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JongWK
A BTL feed that makes you see the entirety of The Simple Life in a matter of minutes. If you're really cruel, switch the show to an Argentinean soap opera.

Your turn. nyahnyah.gif
Snow_Fox
you are locked in a small room with a politcal radical, you are only let out when you get them to admitt their is any flaw in their logic.
bclements
Are they like Mexican telenovellas? If so, that's some rough stuff.
HMHVV Hunter
Hmmm...

I can't think of one on my own right now, but I'll put one ingenious one I remember reading from a White Wolf games quotes page (it was originally a Harrowing in "Wraith: The Oblivion"):

"Imagine you're in the sweetest car ever made. Bright candy-apple red, turbo-powered, sleek-looking. Imagine there's a straightaway in front of you, extending as far as the eye can see. No stop lights or stop signs, no cops. Now imagine there's speed bumps placed on the road, ever two feet or so, for the entire straightaway. Think about that for a half hour till I get back."

Make a simsense feed of that, and it could be good.
Ancient History
BTL loop of having sex...but never being able to achieve orgasm.
HMHVV Hunter
QUOTE (Ancient History)
BTL loop of having sex...but never being able to achieve orgasm.

Instead of "Black Death" - "Blue Balls!"

nyahnyah.gif
SL James
QUOTE (Snow_Fox)
you are locked in a small room with a politcal radical, you are only let out when you get them to admitt their is any flaw in their logic.

I take it that killing them isn't an option. Save you, them and the world a lot of trouble.
JongWK
QUOTE (bclements)
Are they like Mexican telenovellas? If so, that's some rough stuff.

See, the Brazilians are masters of the telenovelas. They're the best in Latin America, hands down, and comparable to some of the (good) stuff coming out of North America and Europe.

Then you have Colombian shows, which are gaining a reputation for growing out of the cliche and (gasp!) breaking the mold with mature themes.

Then you have Mexico and Venezuela, which produce slick, brainless shows with the most stupid plots you can imagine. The worst racial and class biases are constantly displayed. They do know how to make them look shiny and pretty, though.

And then, far below them, you have Argentinean TV. Oh, there are a few good TV shows (get CQC - Caiga Quien Caiga, which was doing what Jon Stewart does years ago), but 99% of the soap operas are Mexican and Venezuelan wannabes. Every time you see more than 15 seconds of them, a little part of your soul shrivels and dies.
hyzmarca
Find the original versions of every movie from MST3K (with out the robot) and put them all into a single into a 10-second BTL. Loop for several hours.
James McMurray
MST3K?
ChuckRozool
QUOTE (JongWK)
QUOTE (bclements @ Apr 19 2006, 11:59 PM)
Are they like Mexican telenovellas? If so, that's some rough stuff.

See, the Brazilians are masters of the telenovelas. They're the best in Latin America, hands down, and comparable to some of the (good) stuff coming out of North America and Europe.

Then you have Colombian shows, which are gaining a reputation for growing out of the cliche and (gasp!) breaking the mold with mature themes.

Then you have Mexico and Venezuela, which produce slick, brainless shows with the most stupid plots you can imagine. The worst racial and class biases are constantly displayed. They do know how to make them look shiny and pretty, though.

And then, far below them, you have Argentinean TV. Oh, there are a few good TV shows (get CQC - Caiga Quien Caiga, which was doing what Jon Stewart does years ago), but 99% of the soap operas are Mexican and Venezuelan wannabes. Every time you see more than 15 seconds of them, a little part of your soul shrivels and dies.

Yeah, but da girlies on those telenovelas are hawt. I'd watch'em just for the girls. Hell i'd watch most of the latin shows for the girls...

Anywho
HMHVV Hunter
QUOTE (James McMurray)
MST3K?

Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Awesome show that used to run first on Comedy Central, then the Sci-Fi Channel. The plot consisted of an average joe kinda guy and two robots being forced to watch TERRIBLE movies (like "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" and "Prince of Space") by a psycho woman. To keep their sanity, the two robots and the guy offered some hilarious commentary, usually on how shitty the movies were.
hyzmarca
QUOTE (James McMurray)
MST3K?

It isn't human!!! Kill it with fire.


QUOTE (Love Theme of MST3k)

In the not-too-distant future-
Next Sunday A.D.-
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot roll-call-
Cambot
Servo
Gypsy
Crow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000."


To elaborate, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a show about a guy is is traped on a space station called The Satellite of Love against his will and forced to watch some of the worst movies ever made as part of an experminent to determine how much bad cinema a human mind can withstand before going stark raving bonkers. In order to help preserve his sanity he created a number of sentient AI robots as companions but cannot control when the movies begin or end. He and two of his robot pals try to make lemonade out of lemons by making fun of the movies they watch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MST3K

It has 198 episodes. Imagine being forced to watch 198 of the worst movies ever made (Including Manos: The Hand of Fate) and take them seriously. And since this BLT lasts 10 second real time it has 6 loops a minute and 360 loops per hour. 71280 screenings of the worst movies ever made without a break. That'll destroy anyone.
SL James
QUOTE (ChuckRozool)
Yeah, but da girlies on those telenovelas are hawt.[/color] I'd watch'em just for the girls. Hell i'd watch most of the latin shows for the girls...[/color]

You don't already?
ChuckRozool
frown.gif
No, i gets outa work around 2 in da mowning. nothing on cept Adult Swim, some crap on Sci-Fi or G4, or infomercials. By the time i wakes up i needs to pick up me girls from school and all they wanna watch is disney, annie, or elmo.
James McMurray
I've seen it, just didn't recognize it in acronym form. Well, I've seen half of one episode. That show on repeat could definitely be classified as torture.
SL James
QUOTE (ChuckRozool @ Apr 19 2006, 11:11 PM)
frown.gif
No, i gets outa work around 2 in da mowning. nothing on cept Adult Swim, some crap on Sci-Fi or G4, or infomercials. By the time i wakes up i needs to pick up me girls from school and all they wanna watch is disney, annie, or elmo.

...

At least you can watch World Cup games on Telemundo or Univision live this summer.

BTW, if you get a chance, I suggest watching Rebelde. It's like The OC, only with better stories. Plus it's on every day instead of weekly. It is, to be blunt, the shit.

I mean, seriously. How can you not watch this cast every afternoon?
Kremlin KOA
get target's daughter ( this one required target to have 2 daughters)

Rape girl to death.... correction have someone who will enjoy it rape girl to death, while connected to Full-X Simrig

eek.gif

Clean up BTL recording, and enhance enjoyment and addiction sections

Use on target, repeat until completely desensitized, until all moral compunctions about raping daughter to death are gone and only the joy of it remains.

Let target loose in room with other daughter.

Let wifey catch them just as girl dies.

SL James
And then?
The ubbergeek
Isn't it supposed to be darkly funny? There is nothing funny (to say the least) about rape. Not at all.
Daddy's Little Ninja
I agree. buzz kill.


To come back. be starved for two days. then have the ingredients for all your favoirte meals laid out before you, and told they will be cooked. correctly, by a naked lepper.
PH3NOmenon
QUOTE (The ubbergeek)
Isn't it supposed to be darkly funny? There is nothing funny (to say the least) about rape. Not at all.

unless it's a clown...


I'm sorry, that was in poor taste.
Ophis
hell yeah, clowns arn't funny, they just freakish and wrong.
Kremlin KOA
QUOTE (Ophis)
hell yeah, clowns arn't funny, they just freakish and wrong.

Hey.
My ex told me that going down on a clown tasted funny

and no the thread said for dark humor OR torture

was working out ways to make somebody suffer, and that was the 7th worst I could come up with
stevebugge
Have the poor unfortunate interrogated by someone with an Alex Trebeck personafix.
hyzmarca
QUOTE (The ubbergeek)
Isn't it supposed to be darkly funny? There is nothing funny (to say the least) about rape. Not at all.

Bubba the Love Troll disagrees. It isn't easy but it can be funny.
HMHVV Hunter
QUOTE (stevebugge)
Have the poor unfortunate interrogated by someone with an Alex Trebeck personafix.

hahahahahaa

I can see it now:

*BBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT*

"Now, tell me what I want to know - the name of your team's leader and where I can find him!"
"FINE FINE! It's Scorpion! He goes to Club Penumbra a lot!"

*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT*

"I'm sorry, that should have been 'WHAT IS Scorpion' and 'WHAT IS Club Penumbra.'"

nyahnyah.gif
Platinum
QUOTE (hyzmarca)
QUOTE (The ubbergeek @ Apr 20 2006, 07:24 AM)
Isn't it supposed to be darkly funny? There is nothing funny (to say the least) about rape. Not at all.

Bubba the Love Troll disagrees. It isn't easy but it can be funny.

Still not funny. How many people do you know who have been raped?

You know what would be funny ... someone pouring acid all over you till you are nothing but a bubbling puddle.
Kremlin KOA
I've been raped
FanGirl
I doubt that: had you really been raped, you wouldn't want to discuss something so private on a public forum.
Kremlin KOA
really?
want the full story over PM?
I can talk about it these days, but being called a Liar for admitting it is half the reason it took me so long to speak, and probably a goot part of the reason why so many people never speak

Congratsgirl, you are now officially part of the problem
Daddy's Little Ninja
Both of you play nice. NOW!

This thread was set up for humor. Even if you've been lucky enough to put the details of a rape behind you and get on with your life, i think we can agree it is not a humorus topic!

So please take that to pm's and out of here, m'kay?
FanGirl
. . .Well, I officially feel shitty.

It's just so easy for people to throw out lies just to get attention on the Internet, and I thought that that's what you were doing. I'm not offering that up as an excuse for what I wrote--it was inexcusable--but rather as a simple explanation. I'm so sorry. I'll slink away now . . . .
Kremlin KOA
QUOTE (Daddy's Little Ninja)
Both of you play nice. NOW!

This thread was set up for humor. Even if you've been lucky enough to put the details of a rape behind you and get on with your life, i think we can agree it is not a humorus topic!

So please take that to pm's and out of here, m'kay?

my apologies
I was under the impression that the thread was about coming up with really nasty tortures, not funny ones

you want a funny torture

implant a low rating P-Fix chip into the subjectthat causes mild paranoia about anyone the subject naturally trusts.

That one makes a slow slide to madness that will cause all sorts of incidental comedy on the way
James McMurray
As an on-again off-again sufferer of acute paranoia I can assure you that there is nothing funny about it.

Just kidding. wink.gif

----

Kill a loved one while they're watching, and let them see you turn them into food (jerky lasts a while, but something more palatable might be doable). Then lock them away with no food and let them decide just how hungry they are after a few days.
SL James
QUOTE (FanGirl)
. . .Well, I officially feel shitty.

It's just so easy for people to throw out lies just to get attention on the Internet, and I thought that that's what you were doing. I'm not offering that up as an excuse for what I wrote--it was inexcusable--but rather as a simple explanation. I'm so sorry. I'll slink away now . . . .

hahaha

For someone whose first posts to DS were incredibly defensive in assuming that from that start you'd be called a liar because you're a girl gamer, that's just... Holy shit. That's just embarassingly hypocritical.
nezumi
Maybe we should put the bananaphone link here? That would be interesting...
mfb
you are a monster.
Calvin Hobbes
James, just lay off, she admitted she was wrong to do what she did.

BANANAPHONE- http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/166521
Paul
QUOTE (Snow_Fox)
you are locked in a small room with a politcal radical, you are only let out when you get them to admitt their is any flaw in their logic.

So with you?
Wounded Ronin
Well, I just read an Economist article that touched on some of the torture that took place in Sierra Leone. It was truly horrific torture and yet it often had a certain sadistic humor to it. I guess that's what happens when you introduce child soldiers into a conflict. They get mentally broken but don't really have any mental-maturity related stops on what they do to others.

The article mentioned the following things:

1.) Cutting open pregnant women after making bets on the gender of the foetus.

Really horrible but you can sort of see how a twisted individual would see humor in this.

2.) Mutilating a son, cutting out his heart, and shoving it in his grandmother's mouth.

Same deal.

3.) Closing mouths with padlocks through flesh and sewing vaginas shut with fishing line.

I'm not sure whether the practice of doing this or whether the movies invented this first because I remember seeing a few movies and internet porn fics that dealt with things like stapling shut body parts. Regardless, once again you can see how a really sick person could derive humor from this.

I could actually see something like this go down in a campaign. If a PC were to get captured maybe his or her captors decide to punch a hole through the upper lip, tongue, and lower lip, and then lock a padlock through all three. That would give the equivalent of a L wound but if the PC took any hits to the mouth the tongue would be severed for another L or M wound. (Maybe M if there's a lot of blood loss.)

Then you could have a mini rescue arc where the character has to do a bunch of things to help the team spring him/her while having this padlock danging in the mouth. Pretty psychological, I think.
SL James
QUOTE (Calvin Hobbes @ Apr 20 2006, 04:05 PM)
James, just lay off, she admitted she was wrong to do what she did.

But then how am I supposed to haunt her soul?

Wounded Ronin, Did that article mention at all whether they were completely random, or if they might in some way be related to any tribal or other religious/cultural traditions, myths or... whatever? Your post was slightly unclear on that.

BTW, tongues bleed a lot when you split them open (for those of you unlucky enough not to see someone get theirs forked), but an M wound? No way. OTOH, if you're running for your life, the choice between leaving a blood trail, carrying a cup or something under your bleeding mouth, and swallowing your own blood - go for the latter. It's gross, sickening even, but it beats the alternative.

BTW, I totally agree with cutting open the mothers. If your intent is to destroy the enemy, killing their children and the fetuses of pregnant women is a pretty good start.

Edited because a sentence said the opposite of what I meant it to say.
Wounded Ronin
QUOTE (SL James)

Wounded Ronin, Did that article mention at all whether they were completely random, or if they might in some way be related to any tribal or other religious/cultural traditions, myths or... whatever? Your post was slightly unclear on that.

Actually I don't fully recall. I just skimmed the article this morning. However, seeing as how Sierra Leone has had a really long history of civil war I'm sure that a quick google on "Sierra Leone" and "conflict" would probably have all the answers.

QUOTE


BTW, tongues bleed a lot when you split them open (for those of you unlucky enough to see someone get theirs forked), but an M wound? No way. OTOH, if you're running for your life, the choice between leaving a blood trail, carrying a cup or something under your bleeding mouth, and swallowing your own blood - go for the latter. It's gross, sickening even, but it beats the alternative.

BTW, I totally agree with cutting open the mothers. If your intent is to destroy the enemy, killing their children and the fetuses of pregnant women is a pretty good start.


OK, L wound then.
Kagetenshi
QUOTE (SL James)
OTOH, if you're running for your life, the choice between leaving a blood trail, carrying a cup or something under your bleeding mouth, and swallowing your own blood - go for the latter. It's gross, sickening even, but it beats the alternative.

Eh, not necessarily—there's a pretty strong vomit reflex tied to large amounts of blood in the stomach. Aside from being painful and unsanitary, that'll also partly immobilize you briefly and leave a big "I was here" sign.

Then you get to start all over again. I'd choose the cup.

~J
SL James
True. But I'm wondering what you do with a cup full of blood while you're being chased through west Africa.

*shrugs*
Trax
Considering it's that time of year, force them to do their taxes without any mechanical aid.
hyzmarca
Just split the difference and shove a towel into your mouth.

emo samurai
QUOTE
But then how am I supposed to haunt her soul?

You could kill yourself and wander the world as a ghost. Wait, that would just make you dead. You should do that anyway.
mfb
that was a burn.
emo samurai
Indeed it was; perhaps even n-th degree.
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