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Denicalis
QUOTE (Meriss)
QUOTE (Denicalis @ Apr 10 2007, 11:21 PM)
625.  ...no, you also can't play a human aspected magician named Guybrush Threepwood, especially because of your desire to have a familiar manifested as a skull named 'Murray.'

Hey I know him! He's on another forum! (JK) (although I do know a guy on another forum I post on he uses Threepwood as a name)

Yes, he fights like a cow.
nezumi
How appropriate, you fight like a dairy.. Oh um.. Never mind.
Kyoto Kid
...aerial bovine bombardment.

When there is no other option.
cristomeyers
Ares Macrotechnology's Orbital Bovine Bombardment system: providing you with the easiest ways to kill PCs since 1989
Kyoto Kid
...but wouldn't they burn up on re-entry?
Darkest Angel
They're bug spirit infested cows, and therefore have immunity to such damage. That is why Ares are so interested in bugs.
Kyoto Kid
...I was thinking more along the lines of OBDS (Orbital Bovine Discarding Sabot), where the sabot is made of thermal shielding ceramic.

However, the concept of cows exceeding Mach 1 is somewhat disturbing.
Denicalis
QUOTE (Kyoto Kid)
...aerial bovine bombardment.

When there is no other option.

We'll have to launch into space and bovine them from orbit.


...It's the only way to be sure.
cristomeyers
QUOTE (Kyoto Kid)
...but wouldn't they burn up on re-entry?

Look at it this way, not only do you obiliterate your enemy, but you get to have a BBQ afterwords!
Kyoto Kid
...so then that would be an OBBMDS. (Orbital Bovine BBQ Marinade Discarding Sabot)

QUOTE (Denicalis)
We'll have to launch into space and bovine them from orbit.

...Allis Chalmers Corp. Milwaukee Wisconsin - Leaders in Bovine orbital lift systems development for over 30 years.

--We put the cow over the moon™"
bibliophile20
641. Yes, your adept with missile mastery may have a cutlery/kitchen store as a front company.
642. ...however, he is forbidden from saying "It slices, it dices...!" in any part of his adept centering technique.
PBTHHHHT
QUOTE (bibliophile20 @ Apr 17 2007, 06:16 PM)
341.  Yes, your adept with missile mastery may have a cutlery/kitchen store as a front company.
342.  ...however, he is forbidden from saying "It slices, it dices...!" in any part of his adept centering technique.

edit: 343: ...And no, he can't be a former SEAL/special forces/hitman who's now hiding as a cook hidden on a naval ship.
bibliophile20
QUOTE (PBTHHHHT)
343: ...And no, he can't be a former SEAL/special forces/hitman who's now hiding as a cook.

Why a cook? He owns a kitchen store, not a restaurant.
PBTHHHHT
bad reference to the Steven Seagal movie, Under Siege. It's the cook! Oh, never mind.
tisoz
QUOTE (bibliophile20 @ Apr 17 2007, 10:14 PM)
QUOTE (PBTHHHHT @ Apr 17 2007, 09:50 PM)
343: ...And no, he can't be a former SEAL/special forces/hitman who's now hiding as a cook.

Why a cook? He owns a kitchen store, not a restaurant.

An Under Siege reference. [edit] too slow or too much extraneous topic [/edit]

Funny how a misnumbering (typo) in a former post got taken as the current chronology.
PBTHHHHT
Heh, ooops. I blame it on the other guy! nyahnyah.gif
Fire Hawk
Here's one in case it wasn't added prior:

(insert#): Beginning every combat with "Situation A. Releasing control art restriction system to level 1" is NOT ACCEPTABLE! Even if it WAS funny the first time!
bibliophile20
644. There are times when you've used too much explosive.
645. ...these times tend to coincide with the creation of craters/mushroom clouds that are visible from space.
646. Similarly, there are times when you've used too much ammunition.
647. ...these times tend to coincide with those instances when the building that you are standing in begins to collapse due to its structure being reduced to something resembling swiss cheese.
648. ...or those times when your opponent has been reduced to a bloody mist and he's not a vampire.
649. You cannot make a called shot with a crew-serviced weapon.
650. ...or a flamethrower, for that matter.
651. There will be no betting on how many times the wendigo bounces.
Kyoto Kid
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
344.  There are times when you've used too much explosive.
345.  ...these times tend to coincide with the creation of craters/mushroom clouds that are visible from space.
346.  Similarly, there are times when you've used too much ammunition. 
347.  ...these times tend to coincide with those instances when the building that you are standing in begins to collapse due to its structure being reduced to something resembling swiss cheese. 
348.  ...or those times when your opponent has been reduced to a bloody mist and he's not a vampire.

rotfl.gif
...actually have witnessed these both as a Player GM.

355 & 345 happened at the hands of my character Leela while on a mission on the African coast.

346 & 347 occurred when our team's rigger decided to let loose with all the ordinance on his Wanjina just as our troll sammy knocked on the door. The scene was priceless, There standing at the still intact door & doorframe was the Troll with a puzzled look on his face (the door was reinforced & armoured & the troll used Karma Pool to avoid an "oops"). He then looked down at his fist and shrugged his shoulders.

348 occurred in the opening session of Rhapsody when again, a the team's rigger let loose with the MMG on his rotodrone at a ganger. Basically pink cloud after which I said, "you see a pair of smoking black boots standing where the ganger was.
bibliophile20
652. There will be no asking the arcology resident which secret society he belongs to.
653. ...or asking what his mutant power is.
654. ...or what level of clearance he has.
655. ...it is, after all, above your clearance.
656. "How to serve Dragons" is not a cookbook.
657. ...despite the fervent wishes of many.
658. ...and no, they do not taste like chicken anyway.
659. German vampires do not smell like crap when in mist form (bonus points for anyone who gets this one)
660. The answer to the question "and your means of entry into the secured facility is...?" cannot be, under any circumstances, "Ballistically."
661. No matter how many high tech physics labs you raid, the GM will never give a PC any amount of antimatter.
662. ...no matter how cool it would be.
663. A custom gun that emits an "Ominous Hummmmm..." when the safety is off is allowed.
664. ...and it can even make a "THOOOOM!" noise when fired.
665. ...you cannot, however, hid it within your body when you don't need it.
666. ...especially via swallowing.
Kagetenshi
Aww, no GBEs?

~J
Shev
367. Shooting a wineglass from ten feet away is NOT going to impress your fellow runners.
368. ...especially if one of them is holding the glass.
369. ...and you didn't give him any warning.
370. On a similar note, it is very bad form to needlessly startle any nearby PCs with the "twitchy" and "paranoid" flaws.
371. ...especially if they have Wired Reflexes.
372. ...and a 3rd edition sliver gun.
373. If you ignored 367 in conjunction with 370, having your own medical facilities nearby is recommended.

Ah, good times. Honestly, who needs to make these up? biggrin.gif
ShadowDragon8685
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
352. There will be no asking the arcology resident which secret society he belongs to.
353. ...or asking what his mutant power is.
354. ...or what level of clearance he has.
355. ...it is, after all, above your clearance.
356. "How to serve Dragons" is not a cookbook.
357. ...despite the fervent wishes of many.
358. ...and no, they do not taste like chicken anyway.
359. German vampires do not smell like crap when in mist form (bonus points for anyone who gets this one)
360. The answer to the question "and your means of entry into the secured facility is...?" cannot be, under any circumstances, "Ballistically."
361. No matter how many high tech physics labs you raid, the GM will never give a PC any amount of antimatter.
362. ...no matter how cool it would be.
363. A custom gun that emits an "Ominous Hummmmm..." when the safety is off is allowed.
364. ...and it can even make a "THOOOOM!" noise when fired.
365. ...you cannot, however, hid it within your body when you don't need it.
366. ...especially via swallowing.

How about sawed-off multicannons?

Can I hook the feeder up and fire off breacher rounds full-auto?
Tashio
374. I don't care if you were previously a munitions commander..
375. ...you may not have anti-matter grenade epaulets.
376. ...no the doctor did not leave you his magic cryokit.
377. ...you cannot have a symbiote AI implanted in your spine.

For ShadowDragon

378. No you cannot have sawed-off multicannons.
379. You may have a goober gun...
380. ...Green-Mod 19 rounds are offlimits though.
Lindt
Ewwwww.
Demon_Bob
381 You may have a Thermo-Nuke hand grenade, but you can not throw it the 2 kilometers needed to get out of the blast radius. All such grenades go off at the end of the turn, there is no lever trigger. Dropping the grenade from a fast moving airplane might get you out of the blast radius in time but the resulting EMP will cause the plane to crash and you to die. No it is not possible for you to activate the grenade remotely via drone or any other means.
bibliophile20
QUOTE (Demon_Bob)
381 You may have a Thermo-Nuke hand grenade, but you can not throw it the 2 kilometers needed to get out of the blast radius. All such grenades go off at the end of the turn, there is no lever trigger. Dropping the grenade from a fast moving airplane might get you out of the blast radius in time but the resulting EMP will cause the plane to crash and you to die. No it is not possible for you to activate the grenade remotely via drone or any other means.

What is that referencing?
Demon_Bob
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
What is that referencing?

A paranoia game where the guys were given certian hand grenades but were not cleared to read the instructions until time of use. Instructions were to be read in order, with each instruction being followed out as it was read. The last being toss grenade 2 miles.
bibliophile20
682. No, they do not have cement mixers in 2070.
683. ...and even if they did, you are not allowed to fill one with high explosives and set it off.
684. Yes, all that cyberware might make it more likely for lightning to strike you.
685. ...and, no, it won't go for the other guy with the doorknob piercing.
686. Yes, your rigger may build a gigantic air-cannon.
687. ...it cannot, however, fire frozen poultry.
688. 2070 prison cells are salsa-proof.
689. Even with Wired Reflexes, it is impossible to catch a bullet in your teeth.
690. It is impossible to distribute photovoltic paint effectively with explosives.
691. Monofilament swords cannot cut through other swords.
692. ...or gun barrels.
ShadowDragon8685
I would dispute Bibliophile's 382, 383, 384, 387, 391 and 392.


Since we know they still use something analgous to cement in 2070, they must still exist. And if it exists, PCs can and most likely will resort to Plan B for dealing with it.

If you can build a gigantic air-cannon, you can load it with whatever payload you can damn well fit down the barrel, including FPDS - Frozen Poultry Discarding Sabot.

I'm reasonably sure that a monofilimant sword can cut through another sword's blade - and even if it can't, if it's being swung hard enough by a strong enough cybersammie/cybertroll, it will snap the other blade.

I don't care what Grant, Tory and Karrie say. Whether it's a slice or a snap is irrelevant - the point is that you still have a sword, and the other guy has a hilt.

And I'm pretty sure a monofilament sword, swung by a strong enough cybersammie/cybertroll, will go through a gun barrel, or at least damage it enough that it will no longer be capable of firing.
Kyoto Kid
393. Yes you can build a giant ballistic slingshot with surgical tubing and a large funnel.
394. ...but the scatter for the grenades you launch with it is 6d x 5m
395. ...and no, it cannot be used as a cheap means of transportation by your dwarf decker/hacker buddy.
PBTHHHHT
Yeah, I'd have to dispute 382, cement/concrete will be in use for a long time to come.
bibliophile20
QUOTE (PBTHHHHT)
Yeah, I'd have to dispute 382, cement/concrete will be in use for a long time to come.

I thought that they didn't use concrete anymore, due to some burrowing nuisance called a rockworm or something like that.
Kagetenshi
Granite, ferrocrete, and pre-stressed concrete are all on the menu, but according to a Shadowtalker going by the name of Doc, newer buildings use compound ceramics.

Now, just because buildings are made out of something different doesn't mean that concrete has been abandoned—especially since the Rockworm is only native to the northern reaches of the former US (though almost all of Canada is screwed).

~J
bibliophile20
693. Yes, you may have a giant air cannon.
694. ...and yes, you may fire frozen poultry out of it.
695. ...however, note that having it at all allows the GM to hijack it, load it with bovines and fire it at PCs.
696. Yes, a monofilament sword can cut through another sword.
697. ...you will need to buy another sword afterwards, though.
698. "Plywood" cannot be taken as a specialization of the "parachute" skill.
ShadowDragon8685
QUOTE (bibliophile20 @ Apr 30 2007, 11:12 AM)
398.  "Plywood" cannot be taken as a specialization of the "parachute" skill.

rollin.gif rollin.gif rollin.gif rollin.gif rollin.gif rollin.gif rollin.gif rollin.gif
Kyoto Kid
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
395. ...however, note that having it at all allows the GM to hijack it, load it with bovines and fire it at PCs.

...mmmmmm ALBB (Air Launched Bovine Bombardment)
tisoz
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
637. No matter what the rules say, I can't trick insect spirits into juggling bug bombs.
638. No matter how well I roll, a troll will never fit through an air duct.
639. No trying to hire Mr. Johnson when he's hiring you.
340. 640. On second thought, a Chaos mage with the trickster mentor spirit is a bad idea.

QUOTE (bibliophile20)
341. 641. Yes, your adept with missile mastery may have a cutlery/kitchen store as a front company.
342. 642. ...however, he is forbidden from saying "It slices, it dices...!" in any part of his adept centering technique.

<snip>
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
382. 682. No, they do not have cement mixers in 2070.
<snip>
392. 692. ...or gun barrels.

QUOTE (Kyoto Kid)
393. 693. Yes you can build a giant ballistic slingshot with surgical tubing and a large funnel.
<snip>
395. 695.  ...and no, it cannot be used as a cheap means of transportation by your dwarf decker/hacker buddy.

QUOTE (bibliophile20)
393. [???] 696. Yes, you may have a giant air cannon.
<snip>
398. 701. "Plywood" cannot be taken as a specialization of the "parachute" skill.

bibliophile20, do they teach counting where you were schooled? If so, you need to explain your system to the rest of us.
Herald of Verjigorm
Do notice that it went wrong at the mention of a trickster mentor spirit.
tisoz
QUOTE (Herald of Verjigorm)
Do notice that it went wrong at the mention of a trickster mentor spirit.

Ok, sorry, bibliophile20.
bibliophile20
I'm sorry, shall I go back and edit it? And why is it that every time I make a typo around here people jump on me!?

And yes I'm cranky, and yes I'm angry. I have two finals tomorrow, and unless a miracle happens, I'm GOING TO FAIL ONE OF THEM.
tisoz
QUOTE (bibliophile20 @ Apr 30 2007, 02:38 PM)
I'm sorry, shall I go back and edit it?  And why is it that every time I make a typo around here people jump on me!? 

And yes I'm cranky, and yes I'm angry.  I have two finals tomorrow, and unless a miracle happens, I'm GOING TO FAIL ONE OF THEM.

If one involves counting, I'd concentrate on the other. wink.gif

I just thought it was funny that it was the same person who kept making counting mistakes. And the entry number seems to be a pertinent part of the entry or it would be ignored, right? So, it needs corrected, IMO.
bibliophile20
QUOTE (tisoz)
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
637. No matter what the rules say, I can't trick insect spirits into juggling bug bombs.
638. No matter how well I roll, a troll will never fit through an air duct.
639. No trying to hire Mr. Johnson when he's hiring you.
340. 640. On second thought, a Chaos mage with the trickster mentor spirit is a bad idea.

QUOTE (bibliophile20)
341. 641. Yes, your adept with missile mastery may have a cutlery/kitchen store as a front company.
342. 642. ...however, he is forbidden from saying "It slices, it dices...!" in any part of his adept centering technique.

<snip>
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
382. 682. No, they do not have cement mixers in 2070.
<snip>
392. 692. ...or gun barrels.

QUOTE (Kyoto Kid)
393. 693. Yes you can build a giant ballistic slingshot with surgical tubing and a large funnel.
<snip>
395. 695.  ...and no, it cannot be used as a cheap means of transportation by your dwarf decker/hacker buddy.

QUOTE (bibliophile20)
393. [???] 696. Yes, you may have a giant air cannon.
<snip>
398. 701. "Plywood" cannot be taken as a specialization of the "parachute" skill.

bibliophile20, do they teach counting where you were schooled? If so, you need to explain your system to the rest of us.

The equation works like so:

Big hands + small laptop keyboard + tired college student = overlooked typo.

Now that that's out the the way...

DROP IT.
nezumi
I pointed that one out previously, but no one listens to little nezumis ;P I really thought it was part of the joke (and pretty funny, really). A most fortuitous typo, if in fact it is.
PBTHHHHT
QUOTE (nezumi)
I pointed that one out previously, but no one listens to little nezumis ;P

Who are you again? nyahnyah.gif
Kagetenshi
QUOTE (bibliophile20)
I have two finals tomorrow

Anything interesting?

QUOTE
The equation works like so:

[…]

DROP IT.

You're the one who'll have to drop it, since there's really nothing more to add unless you provide new material. You get held to exactly the same standard as everyone else around here, which is really no more than "spelling/typographical/grammatical errors may result in snarkiness". We're not in elementary school, you don't need to make sure to stamp out any chance that you'll be forever known as "that guy who mixed up the order of a list in that one thread".

There's probably an addition to the list about zombies and airplanes that should go here, but I'll have to check with one of my players tonight to confirm how that one goes.

~J, in the "exhausted college student" boat (but finals are still two weeks away here)
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