" I've never been hit by lethal round"

Then my PC was peppered by Gel rounds and knocked out by the gel rounds.

some player said this in one of the games I am currently playing...

"if you can not be stealthy, be crazy..."

dx

"Well, it's the weakest of these "Great Dragon" things. We've killed dozens of 'em D&D; how hard could it be to take it on"

"Wait here until I get back"

Nothing ever works out after those words are uttered.

"Get down here you foul smelling, overgrown wyrven-copulating lizard!"

Actually said. Cannot be ruled suicide -- the character survived. Could be ruled "attempted suicide". Did succeed in ticking off the dragon... even got him to pay attention to the swordsman mostly. Just didn't drive him beyond remembering that he can cast spells.

"Your mother was a komodo and your father smelt of elderberries!"

That might've worked. ^_^

Lofwyr was laughing? (He's been hiding in my character's head) All of these were directed at Alamais. That was the set that Alamais didn't tune out.

I mean.. you can't use the parentage and such... you'd have to spend half your time appeasing the dragon inside your head...


Really.. it almost worked. It's just that he had 2 sets of flame and one powerbolt directed at him, as well as the melee.

"Lemme roll my Demolition skill <dice clatter> ....shit...."

A classic

"Who farted?!" as a ghoul snuck up behind him.

"That's odd... what are all of those little red dotts doing on the back of your head?" my npc asked the pc at night in an alleyway before ambushed by Fuchi.

"Haha you idiots!!! I still have another!! ... Pc yelled as his left arm was taken of by a panther cannon.

"Here kitty, kitty... What the hells your problem Cork Screw?!!", turns to face him, "Its just a stupid cat!" Said right before getting mualed by the taliscat.

"What happens if I fart on your Fire Elemental?"

The one I always wait for from new players...

"I Wish..."

Tis how deals with the devil begin...

"What do I roll to see what I roll"

" no problem, my vindicator has EX ammo"

later

"wadda you mean the fire elemental is engulfing me!?"

Had an NPC who just happened to be standing next to a PC roll a critical glitch while trying to throw a grenade. The Lone Star officer stopped firing at the group and yelled, "It's not pull the grenade and throw the pin retard!". Gues that is more lines you don't want to hear rather than not say.

What could go wrong?

I have this countless times before.

Come with me if you want live.

I am not in it for the money I am in for th thrills

Nice Lone Star cop.

oh a Classic.

The Scene a sports bar, the player in question retarded and the quote.

"The Seattle screamers blow donkey goat"


**insert beatings now**

"If Mr. Johnson said it, then it must be true!!" a pc on his first run. Actually it was his first time playing SR.

" What do you get when you cross a whore with a devil rat? Yo momma, hahahaha!!" had a pc say this to the mob Don he ran into while on a run.

"If he dies can I eat him?" a ghoul pc asked this question about fallen comrade while on a run. As the team did not know he was a ghoul, the question did not go over to good with the rest of the team.

this actually happened in game:
Me: I hit the elemental with a spirit blast Maximum force deadly

GM: the fire elemental shrugs off the spirit blast, materializes, and engulfs you.

Me: Drek

Rigger: How many white phosforus grenades have you picked up?

me: Oh Drek!

Sam: How many bodies are surrounding you with grenades on their harnesses?

me: Frag

GM: do you want me to roll object resistance?

Me: why bother, i'm gonna blow anyway, might as well take something with me. I pull the pins on all my grenades.

GM: the rest of you notice DW wave farewell then mumble something about Goreman being an a$$h0le before he blows up. The spreading fire makes the 30 bodies around him also erupt white phosforus going everywhere. Hooper-Nelson?

Me: Nah, i just wanted to go out with a bang.

This is when you invoke the Hand of God rule.

Did the resulting explosion at least take out the elemental? That's an awfully high power rating, even for immunity.

Tisoz--
Hooper Nelson Optional Rule:
SR3, p.248 Effectively you permanently burn karma to lower your TN. The TN should start above 12 and cannot be lowered below 8.

It's my character, a mage, Tom Ace. I'm *cough* 'filling in' for a guard at the facility my team needs to hit. Liberal use of the Mask spell and the previous guard's uniform. So, there's my character, standing guard on one side of a door, and then an actual guard on the other side of the door. We're making idle conversation. It's important to note that the GM let me make a spell 'create cookie'.

Guard: "... wow, I'm hungry."

Me, the supposedly mundane guard, summons up a cookie right in my hand.

Me: "Oh, hey, want a cookie?"

Me: "Uh, why are you looking at me funny? It's just a cookie."

Minus ten points for not thinking.

Nuclear Chocolate Chip Cookies.

If you make it with detect teeth, it will go off as soon as the person tried to eat it.

After sneaking up to a troll - "Excuse me mister troll, but is that gel rounds in your Panther Assault Cannon?"

"Yes, Officer, what seems to be the problem?"

{PC walks up to a loud-mouthed braggard Troll in a bar & taps him on the arm}: "Excuse me, you're in my favorite spot."

"What? He was in the way." "No, you ask someone to step aside....you don't shoot them. Especially with an anti-tank round." "Why not?"

"Whad'yamean, *I* brought the ammo? *YOU* brought the ammo!"

{during a firefight between corp-sec's & the PCs, the nieve Elven Mage says this}: "Uh, excuse me?" (more shooting) "Excuse me?" {more shooting} "EXCUSE ME!" {shooting stops} "Could you nice gentlemen with the security forces mind not firing while we escape? We need to be somewhere else right now."

At least his manners are impeccable.

"Dont shoot at the guy who is reloading! It is against the rules!!!"

Everyone knows all runners are consummate professionals with the gunslinger flaw, right?

A personal favorite of mine, "I have a chem skill of 1, I am going to try and make phosgene gas and pump it through the air ducts." (actually happened in game, and it worked well enough to disrupt a nasty ritual, stupid Hand of God)

In my recent game as GM:

"What would we need contacts for???"



/

The worlds worst line to hear...........................
Hey Watch This............
Mass Mayhem ensues.

From Jeff Foxworthy You might be a redneck.

Let's take the elevator!