Streetwise test...(Note, it took his CHARACTER about 3 hours IC time...)

After this, he left the bar, and asked me what else was around, well...The GM mentioned several bunraku parlours, and the player asked me what Bunraku Parlours were...and, I, without thinking, responded with the OTHER name I have known for them: Meat Puppets. His response was "Oh..cool..that sounds interesting..." At this point, one of the other players took this player outside, for like 10, 15 minutes...when the players came back, I swear, this guy looked like he caught his parents doing it and they asked him to join in!

Note to self: I need to work on corrupting this player more! *wicked evil grin*

Me, a fat ass slob of a dwarf rigger, whom Is renoun for spending weeks at a time in my van wearing just tighty whities covered in cheesy puff orange stains, and the orc brothers I run with were stocking up on Bomb burritos, cheesy puffs, and an assortment of other trash at the local Stuffer Shack, on the verge of the Redmond Barrens. While walking out two Yak summoned ninja spirits materialized in front of the exit as I was walking out with arms loaded down with goodies. Our tank Orc standing next to me dropped his arm full of goodies as I litterally dropped a load in my tighty whities. Hey don't judge me, it was my first time not actually observing combat through a vid screen or sensors. I wobbled my ass into the van while the orc boyz went one on one with the spirits, later supported with reliable LEBDo and the mighty Vindicator. A few wet wipes later my rigger seat was cleaned and the streak in my pride wasn't too hurt, hey I'm a slob whats new! Playing video games one thing, seeing it in person is another. (grumble..grumble)

This happened last Friday. My group and I have been playing Shadowrun for maybe a month now, so I'm running them through the emergence campaign.

Their fixer has arranged a hookup with Mr Johnson in chinatown.

Me: "An incoming message from Umberto pings on your commlink; it's a picture of your Johnson"
Player: "... the hell kind of board have I been subscribing to and how drunk was I when they took that picture?"

this happen years ago....

the team was hired to steal a prototype bike. The group's ork rigger got hold of the bike, and sped it away as fast possible from the corp, hiding it. Soon enough, the group's gun bunny showed up. He asked where the bike was. The ork refused, saying to wait for the whole group. the gun bunny threaten to shoot the ork. The ork say "go ahead, then you won't find the bike."
so the gun bunny shot the ork rigger, killing the ork.

then in real life, the player got mad because the rigger player still won't tell where the bike was, and argued about for awhile

note: the location of the bike is still unknown

This is an event that happened when a new character came into our game. The last character of the player got killed, which is another story all on its own.

Anyways, Charade, the new character is picked up in front of the destroyed Pizza parlour. We introduce ourselves briefly and enter the pizza parlour. Sonya identifies herself as being the team leader and specializing in breaking things. After getting into the hidden elevator to the "batcave" we ask what is her specialty. She says it is charades and starts doing impersonations of the whole team, specifically my character.

The elevator doors open to Mr Johnson seeing one team member pistol whip Charade. It took us all a will roll in not killing her there. Sonya, my character, often talks about her as Cherry. The player has yet to figure out this is not a term of endearment.

Well, at least you broke your Cherry in front of Mr. Johnson.

...

I'm going to get hit for that one, aren't I?

No but I will dangle a wet latex glove covered in yogurt in front of you.

Remembering another funny one involving airports. This one involved a snuff using possession mage whose first act for meeting us was setting up a homeless guy as him by the water vending machine at the airport. After what can only be described as comedy gold where the possession mage jumps up from his seat next to us and starts berating the spirit for saying "all the wrong things." The next "kerfuffle" was the same mage trying to smuggle a spell focus (which the player had sunk most of his character development money into) onto a plane.

The GM aptly described it as "trying to smuggle a suitcase nuke in your hand luggage".

Awesome! You guys our hilarious please keep it up!

Yes, but in a fun way ^_^

I once made a heavy weapons specialist/demoman and had quite the run with him before a glorious sacrifice to save the rest of the team. Basically how it went was that we stopped Renraku from using the bio nodes of technomancers to create AIs. Angry at our act of good they launched an assault on our hidden base deep in the barrens with 3 squads of Red Samurai after we made it obvious one wouldn’t be enough. With the advanced life styles in the RC I had bought an emergency exit that they didn’t know about but before I could get through they blasted it with a grenade launcher. Stuck with 6 Sams, we had killed a few, and pretty much sure I was going to die I pulled out my trump card. One of my teeth was a remote detonator to blow up all the explosive stored in structurally important places throughout the house. Now before I blow the place up I had a bit of rp with the GM.

Me: Can I ask one question before you finish me off.
Red Sam: I am a man of honor; I will allow you one last word.
Me: How do the Japanese feel about cremation of their dead?
Red Sam: Why do you ask?
Me: Because they aint gonna find enough of your ass to bury.

Then I blew the house to kingdom come along with killing a couple of basic back up soldiers outside. Burning some edge I actually survived the explosion thanks to a beam falling on me and shielding me from some of the explosion but doing quite a bit of damage to my body. My team found me later by homing in on my comlink but I needed a ton of cyber. That character retired shortly after that event and become the mentor and contact of my next character

So I have a few players who are very paranoid out of character.

The hacker was running matrix defense over a hotel where the runners were protecting a very important VIP. The hacker used the battle of Verdun from WWI as his setting, depicting himself as a british soilder as the enemy hacker used the persona of a german soilder with a kaiser helmet.

The battle was one-sided from the beginning as the enemy hacker dropped a lot of nasty black IC on the PC. When the hacker emerged from Dumpshock I described the PC's apperance by stating that his nose was bleeding.

Byron (Who posts here): My ears are bleeding, my eyes are bleeding, and my nose is bleeding. Guys an enemy hacker has control over all of our defense systems and security cameras.

Other PC: CUT THE POWER!! CUT THE POWER!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The other incident came this Saturday when I accidently killed a PC with a streetline special. >_<

In our defense, the hacker was in better shape than the other two PCs, and the next wave of goons had just announceed their presence by breaching the perimeter with a rocket launcher.

I maintain that chasing the drunk, naked dwarf through the streets of Tacoma was funnier.

and once again, i provide more:
http://griffjon.com/sr2/

Just happened in the first run of a game I just ran yesterday. Two great funny moments, back to back.

Setup, our Ork Heavy Weapons dude has just cornered a suspected mad bomber. They are in the ork Underground. The Bomber drops his physical Mask Spell (He looked like an Ork, but was really a human) and bolts.

Funny Moment 1
Ork PC: "I take out my pistol, wave it around, and shout 'There goes the mad bomber!"
Me (GM): Okay, make a Charisma+Leadership roll.
Ork: (Rolls, 1 success, doesn't beat the threshold)
Me: The other Orks around see someone pull a gun, and shout something about a mad bomber, they go into a panic"
Ork (Sheepishly) I put my gun away . . .

Funny Moment 2
Almost immediately afterwords, our hacker hacks the guys Commlink.

Me: Okay, you got access, it wasn't hard, this guy's comlink is crap. What do you do.
Hacker PC: I have his commlink download every piece of malware on the matrix that I know of.
Bomber NPC (Who is still running from the Ork PC): NO NO NO! STUPID COMMLINK! "Call posse," not "Order Viagra!!!!"

We're in a fight outside a bar in the middle of Munich when a friggin Fire Elemental pops up and threatens us with flamey anger.
Our south african Orc Girl grumbles "Ich werd zum Tier!" (German: "I'will be an animal!", a phrase for utter annoyance with the situation)
The Wolf shapeshifter replies dryly: "Happens to me all the time, what's the fuss?"

When our American Bounty Hunter presented his cute Surge Claws to the group, the reaction of the Orcs brother was "Well whoopdef'ckin doo, Mister Sheffield is Catwoman!"

So here is another one.

The runners arrive in the contested zone between the California Free State and the Tir. They are in need of a vechicle to transport them around the area. They meet a fixer who offers them a pickup truck or a GMC Bulldog Step Van. The team lacks decision making.

PC: So what car?
Other PC: You choose.

*Bickering back and forth*

The Racist Face OOC: Well you can ask yourself this question. Would you rather be a redneck or a child molester?

There's no way Im going to do this justice:
The group is running through the Renraku Arc during the time of Deus occupation. It's been a marathon session of 'quietly sneak in, assess the situation, and escort a VIP out ' which has just gone completely sideways. It's about 5am and all the players are starting to lose their battles with sleep deprivation. One of the characters (a mage named mumbler) happens to be deaf and gets bored with the split debate of 'hiding inside a wall nook until the patrols stop looking for them' and 'let's just eat our own pistols because none of us are getting out of here alive' ; he decides to step out into the hallway. Immediately alarm klaxons begin to sound.
Now, everybody else freaks out,but not mumbler (whose player stays strictly in character) who continues to wander around the area. The rest of the team decide the jig is up and race out with him. In this method actor moment, he looks at the other players with this innocent look and in this badly done marlee matin impression just calmly states 'guess we're gonna move now huh?'
They go racing around,fighting off drones and guards and decide to run into a service shaft where they intend/hope to climb their way to freedom via this really long ladder. They start racing up as the firefight escalates and mumbler (again) suddenly remembers he has a bound spirit he's been using to offset drain and provide the occasional distraction with a single service left . He sends that down the ladder to delay their pursurers 'I want you to go down there and just drop the bomb on those &*^%$)$%.
Everyone's overjoyed as the spirit just starts unleashing hell and they see explosions and falling bodies...and it turns to horror when the wall/ladder starts to buckle under the stress of combat. Mumbler screams out (still in bad marlee matin voice) NOOOOOOOOO- YOURE OUT OF SERVICES MOTHER(%&$*(%)^ GO AWAYYYY!
and everyone just lost it. I don't even remember if they got out alive.

I ran a game where one of the runs had the players kidnapping the lead singer of a Troll Trash Metal Band. I can't remember what happened exactly but hilarity ensued.

It was funny for me...

So an NPC is walking the crew through the run so that they don't get lost. The run is a simple little rescue. The kid of a medium sized family business has been kidnapped by the Yakuza until they come around to the Yakuza's way of thinking. The runners are hired by the family to get the kid back, and just to make things easy for the new group, the family happens to know where they're holding the kid: The local Red Lion Inn. Simple yes?

One would think.

So they get to the hotel, the Rigger parks the van out front and watches the street. The rest of the team goes inside. That's when the trouble starts. One of the street sams, a former member of the Native American Nations military, marches right up to the desk in his camo pants, combat boots and armored leather jacket and asks for a room. The guy at the desk asks for some identification. Finding himself in a pickle, because he really didn't want a room in the first place, just an excuse to go upstairs, and he doesn't want to use his identification (no the newbie didn't have a fake SIN to use) he calmly pulls out his heavy pistol and blows the assistant night manager away and then is surprised to hear an alarm go off. He then notices the camera overlooking the desk.

Needless to say Lone Star was there on the double and in the ensuing gun battle this same street sam managed to ride his Harley in and out of the hotel lobby four times- over the broken glass from the lobby windows no less- leaving him surprised to discover his bikes tires to be thrashed. Two of the other team members fade into the background, the NPC gets pinned down and shot, and the remaining member manages to fire an entire clip of light pistol ammo into a yak soldier wearing an armored vest without scoring more than a light wound. He does eventually manage to dispatch the Yaks, get the kid and escape the crime scene. After being forced to abandon his bike the NA street sam manages to evade the fuzz and they all manage to meet up after the clusterf\/<k to finish the deal.

So the pay off is in a bus locker, and since certain members of the party have found their images on the nightly news it is decided to send the least trustworthy of the team to collect the swag. She goes and gets the cash (CFS dollars) from the bus locker and then calmly gets on a bus rather than bring the swag back to split with the rest of the team. Shortly afterwords the rest of the team catches on that they've been had and, predictably do something stupid.

Two of them get on their bikes with their SMGs and race after the first bus they see leaving the station. They it follow waving their SMGs at the bus driver while screaming at him to pull over- which he doesn't do. In a last ditch effort to force the bus to stop one of the geniuses fires his SMG at the right front tire of the bus while it's making a slopping right turn. The bus driver loses control, and the bus rolls right over both of them. They were lucky to survive it.

Oh, and the best part? She wasn't on that bus.

My players had the problem of getting from NYC to Hong Kong.

Gunslinger Adept wants to fly commercially.
The Rigger is not at all happy with this plan, as it means he can't bring his useful toys.
The Hacker decides to play the voice of reason.

Hacker: Omae... if we fly commercially, how do you plan on bringing your guns?
'slinger: Duh. In my luggage.
Rigger: You can't fill a suitcase with firearms and put them on a passanger jet.
'slinger: Of course I can!
Hacker: Um - they'll show up on x-ray...
'sligner: Oh. Then I'll just hide them in a sock. That should fool the X-ray.
Rigger: that's it! We need to buy a whole bunch of giant novelty socks for my dobermans!
Hacker: Uhuh. I am not getting on ANY kind of plane with you two.

Also: No amount of GM fudging/divine providence could have saved Maria Mercurial in our campaign. At least her albums ended up selling better.

This kind of thing gives me great memories of the CLUE Case Files.

My GM submitted one that our group had done right after the files were discontinued (or went on hiatus) so it never got printed. Here is how it worked:

In SR3
Our Tech guy (was basically a mechanic with a dash of drone rigger) had, under a previous run, stolen three forklifts. Don't ask.

So, our run is a scavanger hunt. We are sent to get very specific things from different people. One is a specific make and model of car. We track one such car down to 'Fred's used tractor and auto dealership.' Our tech guy comes up with the brilliant idea of trading in one of the forklifts for the car. We all agree that this would probably be okay.

So our techie drives the forklift DOWN I-5 to the dealership. Of course, a motorcycle cop pulls him over for going comically beneath the speed limit, obstructing traffic, and driving a street-illegal vehicle down the interstate. Cop asks for tech guy's SIN. Our Tech Guy, not wanted to mar his pristine fake SIN, does the logical thing. He shoots the cop in the head (with a shotgun) WHILE THE COP IS ON THE RADIO. After a pitiful attempt to pretend to be the cop, he learns that reinforcements are on the way. He steals the cop's motorcycle and makes a break for it.

So, cops, in their vastly faster copcar, catch up to our tech guy, and he, in order to escape pursuit, jumps the median. Now going AGAINST traffic, he causes several car crashes but manages to stay on the road. As cops approach him from another direction, he jumps the median again, fails his roll, and goes careening off an embankment. He spends some Karma, manages to survive (though hurt) and breaks into some lady's house. He uses her cyberterminal to call a contact, and has her call a Decker. He is forced to pay the Decker a total of 80,000 in order for him to deck into the Seattle police and erase all data pertaining to his involvement in the crime. His response:

"Hey, at least I got a decker contact out of the deal."


Meanwhile, I take the bus to the dealership, ask to drive the car around the parkinglot (to make sure it works wink wink) then knock out the salesman as soon as he hands me the keys and take off. I stash it in the barrens and pay one of my contacts to come to me and remove the lojack.

There have probably been many great moments in gaming for us though I cant remember all of them right now but one comes to mind after reading all this..


So I was playing in a game where we were meeting up with Mr Johnson and we had our mix of pc's to cover pretty much all the bases needed to pull this run off (hopefully).

Well the mage thought it would be funny during the meeting with Mr J to use magic fingers to unbutton the dress of the 19 yr old human technomancer....WRONG!

I don't remember how the technomancer saw the mage do it exactly but she was not happy (nether was the player) and went ahead and pulled out a silence pistol under the table and shot the mage in the leg doing some good damage. The rest of us probably wouldn't of known it happened if the mage didn't fall out of his chair swearing up a storm with his leg covered in blood. LOL

Needless to say the techomancer left (The player refused to play that character for that run any more) as for the mage I don't remember what happened to him.

Luckly our GM at the time was laid back because normaly I think the Mr J would of walked out at that point or had us killed but hey regardless it was funny... Also I dont think we had another run to play thru at the time so the GM let it slide as well but Mr Johnson didnt like us lol.

While I hate quoting the whole post jsut to say this:

This, sir, is why we need the C.L.U.E. Files back! That so IS ONE!

TPKs always make me laugh.

The Demo I ran as my first game, where the Troll Mobster and the Street Samurai argue over using the Dead Pimp's SUV to force the Dumptruck full of Gravel and Sand on a downwards grade into what could have been a new CrashCart Facility.

Two of my regular players and myself decided to try Shadowrun last night (we were supposed to play Mage: the Ascension, but most of the players couldn't show up and those who did wanted to try it before we finish the Mage campaign and actually start the Shadowrun one.) One player decided to play a Japanese Adept ninja (called Tetsuo 2, no less) and the other decided to play an ork poser, deepweed-addict street mage. I decided to run the scenario from the quickstart rules (Food Fight, I think?) to keep things simple, so the scene is a Stuffer Shack. I started with Tetsuo 2, who decided to buy himself some "soyshi" ( the term we came up with for soy sushi) before playing some of the simsense games. Then, the mage goes to the clerk, buys some rolling paper and asks me:

Mage: I wanna try a spell, how does it work?
Me: *explain the rules for casting a spell, then:* What spell do you wanna cast?
Mage: Improved Invisibility, Force 6! *rolls dice and gets a neat 8 hits out of 8 dice* Wow! I love this game!
Me: Okay, that was incredible! Now that you're invisible, what do you do?
Mage: I roll some deepweed.
Me: In the middle of a Stuffer Shack?
Mage: Sure, this place is way better than my squat! Heck, they even mopped the floor today!

I could see a lot of wonderful spells being used for that and worse purposes if your every day person developed magical talent.LOL

Food fight always brings out the funny!

...whiskey tango foxtrot?

I think, many a year ago, I did send a much better description to the C.L.U.E. Files about that run but that was just after she quit doing it. I wish I could remember the specifics of it better because the details of why he was driving in and out of the lobby repeatedly I remember being extremely funny, though I don't recall exactly why anymore.

Oh, boy, I have some good ones...

Catch and Release

So I was playing a Mystic Adept hacker for a game that also included an Ork Gun-Adept (with his favorite Ares Alpha), a Super-Human Sniper (vanilla-virgin), some sort of mage, and one or two other guys. We were trying to track down this insane hacker that was causing people's headcomms to overclock to the point where it started to cook their brains. After a lot of Tracking rolls, I finally track him down to an old library that has an out-dated but still functional cyberterminal. We get there and we see a kid sitting at the terminal (more of a desktop, really), punching keys when prompted by whatever is running on the screen.

The Ork Adept walks over and slaps the kid, almost dropping him, and we start yelling and interrogating him right there at the back of the library. He tells us some guy paid him to push buttons on the terminal when certain prompts came up. We end up knocking him out, tying him up, and shooting our way out of the library (a couple of security guards come over to us).

We (ork adept, the kid and me) file into my Honda Spirit. After some hacking and driving around to lose any tails we might have gained, I find out that the kid was telling the truth.

So now we kinda feel a little bad for beating a child up and shooting some people, and we want to make things right. But we can't just go put the kid back because the 'Star are there now.

Our solution? Drop him off at the local police department.

We roll up, the ork opens his door, and tosses the unconscious, zip-tied, bruised ten-year-old onto the sidewalk in front of the police department, then I race off like a bat out of hell.

GM: So you just throw him on the sidewalk in front of the police department?
Me: Yeah, he was too small.. It's like catch-and-release.

We laughed for a good few minutes.

I was wondering if someone would mention them...

- J.

Sounds like somebody's been playing Creepwoodrun...

My bad, it was a mystad.

Anyways, they were hired by a disaffected Lone Star employee who was sick of corruption in the DED. He was using them to locate and eventually root out the operations of a former partner who was facilitating drug shipments into Seattle. They found out that a mag-lev train was bringing a heavily guarded, unscheduled shipment into the city.

Xenotrope, [PC, amoral AI] decided to try and flip the brakes on the mag-lev. It had redundant systems, so he then just decided to shut off the mag-lev rail. In a flash, a 200 mile an hour bullet freight train derails and then plows into a small hamlet. Big clouds of dust and debris, broken houses, screaming, ect.

Mark's PC was an intensely religious fellow (donated nuyen to orphanages and when asked who his mentor spirit was, he replied "Jesus") and he was torn between helping the souls in the destruction and running away. He decided to retreat with the team, but before that grabbed one of the vials in the special drug shipment and jammed it into his veins (later he told me his character was attempting suicide). That suicide attempt attracted a shade, which made Mark's PC twist the words of the Bible for its own uses, and one thing leads to another...

Mark's character was eventually taken by Tamanous (and with his permission, NPCed by me). Tamanous was producing a magically active combat drug in conjunction with the Ghost Cartels, and it required fresh, live brain matter. The team runs into Mark's character in a facility in the middle of the brain matter extraction, and he asks Mucha, the team troll to kill him. It sounds morbid, but Mucha was an artist and intensely fascinated with the creation and destruction involved in violence; he also had a simmering hatred of Mark after Mark's character insulted his intelligence based on race.* Mark's character gives Mucha a piece of art, and in the process attempts to use his death to redeem himself a bit.

* Mark's characters all have a house rule applied to them; whatever he says during the session, his characters say. The feud between Mucha and Mark grew out of a mid game discussion of racial attributes (are trolls really dumber than humans, ect.) At the table, it was being discussed. In game, Mark was insulting Mucha's intelligence while planting a combat axe into a Doberman as they performed an extraction from a penthouse.

I hope this is sufficiently relevant.

I was recently in a game of Mouse Guard (think Redwall) where we were trying to figure out how to extract a snapping turtle from a town without allowing it to crush any buildings or eat any mice.

We went around the table, making suggestions.

P1: Let's round up the villagers and charge!
P2: Let's light a fire under it!
Me: Atropine poisoning.
GM: Atropine?
Me: Yeah - beladonna. I've got survivalist 3 and poison use 2 - there's no way I wouldn't know about it, and it's appropriate for the climate.
GM: How are you going to poison it?
Me: Get the berries, boil them down, and pour the mixture into the freshest corpse we can find. Then we stand on top of the nearest building and dangle it in front of the turtle with a rope.
Everyone else: ......

By the end of the game I'd already come up with a design for a technologically appropriate flamethrower, figured out how the GM's foolish delcaration of real-world physics resulted in near immunity to falling damage (a mouse can fall a distance proportionally equivalent to 200' for us without harm) could be used for offensive advantage, and murdered someone in their bed. (Of course, the GM had given me "old enemy, ""vindictive," and "skilled liar" on my pregenerated character sheet - so what was I to do?)

So, this is what happened in what I remember to be the first game of Shadowrun that I played. It was 500BP generation because my group enjoys a good powergame.

I was some sort of hacker at the time, there was some Troll damage sponge adept, a demolitions expert, and an infiltration expert. We were supposed to go into the penthouse of an apartment-like building and steal some fancy crystal thing out of some damned safe while the occupants were out of town.

So, I hacked in a maintenance appointment so that we had an excuse to enter the building and poke around its systems. So I hid some area jammers in the lobby, the demo-man wired explosives in critical locations (in case the stuff hit the fan), and I had some hardline entrances into the local network.

Everything is going off without a hitch until the infiltrator fails to get the safe open. Our backup plan is to use explosives to blow the whole thing out (it's a wall safe) and lower it by rope down stairs. At that point, the Troll standing around looking like a mechanic in the lobby decides that the explosion will be loud, so it is time for him to leave.

He looks at the secretary and says "I'm gonna go get some tools." The GM has him roll con, and he critical glitches. As a result, the secretary calls the star, and being distracted by other security systems, I didn't quite manage to intercept the call. So, the star was on it's way and were in all kinds of trouble because we had left our fingerprints all over the job.

In order to defuse this, we assessed that the situation had fallen from a code A to a code D (for demolitions). So, we blew the safe, chucked it and the infiltrator out the window, and were "safely" lowered into the van. In order to cause a big distraction for our getaway, I send the codes to blow the entire building, and we drove off.

Some quiet burglary.

remember it takes all kinds....

years on a run that most details escape me (& I wrote the mision), the team was hired to go to Azlan. Well, the team decided to fly commerical..

the team's gun bunny decided to bring his sniper rifle hidden in his suitcase. through customs...

i am not sure if the player ever figured out why the guards took a tissue sample and planted a tracking device in him

but the other players did real fast

In one of my latest sessions, our group was hired to kidnap a starlet. We weren't suppose to hurt her, and afraid that a burst from an Uzi loaded with gel rounds might overflow her stun and actually kill her, our hacker purchased a taser and handed it off to our street sam troll.

So we plan the run, get into the apartment no problem. Take out the guard at the door, move into the apartment, street sam takes out the mage as he yells to everyone that he are attacking. I (a rigger) take out two guards with my shotgun (using edge to get the second guy). After a little trouble with their street sam, who nearly killed me and our mage. We are finally left with nobody standing.

We start searching the apartment (still doing combat rounds to keep the suspense that guys might be hiding). Finally the troll finds the starlet hiding under her bed. At which point he takes aim with the taser and shoots her. Imagining this just makes me laugh to no end. A troll, whose arm is probably about 4 feet long, looks under a bed maybe 6' wide. I can just see him pulling the covers up, slowing reaching out the taser, holding it inches from her face, and shooting her.

Another one for the CLUE files. . . except we actually pulled it off.

So, we are hired to kidnap a corp scientist. She lives in a AAA neighborhood outside of the corp compound, but everyday walks two blocks to the Subway station where she boards a special Tram that goes directly into the Megacorp archology. Our team was tossing around ideas, considering breaking in, when our mage pipes up. "Hey, I have a Ph.D in chemistry and Magical theory, and I can be pretty charming, why don't I quote unquote bump into her on the subway platform and invite her out to dinner?" We all agree this is a GREAT plan.

Then our Street Ninja pipes up with something that sums up our group's feelings perfectly: "No way, that plan is WAY too pansy!"

Instead, we rig four cars for remote control, load them with auto-destructs, missles, vehicle caltrops, and ablative armor, and then steal an SUV. We drive in, kidnap her as she is going to work, have a running firefight with LoneStar, and beat it from Bellvue, through downtown, into the Barrens, where the smog cover prevents satalitte tracking. During our run we down 4 police cars, 3 Citymasters, and two helicopters before Lone Star pulls back, and realizes that reinforcements from Fort Lewis can't get to us in time. BEST RUN EVER.